Never leave a true relationship for a few faults. Nobody is perfect, Nobody is correct. In the end, affection is always greater than perfection- Anonymous

If you were asked what your ideal relationship looked like, what would it look like? Is there any semblance of it to your current relationship?

I hear complains like, when we first started dating, he/she was not like this. They changed overnight. And i ask, What really changed? Our partner or our perception of them?

One of the biggest reasons the quality of relationships diminishes overtime is because we shift focus from all the good qualities we saw in the beginning to all the flaws and imperfections. We begin to see all the negatives. This in turn causes friction in relationship and ultimately lead to break up; for what you focus on, you empower and what you empower rules you.

It is good to have high standards for a relationship, the ‘all or nothing” mindset. As we are all on a journey to settle with someone our heart will be at peace with.

The question is, when does it become extreme? Where do we cross the line from real to unrealistic expectations?

The problem with setting unreasonable standards for others is we will be on a constant lookout for someone better/perfect and can fit into our perfectionist standards.

While this is a good outlook if it is for your car or career, it is destructive when manifested in our relationships.



You underrate your relationship if you are constantly on the look out for faults or perfection. When things are going well, you take it for granted but at the first sign of disagreement, you go off like a bolt of volcano.

Don’t get me wrong, issues like disrespect, rudeness and abuse of any form whether verbal, physical or emotional are viable reasons to break off a relationship right away.

Minor issues like forgetting chores, messes, insensitive statements, forgetfulness on important activities all stand out and metamorphose into big fights because we had long overlook all the good that has neen going on

This tendency is bad to the extent of us seeking out problems when we dont see any in sight and just like the bible says, what you seek, you find.

There are real life issues and there are problems you manufacture in your mind. These non-existent problems cause avoidable disputes.

If you a master fault finder, then you are a perfectionist.

The build up of minor offences is a catalyst to breakdown any loving relationship.

The best way to stop this is by changing your perception. The way you see things and your mind processes it determines your response to it.

If you choose to see the positives and focus on them, you will find yourself more appreciative of your partner. This does not mean disregarding major red flags like violence but overlooking minor annoyances like not taking out the garbage, forgetting to switch off the bulb or leaving thr toilet seat up.

Give your partner the benefit of doubt. Research has shown that when you let people know how much confidence you have placed on them and how you trust them to do right, it will encourage and move them into living upto it.

Note: the keyword here is confidence not expectation. Confidence is letting them play out their plan which you trust will be in the best interest of the both of you while expectations is wanting them to do it your way according to your standard.

What have you been overlooking in your relationship, begin to give your partner credit for it. Take note of all the nice things they do for you and the relationship, appreciate it everyday.

This can apply to all other forms of relationship; parent-children, sibling -sibling, friends, employer – employees.

It is about time you stop being overly critical of others afterall, everybody is flawed including you. Begin to see only the good in them. Hone the strengths and diminsh the weaknesses. Stop destroying your relationship with harsh crictism.

Christ showed us this example by avoiding all forms of crictism. Rather than tell people how bad they are or all the bad things they have done, He made them see past offenses don’t count and how good the future can be.

Follow this example, let the change begin in your heart and you will notice changes in your relation with others. Be less critical and more accepting. Ask the HolySpirit to touch your heart.

What are the key relationships in your life you believe you need to start appreciating more?

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Beautiful piece I must admit

Insightful!

Beautiful write-up...

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Can we talk privately?

So u want me 2 read dis novel....#love aparthist

One of d best piece if not d best I've read on NL this year