Ok here goes. I have been married to my husband for 14 years, kids are grown and it's just us. I love him, but feel discontent and have felt this way for a while. He is very content though.

Recently made contact with my first adult love. Our story began in Germany I was enlisted and 21 and he an officer and 27. We fell in love I became pregant, I chose to have an abortion ( which I will regret for the rest of my life) it really hurt him. Still he was an offficer and I enlisted the tabu relationship. My tour was up and I left Germany he wrote, but I did not respond, I felt unworthy of him, but never stopped loving him, never. A chain of other events occured and then I met and married my current husband. The passion and connection is not what my first love and I shared.

After communicating with my first love recently, we decided to meet in the near future. First it was to be for lunch, but now it may be for much more. He is married with an unlikely match, his words not mine (2nd wife) and I with a good man, but we are worlds apart in so many things, yet he truly loves me. I do have some resentment though. I believe he may have been unfaithful in our first 2 years of marraige, just unable to prove it.

I am feeling so confused and lost. I feel like there is unfinished business. I still love him and want him (my first love). I am so unhappy at times. I don't want to hurt the man who has been there for me during tough times, but really want to feel passion and desire and love, true love again. I have always done everything that I had to do, because I had children to care for. I've worked long hours while going to school, put all my hopes, dreams and desires on hold, because it was what had to be done at the time. I feel awful for my thoughts and feelings. Do I not meet and always wonder and think about him, because it's what I have been doing for the last 21 years anyway or do I see where it goes?

Simple you are a big fool, after 14years with your husband.

We need not use the word fool to put someone back on track.
@poster,the road you toll is a very bad one.pull back today.

femmy2010:

We need not use the word fool to put someone back on track.
@poster,the road you toll is a very bad one.pull back today.

Am very very aware of my usage.

I agree with femmy2010. Call her a fool is a bit much and out of line. Poster, personally I think you should follow your heart. But before you go running off with this other man, talk to you husband and tell him what you are feeling. Tell him how unhappy you are in the relationship. Perhaps he will see that the communication/connections is not the same as it was before. You need to very vocal about what your feeling and if he is able to see that there is truly something that is bother you, then perhaps both or you can find creative ways to reignite your broken relationship. See professional help if you have to. If that doesn't work, then I think you should go with my first suggestion by following your heart. No sense in being in a loveless relationship.

@poster
funny how you NOW start to bring all the "faults" that your hubby may have just to find some comfort in having the devious thougths that you are having. life aint a perfect fairy tale, if you are truly unhappy with your husband then DIVORCE HIM first and then go along to live your "fairytale" being your first love "snack".
at least be honest, thats the least you can do for yourself and your union.

MEMO TO POSTER: if you think you will be anything more than just some cheap kitten on the side then tell your supposedly first love to divorce his mismatch wifey so that he could live this"fairy tale" with you.
you first mistake was to marry someone as a B or C option while in love with someone else and go along with this CHARADE for 21yrs.

You've been married for 14 years and the kids are all grown and just you and your hubby left ? - I assume you had the kids before you got married then.

Anyways, back to the topic - You will no doubt end up most miserable if you go with this your soldier somebody.

.you have come along way with this good man you need to focus on that and your marital vows.dnt be too hard on yourself a lot of pips have threaded this part and pulled themselves together .you really need to do that.
This is a personal battle nobody can help you xcept God.you will be fine ignore those yearnings.and i think you need to meet the guy so you can get closure but only if you are strong enough.as simple as it looks this case is tough you need help otherwise you will keep wondering how it would have been btw you.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND NAME THEM ONE BY ONE. STOP FOCUSING ON THE PAST.I hope you get over your discontent this is a true test of what is called commitment esp in marriage.

running away with another man who is in his second marriage, pleasssee!!!! and you want to throw 14 years of marriage down the drain?what about the kids,dont be selfish if you cannot do it for your husband then do it for your children