Lolzzz.. I dey imagine the situation... Lawwd hammercy!

donstan18:
Kindly bring any 3 of your relatives from your village to join you there, let's see if she'll complain.

She'll quickly be the one to find a solution to spark back the marital privacy of your marriage.

U are a wise person. In fact bring 4. Nobody go tell her to leave. But before u do, discuss it with your wife.

That is why couples need to discuss things like these before getting married. I and my husband discussed this and resolved that nobody comes to stay with us, at least during the first 5years of our marriage.
Any in-law who visits shouldn't stay more than a few weeks, and they must inform us before coming. This decision we made together has really helped us.
Thankfully, my family members as well as inlaws all have their own houses and they don't even fancy moving in to stay with us. Everyone has peace of mind.

Things like these are always bound to happen when you and your wife didn't have a prior discussion about this. I expect your wife to know better. Your marriage is too young for this. Its even worse that you have a small apartment. Your wife and her sister are not being fair to you

This is exactly what am facing in my home right now.

I see marrying two sisters just like Jacob did. Prepare your mind for that

alimaa:
i reject this your comment. As long as i have blood in my veins i will always have money. Every money i need is inside of me.

Remember job...nothing is permanent. what i'm saying is that you should be rational in action this Nigeria

kimbraa:
And you're so beautiful.

Get a room

kimbraa:
And you're so beautiful.

Get a room

kimbraa:
And you're so beautiful.

Get a room

Throw her and your wife out.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Oh yes,so because he is scared of the consequence he should die in silence! Bro see,most times in marriage,you disagree to agree. If you are always the yes person,marriage won't work out well,besides the guy in question is a very dull person. He couldn't even talk to his wife about it. True everybody is not the same because if such a problem comes to me,I will discuss it with my wife first and if she fails to take action,I will not hesistate to act on my own and damn the consequence. Final..

Yes Mr Final, there's no point talking to you. Plus, read my comment again, I never suggested he remains silent. Stop looking at marriage from the angle of fight. Drama queen.

nittroboy:
I pity you, say it and see chemical reaction, mind you , your life is not secure anymore,she would believed that you would soon cheat on her, Your Death In Advance.

abeg oh, na joke I dey oh.

kimbraa:
If you ask her to leave, you become an enemy, and if your wife who happens to be her younger sister should ask her to leave, she'd assume your wife is being disrespectful to her because she's married and she's not. Tell your wife to explain the situation to her mother or someone older to call her back and give you guys space.

Best response ever.

Izen:


Yes Mr Final, there's no point talking to you. Plus, read my comment again, I never suggested he remains silent. Stop looking at marriage from the angle of fight. Drama queen.

....Any man that does eye service in a marriage for his in-laws to see him as a good person is not yet matured for the union. Him taking charge of his home doesn't mean he should fight them.

That's the problem of Maryin' a girl from nigeria. You will become responsible for both 'ur family and 'ur wifes families. THIS IS NIGERIA Once you marry their daughter you have married the whole family. My advice, start a 20days dry fasting and prayer and you will see the miracle of God.

My brother that's your home and family....better ask her to leave....be a bad person buh be happy.....single senior sisters are often times frustrated....ask her to leave your home either politely or rudely.....just get her out of Ur home in anyway possible. She is not your family

No rule No sin. I wish before you both married you have agreed to no family people come to stay with you and if it is a must, they shouldn't exceed more than a week else we couple will sit the family member down and let them know it is time for them to take their leave. shikena.

alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

When my wife's people calls my wife that they are coming over and I am duly informed, my first sets of questions is...when is she coming and why is she coming..... Then when is she going back.

One said she just wants to come and I told my wife it is not holiday season here. She must not come.

It is my home.

kimbraa:
If you ask her to leave, you become an enemy, and if your wife who happens to be her younger sister should ask her to leave, she'd assume your wife is being disrespectful to her because she's married and she's not. Tell your wife to explain the situation to her mother or someone older to call her back and give you guys space.

So much wisdom. This is a wise counsel take it serious.

johnnychuks:
thats means you wont konge to kill the man and the wife! You hard him, he said they stay in a small apartment. Bros dont just do anything silly so they dont see you as a rong inlaw remember that we are working for our familie and inlaws pls dont break the chain you are not the only person that this have been hapening to pls try to be a good nigeria thats how we live here thanks for taking my candict advice, i have two of my wife elder sisters that are leaving with me! You expect me to chase them to the street, no now thats been heartless and greedy, this is where your maturity need to come in.

Firstly, do something about your English. Whatever message u are trying to pass across doesn't make sense. What is mature about allowing third parties ]bro your marital homes, especially liabilities?

Oga you have to apply wisdom, especially in this issue.

What works for the other family or home may not work for you.

Like someone said, up der, you shud know why she visited.

Is she der to look for a job? just running away from home? or just coming to stay and enjoy?


Do not ask her to leave, shes your wife's elder sister( now your relation by marriage).

Discuss it with your wife first, your wife should know how to put it to her.

And if she ddnt leave the house via your wife's discussion with her.

Then plan a visit to her home (Your Wife's place), and every one must go along.

Get to their home and dump her der, nonsense

alimaa:

Please what advice do you have for me?

Oga you have to apply wisdom, especially in this issue.

What works for the other family or home may not work for you.

Like someone said, up der, you shud know why she visited.

Is she der to look for a job? just running away from home? or just coming to stay and enjoy?


Do not ask her to leave, shes your wife's elder sister( now your relation by marriage).

Discuss it with your wife first, your wife should know how to put it to her.

And if she ddnt leave the house via your wife's discussion with her.

Then plan a visit to her home (Your Wife's place), and every one must go along.

Get to their home and dump her der, nonsense undecided undecided undecided

Hmm

coldFLARES1:
No one gets comfortable when unplanned expenses become a constant. I would advice you instruct your wife to issue a deadline for her to leave, and if she can't you simply ask her yourself.

However, if your wife makes financial contributions to running the home, there won't be the need for my earlier suggestion. What you simply do is declare to her that she'd be responsible for upkeep of the home for as more time as her sister remains in your house. Whatever crises follows that,....just take it.

I don't think the only issue here is increased expenses, the fact that a third party is present in the home matters too. And most times, those family members expect some things to change because they are around, especially if the person is an unreasonable type.

There are two sides to every story. Don't tell your wife for now and definately don't tell her sister. They may interprete it wrongly. Tell your mum. Tell her to come visit for some days, then she would nail the coffin. It would then seem as if it is coming from your mother. That way you are still in good terms with everyone.

I think the actions to be taken actually depend on the relative's purpose of staying in the house. If it is that the person came for an interview or just temporarily until he/she gets an accommodation, of course he can be allowed to stay for as long as needed. But if it is noticed that the person is not even making any attempt at moving out, then it is necessary to move him/her out.

I non get time for all this rubbish at all. B4 we marry self I go don tell my wife say no visitor of hers dey stay more than a week except under specially circumstances.tell you wife to inform her to move out b4 1 week if she does not respect herself and move out, then kick her out. Be a man jare

mitchyy:
That is why couples need to discuss things like these before getting married. I and my husband discussed this and resolved that nobody comes to stay with us, at least during the first 5years of our marriage.
Any in-law who visits shouldn't stay more than a few weeks, and they must inform us before coming. This decision we made together has really helped us.
Thankfully, my family members as well as inlaws all have their own houses and they don't even fancy moving in to stay with us. Everyone has peace of mind.

Things like these are always bound to happen when you and your wife didn't have a prior discussion about this. I expect your wife to know better. Your marriage is too young for this. Its even worse that you have a small apartment. Your wife and her sister are not being fair to you

You are right. The wife and sister are not being fair. The guy didn't even discuss the issue with his wife, it's like he's a dull kind of person. At least the wife and her husband should discuss it then take a decision, instead he ran into nairaland for advice. I strongly believe he would have learnt alot from all the comments so far.

alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

Talk to your wife and advise her to ask her sister to give you guy's a breathing space, tell her not to quote you, if she is reluctant to say such don't bother her again once a while go else to sleep not just a night but some days, if she asks you why you slept out or where you went to tell her you needed a space to reflect on your life. But if you can't do that, pretend over it and when the food in the house is finished behave as if you don't know and don't bring out food money anytime you are coming home eat outside before entering home and go straight to bed.
Don't ask her sister to go from your house leave her their use the opportunity to save some money and start behaving funny to your wife.
With all this she will do the needful. And apologies for you for everything.

Let him sit the wife down and talk to her first since he said they haven't. That's the first step.

Before I married wife, I noticed some funny tendencies and excesses in her family members so I sat her down and told her my stand on a number of issues which is what is helping us today. Now you can't come to our house without calling first and if you have to stay over or for some time, then we must know how long you are staying which I always make sure doesn't exceed a few days except for when she gave birth and the mum and sister had to come and help out.

awwfar:
hmmm...so u get sense like this ..
my advice is that you start walking around your house naked henceforth with your stick pointing forward like a battled ready soldier that's about to pull the trigger in the middle of a war, its sha your house.

Walai,bros U don manya.. lol badt guy.

alimaa:
I know i am supposed to post this in the family section but i always get better response from the Romance section. I don't know whether any of you has been in a situation where an in-law comes for a short visit and finally settles in your home without any sign of leaving anytime soon.

My wife's elder sister who is single came to visit us in January but up till now she has not made any move to go and it's not as if we live in a big apartment so there is no much privacy. We got married in 2015 so our union is still young.

This kind of situation puts one in a dilemma because you just don't know what to say and you will be termed "a bad person". She lies on our matrimonial bed even in my presence.

Before now i never knew someone would feel comfortable staying with a younger sister in her matrimonial home. If it is as a result of accommodation problem or maybe you went to a distant location to do one or two things and you now spend sometime in your younger sister's home, that is understandable.

Please what advice do you have for me?

Lucky you. This is an opportunity to be straffing your wife's sister abi u no dey tire to dey straff only ur wife? Variety is the spice of life. You cant be eating okra every day and be happy.