Hello husbands!

Please I want to know y'all experiences concerning this particular issue.

I was on a call with a friend an hour ago.
He asked me to send him some money before he dies. I asked him what the matter was, he told me RESPONSIBILITIES will kill him. I asked him to explain what he meant by responsibilities will kill him.

He told me his father in-law is sick and the bills on him. His wife's elder bro passed out from NYSC last yr Nov and since Jan this yr he came for visit in his house, he has not gone. He's in his house and he do gives him 20k monthly for pocket money. His wife's younger sis who is in school also looks up to him for upkeep. His children will resume schools next month. His wife went back to further her studies. Everything on him.

He said his advice to young men is never to get married to girls from an average or poor family. They should aim for the rich family. That once a man gets married to a girl from a poor family, he automatically becomes responsible for the wife's family financially.

I also I've seen this thing happened to my uncles.
Two of my uncles, they moment the got married to their wives from an average family, they stopped paying attention to their family and focused their energy and attention on their wives families. Some of their wives relatives stay with them.

They became responsible for their wives siblings education and other stuffs.
One even sent his wife's brother for a training abroad.

What are y'all experiences?

What advice can you give to young men who have intention of getting married?

Should they aim for the rich family?

Responsibilities can make a man dies before his time.

What are your take on this?


N/B: Husbands only...

Since I'm not a husband yet, lemme come and be going

MesuitOzil:
Since I'm not a husband yet, lemme come and be going

Do you know anyone who has experienced this? Taking his wife's family's financial burden on him?

People do this and funny enough they don't complain. So if you can ASSIST comfortably not against your wish or grudgingly then why not. They are your family too

Its pretty easy.

He should simply stop catering for the needs of his wife's siblings.

Afterall, if he wasn't there to do that, won't they all find their ways?

I'm a husband and I don't take bullshit from any inlaws. Not even from my family.

Everybody is responsible for their life and nobody should come and kill me with financial stress.

If he keeps acting "uncle theophilus" the ever nice provider, he will surely die one day.

milemimi93:


Do you know anyone who has experienced this? Taking his wife's family's financial burden on him?

@milemimi93

Very Funny Question ..

Who's that foolish man that will die because of SOMEONE ELSE problem.

If they ask you tell them NO..Nobody has access to ur ATM except U.

Kill yourself na and UR own wife/her family/ur brothers / your kids / ur parent / will all MOVE ON.

My observation is this, when you are broke as a husband and your wife people told you to come and collect #1million naira,will you accept the offer or decline?
if you will accept it, don't complain if your in-laws depends on you.
If you don't accept it, you're free to grumble if your in-laws depends on you!

No, not all husbands experience this!

Not all wives from average/poor families and their relations lack dignity and self-respect!

chiommy123:
People do this and funny enough they don't complain. So if you can ASSIST comfortably not against your wish or grudgingly then why not. They are your family too

The ones dat do not complain probably have fat pockets.

If I have d guap, why not? I'll surely assist. Because they are all family. Marryin their daughter/sister means I'm indirectly marrying them.

My qustn was, should one find love in 'The rich family' and ignored 'the poor fam' to avoid this problem of taking up his wife's family's burden?

greatgod2012:
No, not all husbands experience this!

Not all wives from average/poor families and their relations lack dignity and self-respect!

Thank u dear.

royalguy123:
My observation is this, when you are broke as a husband and your wife people told you to come and collect #1million naira,will you accept the offer or decline?
if you will accept it, don't complain if your in-laws depends on you.
If you don't accept it, you're free to grumble if your in-laws depends on you!

Marry from a rich fam according to my frnd doesn't mean u should marry from a rich fam so u will fall on them when the storm hits u. But to avoid unwanted responsibilities.

Why go to ur in-laws when broke?

What happens to getting load from ur bank or your friends?

U sayin among all ur frnds none is capable to get ur ass outta the storm?

milemimi93:


The ones dat do not complain probably have fat pockets.

If I have d guap, why not? I'll surely assist. Because they are all family. Marryin their daughter/sister means I'm indirectly marrying them.

My qustn was, should one find love in 'The rich family' and ignored 'the poor fam' to avoid this problem of taking up his wife's family's burden?

I will say marry someone you love irrespective of the family is rich or not assist in your own little way when there's need for it.

bigl:
Its pretty easy.

He should simply stop catering for the needs of his wife's siblings.

Afterall, if he wasn't there to do that, won't they all find their ways?

I'm a husband and I don't take bullshit from any inlaws. Not even from my family.

Everybody is responsible for their life and nobody should come and kill me with financial stress.

If he keeps acting "uncle theophilus" the ever nice provider, he will surely die one day.

It's not easy as u think o. Except ur wife is someone who is understanding.

Most women if u don't attend to their family needs especially when they know u are capable, d start acting up.

chiommy123:
I will say marry someone you love irrespective of the family is rich or not assist in your own little way when there's need for it.

u got a point.

tritritri:




@milemimi93

Very Funny Question ..

Who's that foolish man that will die because of SOMEONE ELSE problem.

If they ask you tell them NO..Nobody has access to ur ATM except U.

Kill yourself na and UR own wife/her family/ur brothers / your kids / ur parent / will all MOVE ON.

All these men that always want to please their wivies at all cost would not listen to this ur advice.

milemimi93:


Thank u dear.

You're welcome dear!

We have so many families who don't joke with their families' dignity and good name

There are many FILs who won't collect anything from their SILs, and even if they will collect, they'll make sure they've given you gifts that is ×10 more than what you want to give them.

Some MILs will make sure their visits are never beyond 48 hours just to avoid becoming a burden to their SILs.

There are even some wive's father that won't allow you to pay for their daughter's school fees if it happens the girl got married before graduation, claiming no man should take up their responsibilities.


Some FILs will not even allow the younger sisters/brothers to spend more than three days in their elder sister's matrimonial homes and even as they'd be going, not with empty hands



All these measures because these families, though, not very rich but don't play with their families' dignity and good name.

It now depends on man who's looking for a wife to do his home works thoroughly as regards the type of family to pick a wife from!

If she's a woman you love, set your boundaries before tying the knot, if she disagree, it's left for you to continue or not!

So, again, not all husbands experience this!

greatgod2012:




You're welcome dear!

We have so many families who don't joke with their families' dignity and good name

There are many FILs who won't collect anything from their SILs, and even if they will collect, they'll make sure they've given you gifts that is ×10 more than what you want to give them.

Some MILs will make sure their visits are never beyond 48 hours just to avoid becoming a burden to their SILs.

There are even some wive's father that won't allow you to pay for their daughter's school fees if it happens the girl got married before graduation, claiming no man should take up their responsibilities.


Some FILs will not even allow the younger sisters/brothers to spend more than three days in their elder sister's matrimonial homes and even as they'd be going, not with empty hands



All these measures because these families, though, not very rich but don't play with their families' dignity and good name.

It now depends on man who's looking for a wife to do his home works thoroughly as regards the type of family to pick a wife from!

If she's a woman you love, set your boundaries before tying the knot, if she disagree, it's left for you to continue or not!

So, again, not all husbands experience this!

u are right.

milemimi93:


It's not easy as u think o. Except ur wife is someone who is understanding.

Most women if u don't attend to their family needs especially when they know u are capable, d start acting up.

Of course, I know its not easy but bros, if you want peace, prepare for war.

Or else they will kill you with responsibilities and at the end, such man's life won't have any meaning.

bigl:


Of course, I know its not easy but bros, if you want peace, prepare for war.

Or else they will kill you with responsibilities and at the end, such man's life won't have any meaning.

REAL TALK!

milemimi93:
Hello husbands!

Please I want to know y'all experiences concerning this particular issue.

I was on a call with a friend an hour ago.
He asked me to send him some money before he dies. I asked him what the matter was, he told me RESPONSIBILITIES will kill him. I asked him to explain what he meant by responsibilities will kill him.

He told me his father in-law is sick and the bills on him. His wife's elder bro passed out from NYSC last yr Nov and since Jan this yr he came for visit in his house, he has not gone. He's in his house and he do gives him 20k monthly for pocket money. His wife's younger sis who is in school also looks up to him for upkeep. His children will resume schools next month. His wife went back to further her studies. Everything on him.

He said his advice to young men is never to get married to girls from an average or poor family. They should aim for the rich family. That once a man gets married to a girl from a poor family, he automatically becomes responsible for the wife's family financially.

I also I've seen this thing happened to my uncles.
Two of my uncles, they moment the got married to their wives from an average family, they stopped paying attention to their family and focused their energy and attention on their wives families. Some of their wives relatives stay with them.

They became responsible for their wives siblings education and other stuffs.
One even sent his wife's brother for a training abroad.

What are y'all experiences?

What advice can you give to young men who have intention of getting married?

Should they aim for the rich family?

Responsibilities can make a man dies before his time.

What are your take on this?


N/B: Husbands only...

EVERYTHING you wrote here is just the gospel truth.
Getting MARRIED to a beautiful lady from a burdened family is like jumping into a consuming FIRE because its colors are attractive.

That’s why FAMILY surveillance is very important.
The worse is when a struggling family exchanges vows with a struggling family that lacks vision.
It’s not easy.
Some MEN still recycle poverty, because they believe their numerous kids will be distributed evenly among in-laws.
That’s the reason I always encourage MEN to marry ladies that will support them in their pursuit for greatness.
Thank God mine won’t entertain such rubbish.
I can only listen to those who lost their parents/ caregivers long long ago.
One shouldn’t get married and start experiencing hardships immediately. It’s suicidal

EVILFOREST:

EVERYTHING you wrote here is just the gospel truth.
Getting MARRIED to a beautiful lady from a burdened family is like jumping into a consuming FIRE because its colors are attractive.

That’s why FAMILY surveillance is very important.
The worse is when a struggling family exchanges vows with a struggling family that lacks vision.
It’s not easy.
Some MEN still recycle poverty, because they believe their numerous kids will be distributed evenly among in-laws.
Thank God mine won’t entertain such rubbish.
I can only listen to those who lost their parents/ caregivers long long ago.
One shouldn’t get married and start experiencing hardships immediately. It’s suicidal

Honestly.

THat is what I always advise that men should be careful how how we women act. We act gentle when a man a man is yet to put a ring to it

Listen sir, if your woman is yet or is not working, she is going to be a liability take it or leave it. And if you think everything will be going well, you will wake up and hear that a man from 2 streets away that always hail you and you give him 200naira is the one making your wife or girlfriend hole bigger.

To me women that are writeoffs and a warning sign to men are:-

One who has younger siblings and has no job
A girl who is a student (cultist and lecturers own her body for the moment)
Put passwords on phones and are telemundo/zeeworld lovers (who watches such uneducated program in this Buhari regime)



They aren’t useful to themselves, and how do you expect them to be useful to you?
Many men worship and lick our asses and this has made them senseless

God help us all

chiommy123:
People do this and funny enough they don't complain. So if you can ASSIST comfortably not against your wish or grudgingly then why not. They are your family too

I think people do it just to fulfill righteousness and also to keep up appearances cuz tell me why you will neglect your family and concentrate on your wife's. And they always reserve their complaints not that they don't

Well, when you hear that marriage is for men. This is one of the reasons, responsibility will increase.

yvesboss:


I think people do it just to fulfill righteousness and also to keep up appearances cuz tell me why you will neglect your family and concentrate on your wife's. And they always reserve their complaints not that they don't

I don't think people do it to fulfill all rightouness as you said. Rather I think they truely understand what marriage is. Besides no sensible man neglects his family. Carry both alone as much as you have the strength.

Wilfredpat22:
THat is what I always advise that men should be careful how how we women act. We act gentle when a man a man is yet to put a ring to it

Listen sir, if your woman is yet or is not working, she is going to be a liability take it or leave it. And if you think everything will be going well, you will wake up and hear that a man from 2 streets away that always hail you and you give him 200naira is the one making your wife or girlfriend hole bigger.

To me women that are writeoffs and a warning sign to men are:-

One who has younger siblings and has no job
A girl who is a student (cultist and lecturers own her body for the moment)
Put passwords on phones and are telemundo/zeeworld lovers (who watches such uneducated program in this Buhari regime)



They aren’t useful to themselves, and how do you expect them to be useful to you?
Many men worship and lick our asses and this has made them senseless

God help us all

Very intelligent individual. Soo true

The guy is not serious at all!!! Giving his brother inlaw pocket money? Seriously? The load he has decided to carry is his choice and headache so he should stop complaining

What is he doing for his own family? He should talk to his wife and tell her that he cannot continue like this. It is a complete rip off and they are taking advantage of him.

I advice that he stops every financial commitment to them and when they ask, he should say he is paying off a huge loan and can no longer afford to do as he used to.

But if he is father Christmas, he can continue but he dare not commit suicide later or react because he made a choice without a gun to his head.

I see so many matured & sincere contributions to this thread! It pays to be man enough because you will never satisfy humans! Live your life & assist whoever within your means & ungrudgingly too!

That is what I keep telling my friends who are rushing to get hooked. LOVE alone is not enough for marriage.
Marriage can turn sour over night because of finance(Trust me) .
Getting married to a lady who contribute nothing to a relationship apart her "body" is a quick way of giving your self high blood pressure. Please marry a hardworking lady that can atleast contribute something. A lady who works for her money will understand it value and will help plan for the judicious use of yours.

Love wouldn't feed nor pay the kids school fee o and other numerous responsibilities . Stay away from slay queens whose "Egyptian half caste" lotion alone is some people 3 month salaries.

The signs always there during courtship, but we guys most times just decide to turn a blind eye because of lotion and make up enhanced "beauty" and big booty or it equivalence. Wise up guys

This is also an advice for me, I'm not married. So help me God.

Wilfredpat22:
THat is what I always advise that men should be careful how how we women act. We act gentle when a man a man is yet to put a ring to it

Listen sir, if your woman is yet or is not working, she is going to be a liability take it or leave it. And if you think everything will be going well, you will wake up and hear that a man from 2 streets away that always hail you and you give him 200naira is the one making your wife or girlfriend hole bigger.

To me women that are writeoffs and a warning sign to men are:-

One who has younger siblings and has no job
A girl who is a student (cultist and lecturers own her body for the moment)
Put passwords on phones and are telemundo/zeeworld lovers (who watches such uneducated program in this Buhari regime)



They aren’t useful to themselves, and how do you expect them to be useful to you?
Many men worship and lick our asses and this has made them senseless

God help us all

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