LAFF MATTERS

THIS IS A TRUE LIFE STORY!!

Late in 1994, an 87 year old man passed on in a village close to Amai, Kwale, Delta State . The late man's grand son, Ufiaka (26 years old and fairly educated), was given some money and asked to travel to Agbor to buy a fine casket for his grand pa's burial. Ufiaka left base early and arrived Agbor in good time to purchase the casket and make the return journey same day,
He was fortunate to get an open back white coloured Peugeot 404 pickup heading for Amai. He, however, had to ride in the back of the pickup with the casket because two market women travelling to Amai were already seated in front with the driver.

On the home journey, they ran into a heavy rain storm close to Uronigbe and Ufiaka quickly opened the casket, lay himself nicely in the well padded interior, covered the lid and used the folded newspaper he had with him to leave a small opening between the lid and the main body of the white casket to ensure adequate ventilation.
The interior of the casket was very comfortable and Ufiaka soon fell into a very deep sleep.
The rain had subsided at the time the pickup van arrived at Umutu and during a brief stop there, two men travelling to Amai boarded the vehicle at the back and the same happened at Ubiaruku where a man and a woman travelling also to Amai entered the vehicle. All this while, Ufiaka was enjoying his beauty sleep inside the Casket completely unaware of the new passengers who boarded at Umutu and Ubiaruku.

The pickup van arrived Amai just after 5p.m. and the driver, who was now very hungry, stopped in front of a busy bukataria to have a quick bite before proceeding onto the next village.

The sudden stoppage and revving of the pickup's engine woke Ufiaka who then opened the lid of the casket and rose up.

Trouble come start!
The passengers in the back of the pickup jumped out of the vehicle from various points and took to their heels in various directions.
The people eating in the buka (including the mama-put and her service girls) who saw the white casket open, and a "ghost" step out, ran off all over the place some with balls of eba and akpu in their hands.

Ufiaka, seeing people running 'helta skelta' was convinced that armed robbers were operating and decided to take-off in the direction three of the passengers, including the woman, were running. When the three passengers realised that Ufiaka was running towards them, they increased their speed and shouted "ghost! ghost!" and, to further worsen the situation, Ufiaka was dressed in white up and down with white shoes to match that day.
With the shouting of 'ghost', other people in their homes came out to see what was going on and on seeing people running at high speed all over, they joined in the race for their dear life and the number just swelled.
The driver and the two market women were the only people who knew what was on going and they had a hell of a time calming the people down and explaining that … he merely needed shelter, while it was raining ,

Are you still there!
Ok, Practice Laughing Session throughout the remaining days of the year ’2010.

IT IS WELL

nice one gee

this is soooooooooo funny i really had a laugh

Man!! this joke too much!!

I wan die with laughter for here, esp the last 2 paragraphs 

@poster where did you get this joke from?

I nearly wet myself reading this <wipes tears from eyes>

Truly original, thumbs up to you!! 

Na me borrow am the joke

^^ na lie!

U never reach this level for jokes yet

U too dey criticise, And your sense of humour na 2/10.
U no try at all. Lol

abeg no vex now,

I dey try tell u softly-softly say you still dey apprentice level

                       

luvly! definitely a luvly one there! i almost did not read it because of the length, but was encouraged by comments made so far.

great job sir!    



*just wondering: .  .  . do i sense a possible monie-making venture here? if a couple of short stories like this were compiled & turned into a short animated movie .  .  .    well who knows*

singing: .   .  . no one knows tomorrow .  .  .

Me?
Apprentice level?
INSULT!
I give u 7days to retract dat statement and apologise publicly or
Else dis nairaland no go contain me and you.

*Rolls Sleeve*

me apologize?

nerrrrrrrrrrrver!

I go treat your fu*kup

anytime person yabbing pain you,

you go begin use swear language

make u grow up sha

i don warn una (all these small pikins) wey dey always like play betting for hia. oya, make una go https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-400205.928.html or https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-373124.1536.html go dey play una betting. nonsense! small small pikins dem wey suppose still dey school dey read.

I'm the best, i'm the Yes!
Nobody go follow me share my crown gutter gurl.

My jokes are real and theirs na fake like clown.
If i vex believe me u go run marathon comot here.
Lol

Studio CFR:

I'm the best, i'm the Yes!

No you're not.

My jokes are real and theirs na fake like clown.

Make you l k 'an learn from this joke.

Nich na me dey 1st appreciate dis joke b4 Studio arrive,

na true u talk - abeg come carry studio commot here as e don dey derail thread

My enemies dey multiply everyday.
But no matter how dem plenty reach, dem no fit see my back.

Nich don bite the finger dat fed u. I'm still your boss wether the devil likes it or not

see gbege! i cannot fit shout!

oya, make the two of una two waka go Politics section now now before i change my mind!

lol

Studio how far now?

Oya come YIM

Nich make i no lie cuz i be christian, lol, Your joke make sense, but i still dey find am difficult to laugh. B-)



Efe,
I still never arrive.
No vex baby *smiles*

nps - let me know when u don arrive then

Ok baby, no problem, But incase i no come b4 12am, then go sleep till 2morow.

na only one kin person dey waka for night

na which one u be sef?

Which kind yarnings be dat na?

I dey ask u if u don conclude your night business(es)

U
Well so?
Which kind durty talk be dat na?
I be yo mate?

na perfectly innocent question - how e come dirrrrrrty now? 

I go sound you oh.

really? Oya come now - I dey wait 4 u

I don enter'am today,
See all dis small children nowadays no dey fear again,
I still never arrive and i fit sleep here till tomorow cuz i no like to move for night.
Very dangerous.

why e dey take u 10mins to post reply sef?

<yawns>

In that case - l8r then

Going to bed? Ok gudnight.