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She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Quser(m): 6:16am On Jun 26, 2010 |
I have never posted here, but I need some opinions. I met my girl some years ago. We have had our ups and down, but finally I proposed to her recently, The only problem is that she wants to pick the best man. She said this guy was her best friend for a long time, they went to school together and still keep in touch, she had promised him he was going be her best even before she met me. Naturally, I was apprehensive, because its the place of the groom to pick his best man; but she insisted that this would really make her happy and even suggested I pick the bridesmaid. When I declined she got really angry and when I asked why this was such a big deal, she got so defensive and vehemently angry. Dont get me wrong, she is a very decent person and we love each other so much. I find it really strange that this should be a big deal, but I also silently wonder if i am over reacting. What do you guys think? Is this a common practice? Am I just being old fashioned? |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Acidosis(m): 6:29am On Jun 26, 2010 |
Its like you wanna marry 2 people- your wife and the best man. Don't Try It! |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Gbemyte(f): 7:52am On Jun 26, 2010 |
Hm! @poster. U av 2 b very careful. Wueva dat s goin 2 b ur best man must b som1 u knw,trust. Av u met d guy, ar u comfortable wit him? If ur ans 2 dose qs is NO, den sit ha(fiancee) down talk 2 ha dat u wil lyk 2 use som1 u knw cos he s goin slip at ur place. B watchful nd handle it gently. Gudluck. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Africanqueen2(f): 8:05am On Jun 26, 2010 |
Talk to the said best man as a guy, tell him u feel uncomfortable using him as best man but u don't want to hurt ur fiancee's feeling. If he's a mature and civilised guy he'll refuse the offer of best man to ur fiancee. If not still don't use him. Explain gently to ur fiancee she may fuss but she'll come arround. Find another useful role for her said best friend |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by saintneo(m): 9:21am On Jun 26, 2010 |
let the guy be the bridesmaid pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by piccadot(f): 1:49pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Acidosis(m): 2:21pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
piccadot:Gbam!!! 1 Like |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Pweety4me(f): 2:23pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
saintneo: |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by iice(f): 5:22pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
Why can't he be her man of honor? 1 Like |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by deniyor: 5:42pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
NO F, ing WAY. This is a start of things to come. slowly she will try to unsurp ur responsibilities or tell you to replace your friends and family with hers or those of her choosing. I always tell people, what you can not take in the long run, never accept it even for a second to please her. It's your choice to pick not hers. You want to fashi your own friends and family for some other guy! C'mon grow a pair ALREADY! iice: There you go! If he is that important to her, let her forgo her bridesmaids instead. But I am guessing she wants to have her cake and eat it. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Sauron1: 5:45pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
Quser: You have over-reacted. Let her choose the best man. . . . . U must also choose the bridesmaid(one of your pretty exes). When she starts chatting with the best man, you should also turn to the bridesmaid and crack old stories. . . . What is good for the goose. . . . . 1 Like |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Faher(m): 6:03pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
@OP, This is where you start becoming a man in this relationship Stand your ground. Her best friend my foot, haha who knows what he'll become next. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by boomii(f): 8:18pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
iice:Just like the movie 'Made of honor' @OP. It doesn't sound like a good Idea so don't give in. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by ThoniaSlim(f): 8:36pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
That's a selfish move there! Stand your ground! |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Diva20(f): 8:40pm On Jun 26, 2010 |
That's really sketchy. I think you should take her offer and pick the bridesmaid. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Rocktation(f): 10:18am On Jun 27, 2010 |
If it isn't a big deal, then why the hesitation? Just allow her jare. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Hotstepper(f): 7:41pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
wow, this is weird, how can she choose who will be your own best man? Please there is a hidden agenda. As someone already suggested, tell her you have already promised someone. Mehn, its not like shes asking for the guy to be part of the groom's men but BEST MAN! My advice, DO NOT AGREE |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by iice(f): 1:26am On Jun 28, 2010 |
boomii: Would life imitate art? |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by PokerFace(f): 1:32am On Jun 28, 2010 |
Something fishy is smelling? Can anyone else perceive the odor? |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by coolier(f): 2:34am On Jun 28, 2010 |
Quser: I take it you don't know him and you must have your own pals. African_queen: You have no business with him and you don't owe him any explanations, make it crystal clear to your fiancee you cannot have him as your best man and leave it to her to explain to him, he's her friend not yours! |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Einstein(m): 2:41am On Jun 28, 2010 |
This is an acid test for you. In your best interest, do not give in to her wish. If you can stand your ground now, she will grasp the idea of how manly you are. Women go beyond limits when they are given a tiny fragment of an opportunity. This is your marriage, and you ought to be the man and the lead. This does not, in any way, suggest that you are dogged and unchangeable. More important, I feel you have to investigate the nature of the relationship between the proposed best man and your fiancee. There may be more to it. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Einstein(m): 3:07am On Jun 28, 2010 |
~Sauron~: Never have a mind of "what is sauce for goose is sauce for the gander." Good marriages do not ride on ti/t-for-tat. If you go this lane, you will burn yourselves out. 1 Like |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by spoilt(f): 3:39am On Jun 28, 2010 |
Your girl is full of it. Isnt your best man supposed to be your best buddy? Like play play you'll let her put her ex in a suit and make his stand beside you? |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Nobody: 6:33am On Jun 28, 2010 |
@poster IMHO tell your gal that her friend can be part of the GROOMSMEN but the BESTMAN position would have to be who YOU see fit for this very important and personal duty. the best man has to know you personally and dearly as he will have to say the bestman's speech at the recption. the bestman will have to also take care of everything for the groom especially so on wedding day when last minutes stress might creep in on him. his job will be to make sure that the groom worries about nothing else than to say "I DO". also the bestman is the one who will arrange the Bachelor party and you dont want a stranger who doesnt know you to do that. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Nobody: 12:27pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
What's the big deal? If you dont already have someone really close to you who you've always wanted as a best man, yu might as well let her! The way I see it, no harm could possibly come out of it! |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by petebor02(m): 12:35pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
see if i were u,infact the marriage seize to hold |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Pweety4me(f): 12:37pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
Einstein:True dat. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Sauron1: 2:36pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
Einstein: Then let it FUCKIN burn. . . . . |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by Kgdavid(m): 3:36pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
What right does she have to promise to give out something she does not own? and what kind of silly guy accepts such a promise and actually holds on to it? if she wants she should give the guy the position of being the one to give her away instead of her father. i cant imagine accepting an offer from a female friend to be the best man of a fellow i do not know.anyway it depends on you cuz she offered a trade but if you do accept it should not be because she promised some fellow anything. what if she promised him he could come on the honeymoon and share your bed as well? the best man is a very intimate position and hopefully you have only one opportunity to give this to someone, usually your best friend. tell your girlfriend to grow up or is having her best friend as your best man more important than having you as her husband? |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by blankees(m): 4:55pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
Quser: Promise my foot. How can u make such a promise to someone without the consent of ur Husband to be. Shez bin selfish in doing that, dat means she doesnt have ur interest at heart. I sense she is da type that always wants things to go in her favour. She wants to take ur own n take hers too as well. Guy u need to be careful about that, probably he is her ex. I dont see the reason why u said maybe u over reacted, infact i'll say u'v not done anything yet, cos i feel dis is something u r not suppose to think twice about. The earlier u start been strict in making and standing on ur decisions, the better for u. To me "IT IS NOT NEGOTIABLE AT ALL." If she doesnt want it, then wateva comes up, its her cup. 1 Like |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by blankees(m): 4:59pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
Ujujoan:How can u say something like this, r u saying da poster doesnt hav a friend so close dat cud be his best man, i hope ur husband -to- be chooses ur Chief Bridesmaid, then u'll know wat it means. |
Re: She Wants To Pick The Best Man by yme1(f): 7:24pm On Jun 28, 2010 |
she picks the best man you pick the bridesmaid. . . . NO MORE NO LESS |
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