My fear about my future marriage

I always wish i could have a peep into the future before tying the knot. My parents are a very wonderful, heavenly made match. Couldn't have been better.

I was searching for the T.V manual in mom's bedside locker when i stumbled on some cards, they were her xmas, birthday and stuffs like that cards, but one caught my attention. It was a birthday card to a wife from her husband. I wondered, dad never buy cards, he isn't just the type. I quickly opened it and read:
Everybody needs somebody to love
I'm glad my somebody is you!
(the card's wordings)

Lovely journey of over a quarter of a century has absolutely proved me right,
I made a right choice of SOMEBODY.
(this was written by dad, then the usual birthday greetings for lovers)

My point now is I always fear I wouldn't get a marriage as good as my folks. I haven't found anybody that has got the perfect qualities. I don't know what to do really. It's odd I feel that way I know but can't help it.

i am a suitable suitor ooooooo

hei mide2..why are u feeling unsure and insecure with your self

I can't say but i think maybe it's because i haven't seen alot of succesful marriages these days. Alot of pple have the same quality that my folks have and yet their marriages aren't nothing to write home about. It hasn't got a rule, it's about luck and i dread making a mistake.

you are mistaken something..marriage is not a luck as u stated earlier..its all about compatibility...as we all know marriage is like a sealed package,what u pick is wat u get...dats the more reason why you have to shine ur eyes b4 marriage...to make ur marriage better tahn your parents own...just question ur mom and dad differently and let them tell you...wat keeps their marriage flowing and many more tactics in which you can get your knght in shining armour b4 u go alter-bound

Thnx rickkyjen, i have done abit of the questioning stuff, What i found out is that it's more of sacrificing and compromising somethings to make the other happy but u see it's a joint effort. And alot of compatibility like you rightly said but how sure can one be b4 getting into the real deal of marriage.

I feel i'll always see my folks as standard and thats already stressing me out. Anything less i'm sure gonna feel like a failure to them.

As u said..u look up to ur folks but as u stated their marriage is not being rosy...well i think u have to look up to people with successful union...and dats why i advocate for some kind of long -term relationship ..lets say3 years above so as to know your intending man and not jump into marriage cos marriage is not all about rollin on each other and making babies....compatibility and compromisin of standards should be there as u stated

I didn't say my parent's marriage isn't rosy........it's the best i've seen so far. My fear is, is it possible i have something like theirs or even better. I'm always comparing my r/ship with guys to my parent's r/ship and i haven't so far seen anyone like it.

sorry for ma mistake ...but d fact is this u cant compare your relationship with guys to ur parents marriage...cos for sure u are not married to those guys....and am sure ur parents marriage cant just be perfect from day 1...ofcourse there would have been some flaws in d past....before it became perfect...so dont compare ur relationship with ur parents marriage...just get a listening man...who can address issues with you ,when there seems to be disagreement in ur marriage.....my dear rome was not built a day..you cant just hit perfection like a goldmine...u have to work towards it...if u doubt me,ask your parents

I don't doubt you one bit. And onething i guess i got from your post that i would definitely always remember is to have some real chat with them differently. I haven't tried the one to one chat with both of them at different times before. Though they're going to end up telling themselves. Anyways thanks so much, you wouldn't know to what extent i appreciate your post. I was really bothered but i'm sure it isn't an impossibility having a better marriage. Thanks a million rikkyjen. you're a gem.

My tip: You can't go wrong with a partner who thinks and behaves exactly like you. At first such a partner might not be as exciting as characters that are your exact opposite, but in the context of a long-term relationship both of you will be much happier. You'll not have many reasons to fight, and this will give you time to spend making the relatinship stronger and richer. Good luck.

I dont think i can say it better than seun put it, sometimes we are the architect of our downfall in marriage and we look outward for the cause, maybe we are not completely honest with ourselves when chosing our partner, maybe we chose certain qualities over another even when we know we shouldnt and when it falls apart we cry "why me God?", marriage is created to be bliss, and its success or failure lies with us, not luck.

God's bidding.

well, mide, i think you should just be yourself, get advice from ur parents and do not put too much pressure on ur partner ( dont expect too much from him) i wish you the best of luck

We would definately not have as good a marriage as our parents....i have personally given up on marriage...Life is too fast paced now...i want it all....live on my own...come and go as i please...plus there are too many pretty women out there...

Well.....hmmmmmmmmmm. Love goes to those who respect and beleive in it...

Chikena

mide2, u are going to have a good marriage. u have to change ur mindset and start believing this or else fear would rob u of ur happiness. fear like faith does attract its object beware!
secondly there is no one perfect u are going to meet because u aint perfect either. i suggest u discover what u want and begin from where u are

I agree with her. I have my doubt sometimes

It takes the grace n help of God for a good marriage.

Can you use your hand to beat your chest or look into my eyez and tell me that you have not still found anyone

Mide2 i know what you are talking about.Everybody talks about love you don't know who is who.To me men seem to be the same.When entering into marriage just have shock absorber and make sure you have something doing to avoid heart attack.Believe in God and be hard working.Gone are the days when women were HOUSE WIVES

And u definetly wont becos u have already said it.... Beware of the power of the Mouth....

What u say is what u get!!!!!!!!!!!!

madam the[i] madame [/i].........

Yes ke! Its a matter of cash...

But u agree with me about the power of the mouth.....?

Absolutely and completely...........the earlier we realise how powerful the mouth is the more positively we would put it to use

na mouth una dey take type?

mide it takes 2 to tangle u do have 2 talk 2 ur parents about ur fear and they will definately advise you and also u talk to your spouse about it, cos to communication is the key. if u dont talk 2 him he would never know wat u want, who knows he might just be waiting for you to say it
keep it cool gurl life itself is a risk so we all have 2 take risk all the time

thnx, evryone who has contributed to this forum.....ese gan ni.........i'm thru with all my fears, infact my fear has been turned into love. I can bet i have found the true love of my life. My heartbeat, my soulmate, my sunshine, my rainbow. I have lost my heart to him and i'm sure, more than sure, MY MARRIAGE WILL BE HUNDERED FOLDS MUCH MORE BLISSFUL THAN THAT OF EM FOLKS. I owe it all to God tho. cheers !!!!

na u be this?, make I reservoir my comments

make your comment bro........you're very free to make them.

u delebrately disgraced our nation