You messed up big time, no matter how beautiful your girlfriend is, don't hail her too much, she will start misbehaving.

Telling her you know every man want her is total and arrant nonsense, she's not the most beautiful girl in Nigeria, this young ladies when hailed too much misbehave because it gets into their head.

Am not saying, you shouldn't appreciate her, but pretend as if you have dated more beautiful ladies before and she's just like the normal beautiful ones you have dated in time past, don't let her know that she's the best thing to happen after slice bread.

Now, since you have messed up, pretend as if nothing is happening and be busy with yourself, don't look at her profile pictures or whatsapp status, hangout and have up, upload pictures and funny videos, she will call you if she really cares.

Don't pick up till after 2 days when she finally calls, tell her you are the head and deserve some respect, if she doesn't call, forget her and move on, there are millions of beautiful ladies in Nigeria to choose from

pocohantas:
Nothing wrong in what you said.
But the timing!!!

When you address issues with anger, you tend to use the wrong words. The listening party is also very defensive at the point.
So, you both end up worsening things if care isn't taken.

After reading your other posts, please let her go!!

I have read most of your posts on NL and believe me, you're a cool woman.
Well done

Temitope74:


I'm willing to apologise. In fact, I've apologised on several occasions where I realised I went out of the line out of jealousy. But my fear bro is her feeling she's doing me a favour by being with me. I'm thinking of marrying her. Won't she go on cheating spree after marriage if she feels I'm not really the man of her dream? She's not committed. That's my headache.

You are the problem not her. You have to upgrade why draws you to women. How can you actually intend to marry a shallow and concieved and psychologically un-ready girl because you want to parade a beauty queen as a wife.....your guts is already telling you what she could do if you end up marrying her.


Beauty is decietful. All these words of mine won't stop you only real hurt from her later and a personal admission of your poor judgement will reset your brains to factory settings.

I have been there. I have solid experience

DreamersVille24:
Temitope74 see let me engage you a bit.

I know very well her kind of person and I have dated such.

You are the cause of everything and I'll tell you why.

She knows you're obsessed with her beauty, she knows or thinks you think you can't afford to lose her. She feels her beauty and attractiveness will get her any man and she may be right and so that is the card she would always play against you when you guys have issues, although she may be doing it subliminally and you respond to her subtle threats by always pandering to her misdeamenors.

Now is there a way out? Maybe. But you'll have to put her on the line.

Do not always compliment her, make her understand that youre smart and attractive and many ladies are on the line on your matter too. Make her believe you're with her for every other thing but her beauty and that beauty doesn't matter for you.

Tell her that even though you love her you will not accept her obstinate actions and will be forced to end everything.

You have to risk it all and make her make the hard choice of either sticking with you or moving on to explore the days of her youth.

Make her understand that the world does not revolve around her fine face or big nyashh. Make her believe you don't care much about those things.

You're the man so man up and stake it all... if you lose her then you know you dodged a bullet and if she comes back then you know she'll be in it for life but you have to give her that ultimatum.

All these things I stated are to be shown as well as said to her.

Lastly, never let a woman believe you're obsessed with her or she'll never truly be yours. Women always want to be in control but when you show her that you will always be in charge, she's going to be so into you cos she wants to keep trying to get you under her and she'll relish the challenge. When she has tried for a long time without succeeding, only then will she be submissive and totally loyal to you.

Cheers mate.

Such a lady can't change like that. They usually soft pedal when they hit 30 plus. When pride has held a soul hostage it takes a miracle for its victim to escape with colossal destruction

The poster is the problem. He must learn to find again attractiveness in the core of the woman and not just in the phyisal aspects

I can really feel your pain from your write up but something you must keep mind is that olamide song. Hustle, loyalty and Respect and what do you need from a woman are the last two: Loyalty and Respect.
Nigga, I have to tell you the hard truth, you've got neither from her. You either nip this in the bud right now or you allow her go her way while you continue your search for a good wife. Trust me, no lady is happy when she thinks she settled.

iLegendd:
I didn't read but whatever you wrote, keep it up.

how do you want your thunder, boiled or roasted

Temitope74:


Hmm. Thank you. Honestly I typed all that angrily. I feel she's taking me for granted because she knows I love her. I just can't ignore her lack of commitment because I plan settling down as soon as possible.

Excuse me....did you really dump your ex for her How do y'all think you gonna get away with hurting others for your own selfish reasons This is what you get, when you hurt others. I doubt if this particular lady will marry you...the foundation of anything you do in life matters...your foundation was a faulty one that caused the pain of another.

girl like that would always face out if i like a girl and she does not talk anything about marriage i would keep playing game with her when am done i push her off the clif and give my heart to someone who values it not hoes

Temitope74:

She's 22. She actually gets along with me easily in terms of maturity despite our age difference. We had a long face to face conversation about the commitment issue before introducing her to my parent.

22 is she not too young for marriage?

is she even a graduate yet?

Elouise:
Temitope74

I could have sworn that it was my cousin that wrote this except that the story is too detailed and he's married now, to this type of woman.
I read somewhere that the person who loves less holds the power in a relationship! everyone adviced my cousin but he later settled down with her and it's annoying. I'm sure he regrets it now but he's trying to man-up and not talk about it. This woman is always Jaded, whines about everything even silly things. You can imagine going out in the morning and coming back late at night to meet a nagging wife. my cousin is a good man though, he never talks back.

is she a stay at home wife?

pocohantas:


You dey mind them?

For me.. I think guys should go for ladies above 28years

they're more emotionally ,spiritually and physically matured.
they have things to offer that ladies still in their early 20s can't offer.

These things are not what you write and give somebody @OP.

You were too stiff, too formal, too commanding.

You are in your early thirties and moving with a girl that's a decade younger doesn't give you the right to lord over her.

OP don't use too many words on women...
keep it short and simple and most importantly, try and overlook some things. Live with it or hop out!
u just dey whine like u starting a lister generator.

Elder001:


is she a stay at home wife?

yeah. good thing is she is not violent and that's maybe because my cousin isn't violent actually.

Elouise:
yeah. good thing is she is not violent and that's maybe because my cousin isn't violent actually.

I wonder why a man will want to marry a stay at home wife in this era

why is she always nagging?? she doesn't contribute anything yet she's nagging.. smh

can't you guys discipline your brother?

ImaIma1:
Wow!!! I am shocked. NL guys this is one of the early 20s girls meant to be submissive and meek unlike the 30s ladies who are "bitter" "angry"

OP apparently you and your lady are not on the same page. While you are ready ro settle down, she still feel she is still has time and wants to explore.

And from what you typed, she still haa to work on her emotional intelligence and character. Soon she will see that beauty cannot get her everything. And you also should stop being beauty struck.

Truth you have just said there, he is too obsessed with beauty, good relationship is not about beauty but good character.

romme2u:
hmmmmmm

Dating a girl in her early 20's for marriage purpose

the lord be with you

biacan:
Everything is wrong in what he said he knows that she has ego problem but she still call him and denial it I think he should apologise to her for those harsh words used on her

God bless your soul you don't ever in your life come across my type. No you go run leave the relationship where you dsy wait for apology

YoungDaNaval:
God bless your soul you don't ever in your life come across my type. No you go run leave the relationship where you dsy wait for apology

You nor fit do anything I go make you sell your papa house use the money pay my bride price

biacan:
You nor fit do anything I go make you sell your papa house use the money pay my bride price

lmao!! You no fit abeg

YoungDaNaval:
lmao!! You no fit abeg

I dey like stubborn men like you because I go bend you to my will awon Alfa male

biacan:
I dey like stubborn men like you because I go bend you to my will awon Alfa male

Alfa ke? eeh you dey use jazz ni? I no fear you my mumsy na prayer warriors

YoungDaNaval:
Alfa ke? eeh you dey use jazz ni? I no fear you my mumsy na prayer warriors

You don begin fear

biacan:
You don begin fear

He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world

Why does this remind me of me and my almost/sort-of/had-a-thing “boyfriend”?

We’ve not spoken in weeks. His pride/ego is enormous but he just doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. When he’s ready to talk, he’ll call.

Op, you were too harsh on your girl. You erroneously jumped into a lot of conclusions, you obviously have ego issues as well. You know how women are and how they like to be treated, especially young adult women. You’re not compatible especially with the age difference, the concept of settling down is scary to her and that’s very understandable as she’s still young and she probably has a lot of things she still wants to achieve. At least you’ve gone through that phase of youthful exuberance while she’s still on it but you’re ready to finally settle down so you can see where the conflict of interest and goals stem from. I can honestly relate to your story. I’m going through something very similar, I’m sort of seeing someone older who has a big ego while mine is even bigger. Honestly if I were your girl, I’d break things off with you with that horrid message. I understand your plight and your fears and opinion but that was no way to put it across to her. You should have been more subtle and diplomatic, that was a very disrespectful messsge.
Come back and tell me she did not block you after this, I won’t believe. Una go dey very alright last last
And don’t think her fear of marriage stems from the fact that she still wants to “slay” and weigh her other options and other trivial reasons you might think. Marriage talk scares the fuçk out of me. Don’t get me wrong: I want to get married, I want to have a family but there are still a lot of things I want to achieve. I want to get a masters degree, I want to be a certified Financial Analayst, I’m still contemplating getting an MBA in addition to an Msc, I want to advance to a certain level in my career plus other aspirations I have. And you know that once marriage is in the picture, a lot of goals have to be sacrificed to take on the new marital responsibilities. Anytime my significant other mentioned marriage, I literally used to become really nervous. I couldn’t see myself settling down anytime soon while he was very ready mentally, financially and in all ramifications. I’d be really offended if he tells me that I shy away from discussing marriage because I want to weigh other options. Really offended.
You people just need to sit down and talk like adults abeg.

YoungDaNaval:
He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world

Enyaaaa nnam eweyzinewe ozogo atuzinegu

trust me, what you said was out of anger but you made sense.

The heart wants what it wants. I will not be the one to tell you to free her and move on. that decision is solely yours to make.

op u need to understand that desire is not something you can negotiate. it is a process that happens in the head via electrical impulses in the brain. you only negotiate to have sex with a beautiful woman and move on to other things when ur done. if she tries to cling to you but is furious when you don't give her money, maybe she needs you as her stable provider, in which case u continue to shag as FWB not necessarily an exclusive affair. and u don't go about demanding loyalty or barking like a deranged dog.
she comes around, u guys fukk and she leaves in the morning with a little pocket money like a transaction and she can spend the money on whatever/whoever she's into. it's not ur deal. u just blow ur load and back off. no sentiments. no epistle. she's just your booty call.

but your lovers will come into ur life, and they will chase u with everything at their disposal to to be with u. that's when u begin to talk marriage or LTR.

Hmmmm, pesin wey get head no get cap and d one Wey get cap no get head......
though some of ur words were ash, try n apologize to her n make her understand ur plight,then if she's not willing to hear, "d ball is in ur court"......

Women aren't ready for marriage until age 25.
Age 25 is the last brain growth spurt in most human adults.