Why? Just why? When I thought I had it under control, everything starts to crumble again. It took forever to push back the thought of me having you so close to me. It took so long to heal yet you were always in my subconscious.

Although, we still kept in touch with you making sure you called at least 10 times in a year just so I can know you still care(I find it difficult to just dial the number for the fear of embarrassment) It felt good, really!

Should I be scared of You now? I didn't think it would happen so fast. Look who's the vulnerable one now. I couldn't even control myself around you. I know it can't be real yet I just want to live in the moment.

Is this love or it's just a longing that has been missed for so long? Your touch makes me weak to my feet. Your lips are still so soft I usually get lost thinking they are planted on mine.

These few weeks have all been about you. Plis my dear, is this intentional? Is this feeling mutual? Is this just something that's meant to reenact?

One minute, your words sound so true the next minute, they are tricky. You say you want a third chance. You say you want this to work but your eyes are blazing with lust. Pure lust! I see it — so clearly — but I choose to ignore it. I tell myself I'm doing this just for the moment. But I don't think I can handle this.

I see myself changing. This has never happened in a long while. The spark is back. The fire is blazing. The adrenaline is rushing. My heart's pumping real hard

You know this is going to happen yet I had no clue. You are already difficult to read. It bothers me so much yet I want to be unbothered. Like I said, i just want to live the moment.

I know I'm rambling already but all these I cannot relay to the person it's meant for. I can just type this and share because it's really eating me up but who am I kidding?

What do I do?
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