ReinaFarine:

I would like to argue semantics.... Doing house chores and being a maid...

But I'll pass...

Okay Master. Whatever you say.
I wish you happiness in life and marriage.. But if that your barefoot pregnant wife says no, it means no. Simple.

virgins are not mental hospital escapees like feminists are.

MissWrite:


Yes, I agree with you: it's absolutely tantamount to rape. It's the only way to get a hypothetical dick into a straight guy's hypothetical ass. But this is the point: once the dick is in, is it possible to take it out in the midst of his enjoyment when he's asked to remove it? Or would one have to wait it out?




I commend your perspective.



So back to that guy's dick in the straight guy's ass and the justifications you've made for a person who has been given an initial green light: in the moment they're both caught in the same (mechanical) situation. Now in the first instance, I would assume, the guy would be expected to be able to stop immediately his victim wakes up. In the second instance, somehow, he's unable to stop (because he had been given initial consent?). I think that the difficulty to stop would be experienced in both cases. So, I believe that this isn't a question of "can he?" But "should he stop?" in the minds of people who say it's impossible to withdraw consent in this context.


Yes, you're making a solid point when you say that both parties should be comfortable and certain before proceeding. But sometimes a man can read a girl's uncertainty as clear as day, but he's hoping she'll go through with it. He's setting himself up that way. But incidences like the one which inspired this conversation aren't very popular I hope (I don't know): where a girl is into it until she climaxes. That's a rubbish thing to do. Of course we have "users" out there who only need people for their own gratification; tough luck if you end up with one (like guys who don't finish the job on a girl), but it's still no reason to rape someone.

you have tried so well to make sense but is tiring to make sense out of your logic..............you can rest now

kazyhm:



you have tried so well to make sense but is tiring to make sense out of your logic..............you can rest now

Then take a nap. No one is forcing you to do this.

oyb:
This withdrawal of consent during what was a consensual act comes across as a very very grey area.

I get the distinct impression that if I suddenly decided I no dey do again during intercourse my partner would probably be very upset at my selfishness/disregard for her.

That is how that comes across to me.

Why would I want someone to sleep with me even though he does not enjoy it? In a good relationship, you show understanding in such situations. My two cents.

Faxole:


The validity of "No" can be disputed if the circumstances suggest an arbitrary utterance. The validity of "No" can also be disputed if the consequences are harmful in some way to the other party. If we grant that "No" cannot be disputed, then we can as well apply that to every domain of life. We can say that people should be free to say no to the utilization of something that belongs to them, whenever they like, even after saying yes. So going by your argument I could lend my car to a guy to travel with and then half way through his 12 hour journey I could just say "No" and then tell him to fuçk off and find a bus or trek. You cannot dismiss the consequences of saying "No" after already saying Yes. The potential consequences on the other party matters. I think it's quite insensitive to say that the validity of "No" cannot be negotiated, especially after saying yes.

If there isn't a signed lease, you can take back your property from someone at any point you please. It might be insensitive of you, but it's your absolute right. The guy can grumble, but if you're there to relieve him of the keys, he cannot claim he's got a right to drive it to said destination. He cannot insist that, since you already said "yes" you cannot change your mind. Unless there's a contract. The best he can do is call you an unreliable friend and never borrow your car again.

Since we don't know what's happening in the mind of the participants and the potential consequences saying "No" or refusing to pull out may have on either of the partners, why then are we legislating this as a rape crime of which the only victim is the woman?

"No" can be used by anyone. It doesn't matter if it's a woman or a man.

As you've noticed during my argument, I've always been specific about what I'm against. I'm against a woman telling a guy to pull out after consentingly opening her legs for him to fuçk. I know there are cases where a woman can unwillingly open her legs, but I'm specifically referring to the cases of full consent.

Yes, this part is clear to me. I only tried to explain (earlier) that there are non-vindictive reasons for retracting consent. Therefore, a woman who urgently needs her car to drive her sick mother someplace, shouldn't be treated too harshly for retrieving the vehicle from a friend who was only looking to oppress some guys. Sometimes a girl has genuine issues, which is why her request to be left alone should be respected.

If you are familiar with most courtroom cases surrounding this kind of issue, women usually win. And that's why I find the legislation to be dangerous, insensitive and one sided.

. Men are coming from a place where women couldn't even bring these kinds of suits, so I understand how it can feel like you're "losing ground". It's all relative.

Faxole:

If you are familiar with most courtroom cases surrounding this kind of issue, women usually win. And that's why I find the legislation to be dangerous, insensitive and one sided.

They usually win because the courts are biased or because most of them were actually raped/abused?

MissWrite:


If there isn't a signed lease, you can take back your property from someone at any point you please. It might be insensitive of you, but it's your absolute right. The guy can grumble, but if you're there to relieve him of the keys, he cannot claim he's got a right to drive it to said destination. He cannot insist that, since you already said "yes" you cannot change your mind. Unless there's a contract. The best he can do is call you an unreliable friend and never borrow your car again.


"No" can be used by anyone. It doesn't matter if it's a woman or a man.


Yes, this part is clear to me. I only tried to explain (earlier) that there are non-vindictive reasons for retracting consent. Therefore, a woman who urgently needs her car to drive her sick mother someplace, shouldn't be treated too harshly for retrieving the vehicle from a friend who was only looking to oppress some guys. Sometimes a girl has genuine issues, which is why her request to be left alone should be respected.

. Men are coming from a place where women couldn't even bring these kinds of suits, so I understand how it can feel like you're "losing ground". It's all relative.

I'm usually pragmatic when discussing issues like this. I don't just argue for theoretical purposes. I'm usually more concerned about the practical implications of an argument. I find how you are justifying being insensitive quite shocking and morally reprehensible as well. Someone once said that extreme left wing ideology has the potential to undermine society. I've always found that to be quite a profound statement and when I think about issues like this, the validity of the statement continues to shine forth. Ideas like the one you are holding have the potential to turn humans into apathetic robots who don't care about the effects of their actions on others, on the basis that they have rights and freedoms. One of the things that has helped sustain society, is the acknowledgement that an individual's actions have consequences and these consequences can affect others, so when we make a decision to act, we should do it with the awareness of the negative effects it can have on others, even if it temporarily infringes on our so called rights. You don't just sentence a man to jail for years and destroy his reputation and life just because he couldn't pull out after consentingly opening up your legs for him to fuçk.

It's not just insensitive to take the keys from the friend halfway through his journey, it's also selfish, callous and cruel. And the selfishness, cruelty and callousness of that action doesn't seem to faze you. All you care about is imposing your perceived rights. This is the kind of mindset that led to the death of millions of people in the Soviet union and this is the kind of mindset that's going to lead to the collapse of society as we know it. What you feminists actually care about is power and exercising that power over men. You don't care about the consequences of your actions and the implications of your arguments. You don't care whether they are selfish, insensitive, cruel or callous. You just want to exercise power.

ubunja:
virgins are not mental hospital escapees like feminists are.

are you saying a virgin can't be a feminist? hian! nairalanders sef

Proudgorgeousga:


are you saying a virgin can't be a feminist?
hian! nairalanders sef

im saying if you are not a virgin why are you even talking to me?? you dont qualify dont bother.

ubunja:

im saying if you are not a virgin why are you even talking to me?? you dont qualify dont bother.

and I'm saying I'm a virgin. now answer the question. can a girl be a virgin and a feminist at the same time?

Proudgorgeousga:


and I'm saying I'm a virgin. now answer the question. can a girl be a virgin and a feminist at the same time?

no she cant.
but if she calls herself a feminist then she gets disqualified.

ubunja:
no she cant. but if she calls herself a feminist then she gets disqualified.

you have confirmed what I thought about you. you are obtuse.

Proudgorgeousga:


you have confirmed what I thought about you. you are obtuse.

whatever that means...
but the way i abhor feminists is like how i abhor vomit mixed with menstruation blood boiled in sewage with pubic hair sprinkled on top then mucus sprayed on top for seasoning.
and if you think im a Patriarch think again coz that system is like the shiit that is feminism its just sprayed with perfume to smell good.

Mindfulness:


Well, I am only half African, to begin with, and have lived for the most part of my life abroad. So much for your conclusions and generalizations.

Half African, my foot.

You'v lived most of your life abroad and yet had the mindset of saying that a man's penis is stronger than his brain, of what reason should you be seen as an exposed lady.

Mindfulness:


Why would I want someone to sleep with me even though he does not enjoy it? In a good relationship, you show understanding in such situations. My two cents.

Heh. It can happen for any number of reasons. One of us might be feeling Hot while the other is preoccupied with something else and just not in the mood per second.

That's why we have the aptly named term maintenance sex.

It is not a 100% given that both partners will get 100% erm utility from the act everytime.

MissWrite:
It's an ugly situation here in Nigeria (and probably other African countries as well). It's sad that many of us are still confused about this. We should all be free to decide when we aren't comfortable with something anymore. If we cannot do that, how are we ever supposed to feel safe to engage in the first place?

Agreeing to have sex is not like jumping off a building where regret half-way down is futile. The reason it seems so to many men (and women) is that male sexuality is routinely indulged in Africa (at the expense of women). We believe that a man cannot control himself. But it isn't so much "cannot" as "would not". If a man likes to Bleep around, we say it's in his nature and he gets a pass for promiscuity (it's God's fault for giving him more sperm cells than he knows what to do with). Some guy would guilt a girl into feeling responsible for appeasing his excited dick, just because she's the one who "inspired" it (most of us have heard the myth that a guy would "die" from blue balls). And here again we accept that a man cannot pull out halfway through sex until he cums. They aren't built that way .

I guarantee that this won't fly in this scenario: a man wakes up from sleep to the feeling of another guy's dick in his ass. I bet he won't say "I know your biology prevents you from pulling your dick out of my ass this very minute; but after you've cum, I'll &$@*# ......."

Human beings can all be controlled by their brains. That's our design. The moment that ceases to be true for any particular individual, then he's a mental case and a danger to society. He needs to be removed and rehabilitated.

But in a court of law, however, it would be difficult to establish withdrawal of consent because it's a he-said-she-said situation. I wish we would make progress with 24/7 personal surveillance chips.

She has com again Where have u been na

ubunja:

whatever that means...
but the way i abhor feminists is like how i abhor vomit mixed with menstruation blood boiled in sewage with pubic hair sprinkled on top then mucus sprayed on top for seasoning.
and if you think im a Patriarch think again coz that system is like the shiit that is feminism its just sprayed with perfume to smell good.

Omor brosssssssss... Dis mixture na die o

Kekx:


Half African, my foot.

You'v lived most of your life abroad and yet had the mindset of saying that a man's penis is stronger than her brain, of what reason should you be seen as an exposed lady.

You mean his brain and you missed the sarcasm. And what makes you think that everyone who lives abroad must be automatically exposed?

oyb:


Heh. It can happen for any number of reasons. One of us might be feeling Hot while the other is preoccupied with something else and just not in the mood per second.

That's why we have the aptly named term maintenance sex.

It is not a 100% given that both partners will get 100% erm utility from the act everytime.

I will rather wait until he is in the mood than engage in maintenance s.ex. S.ex is not food.

EOOJ:


She has com again Where have u been na

Been about my business. How've you been?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEhy-RXkNo0&list=RDsEhy-RXkNo0&t=5

Mindfulness:


You mean his brain and you missed the sarcasm. And what makes you think that everyone who lives abroad must be automatically exposed?

Her - Error

And you never thought I was also being sarcastic aswell

Most of'em are, I don't mind you granting me the permission to believe that you aren't.

Kekx:


Her - Error

And you never thought I was also being sarcastic aswell

Most of'em are, I don't mind you granting me the permission to believe that you aren't.

You have the permission to think whatever you want. It does not add or take from my bank account.

Mindfulness:


You have the permission to think whatever you want. It does not add or take from my bank account.

And I'v chosen to see you a typical African, forming half-African

Kekx:


And I'v chosen to see you a typical African, forming half-African

To those who it may concern.

MissWrite:





Been about my business. How've you been?

Been good o... Missed all ur killer killer english

Mindfulness:

To those who it may concern.

Mindfulness:

To those who it may concern.

This is one ridiculous write up I must confess

is rape or cases of sexual assault only peculiar to Nigeria?

So because some lawyers don't understand the meaning of consent, every lawyer in Nigeria is not bright enough to understand?

Haven't we read about cases of young teenagers kidnapped and raped in western world in the past? The case on Dr phil show in 2013-2014 comes to mind

Why is Southafrica nicknamed the rape capital of the world and not Nigeria ? (no pun intended)


I just hate it, when an article that is suppose to deal with an important issue in our society in a constructive way becomes so repulsive.

NB: I don't support rape or sexual assault in anyway, but I am against an article trying to paint my darling country in a bad light

greiboy:
This is one ridiculous write up I most confess

Is rape or cases of sexual assault only peculiar to Nigeria?

So because some lawyers don't understand the meaning of consent, every lawyer in Nigeria is not bright enough to understand?

Haven't we read about cases of young teenagers kidnap and raped in western world in the past? The case on Dr phil show in 2013-2014 comes to mind

Why is Southafrica nicknamed the rape capital of the world and not Nigeria ? (no pun intended)


I just hate it, when an article that is suppose to deal with an important issue in our society in a constructive way becomes so repulsive.

NB: I don't support rape or sexual assault in anyway, but I am against an article trying to paint my darling country in a bad light

if you rape you rape. stop the rape and the title will evaporate

ubunja:

if you rape you rape. stop the rape and the title will evaporate

Yes, I get that,

Still, I am just one man, thus I cannot control the decisions of every men in Nigeria.

Criminals will always exist, regardless of how one try to sensitize the society against criminal acts.

I am just saying that it is not right to paint a whole country with a bad image because of the criminal conduct of a few(rapist)

greiboy:
Yes, I get that,

Still, I am just one man, thus I cannot control the decisions of every men in Nigeria.

Criminals will always exist, regardless of how one try to sensitize the society against criminal acts.

I am just saying that it is not right to paint a whole country with a bad image because of the criminal conduct of a few(rapist)

im in Jozi and i seen the shiit men can do.i know it hurts but dont take it personally.SA men have anger problems