Hello everyone! Let us forget introduction. Do not care much about who I am. Rather care about the message that I seek to share with you. And this one is generally for everyone regardless of gender but especially for the men. So anyone can read. In a world where we have heard different stories of how many men feel into the traps of unworthy or evil women and men are confused as to the steps to be taken to getting married to a perfect woman, I decided to share my opinion with the little knowledge and wisdom I possess on how to find the perfect woman to marry. But before we start, I would like to state the following point:

- First, I would like to stress that I am not a marriage counselor. I am just a crazy guy who has been gifted with very little wisdom to deliberate on marriage matters. So adjust your expectations. But I believe or should I say I am positive that this will be worth your while.

- Secondly, this is not a short write-up. It is relatively long. Yes, around seven thousand (7000) words. So prepare your mind for what you are going to read. Remember, I said it is a course. So shrug off whatever laziness to read that you have in you and prepare to read this piece till the end if you want to grasp the messages in it.

- Then thirdly, I wrote this for Nairaland. (And you are still looking at me, you cannot clap abi?)

So having understood the above, sharmoun (come on) and let us get started.

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First of all, I wish to stress that the message “how to get the perfect woman” is for those who are serious about marriage. If you just want to be having a fling or fun with girls in the name of relationship, this is not for you.

But wait, in the first place, you are not seeking a serious relationship. Then why should you care whether the woman is perfect or not when all you are looking for is pussy? Will you get out of here?

But for those who are serious about marriage, let us continue.

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Let me start by disappointing you by affirming that there’s no perfect woman specifically just as there’s no perfect human being generally if what is understood by perfect is being good in all ramifications and having no flaws. The fashion in which human being has been created proves the fact that humans aren’t perfect as we have been created in a way that makes us vulnerable to being influenced to do evil or wrong things. The heart of man is vulnerable for as it can be influenced to believe in good so also can it be influenced to believe in evil. And the body of man is vulnerable for as it can be kept in a state of well-being so can it also be made to feel pain. The fact that we humans have the ability to be influenced to do evil alone is a FLAW on its own unlike God whom no one can influence or does not have the natural inclination to do evil; for that is PERFECTION! So no woman is perfect just as there is no perfect man and we shall all have our shortcomings.

But the above words do not necessarily imply that you cannot find a woman that’s generally good i.e. whose goodness surpasses her bad sides and that you should settle for less. Generally, we human beings were created to be good and perform righteousness and to try as much as possible to overcome our whims and inclinations to do evil. This is the reason why God continually sent Prophets upon the face of the earth to guide people to good and this is the reason why He has given us the ability to reason and distinguish what’s right from wrong. So the default status of we humans is that we are expected and generally wired to do good deeds which we know will be beneficial for us and avoid doing bad things which we know will be harmful to us and no matter how many people drift away from this path, there will always be people who will remain upon it. This is something that has manifested in past generations and will continue to manifest until God wills otherwise. So, there may be numerous bad women out there but believe me, you can still find women who are generally good.

Once the above messages are understood, then let us move on the next step.

If you want to find a good woman, there must be something that you must consider and ensure you have taken care of and that can be expressed in a simple question.

What kind of person are you?

Before seeking for a good woman or complaining that you cannot find a good woman, have you ever wondered what kind of person you are and tried to correct yourself in the areas where you fail? Are you a good person yourself? Will you make a good husband to your wife, a good father to your children and a good in-law to your wife’s family? The reason why this should be determined is due to various factors amongst which will be mentioned below:

1. Just as a good wife is essential to making a good marriage and a good home, a good husband is also essential to making a good marriage and a good home. And just as you are seeking to marry a good woman and have a successful marriage, the good woman you are seeking is also looking forward to marrying a good man and build a successful marriage. So it is something that falls on both sides of which one cannot be complete without the other. So if you yourself are not good and you eventually find a good woman, you are going to lose her because she will not settle for you. So for you to find a good woman, you yourself must also be a good man to balance the equation.

2. Another reason is because normally, the kind of person you are (your character, your level of expertise and knowledge, your inclinations, your ambitions, your physical traits e.t.c) will determine the kind of person that you attract to yourself and you get along with. It is something well known that the people who get along with themselves easily or successfully are those who have things in common. There is even a proverb that says “Birds of a feather flock together”. So based on this fact, in most cases (if not all cases), it is only if you are good that you will attract good people to you or you will get along with good people. So if you want a good woman, if you want to be attractive to a good woman and if you want to flow or get along with a good woman (after you have met), then you must have something in common with her which is goodness! You must also be good!

3. Thirdly, have you ever heard of anything called Karma?! Yes, it is real! Indeed, basically, for every action performed or perpetrated in this world, there is a reward or repercussion and one shall reap it either in this life or in the next life or both. Yes, it may be delayed in this world but it will surely be reaped in the hereafter. This is the basic rule. This is another factor you must consider. So considering the kind of person you are and the kind of deeds you have done, the reward or repercussion might just come to you in the form of the person that you are going to marry. If you have been good especially if you have always treated women good, then your reward may come to you in the form of a very good wife. And conversely, if you have been bad especially if you have always treated women bad, then your repercussion might just come to you in the form of an evil wife. So be good and do good today my brother so that good can follow you tomorrow.

So the above three reasons are some of the reasons why you must work on yourself to ensure that you are also a perfect model of a generally good man who will complement the goodness of the good woman you are seeking, to build a good and successful marriage. So assess yourself, observe all your flaws and try as much as possible to correct them.

Having understood and achieved the above, then let us move to the next step.

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FINDING THE WOMAN

Now, it is time to deliberate on finding that woman; that good woman that you seek. To achieve that, there are some things that I opine that you put in consideration or achieve and they are:

1. Involve your Lord and pray to Him for guidance: Do you know that marriage is something that God will be pleased that a human being achieves because it is something that leads to achieving one of His wishes on earth which is for human beings to multiply? And do you know that for that same reason, God has decreed it as a purpose or goal of the existence of generally all of mankind to establish the institution of marriage? Do you know that marriage was the way of most of the righteous Prophets that God sent on the face of the earth? The point I am driving at with all these questions is that marriage is a virtuous thing and God loves it when a human seeks to achieve it. So if you seek out the help of God with all sincerity in finding a good woman, He shall answer to your request and you shall receive the help that you seek God willing because what you want to embark on is something that pleases God. So this is very important for humans have been limited in their sight and reasoning and lack the ability to look very deep into matters but God is far above all limitations and He sees what we do not see. Hence, it is very important that you ask Him to guide you through.

2. Secondly, seek them in the right or appropriate places: It is something that is well known that the kind of person someone is will reflect in his actions and one of the actions to discern the kind of person someone is, is the places that person goes to and the purposes the person seeks to achieve in those places. So if you are looking for a good wife, make sure you observe the kind of environment you found her and if possible, try to discern what her purpose was or what she was doing in that area. Seek your wife in the right places. You met a lady in the club and you happened to know she came along with a convoy of her friends, both male and female and you could see the kind of very skimpy clothes that she wore and the fifth bottle of whisky in her hand, and you witnessed how she got drunk whilst dancing shamelessly in the midst of her friends, and just because you were drawn to her beauty, you asked her out and she agreed. Eventually, she caused you problems of different sorts and you begin to complain about how women are HOES. Brother, where and in what situation did you meet her in the first place?! So make sure you seek her in the right or appropriate places.

Although, this doesn't do it totally and doesn't end well always. You may find a girl in church and she will still be wayward or even the "community property" type. So it definitely doesn't stop there after finding a girl in the appropriate place rather you must work to unravel whatever mystery she is hiding inside.

Having understood the above, you have found a girl of which you are very positive about her personage and the kind of person she is, then let us move on to the next step.

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GETTING TO KNOW WHO SHE IS OR THE KIND OF PERSON THAT SHE IS

Before we get into that, I would like to point out that the process that I am going to propose or opine on getting to know who she is strenuous, or at least somewhat strenuous. And I know because of that, some of you men may want to be lackadaisical about it or may not be willing to exert the required effort to go through such process. But I would like to point your attention to something that may inspire you to put such attitude aside.

I want you to understand that what you are seeking to establish with the woman you are looking for is something called marriage; something that is complex, requires a quite reasonable level of physical and mental health and efforts and something that is a life-long commitment. I also want you to understand that your marriage and the people involved in it will play their part in determining or influencing how your life goes in the future or from the point that you step into it. If your home and marriage is sweet and healthy, then your life will be sweet and healthy (at least, to the point of degree at which they influence your life) and if the reverse is the case, then the reverse will be the case for your life too (at least, to the point of degree at which they influence it as stated earlier).

And I want you to understand that the wife is an integral part of the marriage and she plays a major part in determining the sweetness and health of the marriage. Remember, as they say, “it takes two to tango”. And there is also the possibility that who she is as a person and how she thinks and acts can influence who you yourself, being her husband, will be as a person and how you will think and act. Remember she will be your friend and companion and it is a well known fact that friends and companions do have an influence on the kind of person someone is. Also remember that who she is as a person and how she thinks and acts can have an influence on the kind of kids you will raise. Remember that generally or mostly, kids spend more time, especially during their early ages, with their mother than they do with their father.

So it is something very important that you try as much as possible to ensure you are very positive about the kind of person your desired woman is before you marry her. That good woman you seek is a goal!

So having understood the above, then let us move on to the next step.

At this stage, if you have found a girl that you desire, you are either one of three people to her now. Its either you are now just friends, OR you are acquaintances or she doesn’t even really know you OR you have asked her out already. Whichever one of the three that you are now, let’s continue.

But if you have already asked her out, you are too forward! In fact, I should slap you! O man be! (you are too forward). Have I asked you to ask her out yet? Follow my lead okay? Very good. If you have asked her out already, don’t worry, let us continue.

The next stage now is to study her. Yes, you study her. Don’t you study mathematics first before you become a mathematician? Don’t you study psychology before you become a psychologist? And same applies here. You study a woman before you become a womanizer, sorry I mean before you become her husband!

So try to find answers to the following questions and even more that I may not mention.

- Who is she? (Name, age e.t.c.) The ones that are not necessary, leave them aside.

- What does she do; a student or working? If she’s schooling, where does she school and what is she studying? Why should this be considered? It’s simply because you can find out if she is not interested in something or into something which you will not like your wife doing. For example, you may be someone that likes sex a lot (baba oo! Mr. I love pussy and your wife may be studying medicine and surgery. She may not have your time or time to be having sex twice a day. Do you now get the point?. If she is working, what kind of work and where is she working? (This is for a similar reason as explained for schooling).

- What family did she emanate from? Are they well known? What do people know about her family and what are people saying about her family? In what environment was she brought up? What is the popular history and what are the impressions that people who know about that environment have about it? What are they popular or notorious for doing in that environment especially their girls since we are dealing with a woman here? Who are her friends and associates? Who are the people she gets along with? (The reason why all these are important is because they all play their part in defining or influencing the character of person and how the person acts and thinks.)

- Then, what are the people who know her personally saying about her and what impression do people have about the particular girl? To discern this, you must apply wisdom so you will not be fed with wrong information about her or engaging in things that are not necessary and may be stupid like you going around to ask everyone in her neighbourhood what they feel about her (you don’t mean it ) or you choosing to start living somewhere in her area and observing 24/7 if some people’s comment about her will fall on your ears without attending to work or some other important things in your life. (bobo yen go gan) (You know that’s somewhat stupid right? Good boy!)

So to achieve the above aim, you MAY try going old school and believe me, it is one of the best of ways. This is what some old civilizations or tribes of earlier generations including in Nigeria used to do coupled with all what has been explained above and that’s one of the reasons why, if you observe, their marriages lasted more than marriages do nowadays.

And how is it done? (open ya ear make you listen now). You look for a few elderly people of good reputation in the area where she is living and you inquire from them what they know about her. Remember I said, just a few people, preferably involving both genders (elderly man and elderly woman). And also remember I said people of good reputation so they will not feed you with wrong information and cover up for you how bad she actually is simply because they themselves are just like her. Then ensure that you do this secretly. Ensure it is between you and these elderly people so that it doesn’t fall on the ears of people who may be skeptical about your aim or may not understand it and will be thinking negatively about it or people that will go and tell her (awon olofofo! ).

So approach such people, greet them and ask that you would like to see them. Make sure you have gifts or cash with you. This is not to bribe them rather it is to pose to them your seriousness in what you are asking and that you are a person of good character because in some customs, it will be considered disrespectful of you to make those elders spend their time and efforts in giving you such information and you will not compensate them for it. So make sure you have something with you. Explain to them your aim to marry so and so girl and tell them you do not wish to make a mistake through her and you seek to experience the sweetness of marriage through her and ask them what they feel about her. If you can do these, those elders will see the seriousness, upright character and mature thinking in you and believe me, they will be very much willing to help you God willing. So through them, through the information they will give to you, you can get to know what people generally feel about her. If you are shy to do it alone, you can take a friend or family member who you know is very outspoken along. And also ensure you plead with them not to let her or anyone know that you came asking about her.

So that is one way by which you can discern the impression that the people who know her have about her. So if they give you favourable review and reply, then we can proceed to the next level.

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ASK HER OUT

And the next level is the point where you now ask her out or toast her (as they say). For you that have already asked her out, this is where we meet and are now balanced. But still, you were too forward and I should slap you! But you are forgiven.

Now, asking her out may be divided into two: directly or indirectly. There are some men who, because they are shy or do not have the balls to approach and tell a lady their mind, they then give up on the lady thinking that is the only way. (Dopemu number one ni bobo yen ) NO! You can still tell her your mind indirectly.

Directly is simply walking up to the lady and telling her your mind, whether you are already friends or just acquaintances. And that’s what I personally would do as the Oshomo that I am. I have not time for sh!t. If I like you, I walk up to you and tell you. In the end, the worst you can do is to say No and life goes on! You cannot slap me. I repeat, you cannot slap me! Abi so fe ku ni? Do you want to die?

But if you know you don’t have such balls, you can either write a letter (that is a somewhat old fashioned, but it still in it) or if you have her number, express yourself on Whatsapp (or any other suitable social media platform). That way you will not be afraid of her face and her bodily or physical reaction, would you? Or you can walk up to any of her friends or your own friends and ask them to help you to tell her. You can as well give them something to show some courtesy and make them motivated to carry out the task. That might not be necessary if it is your own friend. But if you want to go through her own friends, especially her female friends, try to do that. (give yourself brain )

Or just ask the girl out in any way you feel like is suitable. The goal is: ASK HER OUT.

Having understood the above and you have asked her out (toasted her) and she accepted, let us move on to the next step.

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Now, please note that it doesn’t end there after you ask her out. Rather, that is the beginning of another phase of serious work to be done. You are going to go through another phase of study. Some of the information you have gathered before about her are details that you got from other people. Now is the time to observe and study her yourself; now that you have the chance to get closer to her.

Now, what you are targeting or seeking to know in this phase of study is majorly divided into two:

1. Knowing or discovering if she is serious about you.
2. Knowing or discovering the kind of person that she is.

The above two divisions are further divided. The first one i.e. knowing or discovering if she is serious about you is divided into two:

1. Knowing if she is into you or she loves you: Even though love alone is not what keeps a marriage and makes it strong till the end, it cannot be downgraded or thought of as insignificant. Of course, love between both parties in a marriage is important. It is essential that the couples feel a connection with each other in their hearts and they both find something of which pleases their heart in the other partner. Having this feeling in one’s heart goes a long way in making one attached to his partner and if a spouse can find his or her desired qualities of which he or she loves in the other partner, it can go a long way in making them detached to anyone else or make it easy for them to discipline themselves from seeking the affection or attention of someone else besides their spouse. Love is also important because it makes the spouses get along with each other well in their marital activities and home for if they dislike each other or if one partner dislikes another, he or she may find it difficult to get along with the other partner and perform marital acts with him such as sex. So love cannot be downgraded.

2. Knowing if she is serious about the relationship and she wants it to end where you want it to end (which is marriage). Yeah, this should also be discerned and number 1 is not enough. Indeed, a woman may like you but may not be interested in marriage. And since that is what you are looking for, it is essential to discern if you can get it from the other party with whom you seek to establish the desired marriage.

Then as for knowing the kind of person that she is, that is divided into three:

1. Her spiritual life/virtuousness: Yes, this is important for various reasons. A home that is lacking devotion to the Supreme Being is prone to the manipulations of the devil and since your wife is one of the major components that makes up a home, it is essential that she has the potential and tendency to establish the required devotion to God in your home. Another reason why this is important is because her level of religious commitment will go a long way in influencing the manner in which she plays her part as a wife in the house. Isn’t it the one who believes that God hates fornication and detests such act that will be less inclined to do it? Is it not the one that understands the position and authority that God has given unto the husband in the marriage and the reward of the woman who obeys her husband that will be more inclined to be submissive to the husband? Is it not the one the understands that God has enjoined good companionship and has forbade bad companionship that will be more inclined to keeping good friends and doing away with evil people? The point here is the level of religious commitment influences the behavior and character in the wife, therefore, it is essential that you take note of this.

2. Her character and behavior: The importance of this is well known and should not be overly stressed. The character and behavior of the wife will influence how much of a good wife she will make. Therefore, it is very important.

3. Her level of education and exposure, ambition and general knowledge: This is also important. For one of the things that influence the actions of humans generally is how much of knowledge or ignorance is possessed in the mind. A woman’s level of education and exposure will define or influence what she does and the style with which she does it and if it is not fine by the husband’s standards, there will likely be quarrels in the house. Her ambitions are also important because it should not clash with yours or so as to avoid a situation where both of you will have to choose which person’s plans will have to bend for the other so that the marriage can keep going and then there will be series of arguments or disagreements concerning whose plans should bend for the other. Some people have their marriage hit the rocks because of this, simply because the respective plans that each party has for himself or herself, if they were to stick to it, it would clash with the other or it will make it difficult for both of them to satisfy the needs of the other. So this is also important.

However, a man should be relatively lenient when assessing the lady on the above three grounds and should not aim for perfection or that the lady or the kind of person she is would satisfy his expectations 100 percent. Rather, he should weigh the pros and cons and if her finds out that her merits surpasses her demerits especially if the demerits are things that can be taken care of or he can put up with then he should carry on.

So having understood the above, let us move on to the next step.

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Now, here are the steps to engage in this field of study.

- COMMUNICATION

To achieve knowing the kind of person a lady is, you should engage her in regular communication. A person’s character reflects in the way a person talks, isn’t it? Therefore, the wisdom behind this should not be overly stressed.

Note: It is true there are women (and even men) who are experts in hiding their true colour and character and I also want you to know that employing all the measures shared in this write up doesn’t totally guarantee that you can get accurate answers concerning who she is. But, doing all of these will go a very long way in discerning who she is and making it difficult for her to hide anything if they are done perfectly. And there is also a saying that “character is like smoke”, which implies that no matter how much you try to cover or hide it, it will always find a way to sneak out into the open. So if the process is given due time and performed “professionally”, there are very high chances that you can get her.

So during the conversations or communication, watch out for or observe all these things:

- How much of commitment does she show in the communication? Does she love or appear to love communicating with you? Does she converse with you frequently? Does she at times, initiate the communication instead of always waiting for you to communicate?

- Does she tell you about herself? Does she tell you about her life; about really personal details about her life that someone would ordinarily refuse to share with just anyone? Does she gist you about some interesting experiences in her daily life? Whenever she is happy, does she tell you and also tell you what is giving her joy? Whenever she is sad or troubled, does she share the experiences with you and even ask for your advice?

- While you guys are communicating, can you perceive she is having fun and flowing with it or what you can perceive from her is acting cold or like she is bored or not into the conversation? Does she hardly or never gets tired of talking to you; does she extend her conversations even till midnight when she should be sleeping?

- Does she even tell you trivial or frivolous matters about herself or her life like what she has eaten or what she is planning to eat that day, the cloth she is wearing, where she wishes to be at some point in time that day and who she is going out with?

- Does she even go to the extent of telling you about a guy that asked her out and her response to him (how she rejected him) and even further shows you their chat and you both joke or laugh about it?

- Does she also go to the extent of calling you “my husband” instead of my boyfriend?

If a girl can be telling you all the above things or showing positive signs concerning all the above points, then there are high chances that she is into you, that she loves you and feel a deep connection with you. Ordinarily, girls are creatures who have this natural inclination to be proud (igberaga ti poju! Too much pride! All because they have fine face, boobies, booty and that small thing they call pussy. Oga oo! ) and they would never share all these details or spend their precious time conversing in such manner of dedication with someone who they consider doesn’t worth it i.e. someone they do not love; not even their MAGA or Sugar Daddies in some cases, if not all cases. (A MAGA is a guy that a girl deceives into thinking she loves him but she is actually after his money and is collecting money from him in exchange for “fake love”). So those are some of the things you watch out for in your communication and interactions with her to discern if she is into you or loves you.

Then, to discern if she is serious about you and wishes that the relationship will lead to marriage, these are some of the things you watch out for:

Whenever she talks about her future or future plans, does she include you in the picture? Does she even go to the extent of making use of the words “After we wed,” or “On the day we wed,” e.t.c.? Does she mention how she is going to feel on the day you finally wed her? Does she tell you about how many children she wishes to have and what you feel about it or the names that she wishes her children will bear and how you feel about it? Does she call you ‘my husband” as stated earlier?

If she can be including you in the picture of her future plans and she can be talking about all these matters with you, then it most likely if not definitely means that she looks forward to a future with you and marrying you.

So those are some of the things you observe to discern her seriousness about the relationship and whether she is looking forward to marrying you.

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Then about you knowing the kind of person that she is, try to watch out or observe the following (amongst other important things I may not mention):

Do you message her and it takes long before she replies or she has been already communicating with you and suddenly, it seems that something else has taken her attention and when you ask her about it, she cannot find a reasonable thing to tell you?

Do her words seem contradictory many times in such a way that makes you suspicious that she is lying?

In what manner does she speak with you and how does she speak about other people? How does she express her concerns to you? Can you perceive arrogance, ego or rudeness in her speech or conversation with you whether in how she is speaking to you or how she is telling you about someone else? What values, character or qualities can you perceive from the way she talks? And whenever she tells you of an event or experience that concerns others, how does she describe the matter and how does she talk about the other people involved? An example is, she goes to a supermarket to buy something and she was delayed because they had no change and she had to wait for like 10 minutes before she was given change. And the person who attended to her was quite an aged or elderly person. And when she wanted to narrate the incident to you, she went like “And that moronic old fool just delayed me for 10 minutes doing nothing”. Imagine such words! If she can regard anyone let alone an elderly man like that or in that manner simply because she was delayed because of change, then she is most likely arrogant and rude.” These are the things that you watch out for to discern her character and manners. And also whenever she narrates a disagreement she has been involved in to you and how it happened, try to watch out for what part she played in stirring up the disagreement and how she was at fault. This are the things you should pay attention to.

What level of education, exposure, general knowledge and maturity reflects in the way she speaks with you and express her matters with you? Is it fine by your standards?

Then very importantly, how much does she ask you for money?! This is important because apart from the fact that it will tell a lot about how much she loves money, it will also go a long way to let you discern if all her approaches to you that suggests that she is into you are actually done out of genuine love and interest in you or to be milking you and getting money from you.

So how much does she ask for money?

If she doesn’t ask for money at all, but she shows positive signs concerning the above stated areas to observe, then she is most likely or even definitely genuinely in love with you and serious about you.

If her asking for money is reasonable and she proves that she needs it for something reasonable and necessary especially when she cannot get it from somewhere else, then this should be regarded as a “normal level”. A level that exists between husband and wife, between father and children, between brothers and sisters, between a man and his friends and so on, when a person would need the help of another person. So there is no problem necessarily.

But if she is the type that asks incessantly, then those approaches are questionable especially if she is the type that will refuse to talk to you unless you give her what she wants. So beware of such a lady!

So to round up, under communication, engage with her regularly in communication and observe or watch out for the above stated points and even more.

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Then secondly, after communication, we have:

SPENDING TIME WITH HER: This involves visiting her, receiving her in your own house, taking her out e.t.c.

NOTE: Please, I would like to advise you something. While you are doing all of these studies and taking all these measures, make sure you do not let her notice or get suspicious. One reason is so that she will not try to hide something from you especially if she has not been paying attention to it earlier. Another reason is, so that she wouldn’t feel hurt that you do not trust her after all the love she has shown you especially if she is the good girl. So whatever you think may cause her to be suspicious in the given measures and others, try to avoid it and only do it at the right time when it will be fine or don’t do it at all if it is not so necessary.

And another thing to note is that, you must be open minded. Open your mind and use your sense! Don’t let her beauty or whatever she has on her front and back cloud your reasoning. Open your eyes and mind and use your sense in your judgement.

Now, this is another opportunity (while spending time with her) to apply more measures to study her. And the following are some of the things you should watch out for or observe:

- When you got to her residence, how does it look like? How does what you see about her residence tell you about how much she pays attention to health and proper hygiene? Is there anything about her residence generally that puts you off? And what are the things she has in her room that can point to the kind person she is? Do you see books, computers, e.t.c? Or do you see something like Love Machine , vibrator , or even a very big and wet CUCUMBER lying on her fridge or even maybe tuber of yam ? Just observe my brother. Observe!

- Who are the people that came to knock on her door and sought to see her and what matters did she have with them?

- Who are her friends? What kind of friends does she keep? And does she have any male friends? If she does, does she or has she ever told you about them just like does tell you about her female friends? And how close are they (she and her male friends)? (Beware of ladies that have male besties. I am not saying that alone should disqualify her. But beware of them. “He is my bestie! I said he is my just my bestie!” That’s how they will say until the bestie connects his follow-come charger in their charging port. So beware!)

- Her neighbours; how does she relate with them and how do they relate with her?

- Let her take you on a walk around her neighborhood or the whole street and while on this experience, try to observe how people are relating with her and how she is relating with people. At least, if she can bribe or influence her friends, she cannot bribe or influence the whole neighborhood now.

- Also, observe if she is quick or if she freely introduces you to whoever cares to know as her lover or even “husband”, whether to friends, neighbors e.t.c especially when they ask. If she can do that, then she seems to be having nothing to hide.

- Then while you are together, observe how much she is into you and how she feels concerning the fact that you are around her. Is she happy and cheerful the whole time or she is acting cold or indifferent? How much of attention and affection is she showing you? Does she play and joke with you and love to play and joke with you until you get tired? Or was she restless the whole time like she is having something to hide? Does it seems like she is pushing you away or wants you to go or she seems to want you around and doesn’t like you to leave?

- Then out of all those neighbors and people in her neighbourhood who she relates with, watch out for those she seems to be closest to and try to study the kind of person those people are and what constitutes her conversations or interactions with them. THOSE ARE HER ADVISERS AND INFLUENCERS. And remember that, as they say, “birds of a feather flock together”. So watch out for such people.

- Try giving her surprise visits sometimes but ensure that she is home and ready to receive you by the time you come.

VERY IMPORTANT RULE: During these times you are spending with her, DON’T FVCK HER! I REPEAT, DON’T HAVE SEX WITH HER.

Wait a minute, on a more serious note, you have not paid dowry and you want to shook? You want to do her shuku shuku? Are you mad? Are you sure you are normal? As in, are you sure you are using your medications? Will you come on, keep that member locked up in your pants until after you have paid your dues?! Very good! In fact, if not for God, I would have prayed that if you ever try to smash her after already applying all what I shared in this write up, it is thunder that will locate your pen!s and dry it up. If you have applied all what I have said earlier, you must apply this one too!

Besides, you not rushing to have sex with her will go a long way to convince her about your seriousness and how much you genuinely want her and not seeking to just eat from her “cake”.

So after taking all these measures and completing all the studies in these given phases and you are positive or satisfied with all what you have garnered or discovered so far about her, then let us head to the next step.

*******************************************************

LET YOUR PARENTS MEET HER, AND IF POSSIBLE, SOME OF YOUR ELDERS IN YOUR FAMILY.

Let her visit you at your parents’ residence so they can meet her. Let your parents know her and more importantly, let your parents use their elderly wisdom and experience to study and assess her. You should tell that to your parents before she arrives. This is also to ensure that your parents have no problem with her and are fine with your choice of woman.

Then if possible, let her visit you or take her to see one or more of the elders in your family. Attention should be paid to customs concerning this. This should be done especially in a place where it is customary that the man must bring his choice of woman to see the elders so they can get familiar with her and assess her before he proposes marriage. The elder could be your uncle, aunt or even the head of the entire family.

Aside that, you should also try to know her own family and preferably, you should visit her or let her take you to the residence of her own parents too. Let them know you and you should also know them and the kind of person they are. And ensure that they do not just know you but are fine with you being their daughter’s choice of man.

So once all of the above measures are taken, and everything is fine and you are satisfied with this lady as your wife and her family as your in-laws, and you are very positive she will make a good wife, THEN GO AHEAD AND PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO HER!

Do I need to tell you to invite me to the wedding so I can come enjoy from the feast? It is like you want thunder to fire you? After exerting all efforts to school you along that path, you don’t consider me worthy of someone you can invite? I should even be on the high table self! Nonsense !

So that is all I have to share on this topic. I hope that it is interesting and beneficial and that people who read it will benefit from it. And I pray that every good man out there should find a good woman. And every bad man out there should change for good and find a good woman too. May God help us all.

You are free to share this anywhere and you are not obliged to mention my name or give me credits. But just like I said earlier, I wrote this for Nairaland, so be sure to give Nairaland the credit.

Oya clap me if you don’t want thunder to fire you!!!

Lalasticala Seun dominique Rocktation farano If this post is worthy, let it possess the power of Thor kindly push it to front page.

Mr. Oladimeji Rufai, r u crazy??!!

••midified**
Ok, u finally put up the write-up.
Not bad.

BTW, all evidence from reality indicate that your 3rd point is wrong - Karma does not operate in the real world. We only WISH it operates but just because most of us wish something does not make it so:

1) let’s start from nature: Lions violently and painfully kill innocent animals all day long yet no one ever kills them - most die peacefully in their sleep.

2) Most kings are kings today because of atrocities and subjugation of others perpetrated by their ancestors.

3) In almost all societies, groups that were taken advantage of and oppressed in the past are still at the bottom today - from America to India to U.K.

4) From Rockefeller to the Rothschilds to the Kennedys, families with ill-gotten wealth have passed it on, from generation to generation and have stayed stupendously wealth.

5) Many dictators and killers live out their lives peacefully from Amin to Stalin to Rawlings

6) As directly relates to your post - nasty guys, and drug dealers, and cultists, and yahoo boys end up with the decent girls. Your assertion that good guys end up with the good girls is not borne out by reality: “nice guys finish last” is closer to what obtains in real life.

Mind you I am only pointing out how things are, not that I don’t wish it were not so

CanadaOrBust:
Mr. Oladimeji Rufai, r u crazy??!!

••midified**
Ok, u finally put up the write-up.
Not bad.

BTW, all evidence from reality indicate that your 3rd point is wrong - Karma does not operate in the real world. We only WISH it operates but just because most of us wish something does not make it so:

1) let’s start from nature: Lions violently and painfully kill innocent animals all day long yet no one ever kills them - most die peacefully in their sleep.

2) Most kings are kings today because of atrocities and subjugation of others perpetrated by their ancestors.

3) In almost all societies, groups that were taken advantage of and oppressed in the past are still at the bottom today - from America to India to U.K.

4) From Rockefeller to the Rothschilds to the Kennedys, families with ill-gotten wealth have passed it on, from generation to generation and have stayed stupendously wealth.

5) Many dictators and killers live out their lives peacefully from Amin to Stalin to Rawlings

6) As directly relates to your post - nasty guys, and drug dealers, and cultists, and yahoo boys end up with the decent girls. Your assertion that good guys end up with the good girls is not borne out by reality: “nice guys finish last” is closer to what obtains in real life.

Mind you I am only pointing out how things are, not that I don’t wish it were not so

Thanks for your input. But there seems to be some things you do not understand and some you seem to have misunderstood from my post.

First, I never said "good guys end up with good girls (always)". I said if you are good guy especially if you treated women good, your reward MAY just come to you in form of a good woman.

There's something called general rule in life and there are things called exceptions.

I'll give you an example.

Generally, it is agreed that men are stronger than women. that is the general rule.

But have you not seen some relatively rare cases where women beat up men or prove to be stronger than some men? That is where exception comes in.

So Generally, good follows good and evil follows evil. But there may be some exceptions to that rule due to some factors and it will happen that a good guy will end up with a bad wife (Which may be a test for him or due to a mistake he made) and a bad guy ends up with a good girl.

So that's for that.

secondly, when you wanted to refute my talk on Karma, you made mention of people who do evil and get away with it.

I wonder if you read my post carefully and saw the point where I said, they will reap the rewards or repercussion IN THIS LIFE or THE HEREAFTER or both.

As for those who get away with it in this world, the here after is a place of even far more severe punishment (Hell fire) And they will surely get what they deserve according to the divine wisdom of God and his will.

Their reward MAY be delayed in this world just to test them and make them think they can never be punished and they will relax thinking there is no repercussion.

But when they get to the hereafter, they will meet their repercussion in a more severe state. This is how God works.

Then you went on to mention Lion killing animals. This is just nature and it is something that God has allowed. And that manifests in we humans as well. Do we not kill animals and feed on their flesh?

that's how God has willed it. he created some creatures for them to be of enjoyment to some other creatures. The only time when the issue of repercussion comes in is when a someone transgress against a being he shouldn't transgress against; a creature that is off limit from the ones it is permissible for him to harm or kill. like his fellow human being. This is where the issue of repercussion plays in.

I'm sorry, But your arguments seem logical but it is only because you base them on how it appears to you. But if you go deep in knowledge about what you say, you will find that it is faulty - I don't mean to insult you.

So that's the answer to the points that you raised

Ok

OladimejiRufai:


Thanks for your input. But there seems to be some things you do not understand and some you seem to have misunderstood from my post.

First, I never said "good guys end up with good girls (always)". I said if you are good guy especially if you treated women good, your reward MAY just come to you in form of a good woman.

There's something called general rule in life and there are things called exceptions.

I'll give you an example.

Generally, it is agreed that men are stronger than women. that is the general rule.

But have you not seen some relatively rare cases where women beat up men or prove to be stronger than some men? That is where exception comes in.

So Generally, good follows good and evil follows evil. But there may be some exceptions to that rule due to some factors and it will happen that a good guy will end up with a bad wife (Which may be a test for him or due to a mistake he made) and a bad guy ends up with a good girl.

So that's for that.

secondly, when you wanted to refute my talk on Karma, you made mention of people who do evil and get away with it.

I wonder if you read my post carefully and saw the point where I said, they will reap the rewards or repercussion IN THIS LIFE or THE HEREAFTER or both.

As for those who get away with it in this world, the here after is a place of even far more severe punishment (Hell fire) And they will surely get what they deserve according to the divine wisdom of God and his will.

Their reward MAY be delayed in this world just to test them and make them think they can never be punished and they will relax thinking there is no repercussion.

But when they get to the hereafter, they will meet their repercussion in a more severe state. This is how God works.

Then you went on to mention Lion killing animals. This is just nature and it is something that God has allowed. And that manifests in we humans as well. Do we not kill animals and feed on their flesh?

that's how God has willed it. he created some creatures for them to be of enjoyment to some other creatures. The only time when the issue of repercussion comes in is when a someone transgress against a being he shouldn't transgress against; a creature that is off limit from the ones it is permissible for him to harm or kill. like his fellow human being. This is where the issue of repercussion plays in.

I'm sorry, But your arguments seem logical but it is only because you base them on how it appears to you. But if you go deep in knowkedge about what you say, you will find that it is faulty - I don't mean to insult you.

So that's the answer to the points that you raised

Thanks for your response.
You are being too cerebral, too inwards about this. You are not looking at the REAL WORLD around you. Nature does not operate by some mysterious karma rule (I know we all wish it does, but it clearly doesn’t). The general rule is not Karma at all. The general rule is survival of the fittest - karma is the exception. You are not here today because your ancestors were nice and karma rewarded them, u r here today most likely because they killed the other guy or starved him by monopolizing scarce resources, thereby ending his lineage while theirs continued.

You talk of hereafter, we don’t really know, but this is how I view it: if u r, say, John, then your body, your brain, your memory are HUGE parts of what make u John. When u die and that body and brain are destroyed, whatever remains is no longer John.

Also in the Old Testament God rewarded people by blessing them and their offsprings IN THIS WORLD. He punished people by wiping them off the face of the earth or punishing their decendants IN THIS WORLD. He doesn‘t let them and their generations have abundant lives, then wait for hereafter to punish them.

I know Karma is logical, that’s how things ought to be. Problem is, that’s not how things are. Real life simply doesn’t jive with it. Where is the karmic reward for the way Africa was raped and enslaved and all the atrocities committed against slaves - today America is the greatest country on earth and Africans are dying to get into Europe! Karma! If u really look around you, at REAL LIFE, and forget what your intuition tells u, you will see that karma is the exception, not the rule.

A Good woman would definetly pick a bad guy over a good guy.

hence the saying "good guys finish last"

you said the enviroment and venue plays a part in finding a good woman, but i can boldly tell you that the so called "church girl" is the secret nocturnal whor£ of the county.

Women are extremely pretentious and manipulative, thats why janet the local public toilet of the bad boys (and after finding nice guys boring) becomes the near innocent jane of the nice guys when she is ready to settle down. (and starts seeing a bleak future with the bad guys)

skywalker240:
A Good woman would definetly pick a bad guy over a good guy.

hence the saying "good guys finish last"

you said the enviroment and venue plays a part in finding a good woman, but i can boldly tell you that the so called "church girl" is the secret nocturnal whor£ of the county.

Women are extremely pretentious and manipulative, thats why janet the local public toilet of the bad boys (and after finding nice guys boring) becomes the near innocent jane of the nice guys when she is ready to settle down. (and starts seeing a bleak future with the bad guys)

Thanks for your input.

even though, I had it in my mind to state that. I forgot.

But even though, I have modified it to stress that, I never made it the final thing to consider that you should seek them in the right place.

read the post again and you will find there is more work to do over. I didn't say that one should stop once one has met a girl at an appropriate place. it was even after more work had been done that I suggested that you ask her out not just after you met her at an appropriate place.

again, thanks for your input

OladimejiRufai:


Thanks for your input.

even though, I had it in my mind to state that. I forgot.

But even though, I have modified it to stress that, I never made it the final thing to consider that you should seek them in the right place.

read the post again and you will find there is more work to do over. I didn't say that one should stop once one has met a girl at an appropriate place. it was even after more work had been done that I suggested that you ask her out not just after you met her at an appropriate place.

again, thanks for your input

so one should just be studying a particular woman like a 4 unit course before he shoots

like i said earlier, women are extremely pretentious and manipulative and in most cases not until you get into the innermost part of her heart would find a little trait of her subtle ways.

sometimes you might court her for years and you wont even know. Not until u wife her, hence why many men are living in regrets.

CanadaOrBust:


Thanks for your response.
You are being too cerebral, too inwards about this. You are not looking at the REAL WORLD around you. Nature does not operate by some mysterious karma rule (I know we all wish it does, but it clearly doesn’t). The general rule is not Karma at all. The general rule is survival of the fittest - karma is the exception. You are not here today because your ancestors were nice and karma rewarded them, u r here today most likely because they killed the other guy or starved him by monopolizing scarce resources, thereby ending his lineage while theirs continued.

You talk of hereafter, we don’t really know, but this is how I view it: if u r, say, John, then your body, your brain, your memory are HUGE parts of what make u John. When u die and that body and brain are destroyed, whatever remains is no longer John.

Also in the Old Testament God rewarded people by blessing them and their offsprings IN THIS WORLD. He punished people by wiping them off the face of the earth or punishing their decendants IN THIS WORLD. He doesn‘t let them and their generations have abundant lives, then wait for hereafter to punish them.

I know Karma is logical, that’s how things ought to be. Problem is, that’s not how things are. Real life simply doesn’t jive with it. Where is the karmic reward for the way Africa was raped and enslaved and all the atrocities committed against slaves - today America is the greatest country on earth and Africans are dying to get into Europe! Karma! If u really look around you, at REAL LIFE, and forget what your intuition tells u, you will see that karma is the exception, not the rule.

Thanks for your input once again.

I'd like to explain something to you.

When it is said something is a general rule, it doesn't necessarily have to be judged based on how much it reflects in the world.

Rather, it is to be judged based on whether it is the basic principle or not.

So to judge if something is general rule, you don't look at the world first. A general rule is not "how something is". A general rule is actually "how it is expected to be"


There are some factors that could cause that general rule to become relatively rare and seem like it is an exception and that is what has happened today.

let me give an example.

You know I said it is a general rule that males are stronger than females but there are exceptions.

Let us assume in this Nigeria, a woman became president. This woman happens to be an extremist feminist who yearns for female superiority. And while on the seat of power, she embarks on her secret agenda to achieve that female superiority and she commands that all hospitals must infect all male new born babies with a substance that weakens their genes and DNA and will make them grow up a weaker creature than the females, hence making the females stronger.

If she succeeds in that, you will find that about 30 years later, it will become something common in the whole nation that females are now generally stronger than males. Would you now because of that say that the actual general rule which is that "males are generally stronger than females" is no more true and it is rather the exception. No!

It still remains the general rule because that is what normally happens and is expected to happen. It is only because of the actions of that woman that caused it to become uncommon in that nation.

So same applies in the world. You are looking at the world of today where evil people are now rampant and the people or authorities through which God should bring about "karma" to transgressing people are evil themselves, and due to that fact coupled with some other factors have caused the general rule to seem like it is the exception.

If It were to be past societies especially during the times that certain Prophets came to establish justice on earth, you will not observe what you observe today in such societies.

But again it will only seem like that to you because you are only considering one part of karma which is the one reaped in this world. If you were to connect the next life to this life, you will not see it so. Because those people who SEEM to be getting away will surely go meet a more severe punishment in the hereafter. Karma is not restricted to this world alone but also the next life. So if you connect the two lives, you will find that people will surely reap the rewards of their deeds hence karma is still the general rule.

skywalker240:

so one should just be studying a particular woman like a 4 unit course before he shoots

like i said earlier, women are extremely pretentious and manipulative and in most cases not until you get into the innermost part of her heart would find a little trait of her subtle ways.

sometimes you might court her for years and you wont even know. Not until u wife her, hence why many men are living in regrets.

man, did you read the post and you saw the part where I stressed the same point that you are stressing.

I stressed that doing all what I opine doesn't totally guarantee you know the truth about her but it will still go a long way.

I stressed that some people are experts in hiding their true colour. I said the same thing you are saying. Did you not see it in the post

OladimejiRufai:


Thanks for your input once again.

I'd like to explain something to you.

When it is said something is a general rule, it doesn't necessarily have to be judged based on how much it reflects in the world.

Rather, it is to be judged based on whether it is the basic principle or not.

So to judge if something is general rule, you don't look at the world first. A general rule is not "how something is". A general rule is actually "how it is expected to be"


There are some factors that could cause that general rule to become relatively rare and seem like it is an exception and that is what has happened today.

let me give an example.

You know I said it is a general rule that males are stronger than females but there are exceptions.

Let us assume in this Nigeria, a woman became president. This woman happens to be an extremist feminist who yearns for female superiority. And while on the seat of power, she embarks on her secret agenda to achieve that female superiority and she commands that all hospitals must infect all male new born babies with a substance that weakens their genes and DNA and will make them grow up a weaker creature than the females, hence making the females stronger.

If she succeeds in that, you will find that about 30 years later, it will become something common in the whole nation that females are now generally stronger than males. Would you now because of that say that the actual general rule which is that "males are generally stronger than females" is no more true and it is rather the exception. No!

It still remains the general rule because that is what normally happens and is expected to happen. It is only because of the actions of that woman that caused it to become uncommon in that nation.

So same applies in the world. You are looking at the world of today where evil people are now rampant and the people or authorities through which God should bring about "karma" to transgressing people are evil themselves, and due to that fact coupled with some other factors have caused the general rule to seem like it is the exception.

If It were to be past societies especially during the times that certain Prophets came to establish justice on earth, you will not observe what you observe today in such societies.

But again it will only seem like that to you because you are only considering one part of karma which is the one reaped in this world. If you were to connect the next life to this life, you will not see it so. Because those people who SEEM to be getting away will surely go meet a more severe punishment in the hereafter. Karma is not restricted to this world alone but also the next life. So if you connect the two lives, you will find that people will surely reap the rewards of their deeds hence karma is still the general rule.

Thanks once again 4 your response.

Well u don’t establish a general rule by pulling it out of thin air or by how things ought to be. You establish it by looking around you and seeing how things ACTUALLY are. That’s why it has to be in the context of a given OBSERVABLE place within a certain time frame. Example, the general rule on earth is that things fall down. Well, that’s not the rule in space and it may not still be the rule on earth a million years from now. In the example u gave, the general rule in Nigeria (observable place) within that 30 years (time frame) would be that women are stronger than men. If you run into a stronger man you will marvel.

You can say Karma is logical and makes sense and that that’s how things ought to be. But don’t say that’s the rule, because u have nothing to back that up. Man is an animal and is governed by the same “survival of the fittest”. If Boko Haram were to discover a bomb that can wipe out non-moslems, they’d wipe out non-moslems and that would be the end of that. No misterious karma will come out to punish them. They’d establish an Islamic earth that would last forever as long as they keep wiping out any dissidenters.

As for afterlife, u can’t establish a general rule because it is not OBSERVABLE - you’ve had no direct experience of it

Ok

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