Cynthia Kicks Ass

“You know, I've never really accepted that I am a little bit dominant.” Cynthia poured her

smoothie from the jug in the kitchen. “It just occurred to me that this is probably why I am always

confused.”

“Everybody else knew, trust me.” Lorne grumbled and returned to his sick chair with another

bowlful of pineapple. Hence, a benign conversation instantly became malignant.

“Here was me thinking I just attracted unusually weak men.” Cynthia snarled. “It's amazing, for

example, how you can manage to feed yourself and yet cannot manage to press the button on a

camera.”

“It's not my fault....” This was Lorne's answer to any question. It was untrue, and they both knew it.

“The opportunity cost of sitting listening to you complain is that I do not meet anybody that might

actually help. This is not helping, strangely enough.”

“It's obviously time I went home.” Lorne started to gather his mess together. Cynthia went upstairs

and cried.

Having dealt with this, Cynthia went on to write to the bank and the financial services company

who were preventing her from working. It probably wouldn't do any good, but at least she felt

better. She then took an agency and a government department to task over their poor management

practices. Again, probably futile, but at least she had done something. She still had some paperwork to do for herself, but this would have to wait.

Endless job applications were taking up most of her time, so none of the physical artwork pieces

could be finished, not least because Cynthia was assiduous about her beautiful house. The film

work could not be done because Lorne didn't care about anybody apart from himself, so she could

not finish that because she did not know anyone, and the academic work she was doing was hugely

impeded by a general lack of confidence caused by years of being harassed by stupid people. Stupid

people, she found, had a very aggressive attitude and liked to pretend not to understand simple

things in order to attack you. Hence, Cynthia had learned that people were generally dangerous and

not to be trusted. It was odd, therefore that she had taken one look at Asher and detected some

unexpected honesty.

She did not bother to analyse this. She had spent years overthinking things in the past, because of

self-doubt or shame, or whatever other excuse she had found. She didn't want to this time. She just

wanted something not to be horrible. This was an odd event in her life, not least because she was

far from an avid porn watcher as a rule. In fact, so absent was she from her own body that it had

entirely closed up before she had taken drastic action with porn and a small vibrator in order to deal

with a sciatic problem.

She wondered what life would have been like had she not taken responsibility for her parents. She

would have been famous and then probably dead, she surmised, since she had worked twenty hours

a day at times in the past. She was certainly healthier than she was at half her age, but was this

useful?

It did seem that an attitude of disposability had become a general principle in the UK. The elderly were disposable. The disabled were disposable. Workers were disposable, to the point that nobody

gave references any more and you were expected to accept anything anybody said to you as if it

were true, even when it was blisteringly obvious that it was not.

The concept of running off with a beautiful porn star was entirely within Cynthia's wide scope of

reference. If supposedly competent people were all incredibly incompetent, and also incapable of

listening, why would it not make sense that a beautiful, bright, caring and honest person was

choosing a life of pornography? Perhaps this had always been the case? Maybe there was some

honour left, hidden for much the same reasons that Cynthia had had to hide?

She was trying to be sparing with her chatter, because she did not want to annoy him. It was nice to have something pleasant to focus on. Here was somebody that might finally understand. Cynthia had never been afraid of odd relationships, despite her morbid fear of allegedly normal people, who were apparently characterized by self-interest, stupidity and aggression.

Despite the medium, this particular porn star had managed to convey a routine calm and gentleness

that Cynthia felt very attracted to, that, and the self-exposure she now habitually practiced to

combat the crippling lack of confidence she had had in the past meant that this new episode did not

surprise her at all.

Continue Reading: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/11/romance-novel-went-to-woo-porn-star.html