Gd evening everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and naked photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

Just give the man his baby.put that womb to good use. It won't last forever you know.

If u no the importance of a male child u won't be blaming ur husband for his anger
Make peace with ur husband let both of u visit a doctor for advice
Also don't forget the power of prayer it works

Let me guess, your husband is Igbo, right?




Don't forget to submit to your husband's demands. Don't lose your marriage over your ego. I know 9 months isn't easy but it just might save your marriage and future.

Child na child.
The Lord Giveth and taketh.

Your husband is quite ignorant of the fact that the chromosome that produces male children are produced by men not women. Once he understands this, he will take a chill pill.

Chiamaka789022:
Gd evening ever1 u need urgent advice sum1 Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and naked photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

The question is, are you guys financially okay to nurture up to 5 kids? If the answer is no, please don't go ahead with it. I think you need to let him realize that giving birth to a female is not a curse but a blessing. The best student when I was in college was a female. I wonder why parents want male who may not even give a Bleep about them when they are six feet below the ground. Please ignore the first two comments

Women do not know the importance of a male child. Girl child and boy child ain't same oo, put that into ur head. Do you want ur phusband's lineage closed and no body to take from him?
Pls do ur husband's bidding and save your marriage, if u don't wanna get pregnant for him, there are many girls outside that are more than ready to be his babymama

If he reacts to your refusal to have another baby by cheating & shutting you out, I'll be very careful if I were you. Four children is already too many children & there's no guarantee that the next one will be a boy either. With your marriage deteriorating by the sound of it, will you be able to cope with a 5th child all on your own, in case he rejects you & shuts you out once again if he gets disappointed? Because let's be realistic here for a second, 5th time may not be "lucky", what then? Will he again take refugee in the arms of other women, while you're left at home trying to raise your 5 children as a semi-married woman? If I'm to be frank, it sounds like he's making an excuse so he can mistreat you without remorse. Don't be surprised if he impregnates someone else outside when he doesn't get what he wants. Also don't be surprised if he still carries on with his affairs after you've given birth to a son, he most probably will say you don't have enough time for him etc. It's a never-ending string of excuses once some of these guys start going down a wayward path. It'll be emotional torture. Another woman ended up bludgeoning her husband with a hammer because kept pushing & pushing. They were blessed with a son & a daughter, but he wanted more just to be a jerk. Well, he ended up getting someone else pregnant. To add insult to injury, he started bringing the other lady to their house, all while also being cold towards his wife in private- no intimacy etc. In the end it became too much for her. Some guys just never know when to stop in their selfishness & careless disregard of another person's emotions.

chris31:
If u no the importance of a male child u won't be blaming ur husband for his anger
Make peace with ur husband let both of u visit a doctor for advice
Also don't forget the power of prayer it works

Useless african mentality


What's the importance?

Obama has 2 girls

T b joshua 2 girls

Etc.

Did you talk to God about this issue before seeking for advice?

Nogen:
Your husband is quite ignorant of the fact that the chromosome that produces male children are produced by men not women. Once he understands this, he will take a chill pill.

Forget that. It's not the only determinant. If it were so many men who marry a second wife won't bear male sons still. Same men marry the second wife and bear male sons.


Again, at times people try like the husband wants and they get a male child, maybe after 6,7,8 girls.

Amandobolt:
Women do not know the importance of a male child. Girl child and boy child ain't same oo, put that into ur head. Do you want ur phusband's lineage closed and no body to take from him?
Pls do ur husband's bidding and save your marriage, if u don't wanna get pregnant for him, there are many girls outside that are more than ready to be his babymama

What exactly is the implication of this lineage closure?

So If I die now, I would be wondering about whether anyone was going to take over from me?


Since obama has 2 girls, he is prolly worried about lineage closure?


I wonder why we go to school here when it doesn't change atavistic mentality.

You are married to a very heartless person.

If your youngest daughter is 8, then you haven't had a kid in 8 years, and I'm guessing you are probably middle-aged; yet this man you call your husband wants you to go through the pain of childbirth again.

He is wicked, and it is very sad that you are suffering like this. Marriage isn't always blissful. Karma will find him one day. All I wish you could do is carry your kids and leave the man. May God help you o.

Damn I feel for you! how unhappy you must be and to bring a child in such environment and he even said you’ll keep trying till you get a son

Majority of the men will support your husband, it’s the way of the world on issues like this

I wish you God’s wisdom and guidance (read Philippians 4:6 – 7)

Can a wife leave the husband on such grounds? Because they had an agreement and he is backing out of it?
Can she even afford to leave?
Does she even want to leave?

Sad one*

Those myopic people talking of a lineage "ending" please answer the questions below:

-Does a dead man know what a lineage is
-What if you have a boy and he turns out gay, has your lineage not "ended"?
-What if he turns a ritualist and uses you to satisfy his blood thirsty god's??

My dear if I was you I'm done having kids. Dont end your life trying to please an ungrateful man. Thank God for the kids you have. I know some couples that are asking God for just one child irrespective of the sex.

Let him go outside to have that son. So that he can give uncle Karma an unwilling tool he will use to 'end' that lineage he is trying to 'keep alive'.

Please do not fight him or even attack any of the ladies he is dating. Leave them to Uncle Karma. He always does a good job and never disappoints.

Peace

ubunja:
Just give the man his baby.put that womb to good use. It won't last forever you know.

funny guy

u don't have sense at all. give ur husband what he wants or I asure u that by the ending of this year, he would have one or two baby mama or even a second wife. you will have no option than to pack out. forget that agreement its rubbish when it comes to this kind of issue. By the way it seems you are a negative minded person that's why u attracted only a female in ur womb. cos from unset, you told your husband that whether its a male or female it must b only 4. psychologically speaking, in your mind you were like...if its 4 female children this man should stick to our agreement. now what u were thinking happened to u. assuming you have one male child, your husband won't disturb you. that man is a good man but you stubbornness has caused him pain and made him begin to do what he doesn't like. you better give that man his baby and this time, have a positive mind that its gonna be a male child. if you continue to Bleep up, this year will be a different story in your life. I know its one stupid female friend that's advising you to stick to the agreement you guys had in the past, that friend doesn't like u. You better get sense now.

THE TRUTH AND I WONT FORCE U TO DO IT. EVEN IF YOU ASK YOUR GREAT GREAT GRAND FATHER AND MOTHER FOR GRAVE FOR ADVICE, WHAT I TOLD YOU NOW IS WHAT YOU WOULD BE TOLD. GOOD BYE.

Do not listen to these foolish feminists here talking rubbish. It is lame to compare your husband with Obama just because he has two daughters, that's irresponsible.

I am the fifth child of my parents and the second to the last born. My parents had four daughters and I was born on the fifth trial. The sixth issue was also a boy.

It is heartless and stupid fur women to think they are the ones to decide when to give birth or when not to.

Madam give your husband a son.

Stupid hungry Naija feminist on this thread

@chiamaka789022,
My dear, i feel your pain. There's always two sides to every story, but even without hearing your husband's side i already feel so angry. I don't know what else is going on in your home - i know from experience that family problems are RARELY the fault of just the husband or just the wife - but my gawd, there is simply no excuse for a man to treat his wife of 16 years this way.

Unfortunately i have a principle of not giving advice on family issues online, for 2 reasons:
1. I don't like judging people. I'm so imperfect that giving advice to others makes me feel like a hypocrite.
2. Only the person wearing the shoe knows where it really hurts, and what works for me may just make things worse for the next person.

But i sincerely don't think your husband will change even you give in and get pregnant again. I think he'll just find another excuse. As for the people here urging you to get pregnant, remember that few of them are married. Most don't know what it costs a woman to carry a baby to term and successfully give birth, and the rest don't even care.

Perhaps you should move your thread to the family section (or ask the Mods to do it for you); i think you'll get better and more mature replies there.

Good luck and God bless.

Chiamaka789022:
Gd evening everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and naked photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

Ujujoan2 and sisisioge has not seen this yet.

Cuz I want to ask them where do ladies get these callow men from and get married to?

Hubby: Remove your FP let's try a 5th time for a son.
Wife: What if we get a girl.
Hubby: Then we try again a 6th time.

Me: Ahn ahn, is she a machine?


I still feel this modern times have focused too much on the girl-child improvement. Even families will focus their energy on monitoring the female child and in respect neglecting the males.

These are the results.

The men have become overgrown egocentric babies with no values, self-control and the ability to think rationally.

Conclusion:
We need more 'affordable' psychological therapists and professionals in this country. This couple needs to visit one.

XhosaNostra:
If he reacts to your refusal to have another baby by cheating & shutting you out, I'll be very careful if I were you. Four children is already too many children & there's no guarantee that the next one will be a boy either. With your marriage deteriorating by the sound of it, will you be able to cope with a 5th child all on your own, in case he rejects you & shuts you out once again if he gets disappointed? Because let's be realistic here for a second, 5th time may not be "lucky", what then? Will he again take refugee in the arms of other women, while you're left at home trying to raise your 5 children as a semi-married woman? If I'm to be frank, it sounds like he's making an excuse so he can mistreat you without remorse. Don't be surprised if he impregnates someone else outside when he doesn't get what he wants. Also don't be surprised if he still carries on with his affairs after you've given birth to a son, he most probably will say you don't have enough time for him etc. It's a never-ending string of excuses once some of these guys start going down a wayward path. It'll be emotional torture. Another woman ended up bludgeoning her husband with a hammer because kept pushing & pushing. They were blessed with a son & a daughter, but he wanted more just to be a jerk. Well, he ended up getting someone else pregnant. To add insult to injury, he started bringing the other lady to their house, all while also being cold towards his wife in private- no intimacy etc. In the end it became too much for her. Some guys just never know when to stop in their selfishness & careless disregard of another person's emotions.

Aswear,u get sense
one love babe

Can you just stop using shorthand?

There are ways to target having a male child...Pm me if you are serious

Chiamaka789022:
Gd evening everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and naked photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

He is not blaming her But that they should try again

Nogen:
Your husband is quite ignorant of the fact that the chromosome that produces male children are produced by men not women. Once he understands this, he will take a chill pill.

You made it seem the husband is looking for reasons to hate the wife, it's preposterous! Our forefathers married several wives but due to Christianity we are marrying one and the women loves it. But marrying one wife has its own shortcomings like this. She better cooperate or there are a lot of eligible unmarried women due to one man one wife policy who could be baby mama!

kay9:
@chiamaka789022,
My dear, i feel your pain. There's always two sides to every story, but even without hearing your husband's side i already feel so angry. I don't know what else is going on in your home - i know from experience that family problems are RARELY the fault of just the husband or just the wife - but my gawd, there is simply no excuse for a man to treat his wife of 16 years this way.

Unfortunately i have a principle of not giving advice on family issues online, for 2 reasons:
1. I don't like judging people. I'm so imperfect that giving advice to others makes me feel like a hypocrite.
2. Only the person wearing the shoe knows where it really hurts, and what works for me may just make things worse for the next person.

But i sincerely don't think your husband will change even you give in and get pregnant again. I think he'll just find another excuse. As for the people here urging you to get pregnant, remember that few of them are married. Most don't know what it costs a woman to carry a baby to term and successfully give birth, and the rest don't even care.

Perhaps you should move your thread to the family section (or ask the Mods to do it for you); i think you'll get better and more mature replies there.

Good luck and God bless.

Nogen:
Your husband is quite ignorant of the fact that the chromosome that produces male children are produced by men not women. Once he understands this, he will take a chill pill.

Your are talking nonsense. A man gives a woman everything needed to make a baby. In every sperm release it has equal number of both X and Y chromosomes deposited in a woman. Factors like sperm motility, the vagina pH and time of ovulation are things that could determine if a child is a boy or girl. The probability of having either a boy or girl is always at 50%.

Chiamaka789022:
Gd evening everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and naked photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

Give him the baby he wants. Whether it is boy or girl is not your fault.

People should learn to shift ground for people they love.

Good observation there, dude was tired of marriage and d scum was looking for an excuse to cheat.

XhosaNostra:
If he reacts to your refusal to have another baby by cheating & shutting you out, I'll be very careful if I were you. Four children is already too many children & there's no guarantee that the next one will be a boy either. With your marriage deteriorating by the sound of it, will you be able to cope with a 5th child all on your own, in case he rejects you & shuts you out once again if he gets disappointed? Because let's be realistic here for a second, 5th time may not be "lucky", what then? Will he again take refugee in the arms of other women, while you're left at home trying to raise your 5 children as a semi-married woman? If I'm to be frank, it sounds like he's making an excuse so he can mistreat you without remorse. Don't be surprised if he impregnates someone else outside when he doesn't get what he wants. Also don't be surprised if he still carries on with his affairs after you've given birth to a son, he most probably will say you don't have enough time for him etc. It's a never-ending string of excuses once some of these guys start going down a wayward path. It'll be emotional torture. Another woman ended up bludgeoning her husband with a hammer because kept pushing & pushing. They were blessed with a son & a daughter, but he wanted more just to be a jerk. Well, he ended up getting someone else pregnant. To add insult to injury, he started bringing the other lady to their house, all while also being cold towards his wife in private- no intimacy etc. In the end it became too much for her. Some guys just never know when to stop in their selfishness & careless disregard of another person's emotions.

Chiamaka789022:
Gd evening everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and naked photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

This life is funny, my house is full of boys and no single girl. All I need is one girl, wife refused to have any more saying she's sure it's gonna be another boy. This doesn't mean she should be ill treated, after all, men chromosomes decide the gender of a child.