"He claims Essien provides far more for his mother".

I wonder if we woulda heard from him if he wasn't playing for Chelsea. Men like him need to SDFU and be glad he is getting media attention.
When you neglect your children and they make something out of themselves;You don't come 'round to chat Poo when they finally make it.

I will say this though, as a human being he should at least throw him a bone or two.

Sagamite:

@ Kgdavid

You must be careful with what you read into singular events in a story.

So what if he took him to his first soccer school? So what if he got him a scholarship?

It is the frequency of activities that matters, not when he feels I want to be good, and expects praise for what he SHOULD be doing for his child.

Something tells me that if M.E had this frequency, his heart will not be this hard towards the man, no matter wetin im mama tell am.

Let me give you a personal example.

I have one useless family member, an uncle. From when he was young, he refused to study or learn a trade even though my papa was pushing him and paying for anything. This Arrow, got a woman pregnant before I was even born and then left the mother with the kid.

My dad took his nephew in from the age of 3 to ensure he gets the best so the mother starts to set up a life of hers (she later remarried and had other kids, but she visited very frequently).

The kid never set eyes on his father till he was in his thirties. The man just disappeared and was enjoying himself as no one knew where he was. I bet he had a lot of kids he must have abandoned in the process as at least one woman has gone to an elderly granny to demand funds from "the family".

When he finally reappeared, and the Arrow was residing in boys quarters, he got another younger woman pregnant and born 3 more kids, he could not afford to take care of. He stayed and acted father for a while and the kids knew him. But he has disappeared again and abandoned them with the mother who is a stark illiterate. My dad, a pensioner has had to take the 3 boys in again, and it is us abroad that are funding their upkeep and schooling. Pretty sharp kids , still all under 12, youngest is about 5.

I am sure the Arrow is someone producing more kids, now when in future he is old, I am sure he will be able to recant some period he provided for this 3 kids and say "he is the father, so they should take care of him when he is no more able" (which is soon as he is getting close to late 60s). Is he worthy based on his singular events that were not frequent? Where was he when the 4 year old broke his leg when he was jumping from walls? Who took him to hospital for surgery?

Me, I have told family that "NO chance in HELL will I have give him any funds when he is old"! He is a wicked and selfish Arrow that I will watch as he suffers.

Sagamite, I have been down a similar road too, I made similar resolution, but when the need arose, i couldn't keep my resolution or turn a blind eyes. i was just glad I could do something. But i ensured he learnt his lessons and I made him realised he didn't deserve what he was getting. I just couldn't let him made me heartless as he was (may be still is).

OAM4J:

Sagamite, I have been down a similar road too, I made similar resolution, but when the need arose, i couldn't keep my resolution or turn a blind eyes. i was just glad I could do something. But i ensured he learnt his lessons and I made him realised he didn't deserve what he was getting. I just couldn't let him made me heartless as he was (may be still is).

I know.

I am just having mouth. 

I will give just the basic (food, clothes, care and shelter), no props and grandness like I give to other uncles and aunties (and let him see). Nothing like Aso Ebi or car to pick him for events. Just put him in a boys quarter and feed him.

Let him sit in the shelter and reminisce over missed chances to be human.

I don't understand how people abandon their own kids.  If push comes to shove, kick the woman out and keep your kids.  [Awaits, in sheer terror, the missiles of the feminists]  Just kidding o. 

I am not in support of polygamous marriage. But we have to cut this crap of blaming the dad for marrying 5 wives as it was like a norm then. If i may ask, did PA ESSIEN force MA ESSIEN to marry him and to became the 4th or 5th wife? Or did he use juju on her? If no, why did she call for divorce? Which she later got as it was her wish and not dat of pa essien. Even after the forceful divorce this man kept on playing his fatherly role to the best of his capacity. Infact i did not see any case in this matter. A good and perfect example is that of Barrack Obama jr and his Dad. In this case which we all know. Barrack's dad did not in any way contribute anything into his life but that did not stop him from accepting his father and even at a particular time he have to travel to as far as Kenye just to see his father and his extended family. This later led to one of his aunt visiting him before he became the U.S Presido. Till date Barrack Obama jr acknowledges his kenye family, of which he would be sending them his assistances. My advice to Michael Essien is simple. He should help his father(dis man na him papa, na him flesh and na him blood) and also support his extented family cos to whom much is given much is expected.

Sagamite:

I know.

I am just having mouth. 

I will give just the basic (food, clothes, care and shelter), no props and grandness like I give to other uncles and aunties (and let him see). Nothing like Aso Ebi or car to pick him for events. Just put him in a boys quarter and feed him.

Let him sit in the shelter and reminisce over missed chances to be human.

I don't understand how people abandon their own kids.  If push comes to shove, kick the woman out and keep your kids.  [[b]Awaits, in sheer terror, the missiles of the feminists]  :[/b]P Just kidding o. 

Why you dey fear LOL. But you are right. So many things can happen between a man and a woman that if you go into it you may never find a solution. The children though is a whole other ball game. I don't understand it how people just walk away from a child.

@ sagamite that ur uncle is a terrible fellow but im sure we can agree that the only parallel between him and James Essien is the fact that they were both sexually irresponsible. that is where the similarity ends, James Essien did not run away from his child. in fact all the children used to go and visit him during holidays. the decision was taken (after eight years) by his wife to divorce him and stay away with the children. still James continued to do what he could. you forget that we are talking about a very traditional and probably uneducated man here. what greater gift can ones parents give than education?

selfish little rutter   £50 for what? he really shouldn't have given them anything. Ok fair enough, he is angry with his father, was he angry with all of his brothers and sisters as well?
People should better talk some sense to that boy because sooner or later he will regret it.

Kgdavid:

Fathers Claim

Chelsea star Michael Essien's dad lives in poverty

http://www.naijarules.com/vb/sports-outdoor-life/27226-chelsea-star-michael-essiens-dad-lives-poverty.html

Chelsea star Michael Essien's dad lives in poverty
EXCLUSIVE: CHELSEA STAR ESSIEN'S DAD
Susie Boniface In Odoben, Ghana 27/01/2008

(What's this?)He drives a 4x4 Porsche, drinks £400 - a - bottle champagne and wears the finest designer clothes.

As one of Chelsea's biggest stars, earning a whopping £90,000 a week, footballer Michael Essien can afford to buy just about anything.

It's a bit different for his elderly father James, though. You don't get to splash out much when you are living on 50p a day.

Home for James, 76, is a tumbledown mud shack with a tatty tin roof in a tiny village in Ghana.

On a pension of just £15 a month he can't even afford to buy firewood to cook his food.

James - known as J.K. - has seen millionaire Michael only once in the last 10 years following a family rift.

But far from being bitter - or wanting a chunk of his superstar son's fortune - he says: "I just want him to let me be a real dad to him.

"I want to go to see his matches - and maybe if he could buy me a second-hand fridge, life would be more comfortable for me.

"Michael has done so well, I am very proud of him. He has raised the Essien name up high. When I wake up the first thing I do is pray for him, that he will excel in all his matches."

J.K. lives alone in the village of Odoben, an hour's drive from the town of Ewutu Bwajiase in Ghana where Michael was born.

In pride of place on the living room wall is his most treasured possession - a poster of Michael playing for Ghana's national team, the Black Stars. J.K. watches every match he can on his tiny eight-year-old TV which picks up a crackly signal from a makeshift aerial.

The family rift began when Michael's mother, Aba, divorced J.K. because he refused to give up his three other wives.

After the split she claimed he had refused to provide for Michael and his sister, Dinah.

J.K. says: "She was my fourth wife and we were married for eight years. But when Michael was two she wanted me not to see the others, and I said no.

"I knew I had responsibilities to him as a father and did what I could. But at that time I was a tool collector for the council earning about £3 a month, and I just could not afford to.

"I had to pay for my other wives and children too. It is right in the sense I did not pay as much as I should have, but I tried my best."

But he adds: "I saw Michael whenever I could, I got him a scholarship to a good school, and I took him to his try-outs for his first under-12s team."

J.K. realised his son had a special talent for the game before he took his first steps. He says: "I was a footballer too when I was young and played for local teams, but had to give it up because at that time there was no profit in it.

"And before Michael could walk he was playing with a ball. He would roll it around with his hand, he would go to bed with a football. Soon he was playing it all the time and I would have kick about with him.

"He was a very good boy, calm and humble. He never insulted anyone or was rude, he was happy and outgoing. All he was interested in was football. The few times he did misbehave I would say, 'If you don't calm down, you're not to play football today'. He would stop right away and do whatever I wanted, he was so desperate to play."

One day J.K. heard there were trials for an under-12s team in the capital, Accra. He spent a precious £6 on a return trip for him and his son, who made it through the final stages to win a place at a soccer academy where he stayed for a year.

Then he started high school on a paid-for scholarship granted after J.K., on a trip to see the headteacher about a place for his son, was in a car accident and laid off work for a year.

Michael graduated at 14, the school-leaving age in Ghana, and was immediately signed-up to the under-17s squad of local side Liberty Professionals. In 1999, aged 16, he was spotted by talent scouts playing in the youth version of the World Cup and signed up to French team SC Bastia.

J.K. says: "When he was with Liberty he lived in Accra and was training a lot, but he rang me regularly and came to visit in the school holidays.

"When he went to France he stayed in touch, and everything was good between us. He sent home money to help me through his mother.

"She would ring me and say she had some money, and I had to travel to her to get it. I would spend maybe £3 getting there and then she would give me £25 or sometimes £10.

"Sometimes if I had not been for six months or so she would give me £50. It was not really enough to help me. But I never complained to her or to Michael because it was not my place.

"I was a beggar, and had to be grateful. I[/b]f things were tough and I was struggling to put food on the table I had to ring his mother and ask for help."

But as Michael's star rose the family rift escalated.

His sister Betty, 27, says: "Michael's mother wanted him to pay for her and her children.
[b]
"Michael tried to help his brothers and sisters a few years ago and gave us all £50 each, but it was never repeated.

"A few months ago my father was so upset he mixed a poison to drink so he could kill himself.

"It was only because a family friend turned up before he had drunk too much that he was saved. Michael has no idea how much we are suffering."

In 2005 Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich paid a record £24million to sign Michael, whose earnings shot up to £30,000 a week.

But J.K. says all payments to him stopped apart from the delivery, two years ago, of a £500 third-hand Mitsubishi Galant, which J.K. has been too poor to fill with petrol for the past 18 months.

Meanwhile, Michael had fallen in love with a Ghanaian-born woman called Dela, whom he met in France. He introduced her to his mother - but not his father.

As is traditional, the couple had a formal engagement agreed by both families, allowing them to live together.

Dela moved with him to London but the couple soon fell out. Last week Michael arrived back in Ghana to play for his country in the Africa Cup Of Nations, the equivalent of the European Championships.

J.K. scraped together the money to visit his ex-wife, and asked her to arrange a visit with Michael.

He says she refused, and he was turned away from the door.

He says: "It was the saddest day of my life. There is no way to describe it. Michael's mother lives in a lovely house with lots of luxuries and I have nothing - most importantly I do not even have my son.

"People come to see me here and laugh at me and say, 'Oh, you're Michael Essien's father, but you live like this'.

"They ridicule me, but I am still proud of him.

"I would like to be able to go to a match and see him play live. But the tickets are about £30, so I don't think I will manage it.

"But I hope in my heart the day will soon come when my son comes back to me - and corrects all the wrongs that have been done."


the bolded quotes tell the story perfectly. it takes a heart of stone to do what michael is doing

The above post says it all. To those who feel Essien is right on what he's doing. . .i wish you all the best with your wicked/vindictive mindset.Some of you are even religious. . .most are Christians, y'all go to church and pray for forgiveness of sins but look at yourselves.And they wonder why i quit being religious.Going to church every Sunday doesn't make you a good person.

Apart from being polygamous, what other "sin" did Micheal Essien's father commit? If not for western education, polygamy forms a BIG PART OF THE AFRICAN WAY OF LIFE! So what the hell are you self righteous bigots yapping about?

This is Unbelievable, Michael should not only be providing for his father, he should be providing for his brothers, every one that has anything to do with the family name irrespective of what has happened in the past because he has enough to take care of every one. I wish I could talk to Essien, He was not abandoned the way I was but that does not mean I would turn my back on my people because I am so rich I dont think I would ever need them. God forgive You Michael! Better go on Your knees now and begin to Beg for forgiveness because when the wrath of God comes upon You, you'd be begging to play for crystal palace but would not get the chance.

African are so wicked, how can a man be as wicked as this, I have a family member who is like this so it is not new to me, watch out when the man dies he would be buried with the most expensive coffin and under three weeks a mansion would be built for him.

having read all three articles i am convinced that michael essien is in the wrong. my dad always would tell us that he should he judged as a father not based on what he did provide for us but on how much he could do that he did do. if you look at the story objectively, michael ought to do more for his father. i mean you say the man did not send him money bla bla bla, the fact of life is that there are poor people out there who simply dont have the money to do nice things for their children. there are people who simply cannot afford to set their children off in life. this man did the little he could. he got his son into school and he set him off in his football career. the boy was not living on the streets, he was living a reasonable life, according to the first article, above african poverty standards(whatever that is). perhaps the man did wrong by biting more than he could chew by marrying too many wives but this is something common to Africa's poor. a total lack of foresight and planning. you will observe that it is the poorest people that have the most kids. michael may God help you to do right. even if he does not consider it to be doing right by his father, let him consider it to be charity, he can send better than 25-50 pounds to his dad.

@kgdavid,
ur sense of reasoning has always been the problem. how can a man living on £3 a month be as useless as marrying 4 wives? men who suffer to train their children to any level enjoys the fruit of their labours might any of the children become useful in life.
living a poor woman to the hard job of traing 4 or more kids alone is wicked.
the man must learn to bear his cross without going piblic.
where were u when essien's mother was bearing her cross, crying day and night? if i have my ways, i will ask essien to marry more wives for his father and that will make life easier for him since he came to the world to marry.
how many wives does ur father have and how much is his income?
the only thing i see in u is pure hatred for chelsea so u will always reason from ur ass.

This is Unbelievable, Michael should not only be providing for his father, he should be providing for his brothers, every one that has anything to do with the family name irrespective of what has happened in the past because he has enough to take care of every one. I wish I could talk to Essien, He was not abandoned the way I was but that does not mean I would turn my back on my people because I am so rich I dont think I would ever need them. God forgive You Michael! Better go on Your knees now and begin to Beg for forgiveness because when the wrath of God comes upon You, you'd be begging to play for crystal palace but would not get the chance.

African are so wicked, how can a man be as wicked as this, I have a family member who is like this so it is not new to me, watch out when the man dies he would be buried with the most expensive coffin and under three weeks a mansion would be built for him.

@djunit1,
if u say unbelieveable, i will accept it but more unbelieveable here is that ppl will sow plantain and expect to reap paw-paw.
wickedness begets wickedness.
sound judgements are not based on one sided stories.
if the man is not guilty, the media can never be the best approach to this rift.
don't tell me the man is surprised with his situation when he married 4 wives while earning just £3 a month.
if the man has repented, he shld approach essien's mother and see her forgiveness and everyother thing shall be added unto him.

Kgdavid:

@ sagamite that your uncle is a terrible fellow but im sure we can agree that the only parallel between him and James Essien is the fact that they were both sexually irresponsible. that is where the similarity ends, James Essien did not run away from his child. in fact all the children used to go and visit him during holidays. the decision was taken (after eight years) by his wife to divorce him and stay away with the children. still James continued to do what he could. you forget that we are talking about a very traditional and probably uneducated man here. what greater gift can ones parents give than education?

No we cannot agree they are any different.

We really don't know the particulars of Essiens relationship with his father based on singular events the father recalls.

There might be a lot of parallels with my uncle, not just sexual irresponsibility. My uncle also has carried his kids, changed their nappies, kissed them to bed, taken them to parties, bought them fanta and buns, bought them pencil and paper, walked them to school etc. This are things he can boast about in coming years. As much as that sounds adorable, that does not make him a good father, they are just singular events of what a parent should do anyway. By and large, he abandoned them mostly, so singular events are irrelevant.

What use as a father is Essiens dad if he got him a scholarship but can't be there to ensure he eats and can afford to go to school?

What use is he when he catches a fever and cannot go to hospital but everyone is hoping his immune system fights it? Less we forget, as Africans from what we see in our youth, this type of poor man that said he had no money would have been buying some local young girl (he is not married to) stuff to get to her sweet honey. Money that could have gone to the upkeep of his kids.

What use is a father that kick ball with you for 2 hours or take you to a football academy and then you don't see again for weeks? And the time you don't see him, not like if he is going to make some money to take care of you.

Face it, the man failed on the two most important aspect of child rearing from a father, financial and emotional support. Simples.

The former was due to his own faults (having more kids than he can care for by enjoying himself), the latter is what I am still trying to figure out the truth.

My papa smacked the shite out of me (for love to do better in life o) but he was their 24/7 financially and emotionally every single time, he was there as a guardian, a mentor and a rib-cracker (where we both exchange repartees at each other, even though he can smack me  ). When he was not there, he was out to make money that ensured we got what we needed. That is what most male kids can't forget. Females can sometimes easily forgive, but men are not as emotional.

Chidichris, Was or is Micheal's mother so daft or blind to know that there were three other wives before she agreed to marry the guy? The man did all he could for God sake and I am very sure he did not do half of what he did for Michael for his brothers and sisters else they would be in a better position to help their father today. I am not sure You have seen the photos, any one who has seen the photos and still has a hardened heart then that person is no longer human. I say this because I can be very wicked myself but not up to the level of seeing a fellow human live this kind of life when I can help. For Christ sake Michael should be glad that he still has both parents and the man is so kind enough to still offer prayers daily for the Fool, if I were the man my daily prayers would be that his next club he would play for is either crystal palace or Sheffield Wednesday so that gradually he too would run down and see what it means to suffer. Very few people made it in life with the help of their parents in Africa but that does not mean we should all turn our backs on the people that brought us into the world. as a matter of fact real successful people make it without any input from their families, Michael should repent because Soon God would answer the Cry of the old man and the result is not something Michael would like

@Outstrip and Chidichris,

How can you people be supporting evil

or paying evil with evil, thats unforgiven hearts !

Micheal have to act fast before it is too late for him.

If that man die on that condition, I pity him Micheal.

Outstrip:

Why you dey fear LOL. But you are right. So many things can happen between a man and a woman that if you go into it you may never find a solution. The children though is a whole other ball game. I don't understand it how people just walk away from a child.

Abi o!

I remember a time in primary school when I was about 8 years old (contrary to popular belief that I entered primary school at 15  ), I went to school early and met some few early comers playing 3-a-side football whilst waiting for assembly to begin. Since I be maradona then  , I registered my interest to enter the next set after the first team that scores 3 goals.

Suddenly, kasala bust as a teacher (notorious for flogging) came and rounded up those playing football before beginning of classes as (1) they will be sweaty and dirty their uniforms before assembly and (2) they would be tired and sleepy in class. He rounded everyone playing and those waiting set self (including myself) and gave us 6 seriously hot lashes each (on my beautiful puff-puff little ikebe  ).

I was furious, I was incandescent, that I could be smacked for what I had not yet done. I got my bags headed straight to the school gates and exited with the security guard (an old baba) screaming for me to come back here as they are responsible for my safety. I just ran out.

I went straight home (there was an older relative at home), picked up the phone and called my Dad and the first thing I told him to his amazement, in tears, after the hellos: "You better start looking for a new school for me, as I am not going back to that God-forsaken school". He asked me why and I told him what happened. Normally he would have have scowled "You better run back to school before I catch you" but from my anger and crying, he just laughed.

The man got his driver to drive him home from work around lunch time and then took me to school, and we went to headmasters office, where we 3 had a chat  . I put it forward to the headmaster why I got smacked for. My argument, which I put forward confidently since I now had backing  , was that:

1) I had not yet played, so I am not guilty of the act yet.

2) Even though I had registered interest, what evidence do they have that I will not change my mind in the end.

My Dad was just looking at me and chortling. He was not siding me he started testing me by teasing me about my intentions of playing but I maintained my stance that the 2 points above still stands and they could prove nothing, furthermore there were those with interest of also playing standing there, but did not express interest as they knew there would be no more time for sets after mine, so why were they not smacked for interest too. And also, even if I was to be smacked, I should not have been given the same number of strokes as those that have played. The man and the principal just laughed to each other as dem dey see logic, so they said I was right and then told me nicely to go back to class.

Those are the kind of things you will remember a father for, not just showing up and helping scholarships.

The Orji Guy in BBC's "Welcome to Lagos" first episode is poor but that is what one calls a FATHER!

Polygamy has advantages (of which I don't know any) and endless disadvantages, one of which is poverty and lack of strong bonding between fathers and their children. The man erred but he should be forgiven. Essien can never have another biological father and he should honour his parents as the Bible commands (that is if he is a christian) and avoid his father's curses and the wrath of God.

That said, polygamy is evil. Because it is part of our culture does not mean it is good. We should take the good parts and do away with the bad. That is what they call progressive culture.For the men, why have wives and kids that you cannot cater for? I know people from polygamous homes who went through HELL (and spiritually too) just to make it in life. And for the women why marry a married man all to avoid societal stigma and expect him to be able to sufficiently cater for all the kids. You want to finish the man? . Esien and his mother should forgive his father and pay him back with kindness.

Aww Sagamite. Your story made me feel so warm inside. I had a similar situation with a teacher that was bullying me and my dad went to school himself to defend me. These are the things that children remember and see other children have and wish they had the same. There is nothing like the security a child feels from the knowledge that Dad is there and will always be there no matter what. My dad is still there and even if we have a conversation and there is a misunderstanding he will call me back on the phone or send his secretary to email me a Bible scripture to calm me down LOL. I have cousins whose dad died when they were younger. You could tell that they always were conscious of the fact that they had no father. In a way they felt insecure about it. I think it drove all of them to work hard and they are all successful adults. I am so glad God gave me such a wonderful dad. I hope one day Michael Essien and his dad will be able to work things out but I am sure it will be hard especially after the man came out with this story in the media

Y neglect ur CHILD in the first place?

well is all good whatever ur jugment or ur view about this issue, the basic truth is that micheal essien as football ambasedor of black race should have just clear the ground from this image tanishing but rather decided to act on the poisenous upbringing by his MUM

what if ME is about to be blackmail,woud't he have paid or do anything to protect his image
and he should remember that there some greatpple with even worst case and they are still supportin ther roots just to protect ther names and image

Ghana Gal:

Y neglect your CHILD in the first place?

Let God be d judge. .

Sagamite:

Abi o!

I remember a time in primary school when I was about 8 years old (contrary to popular belief that I entered primary school at 15  ), I went to school early and met some few early comers playing 3-a-side football whilst waiting for assembly to begin. Since I be maradona then  , I registered my interest to enter the next set after the first team that scores 3 goals.

Suddenly, kasala bust as a teacher (notorious for flogging) came and rounded up those playing football before beginning of classes as (1) they will be sweaty and dirty their uniforms before assembly and (2) they would be tired and sleepy in class. He rounded everyone playing and those waiting set self (including myself) and gave us 6 seriously hot lashes each (on my beautiful puff-puff little ikebe  ).

I was furious, I was incandescent, that I could be smacked for what I had not yet done. I got my bags headed straight to the school gates and exited with the security guard (an old baba) screaming for me to come back here as they are responsible for my safety. I just ran out.

I went straight home (there was an older relative at home), picked up the phone and called my Dad and the first thing I told him to his amazement, in tears, after the hellos: "You better start looking for a new school for me, as I am not going back to that God-forsaken school". He asked me why and I told him what happened. Normally he would have have scowled "You better run back to school before I catch you" but from my anger and crying, he just laughed.

The man got his driver to drive him home from work around lunch time and then took me to school, and we went to headmasters office, where we 3 had a chat  . I put it forward to the headmaster why I got smacked for. My argument, which I put forward confidently since I now had backing  , was that:

1) I had not yet played, so I am not guilty of the act yet.

2) Even though I had registered interest, what evidence do they have that I will not change my mind in the end.

My Dad was just looking at me and chortling. He was not siding me he started testing me by teasing me about my intentions of playing but I maintained my stance that the 2 points above still stands and they could prove nothing, furthermore there were those with interest of also playing standing there, but did not express interest as they knew there would be no more time for sets after mine, so why were they not smacked for interest too. And also, even if I was to be smacked, I should not have been given the same number of strokes as those that have played. The man and the principal just laughed to each other as dem dey see logic, so they said I was right and then told me nicely to go back to class.

Those are the kind of things you will remember a father for, not just showing up and helping scholarships.

The Orji Guy in BBC's "Welcome to Lagos" first episode is poor but that is what one calls a FATHER!

Brother you have to be more reasonable and truthful with reality. From the story Michael's dad did not abandon michael's mother and children rather it was Michael's mom that divorced his husband(pa essien). I have been following your comments in this particular thread you tend to support Michael Essien and his Mom's action just for the sole purpose of projecting your own personal story. I dont have any problem with your stories, i only have problem with the way you twist truth just to suit you. Mister Sagamite and others that support evil just remember that he who supports evil, evil will not cease coming to him. Let us learn to call evil by its real name EVIL! I rest my case if you like call me names i give no damn.

Sagamite:

Abi o!

I remember a time in primary school when I was about 8 years old (contrary to popular belief that I entered primary school at 15  ), I went to school early and met some few early comers playing 3-a-side football whilst waiting for assembly to begin. Since I be maradona then  , I registered my interest to enter the next set after the first team that scores 3 goals.

Suddenly, kasala bust as a teacher (notorious for flogging) came and rounded up those playing football before beginning of classes as (1) they will be sweaty and dirty their uniforms before assembly and (2) they would be tired and sleepy in class. He rounded everyone playing and those waiting set self (including myself) and gave us 6 seriously hot lashes each (on my beautiful puff-puff little ikebe  ).

I was furious, I was incandescent, that I could be smacked for what I had not yet done. I got my bags headed straight to the school gates and exited with the security guard (an old baba) screaming for me to come back here as they are responsible for my safety. I just ran out.

I went straight home (there was an older relative at home), picked up the phone and called my Dad and the first thing I told him to his amazement, in tears, after the hellos: "You better start looking for a new school for me, as I am not going back to that God-forsaken school". He asked me why and I told him what happened. Normally he would have have scowled "You better run back to school before I catch you" but from my anger and crying, he just laughed.

The man got his driver to drive him home from work around lunch time and then took me to school, and we went to headmasters office, where we 3 had a chat  . I put it forward to the headmaster why I got smacked for. My argument, which I put forward confidently since I now had backing  , was that:

1) I had not yet played, so I am not guilty of the act yet.

2) Even though I had registered interest, what evidence do they have that I will not change my mind in the end.

My Dad was just looking at me and chortling. He was not siding me he started testing me by teasing me about my intentions of playing but I maintained my stance that the 2 points above still stands and they could prove nothing, furthermore there were those with interest of also playing standing there, but did not express interest as they knew there would be no more time for sets after mine, so why were they not smacked for interest too. And also, even if I was to be smacked, I should not have been given the same number of strokes as those that have played. The man and the principal just laughed to each other as dem dey see logic, so they said I was right and then told me nicely to go back to class.

Those are the kind of things you will remember a father for, not just showing up and helping scholarships.

The Orji Guy in BBC's "Welcome to Lagos" first episode is poor but that is what one calls a FATHER!

Brother you have to be more reasonable and truthful with reality. From the story Michael's dad did not abandon michael's mother and children rather it was Michael's mom that divorced his husband(pa essien). I have been following your comments in this particular thread you tend to support Michael Essien and his Mom's action just for the sole purpose of projecting your own personal story. I dont have any problem with your stories, i only have problem with the way you twist truth just to suit you. Mister Sagamite and others that support evil just remember that he who supports evil, evil will not cease coming to him. Let us learn to call evil by its real name EVIL! I rest my case if you like call me names i give no damn.

Sonofpeace:

Brother you have to be more reasonable and truthful with reality. From the story Michael's dad did not abandon michael's mother and children rather it was Michael's mom that divorced his husband(pa essien). I have been following your comments in this particular thread you tend to support Michael Essien and his Mom's action just for the sole purpose of projecting your own personal story. I dont have any problem with your stories, i only have problem with the way you twist truth just to suit you. Mister Sagamite and others that support evil just remember that he who supports evil, evil will not cease coming to him. Let us learn to call evil by its real name EVIL! I rest my case if you like call me names i give no damn.

Please cut the crap!

Tell me where I twisted the truth?

TIA - This is Africa.

You want to tell me that in AFRICA, a father would want to see his child and a woman would stop him?

I have not made up my mind on the issue until I know the emotional aspects of the relationship, although I am doubtful.

Sagamite:

Please cut the crap!

Tell me where I twisted the truth?

TIA - This is Africa.

You want to tell me that in AFRICA, a father would want to see his child and a woman would stop him?

I have not made up my mind on the issue until I know the emotional aspects of the relationship, although I am doubtful.

Start first by reading your comments on this thread from the abnitio you will get what i meant if you're really honest (which i guess you are). Essiens Dad had a father and son relationship when Michael was still in Ghana. From the story the relationship between Essiens Dad and M.E went ugly after Michael got a contract in france. All these symbolises that the poor relationship were engineered by Essiens rise to fame in football.

Sagamite:

Please cut the crap!

Tell me where I twisted the truth?

TIA - This is Africa.

You want to tell me that in AFRICA, a father would want to see his child and a woman would stop him?

I have not made up my mind on the issue until I know the emotional aspects of the relationship, although I am doubtful.

I am suspecting the Mother, she is witch hunting his former husband who happens to be the father of her children.

Sonofpeace:

  Start first by reading your comments on this thread from the abnitio you will get what i meant if you're really honest (which i guess you are). Essiens Dad had a father and son relationship when Michael was still in Ghana. From the story the relationship between Essiens Dad and M.E went ugly after Michael got a contract in france. All these symbolises that the poor relationship were engineered by Essiens rise to fame in football.

Sonofpeace:

I am suspecting the Mother, she is witch hunting his former husband who happens to be the father of her children.

I judge a father mainly on two fundamentals, financial and emotional support.

What I deduced from the above is that:

1) Essien's father himself has admitted he failed financially as he could not support his big family on his peasant salary. We are not talking about 6 kids here, where one can say na "condition make crayfish bend" (i.e. economic circumstances). We are talking about (probably) 11+ kids, hence irresponsibility, so that is ENTIRELY his fault. And Essien has suffered because of his irresponsibility and incapability in carrying out his fundamental cue. Such a poor man with so much kids is completely irresponsible and selfish.

2) In regards emotions, I don't know yet. The man has given examples that could be singular, non-frequent, non-sustianed events as he himself did not boast he was there everyday. And that is what HE says. My guts is telling me that if his acts are different (i.e. frequent and sustianed fatherhood behaviours), Essien would not be sooooooooo hard hearted. I need to know details of this in more certainty.

Excellent riposte Sagamite! A father is not just one who doles out money. I remember when i was young i resented the fact that my dad felt he must poke his nose at everything . . . down to when i washed my socks last! He wanted to be involved in everything even till now . . . but over time as i matured, i have come to value his presence as a treasure i cant quantify. Just the feeling that you've got someone who will be there for you in rain or shine is enough to give you the confidence to go out there and face the world.

I cant imagine what its like growing up without a father.

davidylan:

I cant imagine what its like growing up without a father.

A good father you should say. There's a BIG difference between having just a father and a [b]good [/b]father.

the moral of the gist is - born as many as you can properly take very good care of. And should things go wrong with your wife or husband, please do dont abondon your own blood children.

Meanwhile I agree with you comment Chika98

its important to put things in the right perpective to be able to decipher it. its more important when the focus is something that happened in the past, a different environment, a different culture, a different civilisation etc.

let me quickly create a scenerio. in nigeria, we beat our kids when they disobey us or do very bad things. in the uk, that is not done. in the next 30 years and that culture moves to nigeria, i bet that our children will then accuse us of haven abused them while they were young or our grand children will see us as terrible people. you know why? the pysche at that time will not just understand or comprehend why we do it now.

the human psyche is continuously evolving and so is our sense of judgement. every change in our psyche through education, civilisation, exposure, culture transfer will ultimately affect our sense of judgement. therefore, it does not mean that our judgment now is correct while that of the older generation is wrong cos i tell you, the future generations are coming to find us very foolish.

i smile when an african today says polygamy is stupid or how can a man marry many wifes and have many children when he can not take care of them. cos i imagine the perception such would have had say 50 years ago. this is not a forum to discuss polygamy but let me quickly point out some issues so that we can appreciate how societies develops and how we should relate with those changes.

1. the high child and maternal mortality rate in africa made the family life a gamble. it was a case of let us take our chances and see what will happen. mothers of that time will give birth to as many as they can and men would marry more women.

2. the economic activity at that time was best subsistence. so the larger your workforce particularly family members the better for you.

3. the uncertainty attached to future prospects. have many wifes and children- whichever of them that makes it in the future! the family then benefits

4. the desire for a male child. my family name must continue so if a wife can give a male child then another or another or another should

5. social balance and family integration. i want my family to be a part of your so take my daughter and marry her. the community has more young ladies and the should be a balance young men should take more wives

6. show of elegance and prowess. the size of your family show your ability

these and many more are reasons for polygamy in different societies. to see otherwise at that time, you must be a foolish one. today we see differently.

somebody talked about a fathers responsibility or responsibilities. well, i would want to ask, based on which culture or society because there are places where the role of the father is expected to be performed by the mother. different cultures have different roles that assigned to individuals and groups. a friend of mine just got married and the family of the bride provided all household materials. infact my wife told me that in the north, there are places where all the guy does is provide the house and everything that will be in the house will be provided by the bride's family. i mean everything. tell a yoruba man that your wife's family bought everything in your house and you will be the most irresponsible man before his eyes. do you know what he will say? 'ole ni e, eni wa ifa, o n wa ofo' meaning, you are a thief, he who looks for free things, is looking forward to perish.

the diversity and complexity of the human existence demand that we tread softly with our judgements. whatever happened in the past can only be best judged based on the factors of that time.

the factors surrounding this issues can not be easily understood except with further details from all parties. what any of us should do is what would be humanly right to do? just be the good samaritan
if you want to ask everybody before you help them if they have been good or bad or if they have been dutiful in thier responsibilities, then i bet you aint going to find someone to help. we all have one story or the other

and to think that attaining success is primarily by your actions, ask yourself what actions of others could have destroyed that success.

my mother didnt care for me, what would you have done if she had decided to abort your pregnancy, suffocate you with the shawl, live you to die when you had malaria?

my dad didnt take care of me, what would you do if he had died trying to take care of you even before you were born because he would still not be there for you.

if you have been succesfull, know that every action taken by all arround you either good or bad had led you to that success. the same goes for the other way.

give thanks if you

Talking a lot but not really saying anything

Seriously for me after reading a whole lot from this thread, I beleive 1 thing should just be.
Essien should please try and elevate the man's condition more than this. This is not a thing of what the father did then or not. But in all sense of reality, so far the man didnt kill him or the mother or siblings, no sin he would have committed that cant be forgiven.
People have done worse to their kids and still got forgiven
For God to be able to forgive us our trespasses, Who are we not to forgive our fellow human being.

1 thing, If the man had Terminated him in pregnancy due to the fact he didn't have much then. Would Micheal Essien be a footballer now? Maybe he would with another name but definitely he wouldn't be Micheal Essein that we know now

@justdtruth, please what are you talking about?