I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I have no choice.
I opened this moniker to keep my identity anonymous.

I'm in a point in my life were I feel like everything has come to an end. I'm living in regret, desperation, depression, anger, frustration and fear.

I'm a 400L student of Electrical/Electronics Engineering in Rivers State University. I'm 21yrs old. Apart from my education, I'm a music producer (trap music & Hiphop), I'm skilled in computer hardware & software repair and I'm competent in programming languages like C++, Java and Python. Even learnt a bit of HTML. I even represented my Uni in Nigeria Computer Society and came 4th in Nigeria in 2016. I was somewhat a brainy during my early days in sch. But everything suddenly turned around and I'm frustrated and confused.

I'll continue the rest later. I have to give the phone I'm using to the owner. I'll borrow another persons phone to continue...

Update:
Sorry guys for the wait. I've been trying hard to convince my friends to borrow me their phones, only a few oblique. I got one on my hands right now.

... Continuation

It all started in 2017 when a very friend of mine introduced me to a drug, an opiate. He said it was gonna help me ease my depression and anger. At that point it was visible to almost everyone who interacted with me that I was worried. So I took the drug, 100ml pill. Before this, I don't do drugs, only tried out weed like once or twice in my life before then.
When I took the pill, I entered another reality. Everything felt good. Even the sound of vehicles passing the road and the sound of distant car horns sounded so good. I don't want to go too deep in this but this is basically how my addiction started.

Fast forward to 08/28/2019
Many businesses I tried failed. I even opened a BetKing shop but because of school, I had to employ a manager to handle when I'm not around. The guy messed up my business as well. A lot of money wasted.
I'm now in debt of 400k plus. I borrowed money to try out businesses to support myself but I think it just wasn't my time or I made too many mistakes or maybe I don't deserve success. I also started borrowing money to buy drugs because the drugs became very expensive 500 naira per 200mg pill ( I take like 6-8 x 200mg pills per day) just to stay normal. I haven't been able to go to school, attend my IT trainings, I got fired from a shop I was working a phone repairer because I was neglecting my responsibilities and missing work so much because sometimes I get too high that I have seizures and I find it hard to go to work or go out. I even had a seizure from overdose of Opiates and Hallucinogens. I have 2 scars on my face which are a result of injuries sustained while having seizures. I even had a seizure one day I was performing my song on stage. I'm confusedI still go to church tho but not frequently. My rent has expired. I can't even borrow money to pay it. I sold my Samsung A50 and my apple laptop Macbook pro 2017 edition in June just to clear of some of my debts. I've sold almost all my appliances. Most of this debt accumulated because of interest on the debt as I continue to delay. I was making money before now but now everything is doomed. I rili don't know how I got here. My debtors are threatening my life, my family pushed me out because they kept on advising me to quit drugs but I couldn't. No rehab. Drugs keep me going but now I can't even afford the drugs too. The drugs used to help me escape the reality of my predicaments but now I can't even afford them. Dying of withdrawal symptoms and my other problems are also on my neck. The people I owe are threatening me with police, court and even death if I don't pay them. I don't know how to get money because I've sold almost all I had. I have just my bed, my frigde, 2 shoes and 1 slippers and a few clothes. My room empty. I want to even sell my AC to raise money. I'm in big trouble. I could get killed any day if any of the people I owe see me, even my friends. I go around living from one friends house to another surviving on what ever life presents. Some days I starve, sometimes my friends help with some food. A good friend of mine brings some food from his mom every 2-3 days.

I don't want to be too lengthy with my write up.
I'm in my 400L now in sch, CGPA jumped from 3.7 in 200L to 2.3 now. Got so many carry overs because sum lecturers refused fee debtors to write their course exams. I haven't paid my fees for 2yrs n another year begins again by coming November,

I'm depressed, I'm scared, I'm lost, I'm dying slowly, I'm having severe insomnia. Everything was good with me. I was a an average good guy, my family n friends we're somewhat really proud of me. I wasn't rich but I my basic needs settled when I was making some money with my skills n family was supporting. Now I'm F$&Ked up.

I need physiological, emotional, financial, physical and mental advice and support.

My ONLY option now is SUICIDE.
I feel if I do it and I die, the problems will be off my neck and I'll be in a happier place. But I feel that would make me a coward for running from my problems.

I don't even have a choice to face my problems.


I NEED HELP!!!
PLS HELP ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I MAY END IT SOON.

Please I don't know how to tag people. You Gus should try to help by tagging the right people to move it to FP.

Cc: lalasticlala

Mechanics are confusing us with dirty clothes from easy indentification of the real mad people on the street! How do we identify scammers from those that actually need help?

Silentspeaker:


I'll continue the rest later. I have to give the phone I'm using to the owner. I'll borrow another persons phone to continue...


I NEED HELP!!!

Can someone lend Silentspeaker a phone please?

Silentspeaker:
I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I have no choice.
I opened this moniker to keep my identity anonymous.

I'm in a point in my life were I feel like everything has come to an end. I'm living in regret, desperation, depression, anger, frustration and fear.

I'm a 400L student of Electrical/Electronics Engineering in Rivers State University. I'm 21yrs old. Apart from my education, I'm a music producer (trap music & Hiphop), I'm skilled in computer hardware & software repair and I'm competent in programming languages like C++, Java and Python. Even learnt a bit of HTML. I even represented my Uni in Nigeria Computer Society and came 4th in Nigeria in 2016. I was somewhat a brainy during my early days in sch. But everything suddenly turned around and I'm frustrated and confused.

I'll continue the rest later. I have to give the phone I'm using to the owner. I'll borrow another persons phone to continue...


I NEED HELP!!!

what's actually making you depress?

hahahah...u funny nig..

i dnt even have half of what you have including the skills and am in my finales too with absolutely NOTHING in my account..

i have no girlfrnd, no male friends, no helper, not much to eat, not much food stuff left, no money in my account but man, AM VERY VERY VERY HAPPY ...life too sweet.. irrespective of my conditions, bro LIFE is sweet..

please be patient, talk to God, he knows what you are passing through, he just want you to come your self and tell him; and trust me man, all will be well..

if wat you actually said is true, trust me man, please pray, have faith and be patient..

dnt kill yourself ooh cux if you, people and things causing all this will still remain thesame, nothing will change, life goes on, people will still cry and forget you..so why dnt u fight it and put them to shame..

one more thing, NEVER, NEVER, EVER depend on anything in this life aside God, except God, Never ever put hope on any thing or person..NOT EVEN YOUR PARENTS OR YOUR SHADOW.

look for how to engage in mini jobs with those 'SKILLS' and talk to 'GOD' in anything bothering you..those are the two things that can never let you down..

Don't stay at home all day pressing phone. Make new friends who are not into drugs or try to relocate if possible. It's hard to tell you to quit drugs because that might be your options to escape reality at the moment.

united442:


what's actually making you depress?

hahahah...u funny nig..

i dnt even have half of what you have including the skills and am in my finales too with absolutely NOTHING in my account..

i have no girlfrnd, no male friends, no helper, not much to eat, not much food stuff left, no money in my account but man, AM VERY VERY VERY HAPPY ...life too sweet.. irrespective of my conditions, bro LIFE is sweet..

please be patient, talk to God, he knows what you are passing through, he just want you to come your self and tell him; and trust me man, all will be well..

if wat you actually said is true, trust me man, please pray, have faith and be patient..

dnt kill yourself ooh cux if you, people and things causing all this will still remain thesame, nothing will change, life goes on, people will still cry and forget you..so why dnt u fight it and put them to shame..

one more thing, NEVER, NEVER, EVER depend on anything in this life aside God, except God, Never ever put hope on any thing or person..NOT EVEN YOUR PARENTS OR YOUR SHADOW.

look for how to engage in mini jobs with those 'SKILLS' and talk to 'GOD' in anything bothering you..those are the two things that can never let you down..

I don't even know how to fight it now. I no support, no backup, no weapons. I'm doomed!!!

I'm giving the phone back to the owner now.
If I survive it till 2moro. I'll look for a phone to log on nairaland.

I'm scared. Drug withdrawal symptoms killing me.

A friend of mine proposed to plan to me. He said he belongs to a 4 man gang and they rob at night with a tricycle. He said I should join them in a hotel robbery they are planning that I'll get 40k if we hit successfully. He said I'll just be the driver. I've never shot a gun before. I don't want to do this but I'm forced to if I rili want to raise money to pay my debt, to buy drugs or goto rehab ro handle my needs and to bring myself back to normal.

I don't know if I should accept the offer or keep holding on and believing God for a sudden helper or just execute myself and go live peacefully in the eternal realm.

Father Lord forgive me if I take a wrong decision. I'm left with limited choice right now.

UniversalDove:
Don't stay at home all day pressing phone. Make new friends who are not into drugs or try to relocate if possible. It's hard to tell you to quit drugs because that might be your options to escape reality at the moment.

I don't stay all day pressing phones. I don't have a phone. I stay all day hiding from the people I'm indebted to. Even the drug seller keeps sending his Ice land gang to my house. People tell me. I'm not a cultist so I don't even have a gang to use as backup.

Bro, I feel your pains. I can relate to most of the things you have said. I wish I could help, but I'm struggling myself. I remember the days opiates used to keep me calm and sedated. Now I can't afford that shit. So 8 out of 10 times, I'm really paranoid. Suffering and smiling Fela said. I have stopped asking and depending on any god anywhere to deliver me or give me daily bread cos I know he don't care bout nothing. J Cole and the pills helped me during my darkest days in life, I pray you get to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever you do bro, remember, you only live once. Don't complicate your life with more silly mistakes. The universe can conspire to make your life worse just when you think it couldn't possibly be any worse. You could be shot, wounded or arrested in the robbery and spend years in a nigerian prison - the true definition of hell. And only then you'll wish you could go back to life before the robbery, and enjoy the seeming tough moments as a free man.

I think the most important thing for you to do right now is retrace your footsteps.

Quick the opiate thing or drug of any kind, you won't die but would get better with time.

Drugs have created more problems for youths than it had solved.

I'm sorry about your predicament tho, i can only imagine it.

Nwodosis:
Mechanics are confusing us with dirty clothes from easy indentification of the real mad people on the street! How do we identify scammers from those that actually need help?

Hi, I just borrowed a phone for a couple of minutes now. I know there are people who come up stories like this with proper write up and evidence well edited and arranged all for financial benefits or whatever. My situation at this point is not even just centred on financial support alone. I'm going psycho. Suicidal thoughts jump through my mind. I have all evidence. I'm even ready to meet anyone in person willing to help. I can travel down to anywhere if help will come and if I get transportation fair to travel. I have all my documents for identification, though I took a loan and used my waec result. I have my neco still n other papers. I can give out my school portal username and password to prove my current situation both academic poor performance and unpaid dues.


Pls guys I don't have much time with this phone.

I explained my situation to guy who sells at a nearby shop where I'm currently hiding. He's just a mini shop trader that sells snacks to motor park drivers n users and he's not financially stable but he seems to be so concerned with my situation. I feel if he could help me in anyway, we would have done so. He only offered that I should drop his phone number to whoever wants to confirm anything from me or hear from me over phone call. I'll drop the number below. Just call Jim and tell him u want to talk to Livinus, the boy that is looking for mini side job and where to sleep. He'll tell me when next I go to his shop. And I'll use the phone to call back. I'm giving this phone to the owner now. Whenever someone lends me a phone I'll come back online.

I have a robbery deal tonight. I'm contemplating on joining and playing my part as a driver. I'm just scared of doing this. I have no other option but I have no choice. I'll try my best to turn down the offer tho.


Thanks guys.
I may not come online again if I don't make it tonight, maybe if I get caught or shot in the process. Lord knows my situation. I pray God understands and forgives me if I indulge in an illegal act to raise money

I just want to settle their people I owe, get my self back together, quit drugs professionally through rehab, go back to school and also setup my business and music studio to serve as a source of income rather than been dependent on anyone.


Guys pls help me if you can. In anyway. Y'all could possibly donate up into any account u ppl can dedicate to put it in then I come out publicly to accept it and y'all follow me up to check on me continuesly to make sure i don't throw the money recklessly or run it all in drugs.

Silentspeaker:
I explained my situation to guy who sells at a nearby shop where I'm currently hiding. He's just a mini shop trader that sells snacks to motor park drivers n users and he's not financially stable but he seems to be so concerned with my situation. I feel if he could help me in anyway, we would have done so. He only offered that I should drop his phone number to whoever wants to confirm anything from me or hear from me over phone call. I'll drop the number below. Just call Jim and tell him u want to talk to Livinus, the boy that is looking for mini side job and where to sleep. He'll tell me when next I go to his shop. And I'll use the phone to call back. I'm giving this phone to the owner now. Whenever someone lends me a phone I'll come back online.

I have a robbery deal tonight. I'm contemplating on joining and playing my part as a driver. I'm just scared of doing this. I have no other option but I have no choice. I'll try my best to turn down the offer tho.


Thanks guys.
I may not come online again if I don't make it tonight, maybe if I get caught or shot in the process. Lord knows my situation. I pray God understands and forgives me if I indulge in an illegal act to raise money

I just want to settle their people I owe, get my self back together, quit drugs professionally through rehab, go back to school and also setup my business and music studio to serve as a source of income rather than been dependent on anyone.


Guys pls help me if you can. In anyway. Y'all could possibly donate up into any account u ppl can dedicate to put it in then I come out publicly to accept it and y'all follow me up to check on me continuesly to make sure i don't throw the money recklessly or run it all in drugs.

What's the update now??

This one dey joke o.

Jesus is the answer , invite him in your life and he will make everything alright....... his gonna restore all you have lost due to sin......if you commit suside and die , hell � is waiting for you..

Just stumbled on this topic now...

Op,I hope you're alive and safe?

if you find yourself in a hole stop digging. The challenges we face are often a result of associating with someone or something. ( Drugs in your case and friends).
You obviously have not learnt your lessons (you are associating with a new group that may cause you more harm).

SOLUTIONS
1)call all those you owe and promise to pay them in bits within 2 years( they will not like this but it would help) and ensure you do.
2)Sell off your AC, mattress and whatever is left. you should have some money to get by before getting a menial job.
3)Do not try to write all your carry overs at a time.
4)Make friends with you juniors in school. This should help you get along those courses you failed.
Hard things are hard. i hope this helps

I write articles which are beyond motivational, lessons from successful people and business tips.

Only You?

CONGRATULATIONS
CONGRATULATIONS
CONGRATULATIONS

Where is the 'frend' that introduced you to drugs? He is your worst enemy and not a friend.

Go for deliverance in a good church and from there, you can pick up gradually again.

How are you doing now, OP?

How are you doing now, OP?

kelcy1:
Jesus is the answer , invite him in your life and he will make everything alright....... his gonna restore all you have lost due to sin......if you commit suside and die , hell � is waiting for you..

Was Jesus not there when everything was happening?

If you are depressed, ask for help. So many people sacrificed for you to get to where you are, suicide shows you ain't grateful.

ayteaz:

Was Jesus not there when everything was happening?

And you claim that you love a particular Christian song . What a life!!!!

Shila16:
And you claim that you love a particular Christian song . What a life!!!!

So loving the lyrics and rhythm of a song means I should believe?

You went for robbery? I hope and pray you were caught and killed.

ayteaz:

So loving the lyrics and rhythm of a song means I should believe?

Why love a song that praises a God that you don’t believe in? My dear if you wan be atheist do it full time.

God loves you, you can always return to him

Shila16:
Why love a song that praises a God that you don’t believe in? My dear if you wan be atheist do it full time.

God loves you, you can always return to him

Lol...
So because I like olamides songs, it means I believe in everything he is singing about??

By the way I never said I an atheist, I am open to pictorial and video evidence of existence of God.

ayteaz:

Lol...
So because I like olamides songs, it means I believe in everything he is singing about??

By the way I never said I an atheist, I am open to pictorial and video evidence of existence of God.

both are two different scenarios, anyways I leave you to your thoughts