I married my wife three years ago and we had a child two years after wedding. Before we married, we actually dated for 5yrs. During this time, we were on a no-sex-before-marriage relationship.

On our wedding night, I realized there was something wrong with either of us, cos the sex didnt go well. I'd thought it was the fatigue caused by the day's activities. Subsequently, I noticed that my wife was always shouting and withdrawing from sex each time I penetrated her. I asked her why and she said the sex was painful.

My wife had been in a sexual relationship for almost 10yrs before I met her. I, on the other hand, had only had sex once in my 37 yrs (age I married). When my wife and I agreed to the no sex before marriage thing, during our period of dating, I started looking forward to our wedding night. I started fantasising on what sex would be like with my wife. I longed for sex with her....

How did she become pregnant? Ever since we got married, the kind of sexual intercourse we practised was one in which I would have to penetrate her ONLY with the tip of my joystick, or She pushed me away. Achieving full penetration was a mirage for me and it was frustrating and not enjoyable at all! I could not achieve that full penetration cos to her, it was paining her. That was how we had our sexual intercourse until she informed me she was pregnant. I didn't question the ownership of the pregnancy cos we are both Believers. I must sincerely say that it was DURING her pregnancy that I enjoyed sex with her. It was the period she allowed me to achieve that normal, full penetration I craved for. It was the period she was making those sounds typical of an intercourse.
We both paused sex until 3 months after childbirth.


From the time we resumed sex up till now, matters have become worse. This time around, no partial nor full penetration. All she wanted was for me to just rub my joystick around her vagina and she would cum. This, to me, wasn't my definition of sex. It's a frustrating and nightmarish experience. The sex that I so longed for It now looks like I am married to a woman without a vagina. This situation is killing me softly. I am dying inside. I don't know who to discuss this sensitive issue with for advice. Worse still, She told me bluntly that active, penetrative sex is a TURN OFF for her. She prefers passive sex. My wife doesn't even allow me to kiss her anymore. I guess she allowed partial penetration before childbirth cos she knew if i didnt penetrate her at all, she wouldnt get pregnant. Is this what I am going to live with the rest of my life?

NB: I had advised her to seek medical help; she said NO and that she didn't see it as a problem. I also advised her to use Vaseline during intercourse; she insisted it was inimical to her health. All other suggestions brought before her fell on deaf ears.

Pls, I need advice on what to do.


Modified: Pls, don't just view and ignore. I need your advice. I brought this matter up here cos it's a faceless forum. I will not seek help on Facebook cos it's a sensitive issue concerning my wife

How on earth can you agree to a no sex relationship with a girl who is not a virgin anymore? Well the whole story looks fake to me because a sane man cannot tolerate such. Man pikin don suffer for punna hand o

Darammliveth:
How on earth can you agree to a no sex relationship with a girl who is not a virgin anymore? Well the whole story looks fake to me because a sane man cannot tolerate such. Man pikin don suffer for punna hand o

She had changed from her old ways. This is what I am going through, bro.

Darammliveth:
How on earth can you agree to a no sex relationship with a girl who is not a virgin anymore? Well the whole story looks fake to me because a sane man cannot tolerate such. Man pikin don suffer for punna hand o

I find it completely disgusting that a full bloodied man will agree to no sex with a non virgin, and even worse, ten years sexually active woman. Men, be healed of your vagina worship syndrome. Smh. I spit on this thread.


Smh. When will men stop been weak for the goodness sakes of God.

Pity sex therapists are scarce. It's not exactly a thing to take to a pastor.

You two need to seriously sit down and talk or you will soon need to be looking for wife number two.

don't ever give o fool a lift...they will lead and direct u to their own destination...sorry bro.u got served.

If her complain about painful sex was valid then she will definitely seek medical attention without you advising her to do so because she will know it will tear her marriage apart.
I think there's something more to what you shared or she's not interested in the marriage.

With this your story, is not clear that she i s hiding something? Man! Go to her and tell her without mincing words how you feel and that you can't tolerate that any longer then engage her in a dialogue, don't take any excuse but a solution.

OBUKOMENA:
She had changed from her old ways. This is what I am going through, bro.

My brother, the truth is that you already missed it from that very day you agreed to a no sex relationship with her. She has been using you! Wake up bro. And don't forget to run a DNA test for the child. Act like a man broman

The real men have enjoyed her before you came bro... Sorry.

donbachi:
don't ever give o fool a lift...they will lead and direct u to their own destination...sorry bro.u got served.

Fvcking accurate. Never give a fool a lift. They direct one to the destination of their choice.

You are not the biological father of her child.your so-called wife has no emotional feelings for you.Divorce is not a crime.



Wake up from your slumber mR man!

If you can afford it, do it
i mean DNA TEST
why was the sex not painful during pregnancy?

skywalker240:
If you can afford it, do it

i mean DNA TEST

why was the sex not painful during pregnancy?

Good question! They say women crave for sex more when they are pregnant. Guess that was what happened. Besides, this baby I'm talking here looks me. My wife is no-longer proud of her past, actually. She's now a preacher of the Word. Reason I have never suspected her of infidelity.

She is fvcking someone else

Thanks for your contributions!

Adding up the story put up there, is it possible that a woman can experience pains sexually this much OR my wife doesn't dig me?

Because of this sexual ish, the marriage is driving me crazy. I am no longer happy in my marriage. I don't enjoy sex with my wife.

Maybe you should take her to a sex therapist without informing her cos from your narration she sees nothing wrong in it. If she's aware she might not want to go with you.

You need a wedding photography discount, check my signature

You need to investigate your wife o. Hope she’s faithful to only you. She was sexually active before marriage and suddenly after marriage sex is painful? Perhaps she doesn’t dig you sexually. She only wanted you as husband and father of her baby, if not she won’t be denying you sex. She’s not even considering your feelings

konkonbilo:
Maybe you should take her to a sex therapist without informing her cos from your narration she sees nothing wrong in it. If she's aware she might not want to go with you.

Pls, where do I get one? You can't believe we have been practising only one sexual position since we got married.

OBUKOMENA:
Good question! They say women crave for sex more when they are pregnant. Guess that was what happened. Besides, this baby I'm talking here looks me. My wife is no-longer proud of her past, actually. She's now a preacher of the Word. Reason I have never suspected her of infidelity.

if you say so.

OBUKOMENA:
Thanks for your contributions!

Adding up the story put up there, is it possible that a woman can experience pains sexually this much OR my wife doesn't dig me?

She doesn't dig you abeg. Was the child birth through CS?

Stories like this scares the hell out of me.

For God's sake what is this?

In situations like this, you have got to admire Islam and their idea about polygamy.

How can you deny your husband the sweetest thing in the world?

Isn't that wickedness?

Sir, I don't have an advice for you cos this is really a sensitive issue and only the married folks are allowed to advise.

I wish you all the best sir

Vagina worship


Men who refuse to stop worshipping vagina. Smh



Quit been nice, men. This is how nice men end. Be smart for goodness sakes.

OBUKOMENA:
She had changed from her old ways. This is what I am going through, bro.

hahahhaha
I hope say others dey learn. Test your market before you buy ooo. Op you just have to manage her like that. Its for better for worst cus thats what ur pastor would still tell u

No sex before marriage courtship is a dicey situation for anyone fa. Which kind wahala be this? Whew! May God Himself intervene o. It is well.

Sex is to be enjoyed in marriage! You should biko try your partner out before finally committing! Whew! Anyways, everyone to their opinions!

Sorry but the truth is, she don't fancy you.. Leaving the churchy aspect aside. When it comes to sex, with the one you love or fancy, trust me beast mood is been activated. This applies to pastors and every individual. The good thing is they are all doing it legally.
If the reverse was to be the case, let's assume you impotent. Will the situation be as light as this.. Call her for a discussion and be plane and blunt no sugar coating. because from you ordeal it seems you are tired and very soon sleeping around will become a norm, and that isn't who you are.

I don't believe this story.

Soo u think that a lady who has been actively having sex for 10 yrs all of a sudden decided not to have sex? Its possible but only something drastic can cause such a. Quick change....I feel like saying a lot of things but it might destroy your marriage.....but its obvious your don't have the ability to make your wife Hot ....make her crave for u....and I'm not sure she married u close she was in love with you but because she's getting old and she needs to marry asap.....quite common with ladies around 30 years.......Learn how to make love cose its obvious she prefers pre-intimacy to sex...learn, I have a female friend who gives her hubby DAT same treatment code she ain't in love with him but with the bf ......I get plenty things to say but the story no resemble true sef.

You married a lesbian bruh!!! So now you're not getting sexual fulfilment they'll say you should not cheat abi? Explain to her one last time about what you're going through. If she still refuses to consider you, my guy enjoy the sex else where. Just cheat on the low abeg. How will you be in a marriage where kissing is an issue? E go pain me pass when you finally find out she has been collecting steady D all this while.

stinflame:
Sorry but the truth is, she don't fancy you.. Leaving the churchy aspect aside. When it comes to sex, with the one you love or fancy, trust me beast mood is been activated. This applies to pastors and every individual. The good thing is they are all doing it legally.
If the reverse was to be the case, let's assume you impotent. Will the situation be as light as this.. Call her for a discussion and be plane and blunt no sugar coating. because from you ordeal it seems you are tired and very soon sleeping around will become a norm, and that isn't who you are.

Very good points, bro. The urge for sex with her is gradually dying. Because of that, I stay 4-5 wks without nearing her cos it's going to be same style, same frustrating experience, no kissing, etc. Na the build-up of the urge dey make me go near her again. And guess what? I have a high libido. Imagine someone who had had sex only once before marrying at 37. Hmmm?