hello everyone on this trend i have a problem that i really need advice from u all, I met a guy that claims he love me and wants me for marriage , i do love him too but the problem here is his girl friend or i should call her ex-g/friend the girl is so obsessed about him and clings to him alot. But since we met i told him to keep a distance with me until he sort out his problem with his g/friend though he was nt happy about it. I found out about the obsession yesterday when the girl called his close friend and the friend ask me to take up the call and she was all hagging on d phone. I had to ask his friend what d problem his , that was when he told me that my boy friend and the girl has courted for 9yrs , from school days i was shocked n he said the guy never promised her marriage but she is just having an obsession, though i felt for her, she called more than 20times n d guy refuse taking the calling saying he is tired of her childish behaviour and moreover he does not kw where her man his, Though he know that his friend is so much intrested in me cos he asked me out n i told him love the friend n nt him , So i dont kw what to do, I can visit my boyfriend because of her n my guy has been affording her seriously yet she does nt want to give up, Although my b\f said i shouldnt worry about her , but as a girl i should cos he kind of want us to get married soon and i dont kw what to do

9 years It's always important to define a relationship from the beginning to avoid all this misunderstanding

You won't blame her for clinging to the man after 9years You have to separate from him for sometime and let him sort it out with his ex

This type of girls could do anything becos the guys has wasted her time and she's
So let him sort it out before you go on for your own safety. Cheers

9 yrs 
what a foolish guy to do that to a girl. why waste her time like that? i really feel for her. 

from school days i was shocked n he said the guy never promised her marriage but she is just having an obsession,

so why did he stay with her? why didn't he tell her off!?
that's cowardly behavior in my opinion. courting for 9 yrs!!

anyways it's not your fault that your caught up in d mess. so i don't really know what advice to give u except to tell your bf to find a solution to it. tell him to man up and break up with her for once. I see she's actually still his girlfriend by your topic title.
that girl is being used big time. YOu better be careful and smart.

This girl is the victim here, she was strung along for nearly 10years Who knows he may do the same to you. Personally I wouldnt be comfortable diving into a relationship with this man, who knows the woman scorned may go diabolical on the both of you .

he hasn't even broken up with the girl yet. the OP is not sure whether to call her girlfriend or ex-girlfriend. what a shame.

my guy has been avoiding her seriously yet she does nt want to give up,

that's very cowardly of ur man. you BREAK UP with a girl if you don't want her anymore. not AVOID.
who knows what he'll do to you.

Strong Advice let the man go sort himself out first the gal has been there for 10 years hows she suppossed to just get ova it.

9 yrs? dats way too long for someone who dosnt want to be with someone else to spend with the person ooo . . so after 9yrs, he decided to call it quits? how old is she? she has prolly told other guyz who wanted her then to go to hell!

I dont blame her . . i suggest u leave him for now cos with d way shez going, she'll do anything to get him back and d relationship isnt goin to be just u and him . . who knows if shez had so many abortions for him and isnt able to bear a child again. . .dat might b d reason he left  

@poster, tell me the truth.If you are in the girls shoe, what will you do? dating a guy for 9yrs and he wants to dump u, u will definitely fight to the end.YES or NO?

I don't blame the guy! I blame the girl for staying that long! The max is 2yrs. If at the end of two years the relationship isn't defined or heading any where, my dear BOUNCE!

Well, my advice may be unorthodox, BUT if you think this guy is honest and wants to be with you, then be with him.

If a guy has known a girl for a long time and decides that he does not want to be with her any more, no matter how painful it is, it is better than getting into an unhappy marriage. He will hate her more, she will be unhappy, they will have kids in a wrong environment who will be messed up because their parents had an unhealthy marriage, leading to dysfunctional relationship choices, and it just goes on.

Man tends to think short term and give wrong emotional and daft advice. It's ok to UNDERSTAND how the girl feels. But a calm, balance and informed judgment should always be the basis for decision making - not emotion and sentiments.

If it's in line with his purpose for him not to be with her, you may just be the best thing that will happen to and for him.

Cheers

u know wemen are very wicked when it comes to husband stuff, and they can go extrem lent to stop u, choose u next step carefully or it might be ur last

I really appreciate all ur post and commment @chasong tanks very much i really appreciate d post, Have given him distance for 3weeks now but the distance is really killing me now I dont want him thinking i dont care about him because he has not been calling either but when we see it tells in his face that he cares but going through emotional distress, I really dont want to lose him

But surely not all relationships lead to marriage and even if they were married, things happen, people fall out of love and may still divorce after 10 years or more, nothing is cast in stone, surely?

My dear poster, I’ll advise u to leave that relationship cuz she'll do anything to have her guy back, have been there b4, but mine was 5 years, I left them for good, now am happy with some one,

That girl will keep hunting and hunting trust me,

Come to thing of think what lead to that break-up,

And u thinks he won’t do the same to you?

Almost all the people that told you to leave this guy are f. For the fact that they were together since school days does not mean she is a wife material for him. You have heard it all that he did not propose to the girl. The girl might be the one chasing this guy from school days and the guy might have seen enough attitude that his unbearable.
When he was asking you out, is it for friendship or for a lasting relationship?
help the guy out if you really care for him. stay close to him and make him realize you are there for him.
If he is not into the ex anymore he can be pressurized to propose to her and be unhappy for the rest of his life

9yrs is too long for him to break up wit her just like that. . . My dear I suggest u give him space and let him sort himself out.

ThoniaSlim:

I don't blame the guy! I blame the girl for staying that long! The max is 2yrs. If at the end of two years the relationship isn't defined or heading any where, my dear BOUNCE!

Exactly.

Beautful.B:

My dear poster, I’ll advise u to leave that relationship cuz she'll do anything to have her guy back, have been there b4, but mine was 5 years, I left them for good, now am happy with some one,

That girl will keep hunting and hunting trust me,

Come to thing of think what lead to that break-up,

And u thinks he won’t do the same to you? 

Beautful.B
Invigorating!