etiosa97:



Bro which kind of depression would make her keep acting like that. Deep down I do know she's depressed because sometimes she could stay in one position for a long time thinking.. And the cause of thinking is simply because she's broke sometimes or she don't make much profit from her business. But i have given her a lot. A whole lot. Since 2016 when i was just 17 till this year I could have given her 2-3 m.. This is not an exaggeration. I know the amount is quite much considering my age but I've been a hustler for a long time and I just want to change my mom situation but she seems adamant

I can relate with what you're going through especially because you're even still young.I actually believe you've done much for her.
However,you have to make one of two choices; abandon her and move on with your life or help her as long as she lives.

If you choose to help her,then I want you to do it with some planning.Determine what you will give her monthly and stick to it.Let it cover her feeding and other basic needs.
Use the rest of your funds to plan your own life and future.

It's too late waiting for your mom's love.Get love from your hobbies,interests and a few good friends you decide to keep.
I will also recommend your mom visits a psychiatrist if you can arrange that.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Yea if the op swallows bad vibe and eventually off himself, will that be better? His wellbeing should b safe guarded first. What kinda enemy of progress and pulling down is that? Kai! Imagine from 8 yrs old fa.

The Op will overcome.That's why he is here to get some support.

She is his mom and he could decide to abandon her or keep her and help her.He has to make a choice.

etiosa97:



Bro which kind of depression would make her keep acting like that. Deep down I do know she's depressed because sometimes she could stay in one position for a long time thinking.. And the cause of thinking is simply because she's broke sometimes or she don't make much profit from her business. But i have given her a lot. A whole lot. Since 2016 when i was just 17 till this year I could have given her 2-3 m.. This is not an exaggeration. I know the amount is quite much considering my age but I've been a hustler for a long time and I just want to change my mom situation but she seems adamant

God bless your hustle bro..never stop hustling..keep the light on..

etiosa97:
Bro which kind of depression would make her keep acting like that. Deep down I do know she's depressed because sometimes she could stay in one position for a long time thinking.. And the cause of thinking is simply because she's broke sometimes or she don't make much profit from her business. But i have given her a lot. A whole lot. Since 2016 when i was just 17 till this year I could have given her 2-3 m.. This is not an exaggeration. I know the amount is quite much considering my age but I've been a hustler for a long time and I just want to change my mom situation but she seems adamant

Thorpido is right. Be giving her a set amount of money and don't deviate from it. Stop answering her calls all the time, don't be too available for her to abuse you but at the same time don't totally abandon her.

Be unpredictable...she has seen that you are vying for her affection and she is using it against you. If she knows you will always give her more money then what's the use in her watching her spending? The amounts of money you are withdrawing for her are too variable and outrageous

You asked her what happened to the money you gave her and she started laughing...terrible. that is totally unacceptable behaviour..if you don't want to scold her directly then just slowly draw away from her.

As for the depression she may be suffering from it and taking her frustrations out on you which is not fair. You can as well tell her that you won't send her any more money until she agrees to get help

You can also get her to account for her spending in a notebook and tell her that she must write down what she buys (with receipts where possible) otherwise you will reduce or stop the money

And you really don't need to take all those insults of hers. Even the next time she does it you can shout at her not to speak to you like that and cut the call, refuse to answer or send anything for a while..it may make her sober or your siblings may even start to get angry with her when there's no money again

Also it doesn't sound like this issue has ever been confronted...how old are your siblings? You may call a family meeting and table this matter because N2 million cannot get lost just like that and all she can do is laugh...maybe you should get her to sign for money in the future in the presence of one of your family elders so that at least we will know if she doesn't have shame

She's probably not your biological mother. Why not try renting an apartment somewhere out of her reach? That could help save you from all the wahala.

Your mother This is strange. Something is wrong here. Young man save your money and only give her what she needs to survive.

etiosa97:
Hi all
I've been on nairaland since 2012 and I just felt like sharing this today.

I'm sorry to say this but I think I don't like my mom and I feel she don't like me too.
I'm 21 years old and I reside in one of the southern states in Nigeria.
I lost my dad 15 years ago and I was barely 6 years old then... To just go straight to the point I don't think my mom like me. Since I was young she've never liked me or supported me in anyway. She barely attend my end of year parties or any school activities back then. she never bought me cloths or care about my life at all. She never gave me money or support my dreams and whenever I ask her for financial help, she shouts at me and say all manner of evil words towards me. At age 10, I started hustling for my self selling pure water, doing conductor registering sims and pushing wheel barrow just to help my self. Then at 13 I started working as a laborer molding blocks, filling uncomplicated houses, distributing drinks with wheelbarrow just to make ends meet and what ever amount I'm paid monthly or weekly I always make sure I give her a large purportion from it just to support her. I've traveled most states in Nigeria while I was 15 to hustle and whatever profit i make I always give her atleast 70% of it. Fast forward to when I was 18, I was introduced to a new kind of hustle (bitcoin). I started making a good amount of money and I even made my first million then. I gained admission into a federal university over here. I basically paid for my tuition, acceptance fee, books, hostel and all sort of fee and even had to feed my self Single-handedly for the past 3 years with no support or whatever from my family. She never called to ask me how I did it or even prayed for me. The only time she will call me is when she needs money for her self and even whenever I decline giving her the money she will instantly become rude and abruptly hang the phone on my hear.. This is so terrible and so disheartening that sometimes I just feel like drinking sniper and just end it all. I kept on giving her atleast 20k weekly.. This woman never called me one day to check up on me or pray for me. Then it got to a point whereby I told her I don't want her to do her current business again because she always complain about low profit and rheumatism. So I called her and ask her which business she feels like doing and she told me she wants to buy food stuff from the village and sell them over here in the city. I said FINE and I withdrew 300k from my account and I gave her. Note I was still 18 at that time and one of the main reason I gave her that money was so that should could start up a business and get profit to atleast take good care of my younger siblings while I focus on my hustle, school and take care of my self. Then she collected the money, constructed a wooden shade and started the business, bought her self some things( I really don't know what she spent a huge chunk of the money on). It wasn't up to a month when she stopped the new business and then went back to her former business and then she began the habit of asking me money again while I'm in school. I had a hard time concentrating in my studies and my course was brain tasking (medical laboratory science) I still kept on giving her money on a weekly basis . Then again I gave her 250k to start up another business. She squandered the money and she didn't do anything. Asked her what she used the money for and she started laughing a very devilish laugh and said "things for market dey cost anyhow ". She resumed the habit again of asking me money weekly again and I give her all the time and I Got so tired to the point that I was so broke and this woman will never believe me when I say I don't have it. I'm just 18 and my mom is already depending on me like I'm 40 years old. She continued this habit of not checking up on me and asking me for money always till I'm 19,20 and 21 and whenever I don't give her she literally insult me and she don't to me for months . Sometimes I go broke and if she ask me and I don't give her she insults me on the phone and make false accusation that I'm spending all my money on girls. She never ask about my education. She never ask how I manage to survive in school, she never prayed for me or ask me if I'm sick or healthy. All she knows how to do is ask for money and when I don't she insults me and hang up. Damn. From my first year till this very moment, I'm so depressed. I also have other things going on in my life that I always have to take some anti depressants to make me forget my worries and sleep.. I'm just 21 and I'm stressing like I'm above 40. Just yesterday my siblings called me and asked for 2k for church harvest. I gave them and Immidiately, she called me back and requested for some money. I turned her down instantly and she shouted at me and hanged up the phone. This is someone who calls her self my mom and I barely hear from her in months. She never supports me in whatever I do. There was a time in secondary school when someone threw a stone straight to my eyes and it blinded me partially. All I could see was black and white. She never showed no concern or even ginger (atleast the way other mom do na) she never followed me to school. The family of the guy who did it came to my houses and they gave her 1500 naira and that was the end of the case. She bought eye drop of 250 for me and she never bothered asking again. Right till this moment I'm partially blind because I see more clearly and brighter on one eye than my other eye. She has really did me a whole lot and neglected me all my life and did me some things that I can't even remember. I see other people being proud of their mom but deeply in my heart, I know I dislike her and I wish she wasn't my mom. So nairalanders please advise me what to do. I'm so depressed and suicidal all the time. I'm the first son from my mom and I sincerely want the best for my family but my mom is really making life so difficult for me

sorry brother, please I want you to know that if you choose to abandon your mum henceforth to seek for your happiness, you have done nothing wrong in the sight of God and human.Your mum's case is beyond you,she can't give what she doesn't have "love". You need help and she needs help as well.Find your own happiness first before thinking of pleasing her any further. All those saying no mater what don't abandon her ain't putting you into consideration here,don't be brainwashed with that mentality that a child must worship the parent even at the detriment of their own life,you are Gods child first before been their child.your mum has failed God by not loving you and taking care of you since your tender age,God will surely question her on that.Don't be brainwashed bro,God is never biased,both religion has children's rights which most parents don't follow because they believe they are to be worshiped by their children even if all they bring is evil at all times.Please try and quit drugs first,then stand up to that woman and free yourself from her manipulative grip.She's also a narcissist.It is well

Stop giving her money and concentrate on yourself and your siblings. You can't buy her love and maybe you need to stop forcing the love. Be happy with your life and done let her out you in any form of depression. Be happy and make more money, finish school and then face her squarely. Man is not God just know that.

The money u have been giving her May hv been diverted to her boyfriend.

etiosa97:



I appreciate you alot.. I thought i was going to backlashed because we live in a society where parents are always right... Thanks I'll visit dubia next year just to calm my head

Listen Bro, you need to accept this facts

1. Your mum doesn't LOVE you.
2. She doesn't give a tiny sh.it about you
3. You are just a cash cow to her
4. You will never be able to buy her affection even with 5billion.
5. You are going to hurt even kill yourself trying to please her.
6. You don't owe anybody a dime.
7. If you die, they will move and survive.

Africans and their entitlement mentality, smh. See you are just 21, you should not be responsible for anyone, in fact you should be the one collecting, but as it.
Place your siblings on a strict budget that you can afford, do not deviate from this. Send foodstuff to the house once in 2months.

Stay very far away from "home",cos if you are like me, you might not be able to turn your eyes from some responsibilities.

You need to start saving ASAP,as much as you can, because you have no one, when shit hit the fan, you have no one to call. You are all you got,save, save save.

You need your mental health, stay away from drugs, it doesn't help, it will only make thing worse at the end of the day. If you run mad because you of drug abuse, no one will take care of you.

These are cold facts you have to face bro.

etiosa97:


Thanks but these days I think I'm loosing my insanity. My heart tremble each time i think about my family. It's like I'm in a race. Like something is chasing me and I need to keep on making money for my family. I feel i will never be accepted or loved if I eventually go broke... Never thought life would be like this.

Are you an only child?

Why are people saying she is not his biological mum? We want to deceive ourselves yet again, that all mothers are nice and the gfs/wives are the only bad ones?

Please, some mothers are bad.

Lots of Nigerian mothers have this entitlement mentality. They are also very good at emotional blackmail. Add it a very bad character like this and you can't live with them.

For reasons best known to them, the full extent of their attitude shows more in their dealings with the male children. I guess guys are more humane

Give her some space for your own good. You still have a whole lot ahead of you. The time to break free is now, else you will suffer it a lot in future. Your relationship and marriage will suffer it too.

pocohantas:
Why are people saying she is not his biological mum? We want to deceive ourselves yet again, that all mothers are nice and the gfs/wives are the only bad ones?

Please, some mothers are bad.

Lots of Nigerian mothers have this entitlement mentality. They are also very good at emotional blackmail. Add it a very bad character like this and you can't live with them.

For reasons best known to them, the full extent of their attitude shows more in their dealings with the male children. I guess guys are more humane

Give her some space for your own good. You still have a whole lot ahead of you. The time to break free is now, else you will suffer it a lot in future. Your relationship and marriage will suffer it too.

The curse of most wives is that they will also warp into entitled MILs

ornicus:


The curse of most wives is that they will also warp into entitled MILs

Exactly, it is basic metarmophosis o.

mrjojo:
Listen Bro, you need to accept this facts

1. Your mum doesn't LOVE you.
2. She doesn't give a tiny sh.it about you
3. You are just a cash cow to her
4. You will never be able to buy her affection even with 5billion.
5. You are going to hurt even kill yourself trying to please her.
6. You don't owe anybody a dime.
7. If you die, they will move and survive.

Africans and their entitlement mentality, smh. See you are just 21, you should not be responsible for anyone, in fact you should be the one collecting, but as it.
Place your siblings on a strict budget that you can afford, do not deviate from this. Send foodstuff to the house once in 2months.

Stay very far away from "home",cos if you are like me, you might not be able to turn your eyes from some responsibilities.

You need to start saving ASAP,as much as you can, because you have no one, when shit hit the fan, you have no one to call. You are all you got,save, save save.

You need your mental health, stay away from drugs, it doesn't help, it will only make thing worse at the end of the day. If you run mad because you of drug abuse, no one will take care of you.

These are cold facts you have to face bro.

I appreciate a lot. God bless you for this. I'll do everything you've said. I appreciate once more dam

Lamanii22:



Are you an only child?

My dad was polygamous. But I'm the first child from my mom. I have 3 younger siblings

I can totally relate to your situation, my mum straight out told me she hate me the most since I was like 5 years old and she always act. Growing up I have a theory that maybe I've sinned in heaven and am here for the purnishment, that kind of prepared my mind
- I will advice you to stop looking for love where isn't but do what you can for her to the point where it doesn't affect you because mentally and the society won't let you abandon her
- You will need a close/good friend or an intimate relationship for your mental state.
Trust me I know it is hard to believe someone loves you when your own mother don't.

Like someone said up there, you just have to accept the painful truth that your Mother will never love you. Now , you have to be selfish for your own sake. Put her on a strict allowance and sever all communication. Put your siblings on a monthly allowance too but don't let her use them to get to you.

Now concentrate on yourself, thank God you have your own money now, make yourself happy with it. Travel, see the world and get a stable girlfriend. Be intentional about your happiness and just believe that you are an orphan. And please stay away from hard drugs, I believe God has a wonderful plan for your life. It is well with you.