I rarely post on this forum but i think i can get a good advice here. There was this church sister i was admiring when i was still single around 2014 and i tried to woo her but the treatment she gave to me was terrible. She rejected all my advances until i was discouraged. It was just a few years after NYSC and i was just managing the little job i was engaged in and everything then was just not rosy at all.

After a while i approached another sister in my church and we got married within eight months but a few weeks to our traditional marriage i got a better job offer that was ten times better than what i was doing and since then God has been good to us.
After our wedding, the other church sister who turned down my advances came and joined the music team which i was a part of and since then she has been on my neck. She became friendly to me and she started calling me on phone to ask for recharge cards; from there she progressed to financial assistance and i have been complying. Initially I thought i was just being helpful but her requests keep coming and even when I am with my wife she keeps calling.

Something in me tells me that this is how extra-marital affair starts and i don't want to be involved in it. Not just that, the church i attend will quickly dish out punishment whenever they suspect someone of anything immorality and it will be very embarrassing. More so, if a woman can prove that you have been sending her money she has also proved that you are dating her and you cannot exonerate yourself from such allegation. Even when you try to exonerate yourself, people will ask you "then on what grounds have you been giving her money?" This is because people all over the world believe that money is given in exchange for something which could be anything.

Please what can i do to make this girl stay away from me in order not to break my home?

haha you send money, send airtime. You for finish the affair off by sleeping with her now.

She even get the guts to call you anytime, bro check yourself

If you dey give her money for nothing sake, you for don tell your woman. I don't think it's late tho

Stop meeting those needs. She will naturally withdraw. Or arrange a distractor for her....

Jst bring her in has yr second wife then her demand will stop since u can't decide has a man.

My plenty cent
dis tin wey u write thy make me vex

Young man, when next she asks for money, tell her that you'll have to discuss with your wife before sending the money to her....Trust me, she'll never ask for money again.....But, if she continues, then tell your wife... Na just 2 or 3 words your wife go drop for u, ur brain go reset well well




Believe me you, if you continue keeping this away from your wife, you will definitely sleep with that lady one day.

Let her know that you are married now and can't be helping her monetary, snc you av a family to care for.She regretted her action and looks for way to be closer to you.Be frank and serious while talking to her. She can ruin your marriage if you continue to accommodate her.Be wise.

She became friendly to me and she started calling me on phone to ask for recharge cards; from there she progressed to financial assistance and i have been complying. Initially I thought i was just being helpful but her requests keep coming and even when I am with my wife she keeps calling.

Something in me tells me that this is how extra-marital affair starts and i don't want to be involved in it.

You're already involved in it. You know what you're doing is wrong, you know how to stop it----but a part of you still wants her, hence the indulgence.

I love how you 'men' play clueless and undiscerning in matters like this. Till we hear "I mistakenly had sex with her".
One would think you slipped and fell into the nunu.

Continue!

Next time she calls you, GIVE THE PHONE TO YOUR WIFE TO ANSWER.....

Thank me later!

You cannot say no?
Does your wife now about your philanthropic ventures? And if she does not why not? That should answer your question.
Don’t be acting guilty when there is nothing to be guilty off. If your wife did the same you won’t be pleased put an end to this philanthropic venture of yours.

eniolorunfe:
Next time she calls you, GIVE THE PHONE TO YOUR WIFE TO ANSWER.....

Thank me later!

Maybe he secretly likes this
Makes no ounce of sense to me

Tell your wife the truth then block her number and cut her out of your life for good.

MissRaine69:

Maybe he secretly likes this
Makes no ounce of sense to me

I think he still has a soft spot for her and she knows this else, he won't be here asking this question in the first place. He should hand over the matter to his wife to handle and it shall definitely be well handled!

Better yarn this issue to ur wife oo make kasala no bust. When giving money to a female u should be very very careful and especially as a married man.na naija wey dey bros. Tell ur wife and only ur wife can handle the issue with this lady or at best if she calls then hand d fone to ur wife as someone suggested here.

eniolorunfe:
Next time she calls you, GIVE THE PHONE TO YOUR WIFE TO ANSWER.....

Thank me later!

+Explain this to her and your wife.Then stop any kind of favour except through your wife.After God,fear women

eniolorunfe:


I think he still has a soft spot for her and she knows this else, he won't be here asking this question in the first place. He should hand over the matter to his wife to handle and it shall definitely be well handled!

He is having an emotional affair and can’t admit it.

alimaa:
I rarely post on this forum but i think i can get a good advice here. There was this church sister i was admiring when i was still single around 2014 and i tried to woo her but the treatment she gave to me was terrible. She rejected all my advances until i was discouraged. It was just a few years after NYSC and i was just managing the little job i was engaged in and everything then was just not rosy at all.

After a while i approached another sister in my church and we got married within eight months but a few weeks to our traditional marriage i got a better job offer that was ten times better than what i was doing and since then God has been good to us.
After our wedding, the other church sister who turned down my advances came and joined the music team which i was a part of and since then she has been on my neck. She became friendly to me and she started calling me on phone to ask for recharge cards; from there she progressed to financial assistance and i have been complying. Initially I thought i was just being helpful but her requests keep coming and even when I am with my wife she keeps calling.

Something in me tells me that this is how extra-marital affair starts and i don't want to be involved in it. Not just that, the church i attend will quickly dish out punishment whenever they suspect someone of anything immorality and it will be very embarrassing. More so, if a woman can prove that you have been sending her money she has also proved that you are dating her and you cannot exonerate yourself from such allegation. Even when you try to exonerate yourself, people will ask you "then on what grounds have you been giving her money?" This is because people all over the world believe that money is given in exchange for something which could be anything.

Please what can i do to make this girl stay away from me in order not to break my home?

which kin mumu be dis

I love your responses so far. I have told my wife about it and she knows the sister in question and she is of the opinion that i direct the girl to her each time she asks for monetary assistance, that it will make her stop asking for more. My wife is not that type that confronts people.

[quote][/quote]mugu spotted

MissRaine69:

He is having an emotional affair and can’t admit it.

Emotional affairs are the worst

Only1mi:


Emotional affairs are the worst

I concur 100%

Send your wife to work since you're not man enough.

If you wife is mature in understanding, get her involved when helping ladies financially.

To avoid stories that touch let your wife know about it

Please oh,is it me or does the story actually give goosebumps? Like why do people know what the need to do and just lack the grit they need.
The table you're shaking Oga,has so many consequences all of which rubs poo on your face.

More reason why I just appreciate myself..

Stop picking her calls
Try and avoid her as much as possible
Keep a bland or boneface whenever the two of you are alone
If she asks for any money or favor, tell you don't have or can't create the time.
She will surely get the message because she is manipulating your kindhearted nature to be get things from you and she made it clear to you while you were single that she abhors you so why should you waste your time and resources on her?
If you are looking for who to help, it should never be somebody like her and trust me she will try to ruin your name in the church in future so the earlier you cease all forms of interaction with her, the better

Just leave the church for her

Gv d phone to ur wife or tell her to go n look 4 boyfriend or husband u re nt her ATM wen u re poor she did nt want to hv anything to do with u but now dat u re ok she is calling u n pls dnt think of hvin sex with her oo pls dat will b d end, because she will b using dat against u or if she ask u 4anythin tell her dat u re going to send u wife to her if she is nt a fool she will understand dat ur wife too knw about her

alimaa:
I love your responses so far. I have told my wife about it and she knows the sister in question and she is of the opinion that i direct the girl to her each time she asks for monetary assistance, that it will make her stop asking for more. My wife is not that type that confronts people.

better now ,seems ur wife to her b4 ur wife too will b thinking dat u re hvin sex with her or b4 is too late 4u to do

U re right but u knw d way women thinks if op do nt pick her calls d wife will b thinking dat is because she is dia pick d calls gv it to ur wife to answer or tell ur pastor now

careytommy7:
Stop picking her calls
Try and avoid her as much as possible
Keep a bland or boneface whenever the two of you are alone
If she asks for any money or favor, tell you don't have or can't create the time.
She will surely get the message because she is manipulating your kindhearted nature to be get things from you and she made it clear to you while you were single that she abhors you so why should you waste your time and resources on her?
If you are looking for who to help, it should never be somebody like her and trust me she will try to ruin your name in the church in future so the earlier you cease all forms of interaction with her, the better

some men just don't know when to start and pause.

MissRaine69:

Maybe he secretly likes this
Makes no ounce of sense to me

hmmmmm hw will it make sense to u because u women re born to go after food dat is ready