This is a situation of a boy; what would you do?

He lived all his life from a toddler to the age of eighteen in the great land Nigeria, and after that he was relocated to the US. Of course he had a girlfriend in Nigeria, and they planned to get married and they were both very understanding but on getting to America he finds new friends that made him to understand that almost all the girls in the new countries are [sexually promiscous].

Now the Qestion:
Does he stay faithful to his girlfriend or does he play along with his friends and still go home to marry his so much loved girlfriend? Put this in mind he does not have feelings for the [promiscous girls].

This really isn't a question, is it? I mean to be even contemplating cheating on somebody you he intends to marry is to me, terrible.

So the [promiscous girls] are good enough to sleep with but not to acknowledge as women, eh? I don't think the fact that you have no feelings for these [promiscous girls] changes the fact that you are still cheating on your almost fiancee.

If he plays along with his friends then I don't think he has a mind of his own. Instead of doing it with whores, why doesn't he look for 1 or 2 decent girls. I believe no man would travel out of the country for so long without touching a woman.

That doesn't mean he doesn't love his fiancee. Sure he would come back telling her fairy tales of how he remained faithful to her. We know men are cheats and liars.

tayotina: I believeno man would travel out of the country for some long without touching a woman ... We know men are cheats and liars.

I don't like this sort of generalization at all. Perhaps all [I]your boyfriends[/I] have been cheats and liars, but this doesn't mean that all men are like that. As we have noted in the past, it takes two to tango: before a man can cheat against his partner, he must find a woman who is willing to join him in the act.

i must say - it would take a very rare man to travel to a country where there is a lot more sexual freedom than where he is coming from, and stay completely faithful to his 'almost fiancee' [abi? jummy79] apart from this, the guy left as a teenager, still evolving in maturity, even if he is not the promiscous type; chances are that he will become good friends with someone else and anything could happen...

18 years old and thinking of marriage? I seriously think there is much more that an 18 year old should be thinking about other than marriage. At 18, you are just starting life and to lump yourself up with the first person you see? I don't think either of them is making the right choice. Marriage should not be on their minds at this point in time.

*shaking head in pity*

Seun:

tayotina: I believeno man would travel out of the country for some long without touching a woman ... We know men are cheats and liars.

I don't like this sort of generalization at all.  Perhaps all [I]your boyfriends[/I] have been cheats and liars, but this doesn't mean that all men are like that.  As we have noted in the past, it takes two to tango: before a man can cheat against his partner, he must find a woman who is willing to join him in the act.

Seun wake up from your slumber. This is the 21st century for crying out loud.

jogego: Marriage should not be on their minds at this point in time.

Relationship should not be in their minds either. If marriage is not important, then sex and relationship cannot be important. However, I agree with Jogego that they should probably call off the 'relationship'.

Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships should not be taken too seriously, especially when the guy is not in the position to get the two things a young Nigerian man wants from a girlfriend: premarital sex and food!

tayotina: Seun wake up from your slumber. This is the 21st century for crying out loud.

So you think that because we're in the 21st century our men must revert to ape-like sexual behaviour? Oh, and by the way, didn't we come accross some statistics showing that the prevalence rate of premarital sex among Nigerian women is higher than that for men of the same age?

I'm trully amazed You people where do you get all these questions and ideas from what do you think an eighteen year boy would do sing a 'bah bah black sheep song for the women' geezzzzzzzzzzzzz ask me something a bit more complicated plezzzzzzzzzzz

casper:

Now the Qestion:
Does he stay faithful to his girlfriend or does he play along with his friends and still go home to marry his so much loved girlfriend? Put this in mind he does not have feelings for the [promiscous girls].

18 Thinking about marriage? na wa o!

Men, there is no question here, he will do what he wants. I give him a year before he cracks and starts getting his freak on.

If he wants to continue to maintain the babe in Naija well he is welcome to do that but he should also realise that most likely the babe will end up getting some shows on the side as well.

^^^exactly. naija/US relationships are mostly nonsense anyway. both parties usually end up getting some on the side. i would advise to separate from the naija girl. if y'all are truly meant to be together you'll find your way back.

legs:

I must say - it would take a very rare man to travel to a country where there is a lot more sexual freedom than where he is coming from, and stay completely faithful to his 'almost fiancee' [abi? jummy79] apart from this, the guy left as a teenager, still evolving in maturity, even if he is not the promiscous type; chances are that he will become good friends with someone else and anything could happen...

Maybe I'm naive but I am certainly holding out for this 'rare' specimen myself!

naive? i wouldn't hace sais so ordinarily, i was just stating a likely possibility, anyway whatever makes u happy.....

I think its very bad,one: you cheat on your fiancee and two:you probably hurt someones feelings very badly.

One thing we have to understand is that everywhere on this planet,people have different cultures and values about different things. Say in Nigeria now, a girl of 22 who has slept with more than 10 guys is regarded as promiscous but in these foreign countries it is regarded as nohing.that's ours and their cultural orientation. The girl might well in her own culturally-tuned mind be falling in love and sex is the only tangible expression of love she knows while the guy might be feeling that "[I]oh you stupid LovePeddler,you've known me for only two days and you are already sleeping with me[/I]" no!

Please guys if you have a fiancee just be true to her no matter where you find yourself and there wont be need for all this talk.

The sermon is ended. Chikena!

Simply 4 the ladies out there if u have a guy living abroad, he will swear to u that he has never touched a woman but 4 SURE he has. The women over here in the west are not sexually inhibited like african women and go after a guy if they like the guy just to experience what he is like esp if he is handsome. Not that u would blame the guy cos i dont see any guy suffering in the midst of plenty. Sorry seun no offense meant but even u would join the band waggon. I mean its more than a question of principle, reality is involved

casper:

This is a situation of a boy; what would you do?

He lived all his life from a toddler to the age of eighteen in the great land Nigeria, and after that he was relocated to the US.  Of course he had a girlfriend in Nigeria, and they planned to get married and they were both very understanding but on getting to America he finds new friends that made him to understand  that almost all the girls in the new countries are [sexually promiscous].

Now the Qestion:
Does he stay faithful to his girlfriend  or does he play along with his friends and still go home to marry his so much loved girlfriend?  Put this in mind he does not have feelings for the [promiscous girls].

Could you please clarify on what exactly you mean by faithful??...

Do you mean abstaining from sex, or from relationships in general?? Or from having feelings for anyone who he has sexual relations with??

I know why I ask... 
And will let you into my thots when you reply....

18 what is that age a baby i should say
fact is kids this days are promiscuous so i cant say abstan but i think its no business of theirs going the marriage lane and they have alot ahead so distractions should not be welcomed

I believe that sex can be seperated from deep feelings and both guys and girls can have sex with one person while in love with somebody else. If the guy feels that he cannot stay faithful to his girl then what I would do in his shoes would be to tell the girl hey I still love you but right now I don't want to end up cheating on you and losing you in the long run so why don't you do your thing back home and I'll do mine here and if we are meant to be together then someday when I'm more mature and ready to maintain a deep, loving and faithful relationship I'll come back for you.

Fox:

I believe that sex can be seperated from deep feelings and both guys and girls can have sex with one person while in love with somebody else.  If the guy feels that he cannot stay faithful to his girl then what I would do in his shoes would be to tell the girl hey I still love you but right now I don't want to end up cheating on you and losing you in the long run so why don't you do your thing back home and I'll do mine here and if we are meant to be together then someday when I'm more mature and ready to maintain a deep, loving and faithful relationship I'll come back for you. 

this is not a mature way of thinking..

they should forget their marriage plans. IF the guy and girl can wait they should wait. There is no way both of them won't cheat at some point.

Yes he should remain faithful. If he wants to wait he should wait.  If he is able to bring the babe over fine but he should believe that if the relationship continuous the way it is right now and the babe cannot come over, he will also become promiscuous knowingly or unknowingly whichever way he wants to call it. Very few people are sincere with themselves nowadays.

He should remain faithful ever

Greatpeter:

He should remain faithful ever

Greatpeter, why not LIST a way out for him to achieve your idea (i want to know also), but remember those friends that pointed out the promiscuous lifestyle of most ladies are still around him.

you guys need to be jokers. You expect a guy at this age to be celibate? Abeg that is not even being realistic. We are looking for realistic solutions not ideal solutions.

Well time, waits for nobody and to tell u the truth it is impossible for the guy to remain faithful, but if it is were to be a  girl i know she will remain faithful cos girls love with heart , body and soul

If the distance is brought about by education, and the guy or lady is in a univesity that is flodded with active beautiful guys and ladies, and the guy and lady is a normal and happening person, how long would that guy or lady be idle?

I wonder?

To the best of my knowledge, it is not RIGHT. If we are to look at it from the point of how much commitment is involved then a scale has to be put into consideration. Firstly, how much have they put into it? Secondly, are they really thinking of marriage before he left? Also, how long can both of them hold for?
I am in the Uk and i really know what it takes to keep your eyes away from the torment of attractive bodies. Now if the relationship is not grounded enough on good foundation then the guy will cheat. I am not saying the guy SHOULD cheat but i know he will cheat.
Let us not forget the girls of today too! there is no two way about it that she won't cheat. She will hide under the umbrella that she does not know what the guy is "doing" abroad so she won't want to waste her time for nobody.
My believe is no two relationship is the same but the parties involed are the two very people that can their own way forward. People are meant to err but the power of reconciliation is what actually determine how far a relationship can go.
Thank you house

Guys will always be guys, they would cheat no matter what. Both parties are supposed to be committed in a relationship but unfortunately it is not so. The lady puts in all her heart while the guy just doesn't care.

Imagine this:

tayotina:

Guys will always be guys, they would cheat no matter what.

Thats not fair.................... (Feminism !!!)

tayotina:

The lady puts in all her heart while the guy just doesn't care.

hum guys don't always show they care, their anxietys and feelings are suppresed deep inside their heart. They actually do care.

Besides, you got that picture from a feminist website?

So why don't they show it kazey boy? Why do they have to hide their feelings from us. Making us feel as if we are forcing ourselves on them?

Kazey you mean you don't know or you just don't want to accept the fact that guys would always cheat?

As for that pix, I did not get it from a feminist website ok?

what of when girls cheat..??

tayotina:

Kazey you mean you don't know or you just don't want to accept the fact that guys would always cheat?

Their ego my lady , their ego, guys do not like their ladies to feel, they are crazy about them. They like to be at the upper egde. They normally think that when a lady sees that you are crazy about her, she misbehaves. And i agree to some extent.