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My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man - Family (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man (52168 Views)

As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? / My Cousin Who Got Married Last Year July Is Actually Thinking Of Leaving / My Boyfriend Is On The Verge Of Leaving Me. Help! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by sisisioge: 3:58pm On Sep 14, 2019
Belafonte:


So, what’s your real name? angry

Maybe I should ask in private angry

Try B....o grin grin
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 4:11pm On Sep 14, 2019
Atigba:


Osanobua where are you

Ori bhe na
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Amhappy(f): 4:21pm On Sep 14, 2019
Let her stay but to donate her kidney is a big no. Assuming she's done with child bearing okay.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by d33types: 5:08pm On Sep 14, 2019
LaExpert:


I expect you to know better if you're a doctor in training as mentioned.

You should know that kidney disease is not likely to be diagnosed until the signs are obvious and that would be about stage 4. You should also know that an acute failure may occur really fast though a transplant may not be needed.

By the way, the HLA test can take as little as 1 week to get results.

Acute failure leading to a transplant in 2 months abi? No sir.For them to have considered a transplant he would likely have been dialysed at least once


Secondly, churches do medical screening of which urinalysis is compulsory. It's very very likely he knew or might have suspected he had the issue.

HLA in one week in Nigeria? Where Pathcare or Union diagnostics?
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by naijacentric(m): 5:16pm On Sep 14, 2019
funmisticqueen:
Let her do what she wants to do. It is not by force to give him her kidney
Also, isn't it difficult to carry a pregnancy with just one kidney in future?
i think naija women should be banned from marriage u guys don't love unconditionally just look at d nonsense u just spewed

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by naijacentric(m): 5:17pm On Sep 14, 2019
Acidosis:


You have not seen instances where people refuse surgery for life threatening situations out of fear but instead choose to pray and visit men of God? You think they don't love themselves?


If love is love, go and donate your kidney to your girlfriend of 3 months. Love is sacrificial but it takes some levels of love to invoke deeper sacrifices. I would not empty my life savings for a girlfriend of 3 months, but I probably would do even more for a wife of 10-20 years. Love is not love, it takes a great deal of work and commitment to invoke deep commitment and sacrifice on the other side.
baba u nor well no vex a man talking like a lady
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by mechanics(m): 5:19pm On Sep 14, 2019
So during courtship, they didn't discuss any health issue abi, that's not a good thing for one to marry and latter divorce.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 5:44pm On Sep 14, 2019
naijacentric:
baba u nor well no vex a man talking like a lady
I be man, I be man, na so woman go dey use una head play ping pong. If you actually believe that a woman you just wedded (with no child) will give you her organ, then you're stup!d.

3 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by dasparrow: 6:10pm On Sep 14, 2019
@Post

If the wife were my sister, I will advise her against it. The husband knew he had kidney problems and did not tell her. Now he wants his wife of just 2 months to give her one of her kidneys when she has not even had any children yet. If she foolishly agrees and in the future can't give the man and his family children, they will send her packing, call her a barren witch and find one young 23 year old lady for a wife for him. No be Nigerian bred men and their families again? They will no longer remember the sacrifice that the wife made for him.

I will never advise any woman to give her organ to a Nigerian husband because 99.9% of Nigerian men never stay faithful in their marriage. They cheat with reckless abandonment and risk giving their spouses sexually transmitted diseases. Also, they dump their wives at the slightest sign of trouble like if the woman has not yet conceived shortly after marriage or if the children she bears are all girls.

So, Nigerian marriages are contractual agreements. I do not believe most Nigerian marriages are founded on true love anyway. If they were, we won't keep hearing all this horror stories of domestic violence including the murder of a spouse and chronic infidelity going on in many if not most Nigerian marriages. Miss me with that! Let the man and his family seek an organ donor who is a stranger and take it from there.

In marriage, women are expected to be:
In-house maid
In-house cleaner
In-house cook/ personal chef
Be the one who will take care of the kids
In-house incubator / baby breeding machine
Sex slave
And now organ donor
And then you wonder why some women are terrified of marriage or don't want to go into it altogether. SMH!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by ImaIma1(f): 7:11pm On Sep 14, 2019
It's a hard pill to swallow. But if two have really become one, she should give her kidney to save "their" life. But as I said, it's a hard pill to swallow. If she doesn't go through with it, she should not be condemned. His siblings would probably decline too
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by yeyeosoronga: 7:41pm On Sep 14, 2019
naijacentric:
i think naija women should be banned from marriage u guys don't love unconditionally just look at d nonsense u just spewed

No Naija man loves unconditionally either.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Chukapage(m): 8:12pm On Sep 14, 2019
funmisticqueen:
who is this bitter soul.

FYI, I no longer participate in the gutter that is Ubunja's thread, have other things on my mind than bitter red pill men with an entitlement, victim. mentality who has nothing to offer
you are obviously the one with not just a bitter soul but a BLACK SOUL .you don't care about his threads but your always there Bitch please!!
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 8:16pm On Sep 14, 2019
Chukapage:
you are obviously the one with not just a bitter soul but a BLACK SOUL .you don't care about his threads but your always there Bitch please!!
when last did you see me there. Carry your lowkey gay, bitter ass outta here.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Chukapage(m): 8:22pm On Sep 14, 2019
funmisticqueen:
when last did you see me there. Carry your lowkey gay, bitter ass outta here.
lol na "gay" now grin.mumu I am expecting "who hurt you" aunty wey mumu
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by yeyeosoronga: 8:22pm On Sep 14, 2019
Martinez39:

In your need to simultaneously defend and make excuses for the woman and soothe your conscience, you wrote me something I had repeated over and over again. For the umpteenth time, she has the right not to give her kidney but the fact still remains that she doesn't love her husband because if she did, she will give the kidney. No two ways about it.

You yourself know that you can't love any man except for his resources not to talk of sacrificing for love so to soothe your conscience, knowing fully well that you are selfish and have no love for any man except his resources, you are defending the woman and leaving out the important truths. Let's be upfront, tell it as it is, and stop deceiving ourselves. Though she has the right to refuse giving him her kidney but it stands that she has no love for him. Insecurity is truly the weakness of a woman.

Love has always been a scam in most relationships, and often used loosely to manipulate others. She doesn't love her husband, but nothing suggests her husband loves her either.
I wouldn't advice her to give her husband of 2 months her kidney if she's not comfortable doing so. It's as simple as that

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 8:29pm On Sep 14, 2019
yeyeosoronga:


Love has always been a scam in most relationships, and often used loosely to manipulate others. She doesn't love her husband, but nothing suggests her husband loves her either.
I wouldn't advice her to give her husband of 2 months her kidney if she's not comfortable doing so. It's as simple as that
Lol. Na so. Keep defending. He partly trained her in school yet nothing suggests he loves her? Whether he loves her or not wasn't our bone of contention. The crux is she doesn't love the man. After accepting to marry a man, you suddenly start analysing whether he loves you or not because it's time to make sacrifice for the love in marriage. Aunty, let's end the issue. We can agree to disagree.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by yeyeosoronga: 8:45pm On Sep 14, 2019
Martinez39:
Lol. Na so. Keep defending. He partly trained her in school yet nothing suggests he loves her? Whether he loves her or not wasn't our bone of contention. The crux is she doesn't love the man. After accepting to marry a man, you suddenly start analysing whether he loves you or not because it's time to make sacrifice for the love in marriage. Aunty, let's end the issue. We can agree to disagree.

Because you trained even your relative through school doesn't mean you deserve a kidney, bros. It doesn't even mean you would offer them a kidney either despite freely giving up your money, if the tables were turned.
While it's unfortunate the gentleman in question is so Ill to need an organ transplant, his wife shouldn't be shamed into giving hers up unwillingly.
If she's noble and brave enough to do so, I would cheer her on and never discourage her not to. However, if she's also realistic enough and true to herself to decline giving up her kidney in the name of love, I would equally support her gidigban.

2 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 10:01pm On Sep 14, 2019
yeyeosoronga:


Because you trained even your relative through school doesn't mean you deserve a kidney, bros. It doesn't even mean you would offer them a kidney either despite freely giving up your money, if the tables were turned.
While it's unfortunate the gentleman in question is so Ill to need an organ transplant, his wife shouldn't be shamed into giving hers up unwillingly.
If she's noble and brave enough to do so, I would cheer her on and never discourage her not to. However, if she's also realistic enough and true to herself to decline giving up her kidney in the name of love, I would equally support her gidigban.


Lol. Logically showing things to a woman is impossible. I understand the need to soothe your conscience. You are coming from a place of feelings not logic/reasoning hence you are defending your narrative no matter what even if it means saying things that are unnecessary in our decision and repeating things that I have clarified. Your feelings, not logic, is your priority here. Note that:

1) Whether the husband loves the girl or not is not an issue of our discussion. I said this before but you are feigning ignorance.
2) Whether the man deserves it or not is not an issue of our discussion. You are bringing it up for no reason other than to build up excuses and defend the woman for the sake of conscience.
3) We have agreed that the woman has the right not to give out her kidney but it's a fact that she doesn't love her husband. If she loves her husband, she will give her kidney. No two ways about it.

The embolden is just my main point and that is what is giving your conscience a tough time because you know that even though you ought to love, you yourself can't love a man except for his resources not to talk of sacrificing your kidney to save his life despite telling him that you love him and "for better for worse". So it's natural to defend the woman and make excuses for her to somehow justify your inherent selfishness and lack of love for your significant other. I will keep to my promise and end it here. The woman does not love the man. End of story.

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by SHOCK7(m): 5:09am On Sep 15, 2019
Martinez39:
This is nonsense and unrelated to our discussion. People who pray instead of going to the doctors are just being foolish and are blinded by faith. It has nothing to do with love. It's just an immense confidence in one's god. A human being can run fine on one kidney. There is no reason to deny your good husband of a kidney, let's just admit that she doesn't love her good husband and is willing to run when sh!t hits the fan. Let's say it as it is and stop giving excuses.

I don't have a girlfriend and would never have one.
what I want 2 know,is why the last part of 'ur paragraph of not having a gf?
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by yeyeosoronga: 6:38am On Sep 15, 2019
Martinez39:

Note that:
1) Whether the husband loves the girl or not is not an issue of our discussion. I said this before but you are feigning ignorance.
2) Whether the man deserves it or not is not an issue of our discussion. You are bringing it up for no reason other than to build up excuses and defend the woman for the sake of conscience.
3) We have agreed that the woman has the right not to give out her kidney but it's a fact that she doesn't love her husband. If she loves her husband, she will give her kidney. No two ways about it.

The embolden is just my main point and that is what is giving your conscience a tough time because you know that even though you ought to love, you yourself can't love a man except for his resources not to talk of sacrificing your kidney to save his life despite telling him that you love him and "for better for worse". So it's natural to defend the woman and make excuses for her to The woman does not love the man. End of story.

I agree she doesn't love her husband, but that's OK. Most marriages aren't built on love. I never said she loves the man, I even said she doesn't love him if you look through my posts on this matter.
I'm happy you agree she doesn't owe him her kidney. He's not ENTITLED to it, and definitely not because he married her. Her decision not to give him one should be respected. Simple.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 8:18am On Sep 15, 2019
SHOCK7:

what I want 2 know,is why the last part of 'ur paragraph of not having a gf?
I find romantic relationships to be overrated and a complete waste of time. There is nothing I need from it. I also plan not to marry and have children because it's the way I want it and I am happier that way. Even if I want children, I will go through surrogate mums. A nanny, employed by me, will take care of my kids until they can safely find their way around the house(around age 9) and keep themselves okay. I will spend quality time with them to raise them properly. My life.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 10:23am On Sep 15, 2019
THANK YOU.
tyeenigga:
If you are on Abuja or can get Human Rights Radio contact they can help the family, they needed one kidney and four people came for free donation.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 10:28am On Sep 15, 2019
No, i hv ny taken any stand
sirclemzy:

It's obvious that you are just looking for excuses for your cousin not to donate.
You have already taken a stand on it with your family.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 10:29am On Sep 15, 2019
Thank you o!
uzoexcel:

i will use something i got from John Grisham's book, 'A time to kill.
For those advocating for the woman to leave this man,i would suggest this. Close your eyes and then Imagine this scenario but with the other way round. i.e The woman needing a kidney.would you suggest that the Man divorce her?
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 10:30am On Sep 15, 2019
angry
madgoat:



That your cousin is a witch. She never loved the man or else she would not think twice of donating a kidney to a man she loves. I really hope something terribly bad happens to her and she will need the help of other.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by uzoexcel(m): 10:37am On Sep 15, 2019
LillyVal:
Thank you o!
you welcome. o
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by greenmonk: 10:49am On Sep 15, 2019
jclassiq:


This is the problem with the world today. Ppl are increasingly becoming selfish.
who is more selfish?
The man who hid his health problem until 8 weeks after wedding or the woman who is afraid to embark on life or death mission.
It is only in movies that you send six able bodied soldiers to rescue a prisoner of war whose condition is not ascertained in the enemy camp.
We should be realistic. There are instances where donors develop complications and die for ordinary blood donation.

3 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Greatzeus(m): 11:56am On Sep 15, 2019
purples25:
She can still live with her other kidney. And thats her husband.

Well, i was going to comment with all indignation and fury but thats the only piece of my mind i will show. Besides, i dont have any right to judge.
Every other girl up there supported the girl's decision expect you. Wow, meaning you would do that for your husband if you are in her shoe. You have a good heart. wink
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by purples25(f): 1:06pm On Sep 15, 2019
Greatzeus:

Every other girl up there supported the girl's decision expect you. Wow, meaning you would do that for your husband if you are in her shoe. You have a good heart. wink

I just feel that since she will still have one and she wont die, she can still do it.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by baby124: 3:42pm On Sep 15, 2019
Very tough situation. Very tough... though some people donate kidneys for free. This seems like a very young woman who was scammed into a marriage for spare parts. Though I doubt because it’s not possible to know if she is a match unless through blood test.

Could it be that they had already tested her without her understanding what she was being tested for? Giving anyone’s organs away is tough as you can’t even tell if the other one will take you far.

Also, people are so disloyal and complete ingrates these days that one is scared to go the extra mile. Worse, she doesn’t have kids for him. I can only do this for my family members and the father of my kids (husband). Hubby has to have proven that he can die for me, which he has anyway.

For such a marriage with no kids, I would be a bit scared to do it too. Some bastards will even have a side chick somewhere waiting for the operation to be successful so they can carry on disrespecting to foolish donor aka wife.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by DonaTee(f): 3:42pm On Sep 15, 2019
All these people shouting give him one kidney bla bla bla Its easier said than done. If she can give fine, If she Cant lipsrsealed she Has the choice to make. This Has Nothing to do with wickedness. Her mental State is very important here. Training her in school does not equate 1 kidney.

Its a Pity their love doesnt Seem to bê enough

Some Men Cant Even donate blood for their wives who's in labor b Bleeding. Ofozia donating organs..... Its not for the faint hearted
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by naijacentric(m): 3:46pm On Sep 15, 2019
yeyeosoronga:


No Naija man loves unconditionally either.
really but dey lift women from poverty why cant our women do such for us pls think deep on dis

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