JohnspeakU:
How Did You Deal With Rejection?

By Johnspeak Uwangue (Human Development Consultant, Talent Manager and Coach)

I have always been rejected at some points in my life and career. That moment when some people think that you are either not talented or qualified enough for a particular task or opportunity. My most unforgettable experience was when someone I called a friend and shared my life secrets with told me "Johnspeak, you call me your friend, have you ever asked me if I take you as a friend '?

Almost everyone has been rejected in one way or another. Either in business, Career, workplace, by families and loved ones and most commonly by a girl or a boy they've crushed on. But the problem is not being rejected but dealing and managing rejection. Rejection if not properly managed can lead to depression, withdrawal from the society or suicide.

I believe that someone somewhere is going through one form of rejection at the moment and there are also some people who will experience rejection today or tomorrow, but the truth is, rejection is not a curse but a part of life. I will like to hear real life stories by people who have experienced rejection and how they were able to deal with it.

Please keep your comments coming because a life or two might be saved from reading your experience.

Succeed You Must

I've never experienced rejection in my relationships until 2012. And it happens once. Reasons why I never experienced rejections were because most of the girls I dated were the ones dat toasted me while the few I toasted, before I do, I always got 90% assurance of acceptance because I know when to hit.

The one that rejected me did so on the grounds of age. She told me she can't date someone she is older then.

Mehn! Groeing up am always aimming big.. Most of the ladies I've dated were my seniors in age.
I love big tins oo. Even my clothes are big. I can't see myself wear pencil trouser. My shoes as a kid were always oversized.

Only two girls I've dated that were my juniors.

How I managed the rejection.

She told me we could be friends date datin won't work because she was older dan me in 3months.
I told her I don't make friends with female is either she dates me or we part ways.
She left. I deleted her numba, but kept her on my FB frnd list.

I never chatd with her.

2014 when I graduated frm MAN, got a job with one of the shipping company and started attending courses abroad, I posted my pixs on FB,

she collected my num frm a close frind called me and say her bro wants to go to MAN she wants some help and guide. I offered the help.
She started callin me, after some time she asked me abt my relationship status I told her and was single. She started sending me Good mrning sms and good night prayers.. Giving me green light but I caredless. She later gave up on me.

I was never hurt by her rejection because at den I was already havin two steady holes I was drilling on a regular.

I haven't been rejected at work place yet and I pray never to..

I learnt to say fvck this shiit, eat shiit & fvck you a long time ago. Infact rejection has rejected fvcking with me cos of what I've become

I've had this case where I had to ask this girl out, I told her i like her and all, but she told me she didn't feel the same way for me though, I had to move on, we still see on a daily basis and still talk like nothing happened, maybe she thought I'd act like other guys and start a beef or something, but I showed her I was matured enough to let it slide. P.S the vibe between the both of all was all good and positive, even my friends saw everything and asked me to shoot my shot. But long story cut short, here we are, doing our thing in sperate lanes, I didn't let it get to me. I moved on, there's a thousand and One gilrs out there waiting on guys to ask them out and stuff. Rejection is part of life, it's what builds us and makes become better people. All I'm trying to say, it's okay to be rejected at some point or another, but just act like nothing happened and move on. Its that simple.

Curry30:
I learnt to say fvck this shiit, eat shiit & fvck you a long time ago. Infact rejection has rejected fvcking with me cos of what I've become

I like this, some people just don't get it, just move on and strive to become a better person.

Babyforever:
Rule number one to be a boss ass bitch NEVER TELL A GUY HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM HE'LL TREAT YOU LIKE A RAG

That's not always true

greggng:


There was not cos something happened at the end that made me believe she regretted her action ....but I cannot feed you gullible Nigerians with that part.....Just a little suya for taste before I serve una the final menu.....she ended in my bed and the relationship didn't last cos her Bleep off was always making me feel she came for my money .....unfortunately I am not Davido that has 4billion. ....till date she still calls me my love....but I told her that love died dead and buried a long time.....is just that her kpeku she was parading by then was eventually hammered

Lol

tensazangetsu20:
My own rejection is in business. I started a business straight out of the university and in a period of 7 8 months I have gotten over 3 million in revenue. I had to raise money to expand my business. Here in Africa, most entrepreneurs raise money through competitions. I have applied to more than 50 and so far I have been rejected from them all. I managed to make it to the interview stage of two of them but still got rejected. What fuels me though is the vision i have for my business and the potentials it can achieve. Rejection should be my middle name now though . I know eventually I will get what I seek.

which business is that?

tensazangetsu20:
My own rejection is in business. I started a business straight out of the university and in a period of 7 8 months I have gotten over 3 million in revenue. I had to raise money to expand my business. Here in Africa, most entrepreneurs raise money through competitions. I have applied to more than 50 and so far I have been rejected from them all. I managed to make it to the interview stage of two of them but still got rejected. What fuels me though is the vision i have for my business and the potentials it can achieve. Rejection should be my middle name now though . I know eventually I will get what I seek.

you inspired me
can you introduce me to your business

Dyt:
OK
Let me share a story that happened a few days ago

I need a change of work place
I was so eager going for this interview
With the conviction I am getting the job
The interview went well
Like it was just left for me to sign the contract

A few days later I got a negative call
Well
I wasn't moved
But then I found out they recruited someone that wasn't even as half good as what I can offer them

It hurt me and I cried
I felt more dejected
Couldn't sleep for days like is this for real?

Hey
I am better now
I have moved on
But damn
I felt really awful

Aunty Dyt sorry about this, i do not want you to feel sad, has Greenboss reach out to you?

Let me chip in this. Rejection! I'm used to that, infact I do expect rejection but if it goes well.. Fine.. Who cares.


My best strategy after rejection..
Go take a chill bottle and pepper soup
Go watch Ball and argue for Messi and Ronaldo

Give my girl a hot Bleep

saasala:
The most painful is being rejected by a classless girl you just want to manage...

spot on

Honestly the only rejection i know.. Is only when you reject ursef.

Any other thing cant weigh me down. Its a mindset.

remi1444:
Aunty Dyt sorry about this, i do not want you to feel sad, has Greenboss reach out to you?

Green who?

His intention was to scam me
Lol
Didn't hear from him

Dyt:
OK
Let me share a story that happened a few days ago

I need a change of work place
I was so eager going for this interview
With the conviction I am getting the job
The interview went well
Like it was just left for me to sign the contract

A few days later I got a negative call
Well
I wasn't moved
But then I found out they recruited someone that wasn't even as half good as what I can offer them

It hurt me and I cried
I felt more dejected
Couldn't sleep for days like is this for real?

Hey
I am better now
I have moved on
But damn
I felt really awful

Awwwwwww pele

cruchenutii:


Awwwwwww pele

Every time I see or year awwwwww
I feel like the situation is pathetic


But its not
Flips hair

Yes
Relationship

mimimile93:


I've never experienced rejection in my relationships until 2012. And it happens once. Reasons why I never experienced rejections were because most of the girls I dated were the ones dat toasted me while the few I toasted, before I do, I always got 90% assurance of acceptance because I know when to hit.

The one that rejected me did so on the grounds of age. She told me she can't date someone she is older then.

Mehn! Groeing up am always aimming big.. Most of the ladies I've dated were my seniors in age.
I love big tins oo. Even my clothes are big. I can't see myself wear pencil trouser. My shoes as a kid were always oversized.

Only two girls I've dated that were my juniors.

How I managed the rejection.

She told me we could be friends date datin won't work because she was older dan me in 3months.
I told her I don't make friends with female is either she dates me or we part ways.
She left. I deleted her numba, but kept her on my FB frnd list.

I never chatd with her.

2014 when I graduated frm MAN, got a job with one of the shipping company and started attending courses abroad, I posted my pixs on FB,

she collected my num frm a close frind called me and say her bro wants to go to MAN she wants some help and guide. I offered the help.
She started callin me, after some time she asked me abt my relationship status I told her and was single. She started sending me Good mrning sms and good night prayers.. Giving me green light but I caredless. She later gave up on me.

I was never hurt by her rejection because at den I was already havin two steady holes I was drilling on a regular.

I haven't been rejected at work place yet and I pray never to..

I hope you know this isn't the kind of rejection we are talking about. When you get Career rejections, you will discover that what so ever Relationship rejection you had was just a tip of the ice berg.

Anyway, I'm overly happy that you rejected that lady, People need to feel the same rejection they give. Very necessary.

greggng:
The incident happened when I was in 100level. I met this beautiful angel that ended up rejecting my offer of sincere love. A few months later, her girl friend told me about her birthday and I decided to send a gift worth 20k and I attached a note to it.....it reads you are the greatest loser....you are worth more than this ....if only you are goid to me.....

What does that mean And what happened after...?

Btw, it's a good thing she rejected you though

Dyt:


Every time I see or year awwwwww
I feel like the situation is pathetic


But its not
Flips hair

Yea it's not because time has made the occurrence less pathetic. I'm sure you weren't saying this at the time it happened.

------------------------------------------------------------ Well, time has reduced the thought now. I'm fine.

Been rejected countless times. What I do? I have a good whinge and a cry but I try to avoid internalising the rejection and thinking it is a reflection of my worth. Then I move on but taking the lessons with me to avoid the same pitfall in future.
I'm a firm believer of there being a lesson in every situation so I try to identify them to turn a negative experience into a source of something positive in the future for myself.

My most recent rejection Work wise:
I was in my final year at uni and had applied for this grad job (one of many but the only one to invite me for an assessment day/interview). This was an industry I had worked in previously and knew loads about except that this time around, a grad job would be able able to get me into more senior roles with time (my previous experience was in front line roles, so basically one of the dogs bodies).
I thought I was in with a chance, I rocked up and found out that I was the only applicant with a business related degree, the rest were like criminology, history etc. Went through the whole day, had my interview which was longer than the other applicants. I was feeling good only to get the call afterwards that I was unsuccessful. So one of the other applicants I thought were not so good must have got the job.

I was sad and took a break from applying for jobs for a few months. After about 7 months, I dusted myself off and started trying again. The first job I applied for, I saw the ad but didn't think much of it because though it was a well known brand (known around the world), they used a recruitment agency to place the ad so I thought it could be a scam but went for it anyways and forgot about it.

Then I got an invite to do the online tests. But as part of my preparation for this round of job applications, I had paid for a site where you could access test questions to practice so had already brushed up on that score. I did the tests thinking it would serve as practice for other jobs I was applying for.

In that time as well, I'd applied to Shell and done their assessments which I aced and moved on to the next stage of their recruitment. There I was waiting for an email from them, checking my mails every day but saw nothing. Finally, an email came through saying that I'd missed the deadline to complete the next set of assessment (a video interview) . I was like wtf? I hadn't received anything mails. Went back trawling through my mails, saw nothing only to just have a look in my junk mail and lo and behold, there was the email they had sent. It has gone to my junkmail not my inbox, so I missed out on that.
Devastation is understatement. In that same junkmail, I saw that the first company I'd applied to had also sent an invite for their video interview which had to be completed within 5 days of the mail being sent. This was two weeks after. It seemed my village people were doing overtime on my case.

Sharply, I called up asking if I could still do it, spoke to a nice lady who said I could because they were still progressing other people to that stage. I heaved a sigh of relief.
Possible rejection avoided.
To be continued...

cruchenutii:


Yea it's not because time has made the occurrence less pathetic. I'm sure you weren't saying this at the time it happened.

I had a job rejection last yr, I nearly committed suicide. Well, time has reduced the thought now. I'm fine.

At first
I didn't feel bad
But when I heard who got the job
It hit me
Like I need to ask the principal WHY the other applicant


It has shaped me that after every interview and they ask any question
I will ask them if I don't get this job, what could be the reason

Like Why won't I get this job?
Put me on hot seat
I put you on same

Dyt:


At first
I didn't feel bad
But when I heard who got the job
It hit me
Like I need to ask the principal WHY the other applicant


It has shaped me that after every interview and they ask any question
I will ask them if I don't get this job, what could be the reason

Like Why won't I get this job?
Put me on hot seat
I put you on same

Employers don't usually tell you what the reason is. Most times they already have a Candidate & you're just a side-applicant in case their main Candidate don't show up or moved on to another job.

shaybebaby:

Sharply, I called up asking if I could still do it, spoke to a nice lady who said I could because they were still progressing other people to that stage. I heaved a sigh of relief.
Possible rejection avoided.
To be continued...

Is this a Fictional story ?

cruchenutii:


Is this a Fictional story ?

Nope, this is an autobiography of my battle against my village people.

No jokes though, this happened to me.

slydog:


I just got rejected by a girl I heavily crushed on, first she say she can't date me cos I'm Yoruba, (she's igbo), today after much talking she says no, she's in a serious relationship. I'm sad

Sorry bro. Tribe based dating is still well and alive in naija and it's sad. But look well,you go find better person. Who knows what you got saved from, being with her might have been a horrible experience.

Continued...
Now technology has made recruitment such that at these initial stages of applying, you do not get to see or even sniff another human being. Its all computer and if you got rejected, its a case of "computer says no"!

Hence I discovered that this "video interview" was another extension of that. Where previously, it was done via video call (Skype etc) where there was an actual person asking questions in real time time, it is different now.

You have to download an app which contained the questions. You cant launch the app until you are ready to record your answers. So no sneak peeking at the questions to go off an practice your answers. Once it was launched, it gave you 90 secs to read the questions and compose yourself and then 3 mins to answer the question whilst recording.Your answer must not be less that 60secs and no, if you fluff it, you cannot re-record it.

Once you are done, you upload the recording and I guess someone would review it at their convenience. Probably with a bowl of popcorn whilst watching applicants sound like idiots talking to nobody.

So I started practicing talking infront of the mirror, all the while feeling foolish and my partner not helping because he would just start laughing everytime I opened my mouth.

The more I practiced, the more I fumbled so I decided to just go for it that morning. I dressed in my smart clothes, applied make-up only to sit at my dining table for my interview staring into my phone. I had tidied up so that the interviewers wouldn't see an untidy background, picked a spot with good lighting and thought I was set to begin.

Once the app was launched, it gave you about three practice questions you could do over and over again and then when you felt ready, move on the main event. So I was practicing that one, and asked my partner for space and quiet to get my mind right.

But this didn't help my nerves and so I decided ro just bite bullet and get it over with quickly. Que sera sera!

I started my "interview" and recording, started feeling like this is not so bad, I was able to get the words out. I was getting in the zone. Only for my partner to bust in and start asking me foolish questions; "babe, what should we eat?", opening and shutting the fridge loudly whilst I was recording!

I couldn't even speak, was just giving him evil eyes to say "shut up, I am recording". Bear in mind that you do not have the option of re-recording. I was soo ooooo ooo furious, for the rest of the interview, I lost complete track of what I was saying. I got through it somehow but I was convinced that was the end of the road for me.

I lashed out at home, crying, screaming, I could have killed him. We had a massive fight that day with him saying he didn't know I was recording. Anyways, I wrote it off and started focusing on other applications.

A week later, I got a mail to say I'd made it through to the final stage and assessment day. I couldn't believe it! Maybe the reviewer took pity on me, I have no idea.

Then my assessment was book for two months later. About a week before, I got a call from the agency saying that the company had been disappointed in some of the candidates, and she proceeded to give some kind of expo on what to expect during the interview. I was shook! Oyinbo people don't do such but I guess my batch was last of the people to be assessed so she wanted their agency to save face otherwise their contract would be terminated. Who knows!

Anyways, I turned up for the assessment, it started at half 8 in the morning and lasted till half 4 in the afternoon. Role play exercise, presentation, in-tray exercise, group exercise, interview and lastly a self reflection exercise. I muddled through, just going on auto-pilot.

It was only the interview that I enjoyed by me and my interviewer so clicked to the extent we were chatting about what presents to buy his mother-in-law.

Anyways, my story is long so to end it, it ends well. I strong pass my village people because I got a call the following day with an offer. A week later contracts were signed.

I start in 5 weeks.

shaybebaby:
Been rejected countless times. What I do? I have a good whinge and a cry but I try to avoid internalising the rejection and thinking it is a reflection of my worth. Then I move on but taking the lessons with me to avoid the same pitfall in future.
I'm a firm believer of there being a lesson in every situation so I try to identify them to turn a negative experience into a source of something positive in the future for myself.

My most recent rejection Work wise:
I was in my final year at uni and had applied for this grad job (one of many but the only one to invite me for an assessment day/interview). This was an industry I had worked in previously and knew loads about except that this time around, a grad job would be able able to get me into more senior roles with time (my previous experience was in front line roles, so basically one of the dogs bodies).
I thought I was in with a chance, I rocked up and found out that I was the only applicant with a business related degree, the rest were like criminology, history etc. Went through the whole day, had my interview which was longer than the other applicants. I was feeling good only to get the call afterwards that I was unsuccessful. So one of the other applicants I thought were not so good must have got the job.

I was sad and took a break from applying for jobs for a few months. After about 7 months, I dusted myself off and started trying again. The first job I applied for, I saw the ad but didn't think much of it because though it was a well known brand (known around the world), they used a recruitment agency to place the ad so I thought it could be a scam but went for it anyways and forgot about it.

Then I got an invite to do the online tests. But as part of my preparation for this round of job applications, I had paid for a site where you could access test questions to practice so had already brushed up on that score. I did the tests thinking it would serve as practice for other jobs I was applying for.

In that time as well, I'd applied to Shell and done their assessments which I aced and moved on to the next stage of their recruitment. There I was waiting for an email from them, checking my mails every day but saw nothing. Finally, an email came through saying that I'd missed the deadline to complete the next set of assessment (a video interview) . I was like wtf? I hadn't received anything mails. Went back trawling through my mails, saw nothing only to just have a look in my junk mail and lo and behold, there was the email they had sent. It has gone to my junkmail not my inbox, so I missed out on that.
Devastation is understatement. In that same junkmail, I saw that the first company I'd applied to had also sent an invite for their video interview which had to be completed within 5 days of the mail being sent. This was two weeks after. It seemed my village people were doing overtime on my case.

Sharply, I called up asking if I could still do it, spoke to a nice lady who said I could because they were still progressing other people to that stage. I heaved a sigh of relief.
Possible rejection avoided.
To be continued...

Hehe Shaybebaby Oooh!!!

franzeezco:


Hehe Shaybebaby Oooh!!!

Thunder fire rejection!

1Sharon:


You wanted to date a classless girl, what does that say about you?

Says everything about him

Audray:

Sorry bro. Tribe based dating is still well and alive in naija and it's sad. But look well,you go find better person. Who knows what you got saved from, being with her might have been a horrible experience.

Thanks for ur good words

Simple ... Contact the guy that developed Whatsapp ... he will answer this question

Uncountable times, keep trying, sometimes love happens when you don't expect it. Even though I don't believe in love.