Am in love with a single mother, she had her daughter she was in secondary. Though she and her lover had seperated since the birth of daughter years ago. My question - is it cool for a single to go ahead to marry a single mother of 1. Thanks

Yes its cool, please dont listen to negativities.

lardor:
Am in love with a single mother, she had her daughter she was in secondary. Though she and her lover had seperated since the birth of daughter years ago. My question - is it cool for a single with a body count of 1, go ahead to marry a single mother of 1. Thanks

how do you mean "body count of 1"?

I'm sorry.. body count of 1?

Please explain the body count of 1

Ask yourself these questions first?

1. Is the love one side or reciprocated?

2. Does she have a source of income or are you her source of income? [If she doesn't, sorry, dump her ass.]

Dude, your concern is understandable. After all, you are imposing yourself on an existing family. You need to be sure she also loves you & you've no problem taking care of her child as your own. Think hard about this.

Personally, I'd have no qualms.

Cool
If she have a good job
But if it is vice versa
It is a Big No

your choice...their are positives and negatives

lardor:
Am in love with a single mother, she had her daughter she was in secondary. Though she and her lover had seperated since the birth of daughter years ago. My question - is it cool for a single with a body count of 1, go ahead to marry a single mother of 1. Thanks

If her name is Frances no

Nothing bad about it, as long as you accept the challenge that comes with it, it's not going to be all Rosy bro

I will only when the father of the baby is no more.

Of course you can, that's if only you've got the Emotional stability that is required. Best of luck.

Nawao..this after one people just full everywhere..

Why is it that a man can marry a woman who had a child out of wedlock and still live peacefully but when its the other way round, the man's kid automatically turns the house help or even the punching bag of the wife.

Why is this common with Nigerian wives ?

Nothing wrong with it, if you love her I don’t think it should be a dealbreaker. Bear in mind it comes with some extra responsibilities though (I won’t say ‘cons’).

There’s the possibility of having to deal with her ex, you are signing up to help raise someone else’s child, this will involve both financially and emotionally supporting the child. Disciplining the child may be awkward or even out of the question. Depending on what age the child was when they were introduced to you, developing a relationship may take a lot of time and patience. Usually, the younger the child, the easier to 'adjust' to the 'newfangled' family dynamic, if they’re older it’s unlikely that they’ll think of you as their parent immediately if at all, you’ll have to earn their trust and respect.

Best of luck.

lardor:
Am in love with a single mother, she had her daughter she was in secondary. Though she and her lover had seperated since the birth of daughter years ago. My question - is it cool for a single with a body count of 1, go ahead to marry a single mother of 1. Thanks

Not Cool man

lardor:
Am in love with a single mother, she had her daughter she was in secondary. Though she and her lover had seperated since the birth of daughter years ago. My question - is it cool for a single with a body count of 1, go ahead to marry a single mother of 1. Thanks

Nothing cool about it

Sorry for late response, the body count , i mean just having only one intimacy with lady all my life,

Thanks for your input, am grate for your honest contribution. Thanks to you all

Guy nor try rubbish..

U re too young to die due to complications..

Vizzim:
Please explain the body count of 1

let skip that please

SageMK:
Ask yourself these questions first?

1. Is the love one side or reciprocated?

2. Does she have a source of income or are you her source of income? [If she doesn't, sorry, dump her ass.]

Dude, your concern is understandable. After all, you are imposing yourself on an existing family. You need to be sure she also loves you & you've no problem taking care of her child as your own. Think hard about this.

Personally, I'd have no qualms.

your advice is noted thanks so much

internationalman:
I will only when the father of the baby is no more.

the daughter is already in her teen age, she gave birth in her secondary school days

ibkayee:
Nothing wrong with it, if you love her I don’t think it should be a dealbreaker. Bear in mind it comes with some extra responsibilities though (I won’t say ‘cons’).

There’s the possibility of having to deal with her ex, you are signing up to help raise someone else’s child, this will involve both financially and emotionally supporting the child. Disciplining the child may be awkward or even out of the question. Depending on what age the child was when they were introduced to you, developing a relationship may take a lot of time and patience. Usually, the younger the child, the easier to 'adjust' to the 'newfangled' family dynamic, if they’re older it’s unlikely that they’ll think of you as their parent immediately if at all, you’ll have to earn their trust and respect.

Best of luck.

your huge advice is well taken

lardor:
the daughter is already in her teen age, she gave birth in her secondary school days

If the father is still alive chances are they could still connect anytime.. A child has a way of connecting parents

It's a bad idea if you want to listen but if you don't, be ready to dance to the tone,
Strictly on your own.
I won't advice you to go into sure marriage.

Shibaraba:

If her name is Frances no

Why don't you want anyone to marry your baby mama since it's clear you aren't ready?

[quote author=IfYouKnowYouKno post=80991082][/quote]
So what do you want me to do with these pictures

OP she is beautiful, go with your heart. But if it's my brother I would say no. A woman's love is in layers: Her first love > Her child > her children > husband.

You need to know that that child would always be loved more than you. And if you both have kids, the child would be loved more than your kids. It's her imprint, her experience. No one can ever take the child's place in her heart. She might even be marrying you to have resources to care for the child.

Except you want to adopt him/her as your own, then prepare to play second fiddle. You wouldn't be able to discipline the child, because it's HER OWN. He/she might never respect you

Single mothers ( except in the case of a window/rape) are a big no for men around me, as most are consequence of horrible decisions made by those women.

I am all for having sex, have all the sex you want but don't get pregnant. We, matured ladies don't get pregnant by accident, that is a conscious decision, made with deep emotional commitment.

( look at the Baby mama phenomenon, those ladies are already hurt with the imprint that they are worth nothing and wouldn't take a serious commitment seriously) Some nice guy once ask Sophia Mamodu out and she laughted at his request because Davido has destroyed her normal reasoning of her self worth.

To her she is worth nothing less than a Davido leftover. Even if she marries the husband would never "meet up with the standard of Davido, she has in her head " it's a stuff called an "Alpha Window"

Most Single mother's would continue to make bad decisions. No hating.

There must be some qualities you love about her, hence you're considering marriage. Why does it matter what anyone else thinks?