ahnie:
Truth be told.....you just have to tread carefully.....by the way,you ought to have informed him of his father's demise..it's his right to know.

smatt1711:
You should state your tribe. Every tribe has a way of dealing with something like this , but if you are IGBO then the question I will be asking you is how did your father disown him, in Law you can't disown a child that is yours , then in igbo culture you can disown but not by mere words , the man must call his kinsmen and give them reason the effected child should not be part of his family ,why the kinsmen is important is because one person does not own a child , the man disowning his son is also the same thing with the entire kinsmen disowning him, he will not live in that village again , ...... but what I understand clearly is that your brother and your father was not in good terms , that still did not stop him as the 1st son, and my understanding your father did not disown him and that is why your uncle accompanied him, he is still a member of that village and also your father's 1st son hence he is still living in that village , he can not be in that village and play a second son role ,that role can not be swapped in igbo culture, is either he is disowned and asked to leave the village or he is still in the village , and once he is still in the village he is still your father's 1st son and he should not be consulted but he should head over everything concerning your father's burial, Igbo tradition for you.

jmoore:


I am Igbo.

Is tradition supreme?

That's why I need a legal perspective. Because some umunna no get sense.

Richy4:
On the burial day, 5 or 6 policemen's physical presence brandishing their weapons will do the magic... The thing is, can you afford them? or know someone that knows someone... Army will add more spices or will I say an icing on the cake....

just ignore anyone that tells you to invite him on the burial date... did he travel abroad that he doesn't know that his father is no more? I am sorry for your lose dear

smatt1711:
Tradition is supreme because some part of it has be captured in the Nigeria legal system , the truth is once your kingsman are aligning with him, then it means your father made some mistakes and is not the boys fault , since he is not the same mother with you you may not see those mistakes

jmoore:

Travel wetin?
If I list the evil things he did, this nairaland won't contain it. For a father to disown his son shows something.

Richy4:


But where is he@ the moment?... Who communicated to you that he has a plan of disrupting the burial?... During the meeting when you called your kindred to let them know about your father's demise and the planned date for the interment, Was the rest of the family members there including your half brothers and sisters?

AishaYesufu:
Whether your father orally disowned him or not, he is still the Okpala of the family. Granted that him and your father (his father) were not in good terms but your father didn't follow the tradition to "disown him", thereby rendering it invalid. In Igbo land, the place and role of the first son cannot be taken from him except he is disowned or dead.

jmoore:


The bone of contention is not who is first son or not.

AishaYesufu:

The problem is that you are usurping his authority

AishaYesufu:

The problem is that you are usurping his authority

MRKRABS2:
First of all He is not your stepbrother,he is your elder half brother. Secondly I believe that it is your choice as a family to choose whether your father's death will tear your family apart due to all your past conflicts or to bring you together as a family and acknowledge that in the past mistakes have been made,bitter words said and hatred brewed due to different issues but that in the end BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER...... You don't have to to be close but at least be civil and respectful to one another.

jmoore:


My stepbrother came to Aba on Friday. I don't know his whereabouts now.

One of Uncles called him, he has always been supporting him since the day his rebellion started. This same uncle who lives in the village in Anambra didn't visit when my father was sick since 2019.

We live in Aba. A cousin of mine that lives in the village visited us In Aba after hearing the news of our father's death, while the uncle supporting my stepbrother has not visited us.

Only few of my siblings are around. We don't want to plans to disrupt their schedules. We meet in the village when the burial date comes closer. Our sisters are still in school. We communicate on phone to pass info.

The village union in Aba has been informed of the date of the burial, including the church here in Aba and our hometown in Anambra.

Richy4:


@ Bold were the most important.. Now the next step is police Presence...
To make sure there was peace and your dad rests/ interred in peace on that day...Do you have a trusted person in Anambra state... especially from your maternal side that can handle security issues... You guys will be really busy on that day shuttling interstate.. I thought it will be a thing of within locals/ state.... The most unimaginable will be arriving in your state only to meet resistance and embarrassment on that day.. Armed Police will be a necessity ...

jmoore:

The cousin that visited is a member of the vigilante group in our village. He is aware of the threats.

We will arrive few days before the burial date.

smatt1711:
Tradition is supreme because some part of it has be captured in the Nigeria legal system , the truth is once your kingsman are aligning with him, then it means your father made some mistakes and is not the boys fault , since he is not the same mother with you you may not see those mistakes

jmoore:

Authority over who?
He has authority over my mother?

My mother(the spouse) of my father is still alive.


Where was his authority when my father was sick?

My stepbrother hired kidnappers to kidnap my father.
He said it openly in the market that my father will die.

So which authority does he deserve? The news of my father's death is good news to him.

I want to explore legal way of stopping him and probably one of my wicked uncle who is supporting him from anything concerning the burial

Macphenson:


Please I beg of you , am Igbo also, I wish this can be discussed privately so these other people don't start insulting the Igbos on a public forum.

The truth is , he is now the head of the family and he has authority over your father's house. That's the tradition. Your mum is a woman and not a man. Your.mum can never break kola in the gathering of Umunna, that is very symbolic.

I understand your brother is wayward and wicked. If the allegations of kidnapping were true, your dad would have involved the law enforcement agencies and disown him legally.

He could have also gathered the Umunna and disown him in their presence citing the kidnapping issue.

But unfortunatly no decisive step was taken by your father in disowning him, just words of mouth, so know this simple fact, he is still a member of that family , and since he is the first son, he has authority over that house.

That's the simple truth.

jmoore:

Nna, that's your own opinion.
In my family, the wife comes first before any child.

Where was his authority when my father was sick?

post=100287262:

If that is how it is in your family, we shouldn't be here discussing this then.

Mom should take charge of everything.

May dad's soul Rest in Perfect Peace.

jmoore:

She is already in charge. Just came to seek for a legal way to obstruct anyone that plans to disrupt the burial.