i am engaged to a man and he is living in lagos and i am in port. he calls regularly before and now he does not call regularly again and if i call to ask he assures me that he still loves me it is just that he is busy. i am scared that he might be keeping another woman there what do i do

Dear Ijay,what belongs to you no one can take so plssssssssssss,Be strong and believe God for the best,its better u got to find out while u r not yet married,what of if u were married?Relax Girl God is in control in your life.Stuffs like that happen but the way u handle it.Just Get up and get going,u r 2 beautiful to messed up,to wonderful 2 b dumped.Its all ur choice.

All 4rm me pam

Dont just jump to the worst possible conclusion. Where is the trust? Maybe the cost of daily phonecalls has become prohibitive. Talk to him about finances and how life is going generally. Find out how things are. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help.

Your actions should show him how much you care. If he cold shoulders you then, maybe it is time to start thinking twice.

If he wants to leave, only he can change his mind so dont get all anxious. Take a step back and take stock of things.

.dear ijay, don't be disturb at all if God says he's yours no matter the distance he will definitely be yours, I'm facing dsame problem too, I'm in Abuja my boy friend is in Lagos, it is when they're messing up that diff guys will be disturbing you, GUYZ DON'T APPRECIATE WHAT THEY HAVE UNTIL THEY LOSE IT.
so don't be disturb, be prayerful.

@ ijayc
hey galfrnd dnt jump in2 conclusions yet, BBBUUUUTTTTT be alert cos these men r full of surprises

So one person matter don turn into "guyz" and "these men", eh?   Address the matter at hand.  Sometimes we have to look at ourselves when relationships get difficult. That applies to both guys and girls.

hello girl,  i quite understand your plight.  however, it is possible your fiance does not know the effect those calls were having on your (reassurance, care, etc) cos you never bothered to tell him.  so go ahead and let him know how you feel.  Even if its just to call and say hi and hear your voice, it goes a long way.  

secondly, make it a point of duty too, to call him and ask about his welfare on so on.  look dear, love is reciprocal.  there's a way you will show love and care that he'll be uncomfortable with anyone else.  dont wait for him to do the caring and loving alone.

its well with you.  cheer up!

i don't know why "we",girls jump into conclusion.the guy might be under some pressure, so,cutie,give him time.
Call him too,if u don't hear from ur guy for a while,call him and ask him why he hasn't called u,his response will let u know the next point of action.
Relax,it is well.

Bla bla bla bla bla. . . Sickening!
GURLZ DON'T APPRECIATE WHAT THEY HAVE UNTIL THEY LOSE IT TOO.

ijayc:

i am engaged to a man and he is living in lagos and i am in port. he calls regularly before and now he does not call regularly again and if i call to ask he assures me that he still loves me it is just that he is busy. i am scared that he might be keeping another woman there what do i do

How regularly have u been callin him too? There'r so many gurlz these days who take nice guys' niceness for granted.

I had a gurl whom I called every other day. She never calls except when she needed one thing or the other. Even to use then Vmobile's 12 free sms and later Celtel's 6 free sms to text me is a problem for her. I send her recharge cards sometimes, only to call her after several minutes or hours to confirm if she got the cards.

Of course, I stopped calling her regularly until I stopped calling her at all until I completely left her pathetic ass full of baggage, even when she was still hoping she still had a [i]mugu [/i]in her grillz. I've remained single since then, so I didn't stop calling her because I was seeing another gurl, but because I realised I just don't need some people and the drama they bring with them.

If he doesn't call regularly [/b]anymore, may be it's your turn to start calling [b]regularly, not that he's seeing another gurl (which is possible, though, but not likely except if u've not been doing ur own part well in the relationship for a long time).

Of course, I stopped calling her regularly until I stopped calling her at all until I completely [/b]anymore, may be it's your turn to start calling regularly, not that he's seeing another girl (which is possible, though, but not likely except if u've not been doing your own part well in the relationship for a long time).
[quote][/quote]

@ Douzy,

Pardon me,but what would be her part? Cld u enlighten me.

ma dear, like alot of guys said , dont jump into conclusions yet,though i know how u feel now, bt call him, find out if everythin is ok,he's ur man so u shd be able to tell when sometin is wrong! wish u all d best.

Seun I think you should let her understand that discusions of this sort are not done on jobs board.I 've been following trends on this  site and i noticed that people post threads anywhere they like.Please let us be co-ordinated and post our threads where they'll  make sense

You girls and love sef. The guy migth be busy girl. dont panic.

Don't jump to conclusions dear.He might actually be facing pressures at work.
Now is d time to show how much u care 4 him.call him encourage n tell him u miss him,his calls and all such stuffs.i'm sure you no wat i mean.dont av d defeatist attitude.all d best

lost my girl due to distance as well,i was  doing all the calling then.it's never easy to keep such a relationship on the same level as compared to staying within a cab's reach.

The real issue is these,how often have you been calling him as well,have u been soooooooo demanding (financially or otherwise) of recent and do u really make him feel like he's gonna take d next flight jus to see you

Do really search urself first, if u're in them right or wrong, then face him squarely with the issue and u're feelings and if it's still the same,then my sister ,wash ya faze,apply some make-up and another brother will soon be around to help ye move ahead.

jehova bu'eze

thank you for your advice and encouragement i appreciate all the sugestions and thanks once more

ifedee:
@ Douzy,

Pardon me,but what would be her part? Cld u enlighten me.

Someone up there mentioned that love is reciprocal. Some gurls would just sit there and let the guys take all the initiatives until they (the guys) run out of creativity.

If he calls regularly, reciprocate as much as is within your capacities. Even if you can't call as often as he does, always let him know that you appreciate those calls he makes, before he thinks you're taking the calls for granted (which is one of the fastest reasons for him to stop calling u as often). Some gurlz don't even seem to realise how much their guyz cherish their text messages. Some guyz even use those text messages to show off to other guyz.

. . . and please, when a guy calls you, don't start asking him why he hadn't called in ages or try to pick a fight. Buy your own recharge card and call him if you were so concerned or if you want a fight over the phone.

@ijay
ur fiancee doesnt call you anymore and u think he is seeing somelse , i think that was a harsh conclusion.
i keep wondering why we ladies dont ever trust the guys, TRUST IS A VERY VITAL POINT IN ANY RELATIONSHIP
i think u shuld find time and see him over a weekend or betterstill since he has stopped calling why dont u do the calling. funny enough we females think the guys have to do all the calling, sending recharge cards, buying gifts and all sorts, but we still have our vital role to play, we were called HELP MEET in the holy book, so we shouldnt be too pushy on the guys or else they go look for shelter outside.
and please wen u call, dont shout at him or quarrel over the issue, who knows he might be a little indisposable or even busy.
funny enough he may just want to see if u will call him or not, so girlie, pick up ur fone and call ur hearthrob.

i thot this thread was directed at me when i saw the topic, I fear   

douzy man,i thinkyou are on point there. i mean why the heck do we always have to be the ones doin the calling, showing more concern, and all that jazz. we really do need to catch a break sometime else we get frustrated out of the relationship. Ladies, please stop the head-games and lets work at making it worth thewhile-Love!

Well, i believe so much in a joint effort approach. do something to help ur guy, and trust in him.

if he's keeping another girlfriend,thats no news.men will always keep other girls by the side and so do most women.look for a spare guy to attend to your needs thus you'll not miss this current guy so much

@strong_arm
Thanks.

@walelead
Why u come dey fear na? Lol!

@bennygee
What a first post!

Bros Douzy, i have reasons to fear

That's some serious shyt then. You think she's up to something?

at douzy, i concur with u a 100%

@nkc
Thanx.

You might be right,

He's having some extra-relationship affair

perhaps he's not.

How do you know?

Have a eye to eye, heart to heart talk with him

Or believe yourself and just take a walk

Hope for the best and be prepared for the worst !!

When a man loves a woman, it's not difficult to know. If a woman loves a man, she'd shout it out.
If all was well, trust me, he'd still call you often, even after a difficult day.
But then again do you call him too? When you do, is he in a hurry to leave?

I'd be suspicious.

pls nairalanders when did this one start this a site 2 search 4 job and not some unreasonable thing like love my friend leave love and let talk about how to move our life forward in this present NIG.if u have ur job then love comes in all forms and shape

i jay hw far , haba he dey c another gal now , u dont knw, we met in d club dis weekend and he introduced a gal 2 me as his fiance nd guess wat it wasnt you!!! any ways i just thot i told u 2 start looking esle where cuz apparently u dont trust him , wait wat even happened 2 ur phone? or sorry 4got ure allergic to calling