The mystery of why people divorce is worryingly Googled, furiously mulled over and frantically discussed - but no one seems to get any closer.

Whatever insight scientific studies might give, it's hard to relate hard, cold facts to our heated emotional lives.

But poet Taylor Myers gets straight to the the heart of the sticky matter in a viral Tumblr post, where she shared her existential fear about love.

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life.
Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

The accuracy actually hurts a bit.

She had no idea the post would take off this much, so she wrote a follow-up post to clarify a few things about the class and the love lessons she learned.
Describing how their teacher asked the class about their marriages, she said feels the class had a huge influence over her view of love:

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.
She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.
Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.
The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.
The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.
Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.
I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

https://www.indy100.com/article/tumblr-divorce-reason-love-explained-why-8497181?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm

This just changed my view

Love is a choice.

Happiness is a choice

tolugar:
This just changed my view

Love is a choice.

Happiness is a choice

true

Plenty story 4 small divorce,noting concern vulture wit barbing saloon,wen I c wife I go read am.

The ultimate redpill is realising that Love is not enough.

Love truely is all about choice...it is better to be divorced 100times..than to stay in one and die.

Agboki:
Plenty story 4 small divorce,noting concern vulture wit barbing saloon,wen I c wife I go read am.

Hahaha bro's you funny

Amazing write up

Sadly Hollywood has successfully painted an embellished notion of Love and happy endings in our minds. So it's now all about what makes your heart Flutters.

Hmmm...




Just finished reading and I realized that the story is the same old story that's seasoned with sentiments, painted genuine and recycled.
It makes no difference and I'm upset with myself for wasting my precious time reading it.

Agboki:
Plenty story 4 small divorce,noting concern vulture wit barbing saloon,wen I c wife I go read am.

lmfao who's this guy

Skylarking:
Hmmm...




Just finished reading and I realized that the story is the same old story that's seasoned with sentiments, painted genuine and recycled.
It makes no difference and I'm upset with myself for wasting my precious time reading it.

A mistake many articles here has taught me never to make a again. What I do is read the first two paragraphs,if it doesn't appeal,I close it,if it does I jump to the middle,if it still makes sense I jump to the last paragraph.