I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

You should know this important rule of life, no 2 situations are ever the same.

Go and smoke weed


then come back and answer that question by yourself

It doesnt mean history would repeat itself. The issue might be personal for her (i was raise by my mum alone. Although she's a widow, i hate talking about my past, too many bitter memories). Might be the same with her. Or its as she said. If she's a good girl, dont hesitate to marry her. All that 'children raised by single parents are bad' rubbish aint true. Infact we grow up with more determination not to make the same mistakes as our parents. Thats why we excel

Give her time bro.

Its difficult to talk about our ugly past.

When she observes that the relationship is moving to the permanent site, and her love for you has skyrocket, she would be feeding you with live updates like CNN!

Don't...no child should be answerable for their parents mistakes or marital issues that led to separation...for me I suspect her father was the jealous type.

it isn't by force ..so let de girl be, if u can't handle wot she already told u...



move on with ur life, make person rest

you want to follow your brother by marrying from a separated home... its not a good idea bro + she can as well separate with you for irreconcilable differences

frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.
When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum
She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no.she also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.
The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other.it beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.
I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.
Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.
Mods.. lalasticlala fp please

..^^^^story

....bro I beg...if u don't wanto smash....Let me smash!!(No ofeense)

Bro it is not easy coming from a broken home. Stop asking stupid questions and decided if you want to move on.

Saintbusco1:
you want to follow your brother by marrying from a separated home... its not a good idea bro + she can as well separate with you for irreconcilable differences

what type of fvcked up mentality is this..
just because her parents are separated it automatically means Same will happen to her..
are you well




OP if you know you don't want to marry the girl better let her go.. before you start using her parents breakup as a yard stick to marry her or not

you cant possibly force someone to do what they are not READY nor WILLING to do....just because thats what you want.
just tell the babe how you feel about it and basta. expecting her to be how YOU desire (aka who she is NOT ) is not only wrong, but can only end miserably.

lol I don’t think you’re ready to get married. The girl has told you the reason but you refuse to believe her, which is on you. What were you expecting to hear? That her mother cheated? Or that the father saw a black pot under his bed, so he kicked her mother out?

She was a toddler when they separated and she can only tell you what the adults in her life told her. If you are going to hold her responsible for something she had no control over, please leave her abeg.

Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.

You do not love her, simple.

LilMissFavvy:
You do not love her, simple.

one can't love and be blind at the same time. I think he's been logical. It's ideal to do all necessary inquiry before tying the knot

frankyskyboi:
Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.

This is a simple sturv. All you have to do is invite the girl's father and her mother to your house or for a dinner so that they can both tell you the two sides of the story.

Korllami007:


This is a simple sturv. All you have to do is invite the girl's father and her mother to your house or a dinner so that they can both tell yhou the two sides of the story.

Good idea

marvin905:

what type of fvcked up mentality is this..
just because her parents are separated it automatically means Same will happen to her..
are you well

OP if you know you don't want to marry the girl better let her go.. before you start using her parents breakup as a yard stick to marry her or not

It's not really a fúcked up mentality...you have to take somebody's family background into consideration when intending to marry, that's just the truth. Your upbringing has an effect on your behaviour and how you deal with issues.

At the same time it may be painful for her so he should still give her some time. And it's awkward to ask your parents such questions because they may feel you are being disrespectful

It's not his fault but then it's not her fault either. He should ease the pressure on her a bit if he really likes her because it's easy to tell somebody to "go and find out". What if the person doesn't want to tell her?

Parents are still human beings, a failed relationship is not something most people would like to talk about

OP, I didn't read your post, but seeing how long it is, abeg just quit. Any girl that makes a man talk too much and write epistles is not worth it. You cannot come and kill yourself. Na date you date, you no kee person

Lol. Op, you're not serious. So, this is your own problem O? Can't you just mind you "Love Business" and let their divorce be? Haha!

Meanwhile, meet award winning super talented beautiful kid actress Angel Onyi Unigwe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1ydZv5zjZg

M

You are not ready for marriage ,stop deceiving yourself .

Stop being an investigative journalist in that poor girls life

Ok

Your last paragraph make sense alot... Actually divorce is not a good thing atall... I can't encourage someone to dive into such kinda stuff.

But I will Like to point out something for you here... Yes, we do believe that one of the child of an armed robber will surely and if not squarely disciplined will take after his or her parents kinda lifestyle.... Marriage is a fOrever thing...My advise to you is this... Keep on pushing...with time, she will give in and the cat would be let outta the bag.

Best wishes bro.

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Hmm... I will not comment.

If truly she doesn’t know, then what her mum did was really bad. Maybe she cheated.
The dad as a wise man is trying to preserve what little dignity that is left of her by not rubbishing her with the child.
Sorry to say, but you will never hear the real story.

She may not genuinely know why her parents divorced and you shouldn't hold that against her.