The writer wrote on Instagram"...

Isn’t it crazy yet wonderful how unscripted life can be?
I mean look at me, if anyone had told me that I would one day be a single mother, I wouldn’t have believed them.
I always thought that I would grow old with the one man that I marry; it’s what I wanted, it’s what I grew up witnessing.
My parents have been together for 31 years. Though imperfect, I watched my father treat my mother with so much love and respect.
They liked eachother's company and I never witnessed dad being cruel to mum.
He was always supporting her even when we all knew that she has messed up.
It was so beautiful to watch (it still is) and I wanted the same for myself.

But, when I got married to the man I met only three Months after “knowing” him (long distance), this dream of mine was not to hold.
I tried to make it work, we both did but in the end, I was so miserable (we both were). We were incompatible to say the least and when two persons who have completely different views about life, beliefs and dreams come to live together, the result is chaos.
I wasn’t going to cross over; that would have meant losing myself and everything that I believed in. He wasn’t going to cross either –
I was then faced with two options:

1. To accept that situation and spend the rest of life wondering what might have been if I had married the man who shared my dreams, ideas, hopes and beliefs.
The man who spoke tenderly to me, who saw my soul for what it is, who wanted to take long walks together, play board games, enjoy reading my works and think that I am the most incredible being ever whom he cannot imagine a life without
OR
2. Leave and avail myself for the life that I desire.

I chose the latter because forever I decided, is too long a time to stay unhappy.
It’s being great out here.
I’m at peace.
My chest doesn’t hurt anymore and I do not dread each passing day.

I'm surrounded with the love and support of family and a few good friends.
I’m able to further my life and pursue all the things I've always desired to do.

Being a single mother has been awesome too, I carry my status with pride, because it really is nothing to feel ashamed about, if anything, I am proud of myself for having the courage to do all that I have done.
You should see me screening toasters ?, that’s because I am not willing to settle for just any man.
I know what I want and it's what I would have and give myself to.
As for our girls, they would continue to know that daddy loves them.
What happened between us is between us, the kids should not have to suffer for it nor witness it at all, because when parents fight, the children bleed and I would not do that to our girls.
Daddy loves them and they should have a great relationship.
I am very hopeful about the future.
I hope that he finds his happy (if it hasn’t happened yet) and I hope that we can be reasonable co-parents (because we would marry other people) who can sit down together and even take trips for the sake of our beautiful girls.
It’s a great life.
I made the best desicion I could have made.
#singlemom

IssaGist:
Nigerian woman who married her ex after 3 months of knowing him narrates why their marriage ended

A Nigerian lawyer who married her ex after a very short courtship has told of how her marriage ended up being a nightmare that she had to escape from.

Kylie Joy Terundu said she had known her husband for only 3 months before they decided to get married. But while in the marriage, she realized it was different from her expectations and she had to make a life-changing decision.

She eventually decided to leave the marriage even though the union had already produced daughters.

She said she never believed she would end up a single mother but she's glad she made the decision to divorce her husband and start all over.



Meawhile, below is a comment from an Instagram user who already analysed the problem of the poster's marriage from the little narration he read, and came up with a diagnosis.

See more here; https://gistmore.com/nigerian-woman-who-married-her-ex-after-3-months-of-knowing-him-narrates-why-their-marriage-ended

Can her boobs still look sexy like this when she unclothes.
That's the only thing I'm interested in, not this epistle.

FinanceBiz:
You knew him for 3 months and you have daughters? How? This doesn't add up.

Biglittlelois:
Are we suppose to clap for her cos she's now a single mother or we should be happy that two adults couldn't compromise on important issues that'll make their marriage work for the best? No one should come online to rant on being happy regardless of a failed marriage, it is not an achievement.

Biglittlelois:



Kindly read, assimilate and comprehend well next time.

FinanceBiz:
You knew him for 3 months and you have daughters? How? This doesn't add up.

Biglittlelois:



Kindly read, assimilate and comprehend well next time.

Biglittlelois:
Are we suppose to clap for her cos she's now a single mother or we should be happy that two adults couldn't compromise on important issues that'll make their marriage work for the best? No one should come online to rant on being happy regardless of a failed marriage, it is not an achievement.

Biglittlelois:
Are we suppose to clap for her cos she's now a single mother or we should be happy that two adults couldn't compromise on important issues that'll make their marriage work for the best? No one should come online to rant on being happy regardless of a failed marriage, it is not an achievement.

MrBrownJay1:


... But some strangers out there are so different that there is NO WAY to make it work, however you want to try, and the best option for all (and especially the kids) is to divorce.

Better to have two happy parents that are divorced THAN two miserable/bitter/negative parents that are married.

Biglittlelois:
Are we suppose to clap for her cos she's now a single mother or we should be happy that two adults couldn't compromise on important issues that'll make their marriage work for the best? No one should come online to rant on being happy regardless of a failed marriage, it is not an achievement.

Lagbaja01:
Abeg no vex for the guy

MrBrownJay1:


... But some strangers out there are so different that there is NO WAY to make it work, however you want to try, and the best option for all (and especially the kids) is to divorce.

Better to have two happy parents that are divorced THAN two miserable/bitter/negative parents that are married.

Amakavula:
I am always happy to when women take the bull.by the horn and make decisions like this, I only fault her for marrying too quickly but thank God she did what's best for her.

You can't understand until you have been with someone whose life goal is incompay with yours. Best life ahead sister. Resist !

Biglittlelois:
I have no issues with couples getting divorced cos of irreconcilable differences, but don't come online and gloat about it expecting SM users to applaud you for it, don't come and pretend you're happy being divorced, no one is, her epistle is more like advocating that it's okay to divorce, it's sending negative signals for singles, I am single, and I want to have kids in the comfort of a home with both parents present, these traits is becoming rampant with ladies these days, it is a bad energy for the marriage institution, men dont come online to rant about being divorced(I stand to be corrected), it is not healthy, for any human, and for the kids involved.

MrBrownJay1:


As much as I understand and agree with your above point I need to ask:
- do you believe it is wrong (for a woman who got married for the wrong reason) to divorce?
- do you believe that divorce people ain't HAPPIER than when they were married?
- marriage is part of divorce as we all know that not many people do stay happily married.... So divorce is just a tool that goes hand in hand with marriage..... Single people should definitely be aware of it, and understand what they get into, and how they can save themselves (in case they become miserable in marriage)

Biglittlelois:

You don't go into marriage with the mindset that there is an option of divorce, that is expecting negativity instead of having a positive mindset all the way,

marriage and divorce does not go hand in hand, that is a wrong thought to have, people should strive to make it work, no one is perfect,

To answer your questions;
- wrong reasons can be in different forms, it is only when you're married that you'll see some traits in your partner that will make you think you married the wrong person, talk it out for him/her to change or overlook it, this is where compromise comes in, some people aren't patient that's why they divorce.

- they aren't happier than when they were married, they try to show the world they are but in their closet they cry their heart out, and they don't get over it for a long time, imagine introducing yourself to a love interest that you're divorced or a single mother, there automatically will be a dark cloud of sadness cos the memory comes back with a rush, then you have explain the situation, there is no happiness in that whatsoever.

MrBrownJay1:

I think that nobody goes into marriage with a negative mindset, unless they marry for the wrong reasons...money/pressure etc



Sadly, marriage goes hand in hand with divorce... and as much as nobody wishes/hopes for failure, it's counter productive and especially HIGHLY irresponsible to believe that there is no way out of marriage.



As much as some people are willing to change or overlook certain traits... others are not willing to compromise or change and there is nothing wrong with that (IMHO).many people pretend to be who they are not, in order to con people into marriage, and staying with such awful person...is a fallacy.



Do you really believe that a woman is automatically happier in a miserable union than divorced woman?! No wonder so many women are miserable and wrongly staying married to monsters.

You have such a failed outlook on divorced and single mother...it's sickening but also very very sad!!!! The only reason that these women are looked down upon is because of the deluded African society and the ego of African men.... that want tear rubber wifey while being highly used tokunbo themselves. And sadly, women like you believe in this ego driven failure.

MrBrownJay1:

I think that nobody goes into marriage with a negative mindset, unless they marry for the wrong reasons...money/pressure etc



Sadly, marriage goes hand in hand with divorce... and as much as nobody wishes/hopes for failure, it's counter productive and especially HIGHLY irresponsible to believe that there is no way out of marriage.



As much as some people are willing to change or overlook certain traits... others are not willing to compromise or change and there is nothing wrong with that (IMHO).many people pretend to be who they are not, in order to con people into marriage, and staying with such awful person...is a fallacy.



Do you really believe that a woman is automatically happier in a miserable union than divorced woman?! No wonder so many women are miserable and wrongly staying married to monsters.

You have such a failed outlook on divorced and single mother...it's sickening but also very very sad!!!! The only reason that these women are looked down upon is because of the deluded African society and the ego of African men.... that want tear rubber wifey while being highly used tokunbo themselves. And sadly, women like you believe in this ego driven failure.