duduade:
How long did you guys date/court before marriage... You must have observed these things in him...


I will advise you also engage his time too.. Plan hangouts for you both... Spice up sex life too at home... I am sure there must be a way to hold him down... Get his whole attention and you still haven't found his mumu button..

nahzyla:


Lmao @ bolded. It's a risky thing actually. That's why married people should hang out with each other and singles vice versa.

nahzyla:


Calm down
I didn't ask her to work herself to a frazzle.

That's why I asked her to engage in hobbies or activities she enjoys doing. Personally I enjoy drawing so even after returning from work I can still draw a few lines on paper before bed and admire my work.
Secondly in an ideal society nothing is wrong with expecting her husband to bond with her but truth is that many nigerian husbands are not romantic and are quite misogynistic so they dont see the value in things like that. It becomes unrealistic when you live in a society where many men look down on showing tenderness or being romantic to their wives. She should keep herself entertained in other ways instead of pining over him.

Acidosis:

Lol. You never see anything oo. You're going to raise HIS kids alone. That's how it works. Also, be prepared to cheat on him. That's the reality. Whether you like it or not, you will cheat.

Jadeobee:
My husband is starting to irritate me. He is always visiting his friends every minute, in a week it’s at least 3-4 times. Sometimes when we’re meant to spend quality time together, he will go to his friends house and spend 6-7 hours and come back at like 12am. If it’s not his friends, then he is on the phone with one family member for hours discussing one issue or the other. Every minute it’s one friend issue or family issue, I’m starting to think this is not normal. After discussing this problem, many times he claims he will try to change and find a balance but it only gets worse. I’m the homely type he is the outgoing type, but he can’t stay in one place. I don’t want to push him away from his people but for goodness sake, must he go to see his friends every minute, I just think it’s unreasonable. One of my friends also complains about the same thing, why are some men like this for crying out loud ?

Jadeobee:
The thing is, he never takes me out on dates. We never do things together but he is so quick to meet up with his friends. I’ve followed him to his friends house very few times and I just don’t enjoy listening to men talk about football and drink beer. Even when they come to our house, it’s the same thing. Sincerely, those are his friends and not mine I shouldn’t have to follow him around like a parrot . It’s like he puts his friends before everything and everyone. I’m sick and tired of him

Jadeobee:
Yeah We’re not enemies we are cordial but we are not best buddies. We are cool. The same way I don’t expect my hubby to be forcefully friends with my friends husbands. That’s not even the issue here, the issue is that he is always out every minute neglecting me

RoyalBlu:



No kids yet, and he's this way?


This is the best time to strengthen your bond.

Make him understand you are his priority, not his friends.

It's well.

sassysure:


@op, u have to shift ground a bit. U don't like movies, u don't like football, what do u like?

My husband loves rap music with passion and Nigerian musicians. I hate these group of people but because of him, I know about davido and wizkid etc.
Phyno, òlamide, American rappers, name them. All of us are nigars (ABI whatever u wanna call them) in this house .

Imagine me, rapping

8 wonders of the world

He too has adjusted to some of the things I like.

KillerBeauty:


Asin eh. I'm a single lady and I leave home for work 5am and cone back home 6pm. I don't even have time for myself not to talk of visiting friends.

So I don't understand how a married man will be hanging out with friends 3-4 times a week and spending 7hrs there.
Is he jobless?
Are his friends jobless?
Where does he find the time to gist about football and drink beer for 7hrs straight 3-4 times a week?

liberalchick:
It is normal.

The honeymoon is over, expectations have to be adjusted. Most women think the man will spend as much time as he did when they were dating, most men think they’re still single.

When ‘see finish’ sets in a marriage doesn’t matter the man’s personality it stings. DH doesn’t drink, he’s introverted and he loves staying indoors. We were under one roof but continents apart. His poison? Computer games and watching the UFC. What I did? I am not a wallower so I stopped hovering and waiting, I sought out my own entertainment, I joined a local Arsenal fan club and watched matches every weekend at the local bar. The unintended happened, we will swap gists about what we did that day, unknowingly, we were creating new materials and we bonded over each other’s experiences. Over-time he started coming with me to watch matches and I started watching the UFC.

It never ends though, someone will always feel neglected. The pendulum swung back to me when the kids came. Also life happened, priorities change etc he outgrew his love for computer games (I now use the PS3 to watch old dvd movies/series), he has made friends at my Arsenal fan club (he’s a ManU fan) and we both watch the UFC.

bukatyne:


Na wa for you.

He takes you to his friends place, you don't like their discussions. Should they discuss what you like?

Doesn't these friends have wives? Don't you have a common thing to discuss or worse case, entertain your husbands together.

crackhaus:

She probably only likes to cuddle, have sex, and listen to him whisper sweet nothings into her ears from morning till night.
She has no interests, has nothing to talk about, and is also a complainer.

The man even suggested they stay home to watch movies together, but aunty nagged him back to his friends place again.

Such a bore.

bukatyne:


I think OP is exaggerating.

7hrs hours 4 times a week?

That is like 4pm - 11pm 4times a week.

sassysure:


Don't call her that. She don't know. And they are new in marriage. U are a guy so help her out here.

We fantasize na
After reading all these romantic novels

crackhaus:

She should keep reading the romantic novels to kill time

fatymore:
My situation right now, since we ain't married let me just move on...

Sundays we are meant to see, that's when I would receive his message apologising he needs to hang out with his friends.
..I am just fed up.

Baldwretch:


Fatima, you signature though. Lmao!!!!

sassysure:


I think she is very insecure.
Even if she dont want to contribute to what they arr discussing, she should carry crochet and follow him.
As they are gusting about football, she should be crocheting na
Chuk mouth one or two times. Another day they will come to her house. Like that, she will appeal to his emotions and when he win those guys, her man will be so proud of her and all these will reduce.

Most times we don't know how to give in order to receive back. Guy is not domesticated. Most guys are not.
But how u handle your guy will determine if he will come closer or continue to run away from you.

sassysure:

Gerarahia jòr

theButterfly:
Lmao @ carry crochet and follow him. I always chuckle when I read your posts. You're too funny.

ornicus:
Can you guys try a movie night? Some movies you both like. Download and watch on the tv. They must be movies that appeal or can appeal to both of you.

Some of my happier memories are me and the missus watching Gran Torino , mad max fury road .

That’s something you can try and do together.

Spice it up with some pizza. You can also try the Netflix and chill route and end up knacking.

Unfortunately in these parts most of us do not really consider compatiblity when dating. Or maybe it doesn’t really exist. If you decide to wait for some chick that ticks all the boxes and also likes video games or adult swim or is a free thinker or is into football, you will just grow old. So you find one that is wife material and go with it.

pocohantas:


Aunty, forget the things guys here say. They will definitely support their own.

He knew you were an introvert and married you like that. It was a very intentional move as they are believed to be more homely. Your husband's actions are irresponsible. EOD

The part in red caught my attention. I have said it once here and I will say it again. Any grown man that keeps saying these words, run from them- they are ALWAYS bad news in serious relationships. They behave like bots running on some codes.

Tip: Next time you wanna open a thread like this, open it as a male. You will get TRUTHFUL responses from his fellow men.

liberalchick:
It is normal.

The honeymoon is over, expectations have to be adjusted. Most women think the man will spend as much time as he did when they were dating, most men think they’re still single.

When ‘see finish’ sets in a marriage doesn’t matter the man’s personality it stings. DH doesn’t drink, he’s introverted and he loves staying indoors. We were under one roof but continents apart. His poison? Video games and watching the UFC. What I did? I am not a wallower so I stopped hovering and waiting, I sought out my own entertainment, I joined a local Arsenal fan club and watched matches every weekend at the local bar. The unintended happened, we will swap gists about what we did that day, unknowingly, we were creating new materials and we bonded over each other’s experiences. Over-time he started coming with me to watch matches and I started watching the UFC.

It never ends though, someone will always feel neglected. The pendulum swung back to me when the kids came. Also life happened, priorities change etc he outgrew his love for computer games (I now use the PS3 to watch old dvd movies/series), he has made friends at my Arsenal fan club (he’s a ManU fan) and we both watch the UFC.

sassysure:


@op, u have to shift ground a bit. U don't like movies, u don't like football, what do u like?

My husband loves rap music with passion and Nigerian musicians. I hate these group of people but because of him, I know about davido and wizkid etc.
Phyno, òlamide, American rappers, name them. All of us are nigars (ABI whatever u wanna call them) in this house .

Imagine me, rapping

8 wonders of the world

He too has adjusted to some of the things I like.

crackhaus:

If not that you're such a beautiful ladybug with a pair of sensual baby brown eyes like my ex, I for tear you one strong slap from here.

Nonsense & attractive.

UyaiIncomparabl:


But I just said the truth. You're a joker. How you men fail to dish out advice without being lopsided is what never ceases to amaze me.