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Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! - Romance - Nairaland

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Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 10:46pm On Mar 18, 2018
If He Doesn't Have These 6 Qualities, He's Not Husband Material



Don't say "I do" until he proves he's ready.


Many women come to my email box asking for advice about their relationships, including questions about whether their partner has the qualities and characteristics needed to become a "successful husband."



This is clearly not a scientific question, as each individual has different taste, values, priorities and preferences. However, there are general qualities that make a man more appealing and desirable as a husband and more successful as a life partner. Here are seven qualities you should look for in a man before ever deciding to marry him.



1. He shares important core values with you

Values are those ‘rules of life’ that inherently guide the way you live your life. They're deeply rooted in personal beliefs that are fundamental to who you are. They're also very difficult to change.


Connecting on a spiritual, emotional and value level with a man you wish to marry is a key indicator for long-term marital success. When you and your partner know that you are on the "same page," you'll feel more confident that he's truly the man you want to marry.



When you both think ahead into the marriage and know you can respect each other’s perspective on important marital issues (such as family dynamics, child rearing, finance, in-laws, roles and responsibilities), you know you're making the right choice.



2. He's emotionally mature


A responsible, emotionally intelligent man who can control his impulses shows true maturity. As such, he likely has the capacity to deal with the change, disappointment, stress and conflict that life (and marriage) invariably bring.



A well-grounded man with a sense of balance can confront life and face ups (and especially downs) in a constructive way while remaining a resilient, supportive and engaging partner. Look for a man who can respond to a challenging issue responsibly, rather than react to it impulsively.


3. He appreciates you and accepts your shortcomings


The old saying "Happy wife, happy life!" is true and valid (and, it goes both ways, too ... "happy spouse" equals "happy house"wink.


Appreciation goes a long way when creating a happy relationship. In fact, feeling appreciated is a primary quality of happy life. If you don’t feel appreciated or loved by your man, you're paddling into dangerous waters. But when he openly demonstrates his respect and appreciation for you (with his words and actions), you know you'll live a happy life with your man.


That said, while he appreciate your qualities (good cook, caring, social, engaged, supportive etc.), he should also accept your shortcoming (little messy, not so organized, talking a bit too much, not being on time etc.). He must deeply recognize and accept that no one is perfect (including him). His overall view of you should be positive.




4. He manages conflict well


Arguments, disagreements, and conflict are not only unavoidable parts of any relationship, but also are necessary ingredients to forming a strong, lasting intimacy.


Many couples communicate in a destructive way that leads to frustration, anger, and disconnection. Many other couples avoid having meaningful discussions at all to avoid fighting. But, healthy communication is the basis of any successful relationship.


One of the most important factors that helps couples thrive is their ability to deal with different conflicts, manage difficult emotions (such disappointment, frustration and anger), de-escalate arguments, and disagree with respect.


A man who shares his thoughts and feelings with you without reservation; a man who talks things out with you; a man who discuss difficult subjects with you and can disagree yet still come to some kind a resolution is a man who has healthy communication skills and will make a great husband.



5. He is trustworthy


Trust is another key foundation of an intimate relationship. Yet, it's important to understand that being trustworthy is a proactive role that requires a conscious effort, affirmed continuously by decision and actions.


When your man does what he is says; when your partner does not lie; when your spouse acts assertively and, most importantly, he's consistent with these positive qualities, then you know that your man is dependable and he will become a husband you can trust.



6. He makes your relationship a priority

A frequent complaint I hear from women in my counseling practice is: "I don’t think he cares about me or the relationship." Or, "He stays at work long hours or he prefers to spend time with his friends rather than with me."


Often, couples find themselves dealing with the daily routine and necessities of life only to find they're living parallel lives separated by a wide rift. They feel totally disconnected from each other.


To avoid this, couples must create positive shared experiences in order to still face the mundane, create nice memories and have something to look forward to.


Any man you someday marry should realize that relationships requires a commitment and constant effort/investment. It's important for a man not to neglect his woman. He can show interest in her life, plan a date nights, and create common interests and shared activities. When your man acts in that manner, you know you have the right partner.

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by biacan(f): 11:00pm On Mar 18, 2018
This is so sweet kiss

1 Like

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 11:02pm On Mar 18, 2018
well,......i will never be any man's suya........


And i pray all the innocent girls out there wont also be barbeque .



pdqm

1 Like

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 11:06pm On Mar 18, 2018
biacan:
This is so sweet kiss
thank you, add me up let talk
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 11:07pm On Mar 18, 2018
hajoke2000:
well,......i will never be any man's suya........



And i pray all the innocent girls out there wont also be barbeque .




pdqm

gringrin
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Homeboiy: 11:17pm On Mar 18, 2018
It's like this guy has graduated from ass licking undecided
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by TheUpsetGirl1(m): 1:45am On Mar 19, 2018
this dude is always creating useless threads.. must he be ready before he says; I do? what if I have cash to sponsor everything? this is one of the reasons why we ladies need to strive to be independent


you're over doing it
freedom of speech doesn't mean you should say stupid things.

2 Likes

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 4:40am On Mar 19, 2018
Homeboiy:
It's like this guy has graduated from ass licking undecided

cheesy Graduated to what then? cheesy
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by ubunja(m): 4:42am On Mar 19, 2018
TheUpsetGirl1:
this dude is always creating useless threads.. must he be ready before he says; I do? what if I have cash to sponsor everything? this is one of the reasons why we ladies need to strive to be independent


you're over doing it

freedom of speech doesn't mean you should say stupid things.
you said it all

1 Like

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 6:35am On Mar 19, 2018
TheUpsetGirl1:
this dude is always creating useless threads.. must he be ready before he says; I do? what if I have cash to sponsor everything? this is one of the reasons why we ladies need to strive to be independent


you're over doing it
freedom of speech doesn't mean you should say stupid things.

sorry to ask how old are you?
am just 10grin

it seems you don't understand the topic,

dammmm Nigeriansgrin

1 Like

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 9:01am On Mar 19, 2018
Homeboiy:
It's like this guy has graduated from ass licking undecided
it's impossible. A pig can never be a cat
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 9:06am On Mar 19, 2018
Bro which day will you create a thread that caters for the needs of men in a relationship for a change

All you write is

What women wants
Don't tell him I do
How to spot a man
And so on

Anyways, not my business
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Missnande(f): 3:26pm On Mar 20, 2018
Insightful
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 3:45pm On Mar 20, 2018
Missnande:
Insightful
thanks
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 3:48pm On Mar 20, 2018
Martin0:



Martin0 like someone asked earlier, which day are you ever going to create a thread geared towards the men? Why are your threads always for women? I really find this puzzling for a man undecided
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by roarik(f): 4:02pm On Mar 20, 2018
interesting wink
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 4:09pm On Mar 20, 2018
Is that so
Missnande:
Insightful

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by pongwa(m): 6:24pm On Mar 20, 2018
Martin0:





If He Doesn't Have These 6 Qualities, He's Not Husband Material



Don't say "I do" until he proves he's ready.


Many women come to my email box asking for advice about their relationships, including questions about whether their partner has the qualities and characteristics needed to become a "successful husband."



This is clearly not a scientific question, as each individual has different taste, values, priorities and preferences. However, there are general qualities that make a man more appealing and desirable as a husband and more successful as a life partner. Here are seven qualities you should look for in a man before ever deciding to marry him.



1. He shares important core values with you

Values are those ‘rules of life’ that inherently guide the way you live your life. They're deeply rooted in personal beliefs that are fundamental to who you are. They're also very difficult to change.


Connecting on a spiritual, emotional and value level with a man you wish to marry is a key indicator for long-term marital success. When you and your partner know that you are on the "same page," you'll feel more confident that he's truly the man you want to marry.



When you both think ahead into the marriage and know you can respect each other’s perspective on important marital issues (such as family dynamics, child rearing, finance, in-laws, roles and responsibilities), you know you're making the right choice.



2. He's emotionally mature


A responsible, emotionally intelligent man who can control his impulses shows true maturity. As such, he likely has the capacity to deal with the change, disappointment, stress and conflict that life (and marriage) invariably bring.



A well-grounded man with a sense of balance can confront life and face ups (and especially downs) in a constructive way while remaining a resilient, supportive and engaging partner. Look for a man who can respond to a challenging issue responsibly, rather than react to it impulsively.


3. He appreciates you and accepts your shortcomings


The old saying "Happy wife, happy life!" is true and valid (and, it goes both ways, too ... "happy spouse" equals "happy house"wink.


Appreciation goes a long way when creating a happy relationship. In fact, feeling appreciated is a primary quality of happy life. If you don’t feel appreciated or loved by your man, you're paddling into dangerous waters. But when he openly demonstrates his respect and appreciation for you (with his words and actions), you know you'll live a happy life with your man.


That said, while he appreciate your qualities (good cook, caring, social, engaged, supportive etc.), he should also accept your shortcoming (little messy, not so organized, talking a bit too much, not being on time etc.). He must deeply recognize and accept that no one is perfect (including him). His overall view of you should be positive.




4. He manages conflict well


Arguments, disagreements, and conflict are not only unavoidable parts of any relationship, but also are necessary ingredients to forming a strong, lasting intimacy.


Many couples communicate in a destructive way that leads to frustration, anger, and disconnection. Many other couples avoid having meaningful discussions at all to avoid fighting. But, healthy communication is the basis of any successful relationship.


One of the most important factors that helps couples thrive is their ability to deal with different conflicts, manage difficult emotions (such disappointment, frustration and anger), de-escalate arguments, and disagree with respect.


A man who shares his thoughts and feelings with you without reservation; a man who talks things out with you; a man who discuss difficult subjects with you and can disagree yet still come to some kind a resolution is a man who has healthy communication skills and will make a great husband.



5. He is trustworthy


Trust is another key foundation of an intimate relationship. Yet, it's important to understand that being trustworthy is a proactive role that requires a conscious effort, affirmed continuously by decision and actions.


When your man does what he is says; when your partner does not lie; when your spouse acts assertively and, most importantly, he's consistent with these positive qualities, then you know that your man is dependable and he will become a husband you can trust.



6. He makes your relationship a priority

A frequent complaint I hear from women in my counseling practice is: "I don’t think he cares about me or the relationship." Or, "He stays at work long hours or he prefers to spend time with his friends rather than with me."


Often, couples find themselves dealing with the daily routine and necessities of life only to find they're living parallel lives separated by a wide rift. They feel totally disconnected from each other.


To avoid this, couples must create positive shared experiences in order to still face the mundane, create nice memories and have something to look forward to.


Any man you someday marry should realize that relationships requires a commitment and constant effort/investment. It's important for a man not to neglect his woman. He can show interest in her life, plan a date nights, and create common interests and shared activities. When your man acts in that manner, you know you have the right partner.



bullshit.....na why some people never marry be dis. he must have these qualities, she must have these qualities
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Oyindidi(f): 6:32pm On Mar 20, 2018
biacan:
This is so sweet kiss
Martin0 get a ring
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Missnande(f): 6:37pm On Mar 20, 2018
DonPiiko:
Is that so
Smiles... kindly do not fight me.
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Preshy561(f): 6:41pm On Mar 20, 2018
this is nice marty.
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 6:46pm On Mar 20, 2018
Oyindidi:
Martin0 get a ring
madam ring is not the problem biko
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 6:47pm On Mar 20, 2018
Preshy561:
this is nice marty.
hay queen thank yougrin
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Preshy561(f): 6:50pm On Mar 20, 2018
Martin0:

hay queen thank yougrin
yeah.welcome.
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Oyindidi(f): 6:50pm On Mar 20, 2018
Martin0:


madam ring is not the problem biko
grin
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 6:55pm On Mar 20, 2018
Fine girl take kiss kiss
Preshy561:
this is nice marty.
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Martin0(m): 6:55pm On Mar 20, 2018
Preshy561:
yeah.welcome.
grin
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Nobody: 6:56pm On Mar 20, 2018
Lool not possible, how do you do
Missnande:


Smiles... kindly do not fight me.
Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Preshy561(f): 6:57pm On Mar 20, 2018
DonPiiko:
Fine girl take kiss kiss
kiss not enough,my fanta and coke too cheesy
thanks dear

1 Like

Re: Don't Say "I Do" Until He Proves He's Ready !!! by Missnande(f): 9:41pm On Mar 20, 2018
DonPiiko:
Lool not possible, how do you do
Cool thanks!

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