scenario A the girl loses her mum from cancer age 23, the dad becomes a widower after 24 years of marriage

scenario B the girl loses her dad from cancer when she was 3 months old, the mum becomes a widow for the SECOND TIME


whose situation is worse?

person A or person B

Abeg no ask for my opinion on this kind thing. They don't exist in my world

This girl sef.. Wetin be ya problem? Na money u dey find?

A

Losing a mother is the most traumatic experience a person could ever go through. You lose your anchor, your lighthouse & your security blanket.

Fathers' roles in my opinion aren't that pivotal in a girl child's life.

XhosaNostra:
A

Losing a mother is the most traumatic experience a person could ever go through. You lose your anchor, your lighthouse & your security blanket.

Fathers' roles in my opinion aren't that pivotal in a girl child's life.

It's more provital than you can ever imagine, you'll know only mother will open up to tell you.

Most mothers do hide some father's emotional roles from the kids.

donstan18:


It's more provital than you can ever imagine, you'll know only mother will open up to tell you.

Most mothers do hide some father's emotional roles from the kids.

what are you saying please?

which one is worse A OR B

2morogobeta:
scenario A the girl loses her mum from cancer age 23, the dad becomes a widower after 24 years of marriage

scenario B the girl loses her dad from cancer when she was 3 months old, the mum becomes a widow for the SECOND TIME


whose situation is worse?

person A or person B

Where did it happened ?
My sympathy with those affected.

bobokeshington:


Where did it happened ?
My sympathy with those affected.

Answer the question jare

who is worse a or b

donstan18:


It's more provital than you can ever imagine, you'll know only mother will open up to tell you.

Most mothers do hide some father's emotional roles from the kids.

How so? I'm not really getting what you're trying to say.

I'd still choose the death of a father any day because losing a mother is just soul crushing. You're never the same again.

XhosaNostra:


How so? I'm not really getting what you're trying to say.

I'd still choose the death of a father any day because losing a mother is just soul crushing. You're never the same again.

are your parents alive?

2morogobeta:


are your parents alive?

No.

XhosaNostra:


No.

im so sorry

me too

my mum died recently

how old were you/ your parents when they died

but my dad is still alive.

2morogobeta:

what are you saying please?
which one is worse A OR B

Both of them.

donstan18:




Both of them.

why

which one is worse

2morogobeta:


im so sorry

me too

my mum died recently

how old were you/ your parents when they died

but my dad is still alive.

No problem. My condolences

Well, they were no longer together but I was 13 when my dad passed away & 15 when my mom passed. It's been years.

XhosaNostra:


How so? I'm not really getting what you're trying to say.

I'd still choose the death of a father any day because losing a mother is just soul crushing. You're never the same again.

Your choice, I think

Well, it depends on how close you are/were to each of them.

donstan18:


Your choice, I think

Well, it depends on how close you are/were to each of them.

Perhaps.

XhosaNostra:


No problem. My condolences

Well, they were no longer together but I was 13 when my dad passed away & 15 when my mom passed.

were you close to both?

are you nigerian - your name is SA

i am close to both

my mother died when i was 23

my dad still alive

to lose my dad would be devestating

but to lose my mum.... even more devestating

its common for dad not to be around

not common for mum not to be around

she was my favourite person in the whole world.

i am just trying to compare my life to this girl

she has everything.

if i work hard, i can have everything.

but ...

no matter what i achieve in this world, my mum is always gone.

but im trying to see what is worse

her dad died when she was a few months old, that made her mother a WIDOW for the SECOND time as her first husband died too.

i mean at least i had both parents for 23 years and my dad enjoyed 24 years of marriage?

2morogobeta:

why
which one is worse

Both of them are worse.
But, if I'm forced to choose, i"l say B is the worst.

2morogobeta:


were you close to both?

are you nigerian - your name is SA

i am close to both

my mother died when i was 23

my dad still alive

to lose my dad would be devestating

but to lose my mum.... even more devestating

its common for dad not to be around

not common for mum not to be around

she was my favourite person in the whole world.

i am just trying to compare my life to this girl

she has everything.

if i work hard, i can have everything.

but ...

no matter what i achieve in this world, my mum is always gone.

but im trying to see what is worse

her dad died when she was a few months old, that made her mother a WIDOW for the SECOND time as her first husband died too.

i mean at least i had both parents for 23 years and my dad enjoyed 24 years of marriage?

Awwww girl, I'm feeling this story of yours to the soul right now. IMO, the experience is not the same because she never actually bonded with her father since he died while she was still a baby. The pain is different when you have memories of the person. It really hurts & hard to come to terms with. I'm sure she longs for the relationship they never had though. The "what ifs". But i don't think it's comparable since you actually spent some time with your parent to know the difference between the now & while they were still alive.

donstan18:


It's more provital than you can ever imagine, you'll know only mother will open up to tell you.

Most mothers do hide some father's emotional roles from the kids.

How is it possible to hide someone else's emotional role? Can you pls kindly explain.
My own understanding is that you're either there to support someone emotionally or you're not.

2morogobeta:


were you close to both?

are you nigerian - your name is SA

i am close to both

my mother died when i was 23

my dad still alive

to lose my dad would be devestating

but to lose my mum.... even more devestating

its common for dad not to be around

not common for mum not to be around

she was my favourite person in the whole world.

i am just trying to compare my life to this girl

she has everything.

if i work hard, i can have everything.

but ...

no matter what i achieve in this world, my mum is always gone.

but im trying to see what is worse

her dad died when she was a few months old, that made her mother a WIDOW for the SECOND time as her first husband died too.

i mean at least i had both parents for 23 years and my dad enjoyed 24 years of marriage?

mumu the question was a trap to see how men and women will react at each parent's death and you're trying to prove that ladies will choose that the man die instead of the woman, even if their mother became widow for multiple time they are cool with it hence it's men that are dying.

eyinjuege:


How is it possible to hide someone else's emotional role? Can you pls kindly explain.
My own understanding is that you're either there to support someone emotionally or you're not.

Sorry for not being specific, I meant being emotional traumatized and bothered about the bad fare of your kids.

You know mothers naturally makes theirs, obvious to you than fathers, but deep down, fathers are more bothered.

donstan18:


Sorry for not being specific, I meant being emotional traumatized and bothered about the bad fare of your kids.

You know mothers naturally makes theirs, obvious to you than fathers, but deep down, fathers are more bothered.

We're not talking about the emotional needs of the parents here but that of the child. Its not enough to show or not show you're worried about your child. The main thing is about the child's needs.
For example, the sick child in hospital feels terrible due to the illness, is mummy or daddy there with him to hug him, touch him and tell him its all going to be alright?
Is daddy there to comfort him in hospital and to make him feel loved and not alone or abandoned in illness? Is daddy there to wipe away his tears?
As parents, we all have our needs too. Lets not mix our needs with that of the children as they are seperate from one another.
A father /mother should be the number one cheerleader of their child. We should all try to be close to our children and show it that we love them.

eyinjuege:



We're not talking about the emotional needs of the parents here but that of the child. Its not enough to show or not show you're worried about your child. The main thing is about the child's needs.
For example, the sick child in hospital feels terrible due to the illness, is mummy or daddy there with him to hug him, touch him and tell him its all going to be alright?
Is daddy there to comfort him in hospital and to make him feel loved and not alone or abandoned in illness? Is daddy there to wipe away his tears?
As parents, we all have our needs too. Lets not mix our needs with that of the children as they are seperate from one another.
A father /mother should be the number one cheerleader of their child. We should all try to be close to our children and show it that we love them.

I Initially apologized for not being specific with my comment.

Well, you made a point.

donstan18:


I Initially apologized for not being specific with my comment.

Well, you made a point.

No offence was taken initially, and I'm also not trying to offend you. Just a normal discussion about some of the roles of parents whether mom or dad.
Have a good Sunday..

eyinjuege:


No offence was taken initially, and I'm also not trying to offend you. Just a normal discussion about some of the roles of parents whether mom or dad.
Have a good Sunday..

Alright brO, thanks for the contribution.

Bless up.

donstan18:


Sorry for not being specific, I meant being emotional traumatized and bothered about the bad fare of your kids.

You know mothers naturally makes theirs, obvious to you than fathers, but deep down, fathers are more bothered.

very true, fathers like to act tough, they will be very weak but they will still act strong

also fathers are less likely to be closer to their kids cos of stress, after working thru out the day, they prefer to rest other than chatting with their kids

fathers that are less busy are closer to their children than those that are always busy

derrydinny:


very true, fathers like to act tough, they will be very weak but they will still act strong

also fathers are less likely to be closer to their kids cos of stress, after working thru out the day, they prefer to rest other than chatting with their kids

fathers that are less busy are closer to their children than those that are always busy

That's the truth brO!
Much point, you got.


But, nature has it that mothers are to close their kids more than fathers, which is making most fellows think otherwise.