I have been married for about 8 years now, but it has been sorrow tears and blood. Sincerely I do not know where to start from but a good place should be from our dating days. We dated for about three years before we got married. During our dating days, so many fights happened enough to cause breakup, but somehow with intervention from third parties and my lack of being man enough, we kept resolving issues. Even two occasions of cheating on me.
Looking back, I think I made so many series of mistakes, like allowing too many things to slide all in the name of love and faith. These gave her the audacity to feel indispensable, she brought this attitude into the marriage and things have only grown from bad to worse.
She has some good qualities though, but the main problem is that she is heartless, disrespectful to all, I mean not just to me, but everyone in her family. The only way I have peace at home is never to say anything about her character, once I try to correct her, she usually yells back at me, and that may mean days or weeks of not talking to me.
As I type now, she is not in communication with any of her 7 siblings, both younger and senior siblings, because she feels everyone must apologise to her whenever there are any misunderstandings.
Her mother dare not speak to her because she is the main person that finances her mother. Her mother also lost a good relationship with her other children because the other children feel their mother has been very biased towards her. She has no communication what so ever with her paternal family, because her parents divorced when she was a child, so since then, her mother shielded her away from her father, It was only during the manage I insisted that the fathers family must be involved, that was about the second time she was in contact with her paternal family all her life. She is not in communication with any of her maternal aunt or uncles as well. I remember clearly, during our dating days she was always complaining about her aunt and uncles, I just felt those were normal family issues. I was kind of very open to her family members, the truth is that they all really liked me. I remember that two of her aunts on separate occasions once told me to be very careful about her, that if I choose to marry her, I must be ready to be very strong-headed at all times, I never really took them seriously because I thought it was just the regular women thing.
Every time we have misunderstanding, I will always be the one to make the move to settle the matter. Never has she apologised for anything, the only time she apologised was when I ran into a message from her friend where they were just greeting casually, like how is family, the kids etc. suddenly the guy was asking her if she misses him. I was surprised, that her response to the guy was that ‘ my husband is right here by my side, what do you think you saying’.The chat continued casually till the guy asked again ‘you did not answer my question, and she said, were you expecting me to answer, and the guy said yes of course.
Sadly, initially when I confronted, she just started screaming and saying the guy was married, and she became very angry, I left the house, and she was very livid with me, after about one week when I will not make peace she apologised and convinced me that it was really nothing but just casual talk. I forgave her right away.
For the past 5 years now, I have been literally sleeping in a different room, (I sleep on and off in our bedroom because anytime there is quarrel, she always refuses to sleep in same bed with me, and she keeps nagging to the extent of making the children understand, so I have to leave in order to avoid this. even if I choose to stay, after some days, she starts locking the room and locking me out) so I have to always move out of the room whenever there is any misunderstanding.
Also, at the slightest misunderstanding, she will stop doing all her duties, she leaves home anytime she likes and comes back anytime she likes. She only tells me where she is going when she is very happy if I try to confront her, all she says is that I should also not tell her if I am leaving home.
Everything almost ends up in disagreement, always quarrelling with the kids, and with everybody, not even any good or close friend, I am so much afraid for the kids now because they live in constant fear.
in my opinion, I think she does not want the marriage anymore after all the government is there to take care of her
One of the main reason I am sticking around now is because of the kids to shield them as much as possible. However, I was at the hospital two weeks ago and I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, rightly so, because the stress has been too much. This is the reason I have to get my peace back before it progresses to a stroke.
There is nobody to talk to any more, her mother can not talk to her, she is not in communication with her siblings, zero communication with paternal family. They barely even know her, more so as she, she did not grow up with her father, so the paternal family have no say in her life.

THIS IS MY STORY.

You saw the warning signs but still went ahead and dived into the pit all because of your love lust for the pussy like Samson in the Bible. Even after cheating on you twice, you still went ahead to marry her

My brother, nah you do yourself.

Remain calm and move on.

This marriage matters sef. Las las Na baby mama go end am for me. I have zero tolerance for drama and nagging.

My heart truly bleeds for you.
No human deserve to be trap in such a hell.

I am glad you acknowledged the fact that you were the architect of your undoing. You shouldn't have married such a woman... Someone who cheated on you twice.

You've paid for your mistakes. You've endured enough.

Don't you think it's time to leave and move on?
Is it not unhealthy to raise your kids in such a home?

I think everyone deserves better.
You shouldn't be miserable, unhappy and in pains.

I think life is too short to tolerate bùllshít. So sad.

Osanobua. Op be strong. Have you tried digging deep? Can we talk offline

The worst thing that could happen to a man is to marry a bad wife. Some women could be managed, but a bad one has no redemption. I've seen and heard enough to believe that women pretend the most while in courtship just to be wifed, and after marriage, you get to see a whole new person. At times, love clouds your sense of judgment so it's easy to be fallible. Don't blame yourself. You only picked the wrong one.

I won't tell you to leave, or stay. Whatever decision you make is your prerogative.

I'm really sorry about what you are going through. Bi remember you have your whole life ahead of you, unless she's the on feeding you, you should be ready to go correct your mistakes, and right away.

Don't be too hard on yourself, however, do not look for pity, you are a man, men fix things, we don't whine or court sympathy. Get a divorce, start all over again, trust me, you'll be thankful you did, and you need to get redpilled so you don't make the same mistake with another woman.

Aww
I won't say i felt ur pain becos i haven't been dere buh i will say i understand ur pain..
A nagging wife is the worstiest(if there is a word like that) person to marry..
Y dnt you talk to ur pastor..i no she will respect her pastor..

If love is blind, then marriage is an eye opener.

Heartless
Cheat
Disrespectful
Nag
Bad wife
Quarrelsome even with her family
Patapata she has no good side
You just painted her black.
And you've been with her for 8years and breeding with her You have been the best husband to her?
Lolzz that's all I have to say.

I am sorry your marriage is this way. You need to find a way to resolve it for the kids.

Really sad, I am not an advocate of divorce but this your case is leaning towards that, maybe separation will do for now, when she doesn't see you around the house anymore, she will feel your absence and her brain would reset except her behaviour na follow come, either way, pls move out and take care of your self abeg.

Lamentations of hefty weak souls

-1.0 balls

Pukes

[img]https:///view/puke-throwup-gif-5972459.gif[/img]

Bro hear me well
Don’t stay in same room with her again,let her come around you herself. Act as if you don’t give a bleep about anything she does, later she will get tired if she’s always nagging alone.
If you divorce her now, your kids moral and mental psychology will be damaged.
So just play cool God be with you sir

Too bad, there are 2options to chose from. One is to go for separation, not divorce. The 2nd is to live in that same house with her, and ignore her as much as you can. She has problem with her siblings, relatives, and her hubby (you), it's enough to show she is bad, she may be tired of the marriage. A separation will wake her up and bring her to reality, if she ever had any love for you. But if she has no love for you, she's gonna abandon you during the separation.

qereshi:
I have been married for about 8 years now, but it has been sorrow tears and blood. Sincerely I do not know where to start from but a good place should be from our dating days. We dated for about three years before we got married. During our dating days, so many fights happened enough to cause breakup, but somehow with intervention from third parties and my lack of being man enough, we kept resolving issues. Even two occasions of cheating on me.
Looking back, I think I made so many series of mistakes, like allowing too many things to slide all in the name of love and faith. These gave her the audacity to feel indispensable, she brought this attitude into the marriage and things have only grown from bad to worse.
She has some good qualities though, but the main problem is that she is heartless, disrespectful to all, I mean not just to me, but everyone in her family. The only way I have peace at home is never to say anything about her character, once I try to correct her, she usually yells back at me, and that may mean days or weeks of not talking to me.
As I type now, she is not in communication with any of her 7 siblings, both younger and senior siblings, because she feels everyone must apologise to her whenever there are any misunderstandings.
Her mother dare not speak to her because she is the main person that finances her mother. Her mother also lost a good relationship with her other children because the other children feel their mother has been very biased towards her. She has no communication what so ever with her paternal family, because her parents divorced when she was a child, so since then, her mother shielded her away from her father, It was only during the manage I insisted that the fathers family must be involved, that was about the second time she was in contact with her paternal family all her life. She is not in communication with any of her maternal aunt or uncles as well. I remember clearly, during our dating days she was always complaining about her aunt and uncles, I just felt those were normal family issues. I was kind of very open to her family members, the truth is that they all really liked me. I remember that two of her aunts on separate occasions once told me to be very careful about her, that if I choose to marry her, I must be ready to be very strong-headed at all times, I never really took them seriously because I thought it was just the regular women thing.
Every time we have misunderstanding, I will always be the one to make the move to settle the matter. Never has she apologised for anything, the only time she apologised was when I ran into a message from her friend where they were just greeting casually, like how is family, the kids etc. suddenly the guy was asking her if she misses him. I was surprised, that her response to the guy was that ‘ my husband is right here by my side, what do you think you saying’.The chat continued casually till the guy asked again ‘you did not answer my question, and she said, were you expecting me to answer, and the guy said yes of course.
Sadly, initially when I confronted, she just started screaming and saying the guy was married, and she became very angry, I left the house, and she was very livid with me, after about one week when I will not make peace she apologised and convinced me that it was really nothing but just casual talk. I forgave her right away.
For the past 5 years now, I have been literally sleeping in a different room, (I sleep on and off in our bedroom because anytime there is quarrel, she always refuses to sleep in same bed with me, and she keeps nagging to the extent of making the children understand, so I have to leave in order to avoid this. even if I choose to stay, after some days, she starts locking the room and locking me out) so I have to always move out of the room whenever there is any misunderstanding.
Also, at the slightest misunderstanding, she will stop doing all her duties, she leaves home anytime she likes and comes back anytime she likes. She only tells me where she is going when she is very happy if I try to confront her, all she says is that I should also not tell her if I am leaving home.
Everything almost ends up in disagreement, always quarrelling with the kids, and with everybody, not even any good or close friend, I am so much afraid for the kids now because they live in constant fear.
in my opinion, I think she does not want the marriage anymore after all the government is there to take care of her
One of the main reason I am sticking around now is because of the kids to shield them as much as possible. However, I was at the hospital two weeks ago and I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, rightly so, because the stress has been too much. This is the reason I have to get my peace back before it progresses to a stroke.
There is nobody to talk to any more, her mother can not talk to her, she is not in communication with her siblings, zero communication with paternal family. They barely even know her, more so as she, she did not grow up with her father, so the paternal family have no say in her life.

THIS IS MY STORY.

FloraEC:
Heartless
Cheat
Disrespectful
Nag
Bad wife
Quarrelsome even with her family
Patapata she has no good side
You just painted her black.
And you've been with her for 8years and breeding with her You have been the best husband to her?
Lolzz that's all I have to say.

Oga please I am not perfect at all, please read what I wrote, it is not about me alone, what about the quarrel with her siblings that has remained unsettled for years till now, what about her mum?. ...

JasonScoolari:
You saw the warning signs but still went ahead and dived into the pit all because of your love lust for the pussy like Samson in the Bible. Even after cheating on you twice, you still went ahead to marry her

My brother, nah you do yourself.

Remain calm and move on.

No mind am foolishess in highest order

About the topic you have no idea the mean if it ................

Extremely a bad wife.
God!!!

Sorrow, tears, and blood got me laughing hard.

Maybe it's because I love Fela.


No woman defers to a weak man. Any man who forgives infidelity is a weak man.

This your problem pass my power.

FloraEC:
Heartless
Cheat
Disrespectful
Nag
Bad wife
Quarrelsome even with her family
Patapata she has no good side
You just painted her black.
And you've been with her for 8years and breeding with her You have been the best husband to her?
Lolzz that's all I have to say.

Dumbass

I could not resist. Sorry

FloraEC:
Heartless
Cheat
Disrespectful
Nag
Bad wife
Quarrelsome even with her family
Patapata she has no good side
You just painted her black.
And you've been with her for 8years and breeding with her You have been the best husband to her?
Lolzz that's all I have to say.

Hypocrisy. Like you don't know many women are like this in marriages

FloraEC:
Heartless
Cheat
Disrespectful
Nag
Bad wife
Quarrelsome even with her family
Patapata she has no good side
You just painted her black.
And you've been with her for 8years and breeding with her You have been the best husband to her?
Lolzz that's all I have to say.

Hypocrisy. Like you don't know many women are like this in marriages...

qereshi:
Oga please I am not perfect at all, please read what I wrote, it is not about me alone, what about the quarrel with her siblings that has remained unsettled for years till now, what about her mum?. ...

Yea, I read what you wrote well but since is one-sided, I refuse to judge.
You knew she was that terrible and still settled down with her, spent 8years with her as her husband, birth kids too. You've passed the early stages of marriage and sticked managed together, didn't she have any good side throughout that period or was she like this? That means you've been unhappy in 2,920 days of your life in marriage?
I refuse to believe

essenceplus:


Hypocrisy. Like you don't know many women are like this in marriages ..

Lot of things can make a woman change in marriage but for someone to settle down and spend 8years with a woman who doesn't give him peace is hard to believe. She didn't pretend to be nice and good so as to get married to him cos they passed through the courtship stage(3yrs faa) and op still got married to her without a knife on his throat. Obviously, he saw something in her that made him choose her.
I've only one thing to say:
He who fetched the ant infested firewood, invited the lizard into his house

ThothHermes:
Dumbass

I could not resist. Sorry

Dumbass friend
No problem.

GrabHisBalls:
The worst thing that could happen to a man is to marry a bad wife. Some women could be managed, but a bad one has no redemption. I've seen and heard enough to believe that women pretend the most while in courtship just to be wifed, and after marriage, you get to see a whole new person. At times, love clouds your sense of judgment so it's easy to be fallible. Don't blame yourself. You only picked the wrong one.

I won't tell you to leave, or stay. Whatever decision you make is your prerogative.

I prefer to remain single than getting married to somebody that will sign my suicide note. I can't cope in that type of marriage because I am emotionally weak.

Did you find out why her parents got divorced? It could be that she is like her mum or her mum's actions influenced her upbringing and mindset. So divorce might not be a big deal to her.

How can you be the only one apologizing. That kind of relationship is a toxic one. And your wife is set in her ways and doesn't seem like she will change.

Only you can take a decision. But whatever you do, please just make sure the children are well taken care of

Worry not @OP. History is just about to repeat itself. Divorce is a generational thing to those who fail to learn from history.

qereshi:
I have been married for about 8 years now, but it has been sorrow tears and blood. Sincerely I do not know where to start from but a good place should be from our dating days. We dated for about three years before we got married. During our dating days, so many fights happened enough to cause breakup, but somehow with intervention from third parties and my lack of being man enough, we kept resolving issues. Even two occasions of cheating on me.
Looking back, I think I made so many series of mistakes, like allowing too many things to slide all in the name of love and faith. These gave her the audacity to feel indispensable, she brought this attitude into the marriage and things have only grown from bad to worse.
She has some good qualities though, but the main problem is that she is heartless, disrespectful to all, I mean not just to me, but everyone in her family. The only way I have peace at home is never to say anything about her character, once I try to correct her, she usually yells back at me, and that may mean days or weeks of not talking to me.
As I type now, she is not in communication with any of her 7 siblings, both younger and senior siblings, because she feels everyone must apologise to her whenever there are any misunderstandings.
Her mother dare not speak to her because she is the main person that finances her mother. Her mother also lost a good relationship with her other children because the other children feel their mother has been very biased towards her. She has no communication what so ever with her paternal family, because her parents divorced when she was a child, so since then, her mother shielded her away from her father, It was only during the manage I insisted that the fathers family must be involved, that was about the second time she was in contact with her paternal family all her life. She is not in communication with any of her maternal aunt or uncles as well. I remember clearly, during our dating days she was always complaining about her aunt and uncles, I just felt those were normal family issues. I was kind of very open to her family members, the truth is that they all really liked me. I remember that two of her aunts on separate occasions once told me to be very careful about her, that if I choose to marry her, I must be ready to be very strong-headed at all times, I never really took them seriously because I thought it was just the regular women thing.
Every time we have misunderstanding, I will always be the one to make the move to settle the matter. Never has she apologised for anything, the only time she apologised was when I ran into a message from her friend where they were just greeting casually, like how is family, the kids etc. suddenly the guy was asking her if she misses him. I was surprised, that her response to the guy was that ‘ my husband is right here by my side, what do you think you saying’.The chat continued casually till the guy asked again ‘you did not answer my question, and she said, were you expecting me to answer, and the guy said yes of course.
Sadly, initially when I confronted, she just started screaming and saying the guy was married, and she became very angry, I left the house, and she was very livid with me, after about one week when I will not make peace she apologised and convinced me that it was really nothing but just casual talk. I forgave her right away.
For the past 5 years now, I have been literally sleeping in a different room, (I sleep on and off in our bedroom because anytime there is quarrel, she always refuses to sleep in same bed with me, and she keeps nagging to the extent of making the children understand, so I have to leave in order to avoid this. even if I choose to stay, after some days, she starts locking the room and locking me out) so I have to always move out of the room whenever there is any misunderstanding.
Also, at the slightest misunderstanding, she will stop doing all her duties, she leaves home anytime she likes and comes back anytime she likes. She only tells me where she is going when she is very happy if I try to confront her, all she says is that I should also not tell her if I am leaving home.
Everything almost ends up in disagreement, always quarrelling with the kids, and with everybody, not even any good or close friend, I am so much afraid for the kids now because they live in constant fear.
in my opinion, I think she does not want the marriage anymore after all the government is there to take care of her
One of the main reason I am sticking around now is because of the kids to shield them as much as possible. However, I was at the hospital two weeks ago and I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, rightly so, because the stress has been too much. This is the reason I have to get my peace back before it progresses to a stroke.
There is nobody to talk to any more, her mother can not talk to her, she is not in communication with her siblings, zero communication with paternal family. They barely even know her, more so as she, she did not grow up with her father, so the paternal family have no say in her life.

THIS IS MY STORY.

First of all, I must applaud you for your patience and self control. You are already in this union and it's for better or worse. I would advise you to stand up to your position as a man. You need to make her understand that you are the man of the house, the head and "lord" over her. She needs to understand that you can walk away if she doesn't put a leash on her terrible and distasteful character. Perhaps she feels encouraged to do these things because she knows that you probably may not react. You need to "change it for her"( pardon my French). By that I don't mean violence please, but be firm, let there be retribution for every ill character she displays... Good luck.

Avast:

I prefer to remain single than getting married to somebody that will sign my suicide note. I can cope in that type of marriage because I am emotionally weak.

Emotionally weak? Then you shouldn't get married. Even if you marry an Angel, your willpower would be tested and your energy zapped. You have to work OK that bro.