I have something paining me so much, and for this reason, I'm seriously reconsidering settling down. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and even though we plan to get married soon I always see reasons to hold on. Marriage is not something you really rush into, honestly, it might look good on the outside but inside it's something else.

She used to be a student and come visiting once in a while but now she's done with school and has been around for a month. This is the longest time we've ever seen since we started dating and now I'm getting the vibe of what it feels like living with a woman. In fact it's better she's away and we see like we used to.
There are so many things I can't do anymore, simply because she's here. I can't play my ps4 in the sitting room anymore, as soon as I have the time and decide to, she's already there watching Telemundo or some other channel I can't relate to. When you tell her to switch to something we both have interest in she'll nag about how I don't want her to have a good time. When I insist I want to play games or watch something else she'll just leave the sitting room and enter the room and lock herself.

I had a talk with her, and she suggested I move the ps4 to the guest room, I have a 32 inch TV there, and a 60 inch 4k UHD in the well-furnished sitting room. I just looked at her as she said this while sipping Fresh Yogo with a wide smile. How can I live like a church rat inside my house? I can't keep something and it will still be there when I return. I can't eat what I want, it has to be what she wants or she'll cook it anyhow and give me.

She said we need 30k for feeding, no problem as long as we eat well. But when she go market and come back, I was looking for money one day and asked her if she had, she asked me to check her purse and I saw 1k everywhere. When I asked her she said it's her savings.

I'm here because these whole thing is paining me, if it's like this, then imagine how it will be when married forever. I spoke to a friend about it, and he said I'm too soft on her, that if I tell her something and she refuses then I should hit her. That's a no-no for me, I can't do that instead I ask her to leave. Please married people, how do you deal with women? It's driving me completely nuts.

Modified: for those coming for me about the TV's and calling that bragging, calm down, there is nothing to brag about that context. I specifically mentioned those to better explain the senero . If It pain you, go and price it in the market and buy it, it's even cheaper than you think. Someone even said I'm bragging for mentioning Fresh Yogo of #350, what's that now? Please push your frustration elsewhere.

The next commentor will say something tangible to you.

Patience/dialogues is the key to marital success

Your friend is mad!

Btw Im sure you didnt express your feelings to her before running to nl. If you didnt, then go back and talk to her.

Her reaction or response will determine your action. Bear it in mind that no relationship is perfect and everyone got their own demon.

sinaj:
Your friend is mad!

Btw Im sure you didnt express your feelings to her before running to nl. If you didnt, then go back and talk to her.

Her reaction or response will determine your action.

I did, severally. It's not working, infact she once accused me of trying to control her life. "You don't let me do anything I want" I know very well that's completely false.

grossintel:
I did, severally. It's not working, infact she once accused me of trying to control her life. "You don't let me do anything I want" I know very well that's completely false.

If she isnt willing to improve and you cant manage her wahala then let her be.

All women are like that. As a man you will have to sacrifice alot. When you start having children it will be worse. Imagine when you are about watching champions league final live and your little daughter insists on watching 'Hey Dudgee' on Ceebies in the sitting room!!!

You have to start loving to live like that. That's what it takes to be a responsible father and husband.

ericlove4all:
All women are like that. As a man you will have to sacrifice alot. When you start having children it will be worse. Imagine when you are about watching champions league final live and your little daughter insists on watching 'Hey Dudgee' on Ceebies in the sitting room!!!

You have to start loving to live like that. That's what it takes to be a responsible father and husband.

Now I feel the pain my dad went through, my mom and us retired the poor man to his room alone by himself. I just need to hear from married men here and it's obvious this is the future. I don't think I'm ready to sacrifice that pleasure, not for anyone. It's not a pleasant feeling, I really need to think this through.

I can't keep something and it will still be there when I return

It's either she's taken or eaten it right Hmm
Something drastic has to be done to fix your gluttonous wifey to be cos as it stands now bro even your destiny is at stake don't keep it anyhow.
Jakpa!
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Pukes

Welcome to the world
That's how almost all the women are, like someone pointed out if u want to have a happy home, u have to sacrifice alot....I mean alot.
Don't think she will change no matter what u do.
Thank God u already know how it feels to live with a woman...it's left for you now to know if you have the patience and endurance to tolerate whatever she throws at you.
Don't think it will stop on the ones you are seeing now.
Time will come when she will not even cook for you, lay you or talk to you with respect.
Time will come when the only purpose you will serve in her life will be to provide money for her well-being, her children and relatives.

ericlove4all:
All women are like that. As a man you will have to sacrifice alot. When you start having children it will be worse. Imagine when you are about watching champions league final live and your little daughter insists on watching 'Hey Dudgee' on Ceebies in the sitting room!!!

You have to start loving to live like that. That's what it takes to be a responsible father and husband.

Walai Dem no born am well
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Pukes

Guy you're being manipulated.

You need to ask her when will all this manipulation stop.

What about your friends, does she also stop them from coming to visit.?

shortgun:
Welcome to the world
That's how almost all the women are, like someone pointed out if u want to have a happy home, u have to sacrifice alot....I mean alot.
Don't think she will change no matter what u do.
Thank God u already know how it feels to live with a woman...it's left for you now to know if you have the patience and endurance to tolerate whatever she throws at you.
Don't think it will stop on the ones you are seeing now.
Time will come when she will not even cook for you, lay you or talk to you with respect.
Time will come when the only purpose you will serve in her life will be to provide money for her well-being, her children and relatives.

I can relate, at this point what do you do? The only thing I'm thinking about now is 7th January. I'm not even concerned about laying her, it's been weeks I was even in that mood. With what I'm going through here, sex is the 99th thing on my mind. Make she dey her papa house let me think this through, ave heard people say love fades when you're married you'll see the true human in your partner. I care about her oh, provide for her and take care of the ones I can. But these new adjustments is not something I can't deal with at all. I can't even go out and come home in peace without someone crying, my guys can't come here and pass just a night. I have to discuss every decision I take with her. I buy something I like, problem! why didn't you tell me?
Honestly I can't deal, when she goes I'll sit down and think this well.

Nigerian men have a twisted view of women and marriage. No wonder my mom always insists that her daughter must keep a job however rich the husband may be. You guys treat women like objects.

Bros, dont listen to those telling you to manage her. Dont start what you can't tolerate in the future. Women get worse with time. If she's this selfish and entitled imagine what it would be like in the future.
what men desire is peace of mind and if you're not getting it, free her. There are lots of good girls out there.
Dont compromise when it comes to marriage

shortgun:
Welcome to the world
That's how almost all the women are, like someone pointed out if u want to have a happy home, u have to sacrifice alot....I mean alot.
Don't think she will change no matter what u do.
Thank God u already know how it feels to live with a woman...it's left for you now to know if you have the patience and endurance to tolerate whatever she throws at you.
Don't think it will stop on the ones you are seeing now.
Time will come when she will not even cook for you, lay you or talk to you with respect.
Time will come when the only purpose you will serve in her life will be to provide money for her well-being, her children and relatives.

u mean naija women

Validcode:
Nigerian men have a twisted view of women and marriage. No wonder my mom always insists that her daughter must keep a job however rich the husband may be. You guys treat women like objects.

u well so? Why are you going off key?

Validcode:
Nigerian men have a twisted view of women and marriage. No wonder my mom always insists that her daughter must keep a job however rich the husband may be. You guys treat women like objects.

And how does this relate to the subject, was this post centred on money or what I stand to gain? You obviously didn't understand what your Mom was saying, don't swerve this topic if you have nothing sensible to contribute please.

ucheHapers:
Bros, dont listen to those telling you to manage her. Dont start what you can't tolerate in the future. Women get worse with time. If she's this selfish and entitled imagine what it would be like in the future.
what men desire is peace of mind and if you're not getting it, free her. There are lots of good girls out there.
Dont compromise when it comes to marriage

That brings me to my question, are you married? If so is she still the girlfriend you used to know?

Its obvious the lady has friendzoned you thereby making you lose your respect as a man. You are nothing but a nice guy. She's just managin you coz of your money and one day, you will be DUMPED!
The best solution now is for you to start being a bad boy. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
She will surely realise that you are not a coward and then her heart will melt like a candle
@grossintel

lies .

Try to train yourself in a way that you won't be reacting to everything she does, from your post, you don't have any problem and I didn't see anywhere she is giving you problem according to your post,play your PES in your Guest room, go to the kitchen , cook and eat what you like, as to the 30k you gave her, next time give her the list of what she will buy in the market, regards to not meeting your things where you put it, be prepared,your kids will do the worst even in your presence.

Validcode:
Nigerian men have a twisted view of women and marriage. No wonder my mom always insists that her daughter must keep a job however rich the husband may be. You guys treat women like objects.

Is it that all nairaland girls know how to do is complain? How on earth does your comment relate to the OP's situation.

And how won't you be treated like an object when all you do is consume a man's money. Then there's no difference between you and DStv subscription na, we simply pay to keep you around.

Validcode:
Nigerian men have a twisted view of women and marriage. No wonder my mom always insists that her daughter must keep a job however rich the husband may be. You guys treat women like objects.

this one d!ck is sick. Just going off
mumu getraout from here!

Immaturity, you will have to continue to talk to her till she outgrows Immaturity. You need patience, remember you are dating a very young lady. Even if you dump her and still go for another very young graduate, there may still be another issue with the new one, so continue to talk to your girl and be patient. She will outgrow that Immaturity. It is a pity she accepts to live for that long with a bf.

Relashionships are not made in heaven and marriages are not beds of roses. Women generally are what they are "Women". Don't expect a woman to do things the way a man would. You will know more when you get married eventually and have kids. The female child is pleasantly complex and different to the male child. What works for Mr A may not work for Mr B. Watch what advice you take. Let your head lead you...the heart can be treacherous.

He made a good comment, but he is very wrong to say that all women are like that, not all women are like that.

grossintel:
Now I feel the pain my dad went through, my mom and us retired the poor man to his room alone by himself. I just need to hear from married men here and it's obvious this is the future. I don't think I'm ready to sacrifice that pleasure, not for anyone. It's not a pleasant feeling, I really need to think this through.

I need pop corn! This thread go sweet. Front seat on point.

LilMissFavvy:
Immaturity, you will have to continue to talk to her till she outgrows Immaturity. You need patience, remember you are dating a very young lady. Even if you dump her and still go for another very young graduate, there may still be another issue with the new one, so continue to talk to your girl and be patient. She will outgrow that Immaturity. It is a pity she accepts to live for that long with a bf.

new issues are fairly better than constant, repetitive ones.

ericlove4all:
All women are like that. As a man you will have to sacrifice alot. When you start having children it will be worse. Imagine when you are about watching champions league final live and your little daughter insists on watching 'Hey Dudgee' on Ceebies in the sitting room!!!

You have to start loving to live like that. That's what it takes to be a responsible father and husband.

ha! E go hard gan oh!!!!! Almighty champions League finals Wetin she dey find awake by that time sef. Shey school/church no dey tommorow. Lol!!!

What's if the new issues are worse? Ahhh......am surprised you can say this.

DaddyMorenike:
new issues are fairly better than constant, repetitive ones.

LilMissFavvy:
What's if the new issues are worse? Ahhh......am surprised you can say this.

don't be surprised. See! Pple can't be talking to me about a particular issue and I keep on doing it instead of working on myself.. Last last everybody wants peace in their lives. There's a limit to everything!!!!!