what do you even need to call her for?
If na to send western union,no be her loss?

If she won't talk to you quit calling her for chats.
It's obvious she doesn't want to talk to you.
Say nothing ill about her but know that she is not a chatting up material at least for now.

_{after the nuptuals when you don tie the brother with heavy wrapper you can now show her pepper}

just kidding

i think she's just naturally jealous. the only thing is to avoid her, but u can call her once in a while. also, buy her gifts sometimes 2 c if u can win her heart, but don't get 2 familiar with her by discussing ur personal issues with her.

inshort, just be urself and try 2 win the heart of the other members of her family her's 2,by been nice. if she's still difficult, ignore her, she'll come looking 4 ur attention.

well, sheri , just almost took "the talk" from my mouth, but just. One when I first read ur write up i wondered if you were white in a black skin. Like Sheri said why do you have to please her. But yet again u need a peaceful home. Keep keeping a cool head, subtily let others know her she's too busy to call,


MOST important give ger a bit of distance. Don't be too nice. be polite. Just as guys don't want girls who are desperate, girls don't want desperate girls for friends.

When you seem out of reach she'll want you, if she never seeks you out,then she's not the trouble but for peace sake live in peace.

Thanks guys, My fiance isn't even on talking terms with her for now, cuz she said smthg about me (but he wouldn't tell me what, he said '' Titi, you don't want to know what she said'') But he raked for her bigtyme, telling her he hopes she realises, i am his elder brother's wife, tho younger than she is, but whatever respect she gives to him, should be given to me too. I think she was arguing, then he dropped the call on her, and since then, they haven't spoken to each other.

I've been trying to persuade him to call her and just keep the peace but he's isn't giving in, would keep trying tho, cuz i wont like mom in law to know they're quarrelling because of me. I just want peace for the sake of the family. Goodness! I haven't even married him yet. dunno what she'll do when i start to bear her lastname.

sherri:

why do u need to please her?
treat her like u would treat your own difficult sister, how she reacts is not in your control.
a beg, just be yourself! all the best for nuptials

Ah, dat one get as e be o. You don't want the future mother-in-law to say that "it was when this new bride came in, that katakata started between the brother & his younger sister." Mothers will often take sides with their daughters. Blood is thicker than water.

@titilayomi,

Its' best to lie low. Don't let them give you a bad name. If the younger sister reacts negatively, then it may get to the attention of the mother-in-law, who might bring it to her son's notice, as well as to the attention of other family members. Sparks could fly among all those involved. And most men have a soft spot for their mothers. The ensuing friction could even end up affecting your own relationship with the guy. Do you want that? My advice? Play it cool. Win other members of the family who are not as difficult as she is, to your side. Once you pally them, whenever you are not around, they will likely chip in a good word in your favour.

Finally, have you tried to sit her down to have a heart-to-heart talk with her?

Invite her to lunch or drop in on her, unannounced. Ask her quietly & directly, "What offence have I commited against you? Please tell me so I can make ammends." Make her realise that she is not losing a brother, but gaining a sister.

Then see what she says. It might be all you need to break the ice between you. Peace.

@laudate+ taurus
i see o, white in black skin, lol
@titilayomi
the future sister in law has not accussed u of anything, she has made her position clear ( she protecting her territory) all that u can do is be urself, don't be phony , when she gets to know u she will come arround. people like that are better to deal with. she 's honest and upfront.
all the best!

titilayomi

dont worry, she is just jealous of u, probablhy u are prettier or she is upset that u are younger and marrying an amazing guy, something she knows she doesnt have or will never have. hmm so girl put on a big smile and ignore her ass, u guys are going to get married regardless or i hope so, let her boil in her own jealousy

Titilayomi,  the problem is not your sister in-law , its you .YOu are simply yourself when u try to please someone.Its just a naturalk fact. The point is that u should be yourself.U shouldnt care about her liking u "by force" , the bottom line is that your future husband loves u dearly. He should work things out with his sister because the more u try to impress her, the more its going to get worse.

dear, have u heard this say before" what goes around comes around". i guess she is not married. even she is married, she wil not find easy with the husband, but she is not married, and she dey behave like htis, then sorry for her, cos her inlaws will not like her as well.

just play ur cards well and be urself infront of everybody, cos the minute u start pleasing her and displeasing urself, and u dont continue, u become the bad person in front of everybody including ur husband.

another one, make sure u are not the problem, cos am not there to tell.

wishing u luck in life. marriage is not bed of roses, and is not sour either.

Thanks again y'all. Called her on phone yesterday, she was kind of in a good mood cause she picked the call and we chatted for about 2 mins (an improvement of the less than 1 min usual calls) She was even asking about my work(says she learnt some people were made redundant in my company).I was kind of happy she could talk like that, I hope it lasts, Told my fiance about it, talked him into calling her, which he did but she didn't pick her phone nor returned the call.(prolly she's still vexing with him)

send her money by western union to seal this new found love

sherri:

@laudate+ taurus
i see o, white in black skin, lol

Meaning___________ Just what exactly??

na she u dey marry abi na her broda?

Look, as u see me here, with all due respect, i am a loving and loyal person and i will try my best for my in-laws because i believe it is important that they like and accept me as one of them, so that both families will work togther, having said that, i will not compromise my dignity or kill myself for my in laws oh,, i have never been a ppl pleaser and i am not about to start now, i do what's right

If she were a young girl, i will be telling you now to be patient and she will get over it.

BUT it seems she is one grown ass woman, wettin u dey waste ur time?, biko ignore her (avoid her and anything to do with her), carry on with ur husband and the rest of the family, when d demon that possessed her leaves her, she will come to her senses, if not, don't allow it to ruin ur life, esp if she is close to ur brother, heaven knows what stories she will start telling, and its only a matter of time b4 he has to make a choice whether to believe u or his sister,

Just make her understand that u will nto allow her to get to you, and u will avoid her, the day she decides to accept u in her heart, your arms will always be open to recieve her like a sister and treat her liek u have treated the others,

titilayomi
my darling girl NEVER try to go out of your way to please anybody , let them ACCEPT you as you are or GO TO HELL
You are marrying her Elder brother not her, if she does not like it she can Go TO HELL.
Do not be nasty to her but at the same time do not take rubbish from her. If she steps on your toes you make her realise you are the elder and she is the junior.
Bring her to understand that whether or not she likes you she will have to respect you, and you dont give a damn what she thinks about you. She should find her own husband to keep her busy.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh WOMEN

Ask Her what the Case realy is with Her

Buy her gifts and send her recharge cards if you have the money no matter how small. Do all this and then sting her like a scorpion when you guys get married, thank God she is a younger sister. For me, its easy, just win you guys heart first, everyother thing is secondary.

hope everythin is ok now but whatever her behaviour just be nice, nice, nice, nice & nice.
you can't really act the way you will act with an annoying friend or sister with an annoying sister- in-law.

u dont need to try pleasing her.Just be nice to her, its ur fiancée ur marrying not her.

@ postor! why give a damn on the bitch face your fiancee jare!!!!! say watin dey worri her she choop winch?

@ Titi

Look girl, you can onl ydo so much but dont stress it too much, your sister in-law is not God. I had same issue with my Future brother in-law coz he's too bossy and likes too order everyone around. I just gave him a piece of my mind. What happened was that i bought a fairly used air conditioner from my office and kept it in their house (fiancee's family house) for a while. I decided to pick it up after for use and he said he wanted to put it in his room that he had told his brother about it. I was so pissed, i just picked it and left and since the he has been beefing me kind of. who cares? na him money i use buy am? thing is he is so used to taking what is not is from is younger ones and he thinks he can try it with me. Hell no.

Girl forget her

@sparta,
You talk true!

@titilayomi,

Your best bet is to ignore her, if u want peace in your home,

Nowadays, na bro and sis in law be the main wahala for marriage sef, i tire for dem ooo,

SEE ITS BECOS U ARE GIVING HER TOO MUCH ATTENTION THAT IS WHY SHE IS BEHAVING LIKE THAT JUST TRY AND IGNORE HER, WEN U SEE HER ACT AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW HER BUT JUST GREET HER AND GO YOUR WAY, THAT WAY SHE WILL KNOW THAT YOU DON'T CARE WETHER SHE LIKES U OR NOT AND TRY TO GET CLOSER TO YOUR MOTHER IN-LAW AND THE OTHER SISTERS THEN SHE'LL VE NO CHOICE BUT TO GIVE UP.

IF NOT FORGET HER NO BE YOU  AND AM GO LIVE 4 HOUSE 

if u r nice 2 anyone at d person is giving u "attitude" best tin is just ignore her an act like she doesnt exist.d more attention u give her n she knows u r trying 2 win her love d nastier she will be.i think her problem is dat she is still trying 2 adjust 2 d fact dat there'll be a lil gap now since he's engaged.as long as his parents and other older siblings r ok with u,ignore her,at least by dat she wount have d opportunity 2 luk 4 trouble.dont call her again n dont ask after her.d important tin is dat ur fiancee has put her in her place. kudos 2 ur fiancee 4 taken dat decision if its some men dey'll go n confront their fiancee there by giving d lil b**ch attention and opportunity 2 come between u n ur fiance

Hello Titilayomi,

You started this thread in 2007; that's 5yrs ago. How is your marriage and your relationship with your SIL?

titilayomi:
Thanks 'y'all. I'll try my best to give her the required respect and i hope she doesn't overstep her boundary. We hardly talk anywayz, and when we do its all formal and within a minute the phone conversation is over.

sorry

ferhyntorlah:
Hello Titilayomi,

You started this thread in 2007; that's 5yrs ago. How is your marriage and your relationship with your SIL?

she got pregnant for another guy abroad,so the (hubby to be)dumped her b!tchy assss,nobody wants a hoe for a wife.

Hmmmm...all I can say is God please blesse with a good family to marry from.

yemivictor:
titilayomi! titilayomi!! titilayomi!!! hmm, aw many times did i call u?
There has been many useful contributions here u know!
But, after all said & done, and above every other thing, i sincerely hope that your past is intact!!!
There is no smoke without fire o! and also be very careful & prayerful!
I wish u good luck!

she got busted

thee are other ways of communicating SMS, facebook etc. Just leave a message and she can reply when she wishes too.
Don`t make her an issue, such things often become issues when we attach unusual importance and attention to her.
She has to face her husbands home while you face yours.