I've dated my fiancee for close to two years now and we've got deep in love with each other.

I had even paid the mum a familiarization visit with my friend. And we were well received. Then she was still in the north serving. She was a corps member.

We had even planned that, when she returned, next was to meet the dad. And if possible, even pick a date for nikka. Cos I'm all out ready.

Now she is back home fully.

And on our first meeting, she told me: "My dad says our marriage is not going to work out. That you will leave me."

Right now, I've been thinking about several things.

Please guys, I need your advice. This is too heavy on me.

Did you ask her why her father believes your relationship with his daughter won't last?
If yes, kindly tell us, and wait for Nairaland elders to handle the matter.

Please someone should give some useful advice here. Waiting. Thanks.

Get the Dad what he likes most and you are good to go

AdaAde:
Did you ask her why her father believes your relationship with his daughter won't last?
If yes, kindly tell us, and wait for Nairaland elders to handle the matter.

Thank you for the question my sister. Yes o, I did.

She said, reluctantly, that her father said they had checked it. And it was said that I will leave her eventually.

The thing weak me aswear.

seniorgozman:
Get the Dad what he likes most and you are good to go

Like seriously? Will this work? Hmm.

Okay thanks for your input. I really appreciate it.

Please more advice please.

How old is the said girl?

tell her to ask her foolish father what else does he see in his crystal ball?!

it seems your woman feels less concerned, if not,what has she done to oppose her dad , its her battle and not yours but if she feels less concerned then why are you worried, it simply means she doesn't care.
My mum opposed my choice of a hubby because I had 2 "abroad based" suitors,without even telling hubby, I battled my mum till she gave her consent. If she can't fix her dad,look elsewhere. The battle isn't yours.

Same thing happened to me.. Her dad wants her to marry someone from her tribe. He told her she's wasting her time dating someone like me because he won't approve the marriage and all. Well I got my heart broken last month. If your girl isn't willing to fight for you like mine, just try and move on because the breakup is around the corner. It's going to hurt but all the best.

Emescot:
How old is the said girl?

Thanks. She is 24.

MrBrownJay1:
tell her to ask her foolish father what else does he see in his crystal ball?!

Sorry sir, her father, is not, from the look of things, stupid. And I don't think I can ask him such a question. Thanks.

Easybela:
it seems your woman feels less concerned, if not,what has she done to oppose her dad , its her battle and not yours but if she feels less concerned then why are you worried, it simply means she doesn't care.
My mum opposed my choice of a hubby because I had 2 "abroad based" suitors,without even telling hubby, I battled my mum till she gave her consent. If she can't fix her dad,look elsewhere. The battle isn't yours.

Wow, words of wisdom. Thank you very much.

This is the opinion shared by many. Even my friend just told me that right here before checking this message.

And before now, I was so tough on her and nearly choked her literally, asking what role she has played so far in this.

She looks disturbed too, but I don't think she approves of the move by her dad. She is, I believe, deeply in love too.

Iamhumble:
Sorry sir, her father, is not, from the look of things, stupid. And I don't think I can ask him such a question. Thanks.

well, what do you think of the father's deluded vision then? you can either accept it or face the father and dismiss his deluded claim. choice is yours.

physise:
Same thing happened to me.. Her dad wants her to marry someone from her tribe. He told her she's wasting her time dating someone like me because he won't approve the marriage and all. Well I got my heart broken last month. If your girl isn't willing to fight for you like mine, just try and move on because the breakup is around the corner. It's going to hurt but all the best.

Hmm. God forbid bad thing! I don't wish to lose this relationship. And I don't think she wants to too, at least from my observation so far.

But what I don't understand now is why would the father allow me come visit and the mother appeared hospitable when this issue had lingered. Yes, she told me it's been there when she came home during her first NYSC break.

I can't just focus right now.

I'm an online person and you know how much one needs to concentrate less make silly, avoidable mistakes.

Thanks for your inputs. More please.

MrBrownJay1:


well, what do you think of the father's deluded vision then? you can either accept it or face the father and dismiss his deluded claim. choice is yours.

Hmm. I don't even know.

I don't want to be tempted to think that they must have done some funny Alfa-ish consultation where he must have been bamboozled with such cliches like "they are not compatible." "problems will happen in the future if they get married." and all that kind of emptiness.

Iamhumble:

Hmm. I don't even know.

I don't want to be tempted to think that they must have done some funny Alfa-ish consultation where he must have been bamboozled with such cliches like "they are not compatible." "problems will happen in the future if they get married." and all that kind of emptiness.

sadly thats what it is, and if you believe strongly about this girl, then STAND for what you believe and face these archaic practices head on. stand up to the father and whoever said you were no good for that babe.

MrBrownJay1:


sadly thats what it is, and if you believe strongly about this girl, then STAND for what you believe and face these archaic practices head on. stand up to the father and whoever said you were no good for that babe.

Thanks man. This is my position too.

But, really, we all know the powerful role of a father in any relationship.

I don't want my kind of marriage to be built on words like, whatever comes out of it in the future, we will remind her that, we warned her.

No, I don't want that kind of marriage.

Besides, Islamically, no marriage is valid without the full approval of the parents, especially the father.

Iamhumble:


Thanks man. This is my position too.

But, really, we all know the powerful role of a father in any relationship.

I don't want my kind of marriage to be built on words like, whatever comes out of it in the future, we will remind her that, we warned her.

No, I don't want that kind of marriage.

Besides, Islamically, no marriage is valid without the full approval of the parents, especially the father.

go for what you believe in, man... forget about the rest! whatever the father thinks of you, prove him wrong.
you cant marry this babe until the father approves, so if you cant prove him wrong, then at least let him know exactly how you feel.

as for what the future brings, dont sweat it and just be the best man you can ever be. basta!

MrBrownJay1:


go for what you believe in, man... forget about the rest! whatever the father thiks of you, prove him wrong.
you cant marry this babe until the father approves, so if you cant prove him wrong, then at least let him know exactly how you feel.

as for what the future brings, dont sweat it and just be the best man you can ever be. basta!

Thank you very much.

Iamhumble:


Thank you for the question my sister. Yes o, I did.

She said, reluctantly, that her father said they had checked it. And it was said that I will leave her eventually.

The thing weak me aswear.

Let them keep checking it till she clocks 44

24 years old child can't dictate her own future?

Prove nothing my friend just move on.

U are even trying to bundle one family problem on urself and here they are giving conditions. They should marry their daughter jhoor.

Marriage between same tribes do crash, between different tribes do crash.
Even between the supposed and least expect Inlaws still crash.

It's up to ur girl and if she can't defend u. Quitely Park, let whom they are well pleased come marry and wish her well.

Your own even better.
Mum is fine with you. Dad isn't .
Work with the mum and everything will be fine.. They would both work things out in the oza room.
Mine, both parents are not in support.. just because we not same tribe.

Iamhumble:


Hmm. God forbid bad thing! I don't wish to lose this relationship. And I don't think she wants to too, at least from my observation so far.

But what I don't understand now is why would the father allow me come visit and the mother appeared hospitable when this issue had lingered. Yes, she told me it's been there when she came home during her first NYSC break.

I can't just focus right now.

I'm an online person and you know how much one needs to concentrate less make silly, avoidable mistakes.

Thanks for your inputs. More please.

Have you ever met with the father?

Has he personally given you his disapproval?

I find it strange that the father said it would not work and was still fine with you visiting his wife her mother.

A lot of things might be in play:

1. Your girl has met someone else and because of what you have invested in the relationship, she is using her dad knowing the importance of his consent in your religion.

2. The father truly disapproved however, her mom is trying to work on him.

3. The father try disapproved however daughter and mom are still stringing you along because of what you bring to the table.

4. The girl is testing your persistence or your desire of her. All these romcoms put ideas in people's heads.

Please find a way to get the father's actual opinion.

Goodluck.

Iamhumble:


Thank you for the question my sister. Yes o, I did.

She said, reluctantly, that her father said they had checked it. And it was said that I will leave her eventually.

The thing weak me aswear.

The guy man has consulted the oracle..
I don't blame the father though..most of our parents make such move on our behalf. if you know you know

Awwwwn.... Maybe the man is a spiritual someone, and he solely believes in it... Maybe you should pray too.. What religion do you practise?

DonHummer:

The guy man has consulted the oracle..
I don't blame the father though..most of our parents make such move on our behalf. if you know you know

Hmmm. Even when that decision will hurt the child?

Lamanii22:
Awwwwn.... Maybe the man is a spiritual someone, and he solely believes in it... Maybe you should pray too.. What religion do you practise?

Thank you. We are Muslims.

If her dad don't want u and ur girl is not able to convince him otherwise .... My brother, waka. Find another girl marry.

Bro don't sweat it and be desperate. Just do the best you can and keep praying objectively about it. I can assure you that whatever will be the final outcome, will be to your own favour.