Charris2284:
I stated 'was' because at the time of finding this out, I was so angry that I wanted nothing to do with him. I am all over his facebook and it states we are in a relationship. I also made him change his profile pic on Instagram and Whatsapp. But...who wants to constantly think if their partner is cheating on them? He wont even admit that he was. He said all of those conversations were simply of a "joking" nature.

QueenSuccubus:



That is a nature of a cheater.. Everything on them is juz a joke & will keep begging how sorry they are...

And the worse, these bitches he's flirting with don't give a fuccck as well..Ur booboo must be acting like a big Boi in Ng that's why these sleazy hoes are craving for him..

Charris2284:
I stated 'was' because at the time of finding this out, I was so angry that I wanted nothing to do with him. I am all over his facebook and it states we are in a relationship. I also made him change his profile pic on Instagram and Whatsapp. But...who wants to constantly think if their partner is cheating on them? He wont even admit that he was. He said all of those conversations were simply of a "joking" nature. So...it stands to reason: why would a young single attractive man without kids, want to initiate a marriage with a slightly older divorced fat woman with 6 kids?

Charris2284:
And just before people say I must be ugly for someone to agree to be in a long distance relationship...im not. Nor am I desperate. He said he was well traveled and would be able to visit soon and obtain a visa.

VampireeM:


Madam you got it all wrong. Here in naija, even if a man professes love for you to the whole world and claims to be committed if he wants to cheat on you in the next hour he will comfortably do so.
I don't have any advice to give cause I don't know your partner asides what you just wrote. IMO, if there is no trust and you keep having doubts about your partner, its better to take a break. I just hope you not a means to an end for him.

DeadRat:
Have You Finished Loving Your White Guys Before Coming To nigeria? Alot Of Nigerians are Scammer, they Will Extort you Dry And Leave You In Depression... The Smart Guys Are Scarce These Days, dumb Ones Everywhere

CsRockefeller:


Wow!! You deserve much better

Charris2284:


He's made it seem that he has never "shown" a woman out before and that it made it official (this happened back in July). He's told me that he isn't using me and its not a sham because I've talked to his mother and that his parents would never approve of such behavior. His parents and siblings no about me and have asked me personally when am I coming so we could plan for the marriage. But I seriously have my doubts now. And when he showed me his screenshot of his Whatsapp (because I know he is talking to women on it)...I noticed his mother's number wasnt even saved. It just showed her number. Idk. Id be saving my moms number. Just weird. The whole thing is weird and a year of my life has been invested in this.

He doesnt work. I mean...he says hes an entrepreneur. Whatever he means by that. But he doesnt make much because about once a month...sometimes more sometimes less, he will ask if I can send some money and then claim to hate to ask me for it. He says we are engaged but never bought me a ring.

Im just...mad at myself. Because my gut is never wrong. Women have an incredible sense of intuition....

DeadRat:
You Even Send Him Money. Smh... Keep Waiting, he Will Arrive In America Soon maybe 2003

VampireeM:


wow. Its possible he is a scammer and you just a means to an end. It would surprise you on how many social media accounts he has with diff names and telling same pathetic tales to other lonely white women out there he can take advantage of. Its so glaring you been used and he is taking advantage of you by showering you fake attention and sweet words/lies.

Charris2284:


I wasnt lonely though? I think he assumed I was because of my size. He does have 2 FB accounts of the same name. Ive seen his passport. Ive talked over the phone to his mother. Ive seen him on video. I dont think he is lying about his identity. But I do think he is cheating and possibly using me.

Charris2284:


I know he actually did apply and interviewed to get a visa. I saw the paperwork they sent to him. I saw pictures of him in the office in I think it was Lagos. Maybe Abuja. Cant remember but he had to fly there for the interview. He was denied by the consular.

DeadRat:
Chill Miss! I Didnt Mean To Break Your Heart With My Words. There Are Good Men Every Where, you Probably Just Finding The Bad Ones... You Are Not The First And Wouldnt Be The Last. There Are Great Men In Your Country As Well As over... With Africans You Never Be 100% certain but We Must Take The Risk. Just Play Smart. Dont Send Money Like Santa; once You Do That You're on The Loosing side

VampireeM:


its not about being fat, slim, short etc but the fact that you are vulnerable. All those can be faked! Maybe he is not lying about his identity that doesn't mean he is committed to you as you are to him. The distance is much and so don't expect commitment. I am wondering why you defending him even when your instincts are giving you clues.

DeadRat:
Yahoo Boys Get Smarter Every Fvckin Day. You're Beautiful Doesnt Attract Pity. You're Fat And Need A Man Doesnt Attract Pity. You Say You Aint lonely; if You Have Enough Men In Your Friend Zone I'm Quite Sure You Wouldnt have Much Time For This Nigga

CaptainJeffry:
Be careful ma'am, your boy may be a love scammer. Stop sending him money for a long time and watch his reaction closely.

Charris2284:


He's made it seem that he has never "shown" a woman out before and that it made it official (this happened back in July). He's told me that he isn't using me and its not a sham because I've talked to his mother and that his parents would never approve of such behavior. His parents and siblings no about me and have asked me personally when am I coming so we could plan for the marriage. But I seriously have my doubts now. And when he showed me his screenshot of his Whatsapp (because I know he is talking to women on it)...I noticed his mother's number wasnt even saved. It just showed her number. Idk. Id be saving my moms number. Just weird. The whole thing is weird and a year of my life has been invested in this.

He doesnt work. I mean...he says hes an entrepreneur. Whatever he means by that. But he doesnt make much because about once a month...sometimes more sometimes less, he will ask if I can send some money and then claim to hate to ask me for it. He says we are engaged but never bought me a ring.

Im just...mad at myself. Because my gut is never wrong. Women have an incredible sense of intuition....

linearity:


You better cut your loses....

You are even suspicious if the person you spoke with is her mom...even if the individual is her mom and you have also spoken with his father and all his siblings, that is not a guaranteed against cheating.

If he want to still cheat, he will do it, even openly in front of his parents and siblings and they will not tell you of it. They have a tighter bond with him than you and as such, they will flow more with him. Plus Nigeria tolerants polygamy and cheating, and in some quarters, it is not a big deal.

In my local tribe in Nigeria, there is an adage aka proverbs when roughly translated into English goes like this...”sticking to only one pussy kills the penis”.

Now, not all Nigeria men are cheat. But, you have confirmed that, your guy was a cheat, especially when he was in college, that he is handsome, he knows his way around women, flirts with them easily and both of you are in a long distant relationship for more than or about one year...Girl! You don’t need a crystal ball to know that he is cheating.

Despite your insistence; it appear that you see your ‘weight’ as a negative. You mentioned your weight and kids several times as a potential negatives compare to the positives on the guy’s end and am certain that you must have found out that, these are areas of friction in your relationship with him. What I don’t get is, why you are hoping that, against all odds, that this will somehow automatically work out.

Though you said you are not desperate, but the rate at which you are ignoring these tell tale signs smacks on desperation. Plus, you have settled into the belief that, you guys are engage, but you have no ring to show for it and you are the one supporting this guy. You don’t even know what he does for a living and yet, you want to marry him.Agreed, you have invested a lot of time and cash on this relationship...but, a bad investment does not automatically turn into a good one, if one continue to invest, the best outcome is to cut your loses and take a hike.