1. No best friend!

A company/firm can be likened unto a country with different ethnicities. Alliance to one ethnic group may mean defiance to some/others as the case may be. Radiate the same degree of allegiance to everyone, don’t be close to a particular individual, trust me, eyes are watching you!

2. Nobility is a scarce resource, one you must have!

Are you the type that leaves food leftovers on lunch tables after break; of course who cares, the cleaners would attend to that. It is only noble and professional that even those people are below you, you gotta give some respect and show them you are not one of those assholes. Did you spill tea on the floor, grab the mop and diy!

3. Never give audience to the gossipy mates:

The rule is: if he/she can gossip about others to you, he/she can gossip you to others. When such people come with their usual talks, politely avoid them and pretend you have something to do even if you don’t! Do not give in because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings, maintain your stand!

4. Never bell the cat!

If a boss is erring, never be the one to let it out. You are not a town crier or newscaster. If it is so important that it cannot wait, do well to report such anonymously! Trust me, that erring boss has another superior boss who will stop at nothing to burn pointing fingers. Don’t be a smart fool!

5. Never defaecate near your dining!

Whatever brings you food, even if it’s business, never do shitty deals near such. Learn to master your heart; be logical, be a master at switching off and on romantic mode. Whoever is giving you green signal, be quick to respond in halogen powered red lights. Office romance never ends well. While money-bred hate might be deadly, romance-bred hate is deadlier. Every romance has expiry date, what then happens after expiration?

6. Never be a pawn!

You were asked to come sign/ratify on behalf of one of the absent bosses and you are already thinking high of yourself to have been called upon in such situation; my friend; go and read about Atiku and his PDTF ordeal.

7. Zip your mouth:

Trust me, a single clause can have 5 different meanings, who knows which of the meanings would reflect on listeners’ mind? Shut your mouth and open it when it’s pertinent. When asked for your opinion, tell them you have none, it doesn’t mean you are not wise. Don’t be quick to smear your intelligence at people’s face, trust me, some don’t care and some extremely bitter souls don’t give a bleep. Don’t get into trouble, don’t settle fights, you are not Jesus and you ain’t no mediator. Let whichever party who wanna fight; remember, fighters only disturb everyone when it’s bitter, they’d never call when it is/was sweet!


Add yours!

FTC

i dedicate this to all those who lost their lives in the plateau massacre.

Eziokwu

hmm... 0130293627gtb just 3k please

Everything highlighted there is very valid...I have come to realize there is no friendship in office except colleagues...office romance doesn’t end well, so true..this is one of the silly mistakes people make...if ure caught in the web, u may never enjoy the work again especially if it’s a girl ur manager has been on her neck, u May be frustrated out of the job. I have learnt from this.

Office politics is the best.. am the jack bauer of the game

If u know u know.

This is cool and true

Wise counsel, he who have ears, let him hear

3 and 7 is very paramount, it will keep you away from trouble.

Never toast your madam or even date anyone there.

Interesting

DonFreshmoney:
Office politics is the best.. am the jack bauer of the game

If u know u know.

Yes we know. Ass licking and backstabbing

Office politics is even more dangerous than Abuja politics

A friend of mine was jisting me about how her crafty boss set a trap for her because he wants to bring in his candidate and have a tenable excuse to lay her off and some other targets

So he called for an office meeting of all the staff and said he has been noticing that there's not much friendly relationship between his employees and he's not happy about that. He now called her name. This was how it went

Boss: teniola
Teniola: sir

Boss: You have been working here for the past 5 years and you have done well so far and contributed your expertise to the development of this company so I want to promote you to xyz position however, look at all these employees well, who do you want that will work with you and will be obedient to you and not disrespectful. Someone you can talk with and he or she will listen.chose from amongst these categories
Boss points his hands towards groups of people seated at the other end. (The people he pointed to have masters degrees) but she has only bsc with experience. According to the boss he said these are just fresh msc holders just fresh from school with no job experience whatsoever so I want them to learn on the job from you

Teniola knew that was a lie and he was just using that excuse to camouflage his real motive

This was because teniola had earlier complained that her surbodinates are rude and disrespectful to her ,now the boss is like the proverbial chief that put a hole on the ground and asked the man to seat on a chair where there's hole on the ground. He wants her to by herself make the choice so she won't have the justification to complain or reprimand them when they misbehave and the boss will be like shebi you complained the other time that Mr A was rude to you, now I gave you the opportunity to choose from people who are more educationally qualified even than you to work with you since they will show more maturity and you are complaining again. That shows your own is too much or you sef get problem and you're not a good leader that can carry everyone along. So I would like you to step aside so another person more qualified can take up the job. THAT WAS HIS END GAME

what then did teniola do. She said

Thank you sir for giving me this great privilege to choose from amongst these intelligent men and ladies you recommended to work with me but can you give me some time to think about it before I make my final choice?

Boss: OK but I give you a week

Fast forward to a week

Boss: so what's your conclusion, who will make a good surbodinate for you?

To be continued

Nice one! *Thumbs up, Op.

When i read it, the book titled 'Mafia Manager' comes to mind.

I don't play office politics,

Money is not everything my son

Remember one day we will give account to our maker

Kama pays very fast

We need some post on how to play Nairaland politics so that...

Wish i knew these tips before my first Job,
I hate being caught up in Office politics .. Its shitty.. But you have no option

anaton:


Yes we know. Ass licking and backstabbing

Look atyew.. Cos u do it doesn't mean everyone does. Office politics is like a chess game, beat or get beaten

What is the story of Atiku and PDTF @op


Nice write up.

Very solid Post. OP did a good job

Ok

lostluggage:
Wish i knew these tips before my first Job,
I hate being caught up in Office politics .. Its shitty.. But you have no option

the best way avoid office politics is

MIND YOUR BUISNESS AND STAY ON YOUR LANE. don't be to close to any colleague and don't be too distant from them. Just maintain a balance

If they invite you for their wedding just use style and tell the boss in a lighter note possibly after meeting. In the presence of everyone so that no one will think you are doing abosi or eye service . E. g oga Anita said shes getting married next Saturday o. She has even brought her aso ebi and I have bought it sir. Then tell Anita in obas presence, congrats Anita. Happy married life and then leave

Secondly don't ever beg, borrow or lend money to any colleague. All those things breed unnecessary familiarity and office politics

Don't club, party or go to any colleagues house to gossip about a fellow colleague

Don't date a colleagues husband or wife.its breeds disgusting drama

Don't fok in the office. No matter how big her ass is

Don't ever embezzle Or borrow company money to start or fund your own BUISNESS, build a house or buy a car. Such investments are dangerous and breeds embarrassment and disrespect when oga finds out even if you pay back

Dont ever date ogas daughter. You are crossing the line.it breeds office politics because the boss will be monitoring your every move and the moment you don't marry his daughter, you Don buy market for that company

Follow these rules and live tense if you don't have options.

Or just be yourself and let the chips fall where they will.

Lovely!

I love this

Op, this list is more of how to avoid office politics. You have not stated how to actually play office politics: such as how to deal with the power people, the lower cadre etc. Not everyone will like you. Some will be against you, others will want your spot/job. These will not save you.

Spot on.

dangotesmummy:
the best way avoid office politics is

MIND YOUR BUISNESS AND STAY ON YOUR LANE. don't be to close to any colleague and don't be too distant from them. Just maintain a balance

If they invite you for their wedding just use style and tell the boss in a lighter note possibly after meeting. In the presence of everyone so that no one will think you are doing abosi or eye service . E. g oga Anita said shes getting married next Saturday o. She has even brought her aso ebi and I have bought it sir. Then tell Anita in obas presence, congrats Anita. Happy married life and then leave

Secondly don't ever beg, borrow or lend money to any colleague. All those things breed unnecessary familiarity and office politics

Don't club, party or go to any colleagues house to gossip about a fellow colleague

Don't date a colleagues husband or wife.its breeds disgusting drama

Don't fok in the office. No matter how big her ass is

Don't ever embezzle Or borrow company money to start or fund your own BUISNESS, build a house or buy a car. Such investments are dangerous and breeds embarrassment and disrespect when oga finds out even if you pay back

Dont ever date ogas daughter. You are crossing the line.it breeds office politics because the boss will be monitoring your every move and the moment you don't marry his daughter, you Don buy market for that company

Thanks boss.. Really helpful