Guest007:


I don't care about all this... I'm focused on the op. What other people do or don't do has nothing to do with this issue op has. His future wife is of the opinion that church wedding is as important and maybe a little more for HER

How are you guys not getting this? Op is in the wrong because he accepted her wishes and now... This! Op is in the wrong and I hope she stands her ground.

Men have left many wives after traditional weddings and crossed the road to marry their new catch at her church because tradition gives more room than a church wedding.

Tbh, I don't understand your statistics, going by nairaland, you'd think only Nigerians are Christians

if both the OP agreed that until their wedding night and she specified that is the white wedding tman agreement is an agreement..

I asked someone this question here..
if I can dump you after traditional marriage what prevents me from dumping you after white wedding for your info and traditional marriage also have a marriage certificate

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

Onyeka Owenu song comes to mind....... If you love me, you go wait for me.............

Move the wedding forward. Would she still give you her cookie, if you conduct registry wedding?

Registry wedding in the eyes of the law, is legally acceptable than church wedding....

I hope she is truly a virgin, after all this months of waiting.... But after the deed is done, I hope you feel it would be worth the wait...... The worse lays are virgins......

If you are a Nigerian. I just want you to find a lawyer friend and tell him to advise you or educate you on the kind of marriage our laws recognize. Your views will definitely shift a little bit from where you are now

Wiseoldman:


Mr man, you need to read more. Church is where two or more people are gathered in God's name. It is not the building. And there is no such thing as church wedding. It is the traditional wedding of the British people.

Pastors are invited to pray and bless the union during our traditional wedding the same way it was done in the bible when Jesus turned water to wine. All you need is your own traditional wedding. The british style wedding we do in church is fine, but only ceremonial.

midnighter:
For some people its important to take the sacred vows in accordance with their church, with an ordained priest or anointed pastor. To offer themselves and their marriage at the altar and to promise to serve God with that marriage, in a religious context. If you go to church to pray normally, to ask for things, to celebrate religious festivals then it would also make sense to celebrate finding your life partner in that church

Some people need their own church members to serve as witnesses... the church is their family and the church family need to observe the union and enjoin to help the couple to keep it strong and healthy

A Christian marriage is also an act of worship in itself so they would like to consecrate their union in a religious context. Just like you go to church to pray but it doesnt mean you dont also worship at home, at school, on the road, etc. This is a sign that you have invited God into your marriage from the beginning. Location matters

Thats not to say that a traditional marriage is just for heathens, but the emphasis is more on other things even though prayers are still offered at the trad wedding ceremony. But a church wedding helps to contextualise the relationship and see it in a different way

The spiritual implication is that you have celebrated yourself, your partner and your union in God's presence which carries a blessing. On the day particular verses from the Bible will be read and explained to you, the wisdom of which you will carry for the rest of your life. You have established yourselves as a wedded couple and a new unit in the church body. The celebration itself, though its imported, has ancient symbolism rooted in Christian practice. This is why its important to a lot of people

I'm sure you don't know that the so called church wedding you described here is the British Traditional wedding. The template is designed by the Church of England. And guess who is the head of the Church if England? Queen Elizabeth
This is how they want their traditional wedding done. They passed this on to their colonies like Nigeria. Wedding's in the bible were mostly done in the brides house. The pastor can bless the wedding at the ceremony. No need for church building, since the building is not the church but the people.

Is this the bible's interpretation of a marital ceremony or your own self righteous interpretation?

White wedding gown was not the norm until 1849. Many Christian women prior to that got married in their 'pure' form without the silly colour.

tradepunter:
Mr Hot potty, I have paid bride price so come lemme ram you. Don't defile the purity of your marriage.. That white gown of your wife means purity, not touched so if you know what's good for you keep it that way.

You think it's all about been a Christian? If you like don't ask for the Holy Ghost to come into your life and strengthen you devil will us you play ten ten..

Your job should be engaging God as you have taken a step the devil is all too very very happy to destroy... May the Lord grant you wisdom

was okay with her religious convictions

Which convictions. Who verified her virginity?

Na this kind thread Nairalander no dey sleep on top , we go hear am till tomorrow morning , Amazingly those commenting never get hair for their private part Ooo ......shake my head

ode4short:
Ask her the kind of Virgin she be because their are two type of Virgins.

1. Virgin Virgin- means never chop joystick before

2. Virgin after repentance. For this virgin eh, after you don chop all kinds of joystick come give your life to Christ. They come born you again making you born again. She be virgin in Christ Jesus so bro find out the one she b...

Thank me later

I Thank u now

Wiseoldman:


I'm sure you don't know that the so called church wedding you described here is the British Traditional wedding. The template is designed by the Church of England. And guess who is the head of the Church if England? Queen Elizabeth
This is how they want their traditional wedding done. They passed this on to their colonies like Nigeria. Wedding's in the bible were mostly done in the brides house. The pastor can bless the wedding at the ceremony. No need for church building, since the building is not the church but the people.

You did noooooooooot read my post. I know you didnt!

It amazes me when people quote me with something that only has a passing relevance to what I said. I mean I really find it amazing.










Amazing!

BarrElChapo:
You see the post you replied had a scenario of infertility.. But you're missing the point all together.. Dissolution "divorce" of marriage is completely different from Annulment of marriage from the scenario that you replied and from my the article i sent you. If I were representing a petitioner I would come under

Fraud or Duress
Fraud is where there is dishonest misrepresentation by a party to the marriage by which the consent of the other was obtained, while duress is when a party to the marriage is compelled to contract such marriage by creating a state of fear or apprehension, which prevented the party from freely consenting to the marriage.

Sorry I don't have a copy of the act at the moment but if this doesn't convince you hopefully during the day we could continue. Cheers !

Where consent is proved to have been obtained by fraud or duress, the marriage is annulled not because of the presence of fraud or duress but because of the absence of consent.

I get you. But it is illogical to claim fraud or duress . He was in nowhere defrauded or forced to marry her. A marriage is a contract and a promise to marry is an executory contract consisting of the promisor and promisee. The man is the promisor who makes a promise to the promisee and the promisee accepts the promise. How can the promisee then be liable for fraud or duress?

By the the above I mean that it is only the party whose consent was sought that can dissolve the marriage because of fraud. The person who sought the consent cannot alledge fraud.

Below a screenshot from your article.

UyaiIncomparabl:

You're an angel UyaiIncomparabl

Don't fall for this trick. One confirm her HIV status or something else. There is something she is hiding. She knows once una Don marry, no going back. Shine your eyes oo

BarrElChapo:
If you are a Nigerian. I just want you to find a lawyer friend and tell him to advise you or educate you on the kind of marriage our laws recognize. Your views will definitely shift a little bit from where you are now

By law, you need a government issued certificate. This can be issued by any Nigerian with such authority, some places of worship have applied and gotten the license and can issue this. Biblically, you need the traditional wedding.

That is why no church will do a ceremonial british traditional wedding without you confirming that you have done the traditional wedding.

Suspend the white wedding indefinitely, while you keep fucking around openly. Let her know she will only be the loser if she keeps hoarding that pussy I guess is rather smelly.
When you eventually find out she is not a virgin, doesn’t she know what she will deserve will be capital punishment?

BiggyB242:


I'm telling you. I have seen a lady who dated a guy for a year no sex, but met another in a month the guy don fill cup, he wasn't that into her.
From my own perspective if a girl gives me condition of any sort and she still stick to it after a month then I know I non get her key, I quietly move on.

I dey tell u.

Happy sexually-deprived union

midnighter:


You did noooooooooot read my post. I know you didnt!

It amazes me when people quote me with something that only has a passing relevance to what I said. I mean really find it amazing.










Amazing!

Sorry if I misquoted you. Cheers.

Newguyhere:
Women break rules for alphas and make rules for betas op I'm afraid you are the latter

I'm learning from you bro

cococandy:
So these men shame women for being oloshos who have sex before marriage but can’t stand one who’s actually waiting for the wedding night?
Confused mofos.

OP that woman knows what she wants which is more than anyone can say for you.

You may not be good enough for her so if it pleases you, let her go. She will find someone who shares same beliefs as her and will be willing to wait.

then you can find the one who will have sex with you whenever you want so that you and your fellow NL retrdds can swarm around and call her olosho.

Been a while coco. The wedding night in this case had long come and gone.

BarrElChapo:
Brief a lawyer. He/she should be able to help you sort out the situation. Goodluck

pls advise me. Seems you're a law practitioner. My WhatsApp 08052969792

TruthSpeaker:
Suspend the white wedding indefinitely, while you keep fucking around openly. Let her know she will only be the loser if she keeps hoarding that pussy I guess is rather smelly.
When you eventually find out she is not a virgin, doesn’t she know what she will deserve will be capital punishment?

Quite a rude statement to speak about someone else's wife just because he brought up the subject here.

However, if you yet insist on the 'smelly' place, we all lived close to that place for 9 months and most passed out through there to come out. Live with it.

marvin905:




if both the OP agreed that until their wedding night and she specified that is the white wedding tman agreement is an agreement..

I asked someone this question here..
if I can dump you after traditional marriage what prevents me from dumping you after white wedding for your info and traditional marriage also have a marriage certificate

What if... This girl had a dream for her first night. What if this whole thing is all she lived for? What if she pictured her first night with her husband in her own special way.

If you read the op... She made it very clear which wedding night she meant. Op said he never took her seriously, to chop new pussy is messing up his integrity and his character. I really feel bad for the girl... So much shame and drama for the night she waited for while op treated STD up and down

midnighter:
For some people its important to take the sacred vows in accordance with their church, with an ordained priest or anointed pastor. To offer themselves and their marriage at the altar and to promise to serve God with that marriage, in a religious context. If you go to church to pray normally, to ask for things, to celebrate religious festivals then it would also make sense to celebrate finding your life partner in that church

Some people need their own church members to serve as witnesses... the church is their family and the church family need to observe the union and enjoin to help the couple to keep it strong and healthy

A Christian marriage is also an act of worship in itself so they would like to consecrate their union in a religious context. Just like you go to church to pray but it doesnt mean you dont also worship at home, at school, on the road, etc. This is a sign that you have invited God into your marriage from the beginning. Location matters

Thats not to say that a traditional marriage is just for heathens, but the emphasis is more on other things even though prayers are still offered at the trad wedding ceremony. But a church wedding helps to contextualise the relationship and see it in a different way

The spiritual implication is that you have celebrated yourself, your partner and your union in God's presence which carries a blessing. On the day particular verses from the Bible will be read and explained to you, the wisdom of which you will carry for the rest of your life. You have established yourselves as a wedded couple and a new unit in the church body. The celebration itself, though its imported, has ancient symbolism rooted in Christian practice. This is why its important to a lot of people

Na wa oooo

White man tells you that yours,the blackman's own is useless except his.
My people get it right,when you marry traditionally, that's the main deal.If you want to add jara go do or copy the white man's wedding which you have been brainwashed as the one acceptable by God.
Who told you?
My man!
You have been brainwashed too!

teemy:


Been a while coco. The wedding night in this case had long come and gone.

Not for her.

She believes it’s on her white wedding day. As do many Nigerian women actually. The wedding is not fully official until the white wedding day. You all know this.

I may not necessarily agree with that but he knew what she stood for. She probably had a fantasy (as was taught to her by the pious society) of keeping her virginity until she wears the white wedding gown and then having sex for first time after saying I do with the ring and all that.

He agreed to that and now he’s complaining.

Sounds like a petulant child. He should gtfo

Wiseoldman:
Sorry if I misquoted you. Cheers.

No problem. Cheers

udemzyudex:
Na wa oooo

Lol are all those "o"s for me? Why do you ask a question when you dont want to know the answer

I'm not not claiming anything I just merely lifted what the law provides find below from the matrimonial causes act.

3. (1) Subject to the provisions of this section, a marriage that takes place after the commencement of this Act is void in any of the following cases but not otherwise, that is to say, where-

(a) either of the parties is, at the time of the marriage, lawfully married to some other person;

(b) the parties are within the prohibited degrees of consanguinity or, subject to section 4 of this Act, of affinity;

(c) the marriage is not a valid marriage under the law of the place where the marriage takes place, by reason of a failure to comply with the requirements of the law of that place with respect to the form of solemnisation of marriages;

(d) the consent of either of the parties is not a real consent because-

(i) it was obtained by duress or fraud; or

(ii) that party is mistaken as to identity of the other party, or as to the nature of the ceremony performed; or

(iii) that party is mentally incapable of understand- ing the nature of the marriage contract;

(e) either of the parties is not of marriageable age
You said marriage is a contract.. What are the ingredients of a valid contract ? Offer, consideration and acceptance.
back to the scenario.. if a man wishes to marry a woman for the sole purpose of procreation and the woman accepts knowing fully that she cannot bear children. Has a valid contract been executed between them ? your guess is as good as mine. Keep in mind that procreation is the consideration for entering into the contract in the first place.. Cheers

Freehuman:


I get you. But it is illogical to claim fraud or duress . He was in nowhere defrauded or forced to marry her. A marriage is a contract and a promise to marry is an executory contract consisting of the promisor and promisee. The man is the promisor who makes a promise to the promisee and the promisee accepts the promise. How can the promisee then be liable for fraud or duress?

TruthSpeaker:
Suspend the white wedding indefinitely, while you keep fucking around openly. Let her know she will only be the loser if she keeps hoarding that pussy I guess is rather smelly.
When you eventually find out she is not a virgin, doesn’t she know what she will deserve will be capital punishment?

Matters of the vaginaa is affecting this one so badly.


Pathetic

my broda, you are the scammer here. You rushed the traditional wedding only just so you can shift her pants. All I can hear from you are the words of a selfish Hot man, you would rather she compromise her faith and words just to satisfy your silliness. If you can't wait for the white wedding, them collect back all your bride price and the remaining trash which seems to be basis of your selfish foolish words.

Guest007:


What if... This girl had a dream for her first night. What if this whole thing is all she lived for? What if she pictured her first night with her husband in her own special way.

If you read the op... She made it very clear which wedding night she meant. Op said he never took her seriously, to chop new pussy is messing up his integrity and his character. I really feel bad for the girl... So much shame and drama for the night she waited for while op treated STD up and down

hahahahahaha ..
your wicked..
I do understand what you mean this might have been her fantasy her Cinderella story...
but I think you need to still look at the OP side even for a little while ..an agreement is agreement whether OP took it seriously or not buh body nor fire it's blood that runs through he's veins and from the look of things the white wedding ain't coming anytime soon
one of them will have to make a compromise buh the truth is this they are already married..
my fear for OP is that he's sexual life is already fvcked up

AwkaetitiBabe:
You both live in the same house since the traditional marriage and no action? Wow wow wow. As in she doesn't get turned on by seeing you up close? Hmmmmm wonderment.

Simply go do the white wedde

she doesn't get wet at close range

BarrElChapo:
I'm not not claiming anything I just merely lifted what the law provides find below from the matrimonial causes act.

3. (1) Subject to the provisions of this section, a marriage that takes place after the commencement of this Act is void in any of the following cases but not otherwise, that is to say, where-

(a) either of the parties is, at the time of the marriage, lawfully married to some other person;

(b) the parties are within the prohibited degrees of consanguinity or, subject to section 4 of this Act, of affinity;

(c) the marriage is not a valid marriage under the law of the place where the marriage takes place, by reason of a failure to comply with the requirements of the law of that place with respect to the form of solemnisation of marriages;

(d) the consent of either of the parties is not a real consent because-

(i) it was obtained by duress or fraud; or

(ii) that party is mistaken as to identity of the other party, or as to the nature of the ceremony performed; or

(iii) that party is mentally incapable of understand- ing the nature of the marriage contract;

(e) either of the parties is not of marriageable age
You said marriage is a contract.. What are the ingredients of a valid contract ? Offer, consideration and acceptance.
back to the scenario.. if a man wishes to marry a woman for the sole purpose of procreation and the woman accepts knowing fully that she cannot bear children. Has a valid contract been executed between them ? your guess is as good as mine. Keep in mind that procreation is the consideration for entering into the contract in the first place.. Cheers

Check 3(d) above the key word is consent. Before you quoted me I had edited my post to explain it better to you. I hope you understand.
************

I get you. But it is illogical to claim fraud or duress . He was in nowhere defrauded or forced to marry her. A marriage is a contract and a promise to marry is an executory contract consisting of the promisor and promisee. The man is the promisor who makes a promise to the promisee and the promisee accepts the promise. How can the promisee then be liable for fraud or duress?

By the the above I mean that it is only the party whose consent was sought that can dissolve the marriage because of fraud. The person who sought the consent cannot alledge fraud.
As far as proposal is done in Nigeria by a man, he cannot claim fraud or duress. Fraud or duress can only be relied upon by the promisee or the party whose consent was sought.
Below a screenshot from your article.