This is for the ladies who are looking to settle down.

When it comes to dating, the saying goes there’s no one way rule to go about it but I believe they’re ways to help yourself if things are not going to plan. But I really want to speak on something extremely important, something that has changed my life. When I entered the dating world, I would meet loads of guys. I was so focused on the external aspect of my life, my looks, my clothes my hair, my body and all these shallow things that had no substance. I thought these things will give me the man I wanted. I gave up my body freely to men within only months of dating, and I began to see a pattern. I was attracting the same kind of men and I was seeing the same results, men who would come in and out of my life and nothing else. I decided to make a change. This generation encourages casual sex, vanity and nonsensical things. There’s a reason why so many women are single in this generation, searching for husbands when some of the problems lie deep within yourself,something that men will never reveal to you.

Women please stop giving out your body so freely, it devalues and cheapens you. Stop having sex with a man within the first second third etc month. I 100 percent advise against pre marital sex but if you must, build a solid friendship based on trust and understanding before unraveling that side of you. A man might stay with you, he will love you, but he will never take you seriously if you share such an intimate side of you so quickly. Men are very smart when choosing a wife, a man of value is not going to marry a lady who doesn’t carry her body like a pure temple. If you are a virgin, please keep it and NEVER give it up to a man who is not your husband. Your husband will cherish you so much as virginity is one of the best gifts you can give to each other in marriage. If you are getting the same results from men, this is probably the number one reason why. They’re good men out there, you just need to value yourself more. Sex will not keep him no matter how good you think you are in bed.

I also need ladies to have more substance. Your fine sexy body with perfect makeup and wigs will not get you the desired man you dream of. Showing off your body might get you attention, but not the one you truly desire for a long lasting relationship. Sometimes you might see a couple, a very fine man with a plain looking woman, and then you ask yourself why? why her and not me, im beautiful yet no man takes me seriously, whyy?Darling, its because there’s something about the plain woman that makes her outstanding from the rest. She has internal substance which has longevity. Your inner beauty shines brighter than the one outside. Work on your character ladies. This is not to say you can go around looking unpresentable, but try not to fix your whole life on looks and shallow things which fade. Have substance, wisdom, a career, kindness, homely attributes, something tangible that can attract a man equal to your kind.

Use your youth wisely and Invest your time meaningful. Because once it’s gone, you’ll only have your self to blame. Do not allow the nasty things of this generation to waste your time.

And the man that cheapened himself and accepted the sex too early nko


It takes two to tango jor.



He is a cheap man and a man without valor

Epistles for ladies while boys are left to you wallow in filth.

First of all, you are not in the position to tell any woman what to do with her body. The title of your thread is commanding and therefore rude.
Secondly, what you are trying to sell here as original thought based on your unique experience is what women have heard/read a thousand times in their lives.

There's a greater purpose to life than sex, marriage and what not.
To the single ladies/gentlemen out there, maximize your single status. It's the best time to pursue your goals and self development relentlessly.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i41qWJ6QjPI

JoannaSedley:
Epistles for ladies while boys are left to you wallow in filth.

hmmm

BRETHA:
This is for the ladies who are looking to settle down.

When it comes to dating, the saying goes there’s no one way rule to go about it but I believe they’re ways to help yourself if things are not going to plan. But I really want to speak on something extremely important, something that has changed my life. When I entered the dating world, I would meet loads of guys. I was so focused on the external aspect of my life, my looks, my clothes my hair, my body and all these shallow things that had no substance. I thought these things will give me the man I wanted. I gave up my body freely to men within only months of dating, and I began to see a pattern. I was attracting the same kind of men and I was seeing the same results, men who would come in and out of my life and nothing else. I decided to make a change. This generation encourages casual sex, vanity and nonsensical things. There’s a reason why so many women are single in this generation, searching for husbands when some of the problems lie deep within yourself,something that men will never reveal to you.

Women please stop giving out your body so freely, it devalues and cheapens you. Stop having sex with a man within the first second third etc month. I 100 percent advise against pre marital sex but if you must, build a solid friendship based on trust and understanding before unraveling that side of you. A man might stay with you, he will love you, but he will never take you seriously if you share such an intimate side of you so quickly. Men are very smart when choosing a wife, a man of value is not going to marry a lady who doesn’t carry her body like a pure temple. If you are a virgin, please keep it and NEVER give it up to a man who is not your husband. Your husband will cherish you so much as virginity is one of the best gifts you can give to each other in marriage. If you are getting the same results from men, this is probably the number one reason why. They’re good men out there, you just need to value yourself more. Sex will not keep him no matter how good you think you are in bed.

I also need ladies to have more substance. Your fine sexy body with perfect makeup and wigs will not get you the desired man you dream of. Showing off your body might get you attention, but not the one you truly desire for a long lasting relationship. Sometimes you might see a couple, a very fine man with a plain looking woman, and then you ask yourself why? why her and not me, im beautiful yet no man takes me seriously, whyy?Darling, its because there’s something about the plain woman that makes her outstanding from the rest. She has internal substance which has longevity. Your inner beauty shines brighter than the one outside. Work on your character ladies. This is not to say you can go around looking unpresentable, but try not to fix your whole life on looks and shallow things which fade. Have substance, wisdom, a career, kindness, homely attributes, something tangible that can attract a man equal to your kind.

Use your youth wisely and Invest your time meaningful. Because once it’s gone, you’ll only have your self to blame. Do not allow the nasty things of this generation to waste your time.

Nobody give a sh*t about what you need. If you were so focused on all the advise you are dishing here you will not have time "need" anything from other women.

My own is, when are men going to start giving women their virginity for christ’s f*cking sake? I need virginity to cherish the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

It's good that you figured out why men weren't sticking around but just b|c you were giving your body away to men doesn't mean other women are doing the same. I don't subscribe to the idea of sex while dating b|c I think it's very stupid. One look at social media and even the threads in the Romance section here on NL does speak volume on how sex while dating has become the norm, but at the end of the day, what grown women choose to do with their bodies is no one else's business. The right man/woman will stick around, in spite of.

A message like this should be impartial and void of double standards: you should've included men that they too should close their legs, esp. b|c it is they who take the cake when it comes to sleeping around. Why is it fair for a woman who has done her best to keep herself to marry a man who hasn't? Who wants to marry a community dicc? Men sleep around easily b|c nobody checks them and threads like this don't help as all the chastising goes to women when it's not as if they're sleeping w/ themselves.

OP.. I'll advise you to save this advice for your daughters and ladies who will care to listen.

These ones here are something else. Perhaps they have made the same mistake you made because I don't understand the furious attacks. And they are even your fellow ladies.

And for the lady above asking when men would give their wives their virginity, I'll tell you to change your circle. So far you're in the circle of the normal, you'll keep getting the normal. You want something outside the normal? Get out of that circle and you'll see there are plenty of guys who still keep themselves. Cheers

Marvyx:
OP.. I'll advise you to save this advice for your daughters and ladies who will care to listen.

These ones here are something else. Perhaps they have made the same mistake you made because I don't understand the furious attacks. And they are even your fellow ladies.

And for the lady above asking when men would give their wives their virginity, I'll tell you to change your circle. So far you're in the circle of the normal, you'll keep getting the normal. You want something outside the normal? Get out of that circle and you'll see there are plenty of guys who still keep themselves. Cheers

That's the only explanation you could come up with? It did not cross your mind that grown ass women do not want to be patronized?

elektra:


Nobody give a sh*t about what you need. If you were so focused on all the advise you are dishing here you will not have time "need" anything from other women.

My own is, when are men going to start giving women their virginity for christ’s f*cking sake? I need virginity to cherish the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

I have been reading your comments lately and I love the clarity with which you explain your views.
No spirit of confusion, a beautiful expression coined by my sister Cococandy.

While agree with some of the points you raised, I also want to point out that most ladies are single because of their bad attitude. That is more dangerous here. No guy would want to be with a lady who will not give him rest of mind.


I have dated a lady who is a virgin, I had to break up with her for someone who is not because of bad attitude.


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Mindfulness:


I have been reading your comments lately and I love the clarity with which you explain your views.
No spirit of confusion, a beautiful expression coined by my sister Cococandy.

She said she needs virginity. I’m dead
Why didn’t I think of this before I took a husband. I would have demanded a virgin man

If sex devalues a woman, it says something about men that what they touch goes down in value.
It’s not a good look.

BRETHA:
This is for the ladies who are looking to settle down.

When it comes to dating, the saying goes there’s no one way rule to go about it but I believe they’re ways to help yourself if things are not going to plan. But I really want to speak on something extremely important, something that has changed my life. When I entered the dating world, I would meet loads of guys. I was so focused on the external aspect of my life, my looks, my clothes my hair, my body and all these shallow things that had no substance. I thought these things will give me the man I wanted. I gave up my body freely to men within only months of dating, and I began to see a pattern. I was attracting the same kind of men and I was seeing the same results, men who would come in and out of my life and nothing else. I decided to make a change. This generation encourages casual sex, vanity and nonsensical things. There’s a reason why so many women are single in this generation, searching for husbands when some of the problems lie deep within yourself,something that men will never reveal to you.

Women please stop giving out your body so freely, it devalues and cheapens you. Stop having sex with a man within the first second third etc month. I 100 percent advise against pre marital sex but if you must, build a solid friendship based on trust and understanding before unraveling that side of you. A man might stay with you, he will love you, but he will never take you seriously if you share such an intimate side of you so quickly. Men are very smart when choosing a wife, a man of value is not going to marry a lady who doesn’t carry her body like a pure temple. If you are a virgin, please keep it and NEVER give it up to a man who is not your husband. Your husband will cherish you so much as virginity is one of the best gifts you can give to each other in marriage. If you are getting the same results from men, this is probably the number one reason why. They’re good men out there, you just need to value yourself more. Sex will not keep him no matter how good you think you are in bed.

I also need ladies to have more substance. Your fine sexy body with perfect makeup and wigs will not get you the desired man you dream of. Showing off your body might get you attention, but not the one you truly desire for a long lasting relationship. Sometimes you might see a couple, a very fine man with a plain looking woman, and then you ask yourself why? why her and not me, im beautiful yet no man takes me seriously, whyy?Darling, its because there’s something about the plain woman that makes her outstanding from the rest. She has internal substance which has longevity. Your inner beauty shines brighter than the one outside. Work on your character ladies. This is not to say you can go around looking unpresentable, but try not to fix your whole life on looks and shallow things which fade. Have substance, wisdom, a career, kindness, homely attributes, something tangible that can attract a man equal to your kind.

Use your youth wisely and Invest your time meaningful. Because once it’s gone, you’ll only have your self to blame. Do not allow the nasty things of this generation to waste your time.

Mindfulness:


That's the only explanation you could come up with? It did not cross your mind that grown ass women do not want to be patronized?

Except for rape cases, no man should be blamed when a woman decides to have premarital sex. Stop blaming men for the woes of women. We are all responsible for the choices we make. Period!!

I won't reply you again if you quote me.

Marvyx:

Except for rape cases, no man should be blamed when a woman decides to have premarital sex. Stop blaming men for the woes of women. We are all responsible for the choices we make. Period!!

I won't reply you again if you quote me.

Another one with reading comprehension issues. Who blamed men?

cococandy:


She said she needs virginity. I’m dead
Why didn’t I think of this before I took a husband. I would have demanded a virgin man

elektra:

My own is, when are men going to start giving women their virginity for christ’s f*cking sake? I need virginity to cherish the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

HOW TO KEEP THE MAN YOU ARE DATING:

Do you love your MAN and you don't want another girl to snatch him from you? Then do the following things:
1. Give him plenty of attention. If you give him attention, he will not seek for attention elsewhere. Chat with him online via social media or else another girl will.
2. Give him listening ears whenever he is speaking to you. Avoid pressing your phone or reading a newspaper when your man is talking to you.
3. Do not promise him and fail. Do not promise him what you cannot do. It is better for you to say you don't have than to promise and fail.
4. Do not be stingy. Avoid telling him that you don't have, you don't have all the time.
5. Be caring. To be caring does not only mean you should be giving him money. There are many ways of showing care; e.g show concern whenever he is sad or in problems; be by his side when he is in problems, do not abandon him in his days of sorrow.
6. Tell him daily that he is beautiful.
7. Tell him daily that you love him.
8. Play with him and joke with him daily.
9. Don't be too hard and don't be too soft. Scold her a little, and pet her a little. Do not over pet or over scold.
10. Love his siblings, and respect his parents.
11. Appreciate him when he helps you to do something.
12. Allow him to advise you, seek him suggestions and respect his opinions.
13. Respect him
14. Do not take him for granted.
15. Do not cheat on him.
16. Play with him hairs
17. kiss him on his forehead, cheek and neck. It will pass a good message to him.
18. Let him sit on your lap sometimes.

elektra:


Nobody give a sh*t about what you need. If you were so focused on all the advise you are dishing here you will not have time "need" anything from other women.

My own is, when are men going to start giving women their virginity for christ’s f*cking sake? I need virginity to cherish the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

but how can I know if a man is a virgin or not? I think it is unfair for a Lady to be encouraged to keep her virginity while the man is ignored

As far as Africa and Nigeria especially, is concerned, most of the men will keep being useless condescending a$sholes because of women like the OP, who are stupid enough to think that, pretending to be some sort of angel who doesn’t have sex before being married, is what will get one a good husband.

I just get really annoyed reading this type of nonsense, especially written by a woman. Believe me when I tell you, many women are the reason why these useless men have guts to keep behaving the way they do, nonsenses!

freecocoa:
As far as Africa and Nigeria especially, is concerned, most of the men will keep being useless condescending a$sholes because of women like the OP, who are stupid enough to think that, pretending to be some sort of angel who doesn’t have sex before being married, is what will get one a good husband.

I just get really annoyed reading this type of nonsense, especially written by a woman. Believe me when I tell you, many women are the reason why these useless men have guts to keep behaving the way they do, nonsenses!

na so.

one of the missus cousins in school married as a virgin, and her husband was straffing left and right. the lady was very very upset. was telling my wife [ a student at the time] that i she had known it would have been like this she would have let loose and had fun in university.

some of us go to weddings to see the unlucky sucker who married our guy and shake our heads if it is a good gal. [does she know what she is gétting into?]

freecocoa:
As far as Africa and Nigeria especially, is concerned, most of the men will keep being useless condescending a$sholes because of women like the OP, who are stupid enough to think that, pretending to be some sort of angel who doesn’t have sex before being married, is what will get one a good husband.

I just get really annoyed reading this type of nonsense, especially written by a woman. Believe me when I tell you, many women are the reason why these useless men have guts to keep behaving the way they do, nonsenses!

I have read worse from women here under the pretense of I am trying to save Africa.
I don't bother no more. Life will teach them the lessons they need to learn and it will be painful.

thelastorca:



na so.

one of the missus cousins in school married as a virgin, and her husband was straffing left and right. the lady was very very upset. was telling my wife [ a student at the time] that i she had known it would have been like this she would have let loose and had fun in university.

some of us go to weddings to see the unlucky sucker who married our guy and shake our heads if it is a good gal. [does she know what she is gétting into?]

I know a female very very well who never missed any opportunity to emphasize how she had married as a virgin and how this was a secret to a happy marriage. She is divorced now. The husband left her for a woman with a reputation to say the least.

Another unsolicited advice
Eiiiisssshhhh

It happens.
Had a girlfriend who got married at 21 still a virgin and one of the best human beings I know.

Her husband has wooed all her friends and slept with the entire town they live in.

They are separated now because he got so brazen to the point of telling her that she’s lucky he hasn’t gotten any of his conquests pregnant yet.

I can’t even begin to summarize my annoyance

thelastorca:



na so.

one of the missus cousins in school married as a virgin, and her husband was straffing left and right. the lady was very very upset. was telling my wife [ a student at the time] that i she had known it would have been like this she would have let loose and had fun in university.

some of us go to weddings to see the unlucky sucker who married our guy and shake our heads if it is a good gal. [does she know what she is gétting into?]

Mindfulness:


I have read worse from women here under the pretense of I am trying to save Africa.
I don't bother no more. Life will teach them the lessons they need to learn and it will be painful.

Just imagine the nonsense. I seriously don’t understand how these women do it, like how much do you have to not like yourself to put up with all that much rubbish? It’s just really infuriating to say the least.

If only they know how painful it will be, it’s really a pity, mschew!

@op, do u know that the wild ones get the best husbands?
Have u taken out time to check this out?

The rich and mighty out there don't marry virgins.
It's poor man's fantasy and of course the judges we have around.
Sex is sweet, as long as u are of age, enjoy urself as much as u can with ur mind intact.
It even help to tame u when u marry so u can concentrate.
Heaven help u if u marry a dummy in bed.
U will never know what u are missing cos u never experimented before. And when it eye open, that's how marital infidelity starts.

freecocoa:
Just imagine the nonsense. I seriously don’t understand how these women do it, like how much do you have to not like yourself to put up with all that much rubbish? It’s just really infuriating to say the least.

If only they know how painful it will be, it’s really a pity, mschew!

It's a sad case of opposites attracting

A very sad case

I don't understand, but was there something terrible written in the OP?

I truly don't understand.

Op sorry to say ,its either you are man or the indoctrination you received after years of wantonness emanates from those overly religious circles.

I would have expected you to give more solid points other than marriage as the reason why ladies should close their legs

The consequences of premarital sex does more damages to a woman's body rather than a mans

Over use of birth control pills causes damage to the woman's system in the long run
Also if the woman gets pregnant out of wedlock she suffers the fullblown consequences. A man can choose to run away and come back 18 years later to claim his seed. Na she go dey carry babymama tag all over ( No offence to strong single mother's out there , but society is what it is and you must open your eyes not just your heart when giving your heart to someone)


If a lady wants to remain celebate or a virgin she should do it for herself and because of her values not because of a man. She might be gravely disappointed.

generationz:
Op sorry to say ,its either you are man or the indoctrination you received after years of wantonness emanates from those overly religious circles.

I would have expected you to give more solid points other than marriage as the reason why ladies should close their legs

The consequences of premarital sex does more damages to a woman's body rather than a mans

Over use of birth control pills causes damage to the woman's system in the long run
Also if the woman gets pregnant out of wedlock she suffers the fullblown consequences. A man can choose to run away and come back 18 years later to claim his seed. Na she go dey carry babymama tag all over ( No offence to strong single mother's out there , but society is what it is and you must open your eyes not just your heart when giving your heart to someone)


If a lady wants to remain celebate or a virgin she should do it for herself and because of her values not because of a man. She might be gravely disappointed.

So that's basically what I was thinking as I read it.
Although she didn't make these as her focal point, but isn't this what every person ought to take from it regardless?

I can't feign surprise anyway, it's a human thing to get defensive over imagined attacks on a person's feelings of guilt.

I'm almost certain that everyone here advises or will advise their own daughters to try as much as possible to stay away from sex until the time is right (which by moral standards is usually marriage).
No right-thinking parent ever tells their daughter to do whatever she wants with her body.

Even if people still end up engaging in pre-marital sex and go on to have happy lives, good advise remains good advise. You can't take anything from it.

One example out of millions sir. Marriage should not be based solely on virginity, but on character. I’m only encouraging modesty yet I don’t understand why I am being attacked left and right from women. My fellow women of this generation are truly corrupt and it’s sad.

Lalasticlala please put this on the front page for women to see. I want to encourage modesty in this generation.

Mindfulness:


I know a female very very well who never missed any opportunity to emphasize how she had married as a virgin and how this was a secret to a happy marriage. She is divorced now. The husband left her for a woman with a reputation to say the least.