Muna5:


I think you should try reconciliation first if you truly want to restore your marriage.

Show me a man that treats his wife rightly and I will show you a woman that obeys her husband sheeply.

Hmm quite deep, but I've seen women who take such men for granted, so I'll treat this with a pinch of salt

Please I want matured,sensible,relevant ideas not secondary school stupidities.

Atk1nson:


Hmm quite deep, but I've seen women who take such men for granted, so I'll treat this with a pinch of salt

Smart stuffs from Pipedreams,Atk1nson,Muna,Ishilove.Really smart.Thank you.

kay50,what do you think?

Please bring your A game.This is an advanced thread,not for basic school students.

coolcatty:



You are baby...I have been through more shiiit than u can ever imagine .....so when people like me talk babies like you should sit down with a jitter and pen and take notes.

You are gloating over a woman that has obviously moved on....opening thread upon threads to elicit sympathy. ....things don't work that way.....for you to stay 4 whole months alone without your wife finding a way to reach out to you and massage your lousy ego means that you have no game whatsoever. ....you are also gamelesss if you have not mastered or gotten the emotional strength to move on after 4months.


Humble yourself and learn.....seek advise and learn from people around you. ....no man with lovely character, charming do charisma files for a divorce first.....he would have moved on tey tey and will hardly remember he once had a wife......see the way that actress mimi was shouting all over social media begging her estranged husband to come and collect his brideprice. ...that's how real men behave. ....you ignore and move on...let nature take its cause.




Please advise the man-boy with a loud mouth.

You're too low to be sane.

Btw,why is my thread so important to you to find self expression if you're so accomplished? You need to choose one from the options as you're still in JSS 2:
A.you're lonely,so you come online to troll.
B.you're dull and ignorant of it.
C.you're a girl,not a man.

Go and deceive your kind.

I have a respectable occupation and come on nairaland for matured sense,not your senseless drivel.

FYI,I don't take advice from imbeciles.

EgunMogaji made sense 2 days ago without conceitedness like coolp****.

You can tell his inferiority complex straight up.

doreto:
Pipedreams,when you say it like this,it makes better sense.You're obviously a smart man.I knew this before now,just trying to share the knowledge.

No mind that moniker coolcatty.The guy does not have any sense.That coolcatty one was insulting nonsense to me.
Coolcatty seems dull ,cannot express himself intelligently,with extremely morose posts as if he's still in secondary school.

No bro. Coolcatty has given me meaningful advise that i followed with all seriousness. He doesnt hide the raw truth, he does not pity or mince words. He's a wise man bro

Honestly I feel for you and I truely understand what you are passing through. I am facing the same issue as you. My wife left me 3 years ago with my 2 kids. We have been having serious problems with the marriage. Very high headed woman, Not submissive, a big time gossiper, liar and a back stabber. But then I have moved on and I haven't seek for divorce yet. Some Women are meant to let go finally. Just move on bro if you can get her divorced go ahead in most cases reconciliation won't work. In my own case reconciliation failed. Thank God I have moved on and I have cut my loss. But am still take responsible for my 2 kids.

doreto:
kay50,what do you think?

Please bring your A game.This is an advanced thread,not for basic school students.

doreto:
kay50,what do you think?

Please bring your A game.This is an advanced thread,not for basic school students.

doreto:
Another nonsense. I won't allow a slowpoke like you kill my thread.
Look at this useless non-entity.
Feeling relevant as if I even know him.Guy,you're faceless and I believe you're a jobless secondary school student on midterm break.You don't know me.So when you come online,go to the threads for video games.

doreto:
Another nonsense. I won't allow a slowpoke like you kill my thread.
Look at this useless non-entity.
Feeling relevant as if I even know him.Guy,you're faceless and I believe you're a jobless secondary school student on midterm break.You don't know me.So when you come online,go to the threads for video games.

Nigggah learn how to control your emotions ooo....you will lose big time and pay better money to your ex wife if you go to court with this kind of emotional imbalance....all you do is hurl invectives...man child.


Dull thing...who cares whether you are relevant or not?

kay50:
Honestly I feel for you and I truely understand what you are passing through. I am facing the same issue as you. My wife left me 3 years ago with my 2 kids. We have been having serious problems with the marriage. Very high headed woman, Not submissive, a big time gossiper, liar and a back stabber. But then I have moved on and I haven't seek for divorce yet. Some Women are meant to let go finally. Just move on bro if you can get her divorced go ahead in most cases reconciliation won't work. In my own case reconciliation failed. Thank God I have moved on and I have cut my loss. But am still take responsible for my 2 kids.

God bless you man.....leave that proud high headed doreto.

The guy is obviously frustrated. ..has a very big for nothing ego. ...he is angry with the world and doesn't want to take advise....he is looking for who to massage his ego....

He has no game....a man with game would have counted his losses by now and moved on....but no...dead nigggah wants to show his ex wife that he is done....a woman that is so far gone...and woman that has moved on sef. .that's who this doreto Guy wants to show pepper.

Smh....

doreto:


No mind that moniker coolcatty.The guy does not have any sense.That coolcatty one was insulting nonsense to me.
Coolcatty seems dull ,cannot express himself intelligently,with extremely morose posts as if he's still in secondary school.

doreto:
You're too low to be sane.

Btw,why is my thread so important to you to find self expression if you're so accomplished? Go and deceive your kind.

I have a respectable occupation and come on nairaland for matured sense,not your senseless drivel.

FYI,I don't take advice from imbeciles.

All these insults over what?
You really need to calm down. Nobody is against you here.
After the initial gragra, reality will set in.
Its not so hard to get a real life divorce lawyer for legal advice. NL may not be the best place to get proper extensive legal advice.
It wouldnt amount to much anyway, as they won't file your motion online for you, so you need a physical lawyer
That may be the best thing for you to do if you really mean business.
To get a lawyer, why not discuss with the lawyer representing the company you work for to refer you to a divorce lawyer? That's how to set things in motion, get the ball rolling.

And the coolcatty nonsense continues...

I will not give you relevance and I know it's painful to your low ego.

You are asking for lawyers, I am not a lawyer so you can dismiss my post.

I told you earlier to forget about reconciliation. I hope you didn't waste too much time pursuing that lost cause.

You should file quickly to get shyte all over and especially since you have no children to worry about. You can always marry her again if need be. I had a coworker that married his EX twice.

eyinjuege:




All these insults over what?
You really need to calm down. Nobody is against you here.
After the initial gragra, reality will set in.
Its not so hard to get a real life divorce lawyer for legal advice. NL may not be the best place to get proper extensive legal advice.
It wouldnt amount to much anyway, as they won't file your motion online for you, so you need a physical lawyer
That may be the best thing for you to do if you really mean business.
To get a lawyer, why not discuss with the lawyer representing the company you work for to refer you to a divorce lawyer? That's how to set things in motion, get the ball rolling.

I can bet with my balls that this guy will never file for divorce.....I also know that he has been begging his ex and her family low key but they have refused. ....I can bet that the guy finds solace on nairaland and is very lonely and bored in real life......nigggah is dying slowly. .....

Real men don't come online to look for lawyers....he just want who will plead with him. .... niggah will never do jack.

doreto:
And the coolcatty nonsense continues...

I will not give you relevance and I know it's painful to your low ego.

Ego keh. ...I know how it feels to beg and yet you were refused....don't worry...you go dey alright last last

EgunMogaji with real,succinct sense has arrived.
Now Pipedreams,this is the advice you should take.

eyinjuege,kay50,pipedreams, thank you for your intelligent posts.

It's time for divorce and EgunMogaji captures it succinctfully once again.And briefly.Brevity is the soul of wit.You don't need so many words like coolcatty if you're smart.

So I go with EgunMogaji totally.His submission aligns with mine.

this woman really dealt with you. She had you on the balls.
You can't let go...never...you are too attached to her emotionally.
Go and get a masters or PhD and use the time to heal before you enter into another relationship.

MrBottle:
this woman really dealt with you. She had you on the balls.
You can't let go...never...you are too attached to her emotionally.
Go and get a masters or PhD and use the time to heal before you enter into another relationship .

I disagree with your submissions.You find all sorts online as in life.

Have fun...
I'm having fun here.
I mean we're both on nairaland.
If I didn't create this topic what would you rather have been doing?
So we're both having fun here.

Muna5:


I think you should try reconciliation first if you truly want to restore your marriage.

Show me a man that treats his wife rightly and I will show you a woman that obeys her husband sheeply.

thank you.

I am sure if my friends should come to my house,they will be surprised at how I obey my husband.that man does everything for me and I am not ready to take that for granted.

Thank you.

coolcatty:


God bless you man.....leave that proud high headed doreto.

The guy is obviously frustrated. ..has a very big for nothing ego. ...he is angry with the world and doesn't want to take advise....he is looking for who to massage his ego....

He has no game....a man with game would have counted his losses by now and moved on....but no...dead nigggah wants to show his ex wife that he is done....a woman that is so far gone...and woman that has moved on sef. .that's who this doreto Guy wants to show pepper.

Smh....

He sounds too familiar, if you've experienced first hand a man who is too high up his horse you would understand. Divorce is not the way forward, what he needs is healing and acceptance. Then work on himself before dating someone else and even if he does it won't hurt if he's picky about it. That aside you should open a marriage counseling blog or something , I'll be your number one fan

Blonchilli:

He sounds too familiar, if you've experienced first hand a man who is too high up his horse you would understand. Divorce is not the way forward, what he needs is healing and acceptance. Then work on himself before dating someone else and even if he does it won't hurt if he's picky about it. That aside you should open a marriage counseling blog or something , I'll be your number one fan

I almost threw up after reading this.

Birds of the same dirty feathers flock together is real.

Blonchilli:

He sounds too familiar, if you've experienced first hand a man who is too high up his horse you would understand. Divorce is not the way forward, what he needs is healing and acceptance. Then work on himself before dating someone else and even if he does it won't hurt if he's picky about it. That aside you should open a marriage counseling blog or something , I'll be your number one fan

Thanks bro.

The doreto Guy is averse to genuine advice. ....we have been there. ..we know people that have been there.....all he needs is humility and we will teach him free of charge how to take charge of his life and even get his ex to start running back to him.....but mba. ..pride is still sharking him.

He will eat the humble pie last last...it's just a matter of time.

coolcatty:


Thanks bro.

The doreto Guy is averse to genuine advice. ....we have been there. ..we know people that have been there.....all he needs is humility and we will teach him free of charge how to take charge of his life and even get his ex to start running back to him.....but mba. ..pride is still sharking him.

He will eat the humble pie last last...it's just a matter of time.

Do you mean he will go back on his knees to his wife and her family and be heavily insulted?

Pipedreams:


Do you mean he will go back on his knees to his wife and her family and be heavily insulted?

Pipedreams,that's never going to happen.He means I'm not humble,that means I'll never beg anyone or go on my knees except to God.
God will win it for me.

This is to coolcatty.If you could just stop with the self righteous insults directed against me,we could be friendly.

But no,he thinks I'm down,so I'm fair game but not so...I'm humble if you know me,I don't just let people take advantage of me.FYI,I've never begged or pleaded or cried over my ex or her family since she left,as you are wont to believe.I haven't even called her once.I know the game.

The reason I'm here is to seek online opinions as well as I talk to experienced people offline,take out the occassional boredom which I believe is perfectly okay in my case.

I don't mind talking to you but step down your insults and arrogance.I don't deal well with arrogant people or know-it-alls as I know for a fact, nobody knows it all and you don't know it all.There are areas I can help you
with too even on this issue.Show some respect,my ex leaving me doesn't define me entirely.

Get the picture of helplessness off your mind as I'm too strong for that.I'll too experienced to be shaken,while this is a new one though.Even though it's a little confusing(I've never experienced it before now),I'm trying to form a strategy from online and offline opinions.If you want to help me with advice,talk as equals,no insults.I don't fear like that,so you can't threaten or scare me.Find a way to refine everything you have written up there before now because you were just assuming lots of things.

Thank you.

OP,
There is nothing like not man or woman enough. Or that marriage is not desirable and baby mama is the way forward. Please do not listen to frustrated men and immature kids. Some people’s actions in their marriage here will shock you if you witness it. They are either terrible husbands and father’s who do not have sense to look inward and change their attitude. Or they are pussy cat to their wife and cannot even attempt to annoy her at home.

You say you are a man, be a man. A man in my opinion usually takes leadership in his home. How a home ends up is usually based on how the man handles his home. You set the tone by being responsible, mature, thoughtful and realistic while showing a lot of care for your family.

Think carefully before you make a final decision. You know your wife better. Make sure that you make this decision before going into another marriage because the next woman will want a court marriage eventually. Court marriage is good as it protects you and your spouse and most especially the children of the union. If something happens to you tomorrow, crazy relatives and even strangers cannot dispossess your family and children of their inheritance.

So many children’s futures have been derailed because their parents died without proof of marriage. Court marriage also gives your children legitimacy if the eyes of the law. Do not deprive them of that right as you possibly enjoyed it. Don’t even entertain the depravity among most of these people who push for sigle parenthood. Don’t be a single parent when there is not serious need for it. It is a senseless and inappropriate way to bring up a child. Except single parenthood came as a result of abusive relationships/marriage and mental incapability.

Always try to do the honorable thing as a man and leave a good legacy and example for your children. Where children are involved and a commitment is involved, never ever take selfish decisions. All selfishness should have been well explored in your youth. Decision to get married is no small matter and you should approach the issues with maturity and responsibility.

The government makes the divorce process that difficult and long so that you can have the time to reconsider your decision. A lot of people regret divorces because they did it out of spite and anger. They later realize that the issues they had was something that could have been resolved and not worth making a permanent decision like divorce. They also end up having the same issues in new marriages because they did not change themselves or they expected too much from their ex. The grass suddenly is not greener.

As long as there is no abuse and, your spouse is mentally sound then you can work at it. Be careful with coming to Nairaland for advice. Go to a competent lawyer if you need advice. I think you should open a diary about everything that happened in the marriage from an unbiased perspective. Read it over and over again and see where you fell short. Don’t bother trying to convince your wife where she was wrong. Do it for yourself so that you can grow from it and do not repeat it in another relationship if you eventually decide to file for divorce.

People regretting divorce decisions:

http://whisper.sh/stories/126c8b07-b383-4dfe-8062-5961bfd3d261/23-Men-Who-Secretly-Regret-Getting-Divorced

https://www.google.com/amp/www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1110281/divorced-couples-biggest-regrets/amp

http://www.stephenhedger.com/relationships/too-many-people-regret-divorcing-once-the-dust-has-settled/#.WtL1AhYpCEc

https://m.news24.com/You/Archive/dont-be-me-and-live-with-regret-a-mans-letter-to-other-men-tempted-to-cheat-20170728-2

doreto:
I almost threw up after reading this.

Birds of the same dirty feathers flock together is real.

Here you are picking fights with everyone. I didn't quote you sir, I believe everyone commenting have their various opinion, it would be mature of you to choose to abide by the way you feel is best for you, not being mean to those who you don't agree with their opinion. Sometimes people have different opinions it doesn't mean they're entirely wrong or you attack their personality.

doreto:
This is to coolcatty.If you could just stop with the self righteous insults directed against me,we could be friendly.

But no,he thinks I'm down,so I'm fair game but not so...I'm humble if you know me,I don't just let people take advantage of me.FYI,I've never begged or pleaded or cried over my ex or her family since she left,as you are wont to believe.I haven't even called her once.I know the game.

The reason I'm here is to seek online opinions as well as I talk to experienced people offline,take out the occassional boredom which I believe is perfectly okay in my case.

I don't mind talking to you but step down your insults and arrogance.I don't deal well with arrogant people or know-it-alls as I know for a fact, nobody knows it all and you don't know it all.There are areas I can help you
with too even on this issue.Show some respect,my ex leaving me doesn't define me entirely.

Get the picture of helplessness off your mind as I'm too strong for that.I'll too experienced to be shaken,while this is a new one though.Even though it's a little confusing(I've never experienced it before now),I'm trying to form a strategy from online and offline opinions).If you want to help me with advice,talk as equals,no insults.I don't fear like that,so you can't threaten or scare me.Find a way to refine everything you have written up there before now because you were just assuming lots of things.

Thank you.

Learn to take responsibility for your actions and stop the blame game. ..that's the first step to maturity. ...you will definitely go far in life if you learn this all important virtue......you started with the insults and name calling yet you blame me...take the blame for once....

I wish u luck mehn.....most successful men have gone through what you are currently going through. ...it's not new.....use this period to do some soul searching. ...work on yourself and emotions......but please no matter what may.....NEVER you go to beg your ex and her family......there is no dignity in begging. ...you should be open to counselling and dialogue but please no begging ...like I said...it's better to be seen as a wicked man than as a weak man.....

And NEVER ever be the one to file for divorce first.....let it go....live your life the way you want it.....it's pertinent you get a woman that will distract you from all these wahala....that way you will forget all these and move all.


All the best doreto. ....you will definitely survive this.

baby124:
OP,
There is nothing like not man or woman enough. Or that marriage is not desirable and baby mama is the way forward. Please do not listen to frustrated men and immature kids. Some people’s actions in their marriage here will shock you if you witness it. They are either terrible husbands and father’s who do not have sense to look inward and change their attitude. Or they are pussy cat to their wife and cannot even attempt to annoy her at home.

You say you are a man, be a man. A man in my opinion usually takes leadership in his home. How a home ends up is usually based on how the man handles his home. You set the tone by being responsible, mature, thoughtful and realistic while showing a lot of care for your family.

Think carefully before you make a final decision. You know your wife better. Make sure that you make this decision before going into another marriage because the next woman will want a court marriage eventually. Court marriage is good as it protects you and your spouse and most especially the children of the union. If something happens to you tomorrow, crazy relatives and even strangers cannot dispossess your family and children of their inheritance.

So many children’s futures have been derailed because their parents died without proof of marriage. Court marriage also gives your children legitimacy if the eyes of the law. Do not deprive them of that right as you possibly enjoyed it. Don’t even entertain the depravity among most of these people who push for sigle parenthood. Don’t be a single parent when there is not serious need for it. It is a senseless and inappropriate way to bring up a child. Except single parenthood came as a result of abusive relationships/marriage and mental incapability.

Always try to do the honorable thing as a man and leave a good legacy and example for your children. Where children are involved and a commitment is involved, never ever take selfish decisions. All selfishness should have been well explored in your youth. Decision to get married is no small matter and you should approach the issues with maturity and responsibility.

The government makes the divorce process that difficult and long so that you can have the time to reconsider your decision. A lot of people regret divorces because they did it out of spite and anger. They later realize that the issues they had was something that could have been resolved and not worth making a permanent decision like divorce. They also end up having the same issues in new marriages because they did not change themselves or they expected too much from their ex. The grass suddenly is not greener.

As long as there is no abuse and, your spouse is mentally sound then you can work at it. Be careful with coming to Nairaland for advice. Go to a competent lawyer if you need advice. I think you should open a diary about everything that happened in the marriage from an unbiased perspective. Read it over and over again and see where you fell short. Don’t bother trying to convince your wife where she was wrong. Do it for yourself so that you can grow from it and do not repeat it in another relationship if you eventually decide to file for divorce.

People regretting divorce decisions:

http://whisper.sh/stories/126c8b07-b383-4dfe-8062-5961bfd3d261/23-Men-Who-Secretly-Regret-Getting-Divorced

https://www.google.com/amp/www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1110281/divorced-couples-biggest-regrets/amp

http://www.stephenhedger.com/relationships/too-many-people-regret-divorcing-once-the-dust-has-settled/#.WtL1AhYpCEc

https://m.news24.com/You/Archive/dont-be-me-and-live-with-regret-a-mans-letter-to-other-men-tempted-to-cheat-20170728-2

I love your words and advice.I'll certainly take them.

coolcatty:


I wish u luck mehn.....most successful men have gone through what you are currently going through. ...it's not new.....use this period to do some soul searching. ...work on yourself and emotions......but please no matter what may.....NEVER you go to beg your ex and her family......there is no dignity in begging. ...you should be open to counselling and dialogue but please no begging ...like I said...it's better to be seen as a wicked man than as a weak man.....

And NEVER ever be the one to file for divorce first.....let it go....live your life the way you want it.....it's pertinent you get a woman that will distract you from all these wahala....that way you will forget all these and move all.


All the best doreto. ....you will definitely survive this.

Thank you,coolcatty.Your tone is now superb,I understand you perfectly.
Begging was never an option.You know that manly pride.My ex was and is beautiful,I chose from a long list because I know my worth and value my dignity.It didn't survive but I can move on with my head held high and my shoulders back.
The next woman is surely going to be a bombshell as well.I can't settle.

Things I read here in family section is really depressing. I know marriage and even life in general isn't a bed of roses, but you seldom see posts concerning good marriages and it is becoming scary. Many marriages barely last a year now... Hmmm. Op I am not married so I can't really advice you but I wish you the best in what ever decision you make.