jennykadry:

Not good enough excuse, because he has failed before meaning he is gonna fail again eh kwa?

chaircover:

Uju, there you go again; His and Mine, My money, His money. . . . . .er actually it is actually OUR Money dearie

We all can’t be perfect. Some people excel in some things better than others. If God has blessed the wife with good business skills, then what stops her from letting the husband run the business and she cross checks that the I’s are dotted and the T’s are crossed.

Even if the man was useless at business, with patience, love, encouragement and support, you can lead from behind and make him one of the best business men in the town. Don’t they say that behind every successful man is a woman?

Is he a dunce and````````````````````````````````````` an ako ti le ta not to be able to learn good business skills if his wife was showing him how in love. You can teach anyone anything; the method is what makes the difference.

chaircover:

Their Money

chaircover:

Iya Basira, logically and not in too many words, why do you think that the man choose to abandon the "big money" wifey who lives in Abuja and marry another woman.

chaircover:

Iya Basira, logically and not in too many words, why do you think that the man choose to abandon the "big money" wifey who lives in Abuja and marry another woman.

vinooh:

not as b4,things has changed the world is turning upside down.women are incharge now and their words are taken in the homes or else there wouldnt be peace

in china many men are the cookers even in their homes,

civilization brought many good and bad things men have to understand this and stop claiming they are the head for their own life

one elderly man ones said this is the evidence of the world coming to an end coz women has taken over and they will ruin and destroy the world just as many of them are ruining their homes
@poster better women still recognize their husband as the head and the person who have the final say.peace. happiness and orderliness always fill her home but those who claim equal {two heads} women who want to change the will of the creator always met disaster.

Oba234:


since you nairalanders love to quote bible scriptures so much, let me help you out with one. Fornication and adultery is a sin o. I am surprise that the same person that says women must submit according to the bible is now saying the men is not at fault after commiting adultery and probably fornication.

Heb 13:4 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.


(Matthew 5:27-28) 27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;’
28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.


(Matthew 19:9) 9 I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”"


Galatians 5:21) 21 envyings, murders, drunkenness, sin assemblies, and things like these; of which I forewarn you, even as I also forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.



Ephesians 5:3-5) 3 But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints;
4 nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not appropriate; but rather giving of thanks.
5[b] Know this for sure, that no sexually immoral person, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God.
[/b]



stop picking and choosing what part of the bible you want to hear. What that man did to his wife according to the bible is wrong and he will be judged by God because  of that. 

Ujujoan:

Okay maybe I'll have to get married to understand that part!

That I have to hand over everything I own to a man to do as he pleases is not something I can relate with right now.

One question though . . . what if the man is just plain stubborn and has refused to learn. He thinks he knows it all when his methods have failed him time and over again. Do you still hand over everything to him and pray for a miracle

bawomolo:

what assurance?  you mean the same country where having mistresses and side pieces is a regular occurrence?

bawomolo:

ikeke idi - would you do stuff like prostrate for your husband to greet him or before giving him a plate of food?

bawomolo:

but that was submissiveness then, are you saying it wasn't healthy?  

i hope you now realize a submissive relationship may or may not be healthy, it depends on the individuals involved.  i doubt women like hilary clinton or michelle obama are submissive.

chiogo:

That's actually what I have a problem with. I agree with making him feel good, which should go both ways by the way. But pump his ego? What for? If he's secure, why would there be a need for that? That's like how you give candy to kids to get them to shut up. I'm assuming he's a grown man obviously, why can't he know to do the right thing without some ego-pumping? I mean do people really get into a marriage not knowing their roles? Still makes no sense.

And I'm going with the dictionary definition of the word, which mostly has to do with slave like oyinda. posted.

seyibrown:

Abi o! They quote submission and condole adultery!

Oba234:


since you nairalanders love to quote bible scriptures so much, let me help you out with one. Fornication and adultery is a sin o. I am surprise that the same person that says women must submit according to the bible is now saying the men is not at fault after commiting adultery and probably fornication.

Heb 13:4 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.


(Matthew 5:27-28) 27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;’
28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.


(Matthew 19:9) 9 I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”"


Galatians 5:21) 21 envyings, murders, drunkenness, sin assemblies, and things like these; of which I forewarn you, even as I also forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.



Ephesians 5:3-5) 3 But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints;
4 nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not appropriate; but rather giving of thanks.
5[b] Know this for sure, that no sexually immoral person, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God.
[/b]



[b][b][b]stop picking and choosing what part of the bible you want to hear. What that man did to his wife according to the bible is wrong and he will be judged by God because  of that. 
[/b][/b][/b]

tensor777:

I hardly think it is a question of waiting until you get married, but acquiring a positive, proactive attitude NOW as to what a marriage is. It is a union not a competition. The bible says the twain shall become one flesh.

It is not about nagging or upbraiding the man for past real and imagined business failings, but on the contrary doing your utmost to ensure that the CURRENT business venture would be successful.

angelloven:

I can only hand over my hard earned money to a trusted man, those men who were previously doing well but had reversals in life due to no fault of them. but to the certified olofu lofu, noway. No matter what anybody preachs. It is easier said than done. I know a man who were so useless that his own rich father married an interligent poor girl for him and set the lady up in  big business to be able to carter for the family, all does is donate spermatozoa and ocassionally steals from the wife at home. He doesnt come near the business place as the his father has warned the wife about him. He nearly ruined the father only that he was very rich. What do you do with that kind of liability. pet and teach him till he enters the grave?

oyinda.:

@ileke-idi,
basically to be a submissive wife, you do what your husband wants u to do.
like 18 yr old teen living with his parents. u have to listen to them just because they are your parents. lol most can't wait to leave for college and get their own independence. but imagine a wife living like that all her life.

and those saying there can't be two captains of a ship. to me, that analogy is too simplistic since there are many facets to a marriage and each spouse will be better at some aspect and vice versa

besides, the owner of a ship is more powerful than the captain of d ship. just like a board member or large share holder can be more powerful than the CEO of a company. it all boils down to who makes more money etc. that's why working women threaten men's power.

yea. what if he tells u he wants you home at a certain time each night etc. ie placing curfews
he wants you to keep a certain friend and not otherss. ie choosing your friends for you
he decides your employment. ie he doesn't want you to become an engineer and would prefer you to be a secretary

will u be submissive to that?

Sagamite:

You will be surprised most people's definition of submissive is more about not arguing decisions, not talking down to your husband, not making nagging everytime you do not have your way, allowing him to have the final decision (after you have stealthly shaped it to be what you want) when making joint decisions, letting him feel he has the upper hand (not we are mates or we share the trousers) etc.

Not the dictatorial stuff you put above.

Ujujoan:

Okay you want me to start giving my BF all my money now  

Errm, that's kind of hard to do!  

Ujujoan:

What's this one's problem

Dint you find a good profile picture

tensor777:

Who is talking about boyfriend and girlfriend I am talking about the positive proactive attitude you should bring WHEN you get married. There is no need to jump the firing gun.

invisible!:

One woman I know, got tired of following her husband and decided to lead. She packed her load and left Lag to Abj. Got big contracts and was sending huge sums to the husband and her 3 kids. The husband continued to play the role of a housewife for two years, then he discreetly married another girl, brought her into the house. The woman was shocked when she learnt of the developement and came back and took her kids. Left the man and the marriage went kaput. This is a true life story.
   

Sagamite:

See this yeye woman.

The one I have there is not nice enough for ya?

Sagamite:

So why should he regularly be assuring you that he loves you? Why should he be telling you you look nice (even when he does not think so or it is not hot enough to merit a compliment)? Why does he have to make Valentine's Day a special day for you? Why should he take any load he sees you carrying even though you are reasonably comfortable with it? Why should he spend MORE time with you when he wants to now go and see his friends after spending 4 hours with you and wants to do something else? Otherwise you are upset when he does not do all this.

Are you not a secure grown woman?

Sagamite:

You will be surprised most people's definition of submissive is more about not arguing decisions, not talking down to your husband, not making nagging everytime you do not have your way, allowing him to have the final decision (after you have stealthly shaped it to be what you want) when making joint decisions, letting him feel he has the upper hand (not we are mates or we share the trousers) etc.

Not the dictatorial stuff you put above.

Ujujoan:

u r d one obsessed with profile pictures not me!

I was just giving u sth to do. This thread is for the matured only!

Sagamite:

Just come out with it jor.

Say it!

"You want me to put up a profile pix with me flashing pounds". Then you will tell me I look good.

And don't even bring Africa into this argument, we are okay the way we were before colonialism. We didn't have gay marriages here, there was no terrorism, no AIDS, no prostitution, no drugs, no indecency, no robberies and we lived in our own version of peace and prosperity.

chiogo:

These things are mutual, i.e, I'd be doing the same for him too. Ego-pumping is more like this:
You think slaves talk down on/argue with their masters? Once again, if he's secure, he'd use his judgment to know when he's making the right decisions and when he's not. This would enable him to know when my own decisions are the right ones instead of wanting me to keep quiet even at his folly because he's the HEAD. That's what being secure is all about - knowing you're not perfect . I see no reason to have a partner if her opinions don't matter and you make the FINAL decisions.

Ujujoan:

Do you want me to tell you you look good?

Errm ok, you look good. You can go back to the profile pictures now!

We human beings always think we can outdo God. But his standards are like between two mountains and there is NO MIDDLE GROUND! There isn't, and should never be, any excuse for a married man to take another wife while his first is still alive.

Sagamite:

I know you know I look good.

O nkan ma front ni (You just dey front).

chaircover:

Actually she was wrong & this is the mistake many women make. Its the You and me syndrome rather than the "us" syndrome.

She didn't have to pack her load & go to Abuja before she made an impact even if the man was lagging behind. She could have sat down with her husband and both worked out ways of making things better for the family.

You dont  just barge off on your own tangent and expect everyone to fall in line. An example of leading from behind would have been to make the connections  (I wonder how she made them but that is a story for another day) and put her husband in the right place to get those contracts himself; and unless he is a stup.id fellow (who she married by the way) then he would have done the job, fended for his family & everyone remains in thier assigned roles.

She was sending big money to the husband, forgetting that life is not all about money, her money could not buy warmth, cook, be there for her family, provide companionship, pamper the man or sooth the children when they were sick and so on,  so the man went and found someone who could.

Remember she was away for 2 years. After contract number 1 or 2, she could have easily introduced her husband to the powers that be to put him in line for contracts or even a job, she could have relocated the family to abuja & have all lived together and so on. She probably made the man feel like a begger each time she came back to Lagos & dropping huge sums for his feeding allowance.

If the women were my junior sister, I would have given her a big slap if she comes crying to me that her husband left her for the housegirl.