My sister at age 9 reported an attempted rape from a relative the very next day it happened. Many younger naive girls have done the same.

Now a lady at full age of 17 had to wait 15 whole years to report a multiple full rape case and I say it's improper and wrong and everyone wants to crucify me for it.


If a minor is raped and speaks later its tolerable. But if a lady of accountable age cannot speak until 10 years later, she better remains silent forever.


I dislike where people pour too much emotion and sentiments into every matter without applying common sense and logic.

First, a kid who does not even know what "uncle" is doing to her is more likely to talk about it innocently and casually. On the other hand, a teen who understands the full implication of "uncle's" action might need some courage to spill especially if the so-called uncle is a well known/respected individual. Such persons usually believe the weight of the immediate saga would be more traumatic than the rape itself (wrong). Some believe speaking up will expose their perceived loss of dignity to the world (this why some parents fly their children abroad after rape incidence). Some would be thinking about what their fate would be if people do not get to believe them. In fact, self doubt would normally creep in and gradually they recline and keep it in their hearts (forever sometimes). If you've never been a victim or have no close person who's been there, you might never appreciate this.

Secondly, I don't even understand why the emphasis is on how long it took her to come out. Does time change the concept of rape? Even if she spoke up after 50yrs, the question is, did the man do it? The good thing is that she's not keeping mute forever and other victims would derive courage from her case. It would have been a different thing if the man had come out to apologise (maybe before now). In that case, we'd be saying he did it before he met God.

GraGra247:
My sister at age 9 reported an attempted rape from a relative the very next day it happened. Many younger naive girls have done the same.

Now a lady at full age of 17 had to wait 15 whole years to report a multiple full rape case and I say it's improper and wrong and everyone wants to crucify me for it.


If a minor is raped and speaks later its tolerable. But if a lady of accountable age cannot speak until 10 years later, she better remains silent forever.


I dislike where people pour too much emotion and sentiments into every matter within applying common sense and logic.

So what you're trying to say is that Rape is okay under certain circumstances right?

Using logic; As at 1999 was there so much awareness against rape like we have now?
Using logic; Do all individuals react the same way in the same situation?

OP you are a fool.


Until you understand how we Nigerians worship these men of God, then you’ll understand it takes courage to speak up on cases like this.

GraGra247:


You are a fooooooooool ?? ??

Go back to primary two. Scalliwag.

Thank you, says a lot about the kind of person you are. You have to deal with that in real life and no escaping it.

I have two very interesting stories i wanna share....but 'll do it later

etrange:
First, a kid who does not even know what "uncle" is doing to her is more likely to talk about it innocently and casually. On the other hand, a teen who understands the full implication of "uncle's" action might need some courage to spill especially if the so-called uncle is a well known/respected individual. Such persons usually believe the weight of the immediate saga would be more traumatic than the rape itself (wrong). Some believe speaking up will expose their perceived loss of dignity to the world (this why some parents fly their children abroad after rape incidence). Some would be thinking about what their fate would be if people do not get to believe them. In fact, self doubt would normally creep in and gradually they recline and keep it in their hearts (forever sometimes). If you've never been a victim or have no close person who's been there, you might never appreciate this.

Secondly, I don't even understand why the emphasis is on how long it took her to come out. Does time change the concept of rape? Even if she spoke up after 50yrs, the question is, did the man do it? The good thing is that she's not keeping mute forever and other victims would derive courage from her case. It would have been a different thing if the man had come out to apologise (maybe before now). In that case, we'd be saying he did it before he met God.

My sister knew what she escaped from and reported it as such.

This is not the time and age when people are too naive. The media and technology have broadened people's knowledge.

8 years olds are on Facebook, 2go and whatsapp.

Some of the problems and complications of reporting it late:

1. Many or all evidences would have been lost.

2. The aggressor would have fought and beat his bad character by then as everyone have done at one time or the other. It would be totally unfair by then to call him out.

3.Everyone had skeletons sometime in his/her past including the lady victims of abuse that spoke out late. What was the theft, prostitution, runs, abortion etc they left behind in the past to accuse another person of rape 20 years after.

Credible reports has it that Busola Dakolo was wayward in the past. If it's true do you know how many men she seduced and destroyed. Did anyone crucify her for that.

4. It easily creates doubts and divisions of views. A lot of people find it difficult to believe and they are right.

5. At a time ladies wake up and accuse innocent men of rape over minor disagreements it's necessary "real" victims are "educated" to report promptly to avoid all above listed.

6. At a time when ladies accuse men of rape and its immediately accepted as fact, its proper its reported quickly and early so its easily investigated and innocent man spared and the guilty punished.




As much as we say there's no excuse for rape,there shouldn't be any excuse for a 17 year old that has come to full year of accountability to fail to report a rape attempt let alone a full fledged rape.

stupidity:
OP you are a fool.


Until you understand how we Nigerians worship these men of God, then you’ll understand it takes courage to speak up on cases like this.

Thunder fire you and the foolery operating in you from generation to generation. Animal.

Going forward whoever replies me with an insult, I'll return the favor double fold.

Whoever wants to reason logically and sensible will receive the same from me.

I've received enough insults for 1 year over this issue.

abdeiz:


Thank you, says a lot about the kind of person you are. You have to deal with that in real life and no escaping it.

Your response says a lot about the m0ron you are and I'm glad I didn't waste time to show you.

blujoi:
Using logic; As at 1999 was there so much awareness against rape like we have now?
Using logic; Do all individuals react the same way in the same situation?

As at 1999 many so called naive underage girls reported their molesters including my sister. Hers happened around 1989.

So what excuse does a 17 year old have.

Do all individuals react the same way given the same circumstances?

GraGra247:


As at 1999 many so called naive underage girls reported their molesters including my sister. Hers happened around 1989.

So what excuse does a 17 year old have.

GraGra247:


Thunder fire you and the foolery operating in you from generation to generation. Animal.

Going forward whoever replies me with an insult, I'll return the favor double fold.

Whoever wants to reason logically and sensible will receive the same from me.

I've received enough insults for 1 year over this issue.

demented fellow. Rapist.


Darkness cloud your eyes there.

blujoi:
Do all individuals react the same way given the same circumstances?

Do all individuals eat food? Yes!! Do people talk when the need arises? Yes!!

Did she eat all those years? Yes.
Did she use her mouth to talk those 15 years? I guess you know the answer.

So again what is the excuse why a 17 year old matured knowledgeable lady didn't report a rape case at least to her mom while a 9 year old naive girl did.

i wonder when your sister became standard for every body. keep quiet there.

stupidity:
demented fellow. Rapist.


Darkness cloud your eyes there.

Your username tells everyone who you are. Absolutely STUPID and cursed from generation to generation.

Go and reason with animals. They're as stupid as you are.

You decided to digress by equating eating of food and talking to how individuals react to circumstances. By so doing you have answered my question and also your question of why she waited 17years. Have a good weekend

GraGra247:


Do all individuals eat food? Yes!! Do people talk when the need arises? Yes!!

Did she eat all those years? Yes.
Did she use her mouth to talk those 15 years? I guess you know the answer.

So again what is the excuse why a 17 year old matured knowledgeable lady didn't report a rape case at least to her mom while a 9 year old naive girl did.

As an addendum, if you had watched the interview you would have seen where she stated that she reported to her immediate family when the incident happened, so yeah she decided to out the man publicly after 17 years. Probably her own way of dealing with the hurt and the psychological damage it brought to her

GraGra247:


Do all individuals eat food? Yes!! Do people talk when the need arises? Yes!!

Did she eat all those years? Yes.
Did she use her mouth to talk those 15 years? I guess you know the answer.

So again what is the excuse why a 17 year old matured knowledgeable lady didn't report a rape case at least to her mom while a 9 year old naive girl did.

pandv:
i wonder when your sister became standard for every body. keep quiet there.

My sister is not just a standard. I've witnessed countless times young girls promptly reported rape in the community and alarm was raised and people were called together.

There is more to this

blujoi:
As an addendum, if you had watched the interview you would have seen where she stated that she reported to her immediate family when the incident happened, so yeah she decided to out the man publicly after 17 years. Probably her own way of dealing with the hurt and the psychological damage it brought to her

Good for you. You accept it as proper and standard. And I say I belong among the few that don't accept it as proper and standard. And I gave my reasons. I don't follow crowd, I follow logic.

GraGra247:


Your username tells everyone who you are. Absolutely STUPID and cursed from generation to generation.

Go and reason with animals. They're as stupid as you are.

initial gra gra.



You are a product of rape if you don’t know. Ask your mom. She’ll speak out soon

etrange:
First, a kid who does not even know what "uncle" is doing to her is more likely to talk about it innocently and casually. On the other hand, a teen who understands the full implication of "uncle's" action might need some courage to spill especially if the so-called uncle is a well known/respected individual. Such persons usually believe the weight of the immediate saga would be more traumatic than the rape itself (wrong). Some believe speaking up will expose their perceived loss of dignity to the world (this why some parents fly their children abroad after rape incidence). Some would be thinking about what their fate would be if people do not get to believe them. In fact, self doubt would normally creep in and gradually they recline and keep it in their hearts (forever sometimes). If you've never been a victim or have no close person who's been there, you might never appreciate this.

Secondly, I don't even understand why the emphasis is on how long it took her to come out. Does time change the concept of rape? Even if she spoke up after 50yrs, the question is, did the man do it? The good thing is that she's not keeping mute forever and other victims would derive courage from her case. It would have been a different thing if the man had come out to apologise (maybe before now). In that case, we'd be saying he did it before he met God.

This rape charges is not only in Nigeria, it's just a new trend to defame someone who has climbed higher just to discourage him from moving forward. Fear women!! If possible always allow her remove her pants herself and help you pull down your boxers to show genuine interest (capture or video her if possible). This thing is too much!!!

.

GraGra247:



My sister knew what she escaped from and reported it as such.

This is not the time and age when people are too naive. The media and technology have broadened people's knowledge.

8 years olds are on Facebook, 2go and whatsapp.

Some of the problems and complications of reporting it late:

1. Many or all evidences would have been lost.

2. The aggressor would have fought and beat his bad character by then as everyone have done at one time or the other. It would be totally unfair by then to call him out.

3.Everyone had skeletons sometime in his/her past including the lady victims of abuse that spoke out late. What was the theft, prostitution, runs, abortion etc they left behind in the past to accuse another person of rape 20 years after.

Credible reports has it that Busola Dakolo was wayward in the past. If it's true do you know how many men she seduced and destroyed. Did anyone crucify her for that.

4. It easily creates doubts and divisions of views. A lot of people find it difficult to believe and they are right.

5. At a time ladies wake up and accuse innocent men of rape over minor disagreements it's necessary "real" victims are "educated" to report promptly to avoid all above listed.

6. At a time when ladies accuse men of rape and its immediately accepted as fact, its proper its reported quickly and early so its easily investigated and innocent man spared and the guilty punished.




As much as we say there's no excuse for rape,there shouldn't be any excuse for a 17 year old that has come to full year of accountability to fail to report a rape attempt let alone a full fledged rape.

First, sorry for your sister's exposure to such things, glad she came out fine. I admire her courage and I wish most kids would be like her.

Back to the topic, are you saying since she didn't come out immediately, she should keep mute forever? How would this help those yet to speak up? Aren't we using this speaking up thing to shadow the real issue on ground? She should have voiced out but she did not so the pastor, if guilty, should now be left alone? Shouldn't we be seeking justice first?

See friend, I am not making excuses for anyone, I am only highlighting reality. We all want rape victims to speak up asap. We want to tell them the dangers of not speaking up in time just as you listed. We are clamouring for the same thing here. But some of them have the fears I listed above and we can't help it. People are different. Whichever way, turning the table to blame the rape victim is outrightly ridiculous. Speaking up immediately or 100yrs later does not in any way undermine their ordeal. We have to chase away the kite before blaming the hen for exposing its chicks. Yes, evidences are lost after many years but speaking when you can remains ideal. Whether people eventually believe you or not, you get to feel relieved. Regardless of how we view this, we must agree that speaking up late does not remove the cruelty of rape. Like I said earlier, the question is if the man did or not. Trying to shun her down cause she didn't speak up early enough would only discourage past victims from coming out. They'd literally give in to their fears.

All these are distractions. Let's all pray for justice.

GraGra247:
My sister at age 9 reported an attempted rape from a relative the very next day it happened. Many younger naive girls have done the same.

Now a lady at full age of 17 had to wait 15 whole years to report a multiple full rape case and I say it's improper and wrong and everyone wants to crucify me for it.


If a minor is raped and speaks later its tolerable. But if a lady of accountable age cannot speak until 10 years later, she better remains silent forever.


I dislike where people pour too much emotion and sentiments into every matter without applying common sense and logic.

they'll never see sense on this issue my friend. Even the MODs took down a thread earlier where people were asking the same questions.

egbarison:
This rape charges is not only in Nigeria, it's just a new trend to defame someone who has climbed higher just to discourage him from moving forward. Fear women!! If possible always allow her remove her pants herself and help you pull down your boxers to show genuine interest (capture or video her if possible). This thing is too much!!!

Typical Nairalander playing the gender card.

Fear women? Women are the leaders of bokoharam? Women are the kidnappers terrorising Nigeria? Women are the rapists roaming the streets? Women are the Fulani herdsmen killing people out there? Please, I'd rather have a logical response than this chauvinistic comment you spewed up there. You think a Dakolo's wife just woke up and decided to look for a pastor to defame?

I don't know the kind of women you have in your life but don't quote me if all you can offer is prejudice. Thank you.

etrange:
First, a kid who does not even know what "uncle" is doing to her is more likely to talk about it innocently and casually. On the other hand, a teen who understands the full implication of "uncle's" action might need some courage to spill especially if the so-called uncle is a well known/respected individual. Such persons usually believe the weight of the immediate saga would be more traumatic than the rape itself (wrong). Some believe speaking up will expose their perceived loss of dignity to the world (this why some parents fly their children abroad after rape incidence). Some would be thinking about what their fate would be if people do not get to believe them. In fact, self doubt would normally creep in and gradually they recline and keep it in their hearts (forever sometimes). If you've never been a victim or have no close person who's been there, you might never appreciate this.

Secondly, I don't even understand why the emphasis is on how long it took her to come out. Does time change the concept of rape? Even if she spoke up after 50yrs, the question is, did the man do it? The good thing is that she's not keeping mute forever and other victims would derive courage from her case. It would have been a different thing if the man had come out to apologise (maybe before now). In that case, we'd be saying he did it before he met God.

time is crucial because proof is needed.
A crime reported 15 yrs later won't be evidence-based

but it funny after having 3 kids and a husband, you came out to shout rape...why is your husband knowing about it now..why didnt she tell her husband during coutship, why didnt she tell her parent since she was raped at home, why now,

i see nothing financial from this because in nigeria we dont settle rape with cash at the court of law.. but then again, the pastor have been accussed by many before, who to believe, i dont know, no evidence, no witness except her words against his

etrange:


Typical Nairalander playing the gender card.

Fear women? Women are the leaders of bokoharam? Women are the kidnappers terrorising Nigeria? Women are the rapists roaming the streets? Women are the Fulani herdsmen killing people out there? Please, I'd rather have a logical response than this chauvinistic comment you spewed up there. You think a Dakolo's wife just woke up and decided to look for a pastor to defame?

I don't know the kind of women you have in your life but don't quote me if all you can offer is prejudice. Thank you.

don't wait till a person is famous to report a rape because then it raises some questions.

That's what we're saying.

If you're raped go report. Today. Tomorrow. But not 15 yrs later.

etrange:
First, a kid who does not even know what "uncle" is doing to her is more likely to talk about it innocently and casually. On the other hand, a teen who understands the full implication of "uncle's" action might need some courage to spill especially if the so-called uncle is a well known/respected individual. Such persons usually believe the weight of the immediate saga would be more traumatic than the rape itself (wrong). Some believe speaking up will expose their perceived loss of dignity to the world (this why some parents fly their children abroad after rape incidence). Some would be thinking about what their fate would be if people do not get to believe them. In fact, self doubt would normally creep in and gradually they recline and keep it in their hearts (forever sometimes). If you've never been a victim or have no close person who's been there, you might never appreciate this.

Secondly, I don't even understand why the emphasis is on how long it took her to come out. Does time change the concept of rape? Even if she spoke up after 50yrs, the question is, did the man do it? The good thing is that she's not keeping mute forever and other victims would derive courage from her case. It would have been a different thing if the man had come out to apologise (maybe before now). In that case, we'd be saying he did it before he met God.

Without proof you already believe the man is guilty