healthserve:




It's not the cloth. Every war like this is being executed by a puppeteer in the dark, someone behind the scenes wants her to have the right of victinization(the husband beating her without any wrongs) so she can leave and then the individual will come in and take her place. She needs to know however imperfect what she has is, someone wants it at all cost and is pulling the strings strategically



Someone wants her place and the husband is under manipulation. Simple

Cc Bukatyne

She should give him a few days to calm down and go and make peace.This matter is not good enough reason to end her marriage as She has not decribed her husband as a perpetual wife beater

If you haven't left anything out and this is truly the only thing that happened then get a DIVORCE or insist he gets help for his anger issue before you settle! He obviously has anger issues and might seriously injure you or worse the next time. All these fools telling you to go apologize and so on are mentally ill, if you apologize now believe me you'll keep apologizing forever. Your worth in the marriage is your ability to maintain the respect your husband has for you and your husband's ability to maintain yours, once either party does not respect the other then it is FINISHED! Heed my advice only if you haven't left anything out and you've not been abusive towards him in the past, heed my advice only if you are financially able to stand on your own or you have people that can support you. Finally heed my advice, if you believe it was not a mistake and he is prone to doing this again in the future!

Dameland:



She should give him a few days to calm down and go and make peace.This matter is not good enough reason to end her marriage as She has not decribed her husband as a perpetual wife beater

I agree this has been my position throughout the thread but the ladies here have accused me of supporting a wife beater because I made this same statement earlier. She needs to dig to the root of the issue to avoid future/further occurrence. I maintain my stance that someone somewhere wants her place and wants the marriage broken

You are a good wife, just be silent don't border yourself about him, behave as if he is not around only greet him and relax, when some kind of men behave like women keeping malice its look childish, he will come to you when he is tire of keep malice, leave him alone simple.

MariaAngeles:

Careful with your words yeah ?
You can share your opinion without insults.
No man has the right to lay hands on the mother of your children ( and right in front of them).
Believe me, they're never going to forget that!

Fixed
Some women just like some men could deserve a slap o

Plead:

Rubbish. So if I should give you the insults of your life that will make you regret why you came to life the next thing is to physically assault me abi?
I repeat,no amount of verbal assault equates or requires physical assault. Insult the person back or forget about it.

Honestly,I keep saying it that 90% of Africans(especially Nigerians) if given the chance to live in the west they won’t last upto 5months before being locked up/thrown into jail.

Animals !

As usual, you don't get the point.
Don't go around insulting people. Some day it might just be someone crazier than you.
You hold up the west as if freak thing's do not happen there

Sorry about that,but sometimes men have many things on their mind and the wife should always observe the wife mood.
His first reaction should tell you to keep quite and just follow him till his head comes down.
You asking to take picture s when he his agry shows you are not sensitive enough.
Some men do have this mood swinbg at times better you watch it.
I guess he his the only one providing for the family.
There must be something bordering him

Sorry about that,but sometimes men have many things on their mind and the wife should always observe the husband mood.
His first reaction should tell you to keep quite and just follow him till his head comes down.
You asking to take picture s when he his angry shows you are not sensitive enough.
Some men do have this mood swings at times better you watch it.
I guess he his the only one providing for the family.
There must be something bordering him

This story seems incomplete but I don't support women battering of any type.

healthserve:




Gbam. You will be surprised this could be projected by someone who wants her to leave so she can trap the man. Those who know Whatsup know how it goes down

True.

However, most of these entrapment work because the husband has stepped out in the first place.

bukatyne:


True.

However, most of these entrapment work because the husband has stepped out in the first place.

Not necessarily. You've not updated your Os. The way it's going on in the world now is much more complex. Don't be surprised even the woman would/or has also fell under the get-angry-react and leave voodoo as well. Thesedays people need to place value on what they have and protect it. Whatever is left unguarded will be tested. Remember the scripture where the Bible talks about a people leaving in peace with no fears of any external attacks until a day came. Thesedays business, marriage, relationships needs to be guarded. And it doesn't need sidestepping for vile people to be angry. Trust me your smile/happiness alone would irk them to do their usual evil. It's naija. She should go pray with her pastor for the Lord to put light to the mystery and unmask the puppeteer


On this particular thread I consulted my innerman and I'm 90%certain of my position on this issue

doitforyou:
You didn’t deserve to get beat up on Christmas Day.

Personally, I believe that anytime violence is introduced in a relationship, the relationship is done. It never happens only once especially when the abuser is not remorseful. It’s even worse that your children are exposed to violence.

If you apologize for being beaten or you entertain his silent treatment you’ve given him a green light for future beatings.

From ur words I know u r not married. So ur advice in this situation il be like a primary school pupil answering a question from a university exam. U go fail woofully so just observe and learn from those with experience.

Woman, speak the truth. How can he just snapped and slapped you just like that?

Hidden part of the issue please...

Bbbwings:

As usual, you don't get the point.
Don't go around insulting people. Some day it might just be someone crazier than you.
You hold up the west as if freak thing's do not happen there

Maybe she is not from the USA where cursing the police can get you killed. Even cursing others including your husband or wife can get you killed because guns are easily available.
Why do we smack our children sometimes? If it were that easy to always reason with other people then life will be so much easier. And how easy is it to just walk away? He must have told his wife before not to tell him what to do... She says the clothes he is wearing is not that good for the special occasion - according to HER! He saw the clothes laid out and he still decided to wear something else to his friend's house (not even to the wife's family house). He took 1 hour to cool off and she was still not happy that all he did was change his shirt (he even tried self to change his shirt) - we are supposed to believe that she said nothing - NA! And then can we take photos - WTF?

Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again

This is so sad. How grown are your children please?

healthserve:



I'm. Cracked up. This doesn't add up. Another one on the loose seeking validations to create problems in the house. It's outright lunacy on the husband's side or the OP is telling the tale to appear completely innocent

The bottom line is her hubby is a bad dresser. So he reacting simply means he reacting same issue about his bad dress sense which she might tease him back then

Dameland:



She should give him a few days to calm down and go and make peace.This matter is not good enough reason to end her marriage as She has not decribed her husband as a perpetual wife beater

Hmmmmm.

Someone will still come and say she should try to find out what the husband is going through that made him lash out. Or she should apologize to him for peace to reign.

Some husbands take advantage of the "head of the house" title and try to bully their spouses. Everyone, whether husband or wife should be responsible for their actions and apologize when they mess up instead of forming silent treatment to cover their shame.

I can t believe folks are telling a woman that was beating on xmas day to apologizes.
if you dnt hav a little control of your emotions marriage is not somethin to engage in. going by wht she wrote, i dnt think the husband is cheating. cheating husband are even more likely to dress nicely and act nicely to their wife. I THINK the husband is in big trouble probably financially.
Another thing that can make a man lash out like that is information that is very damaging like he just found out he is not the father of his kid or kids.
just thinking out loud. in anycase i dnt think its is safe for her to remain in that house until she find out what is bothering her husband

Maybe ur hubby is being so sensitive or the man is frustrated...So my Wife no fit tell me say Cloth no fit me again?!
Well,I don't believe this story anyways.
Unless the man is mentally ill.

DavidEsq:

I talk am say crase ppl don gather for here this night

Lmao i tell u dem plenty here,been lauging since.

@op am an advocate of not laying hand on women but some of you are something else,your story still not adding up only a mad man will beat his wife

Violence is a no-no and I strongly condemn it.
The op obviously is a show off, someone who like to impress people. Op have you thought that maybe your husband does not want you to go to that party, he waisted 1hour just to change shirt, enough indication for sensitive woman to know that something is amiss but no, all she could think of is pictures (obviously to impress friends), even after beating you still went to the party (she must represent)madam nawa. The truth is that those your trying to impress don't really care. It's possible the man is heavily indebted because of your show off life style. Be more sensitive to your husband and family, times are hard. Above all prayer is the key.

safarigirl:
who is the 'they' that call it bodyshaming when men try to pick out what their wives wear?

Men never pick wetin dem go wear, dem wan pick out clothes for women? Except the man is Denola Grey, Ebuka or Swanky Jerry, wetin naija men sabi for women fashion?

Exactly, my point if this equality of sexes of a thing is followed strictly, na women go suffer pass

bayulll011:



Lmao i tell u dem plenty here,been lauging since.

@op am an advocate of not laying hand on women but some of you are something else,your story still not adding up only a mad man will beat his wife

maasoap:


It could be as simple as op stated it. Only the man knew what triggered his animalistic behaviour, it could be a new mistress somewhere. This brings out different types of reaction in men.

You read the story of a guy in Ibadan about three months ago? He made an advance to a woman, the woman rejected it. The next thing, he took a bike to her house in a broad daylight, attacked her in her own house, injured her, raped her and then killed her and left. Did that make sense to you? But that's how it was. He was arrested by the help of the bike rider who became suspicious and went back to the place to find out what happened inside the house

it is well

emonis88:

From ur words I know u r not married. So ur advice in this situation il be like a primary school pupil answering a question from a university exam. U go fail woofully so just observe and learn from those with experience.

lol if your idea of marriage is to be pummeled on Christmas Day while your child cries for you, then you can save it for the women in your family that will be their portion.

Madam if you care to listen,i have some observations to make not that am siding your hubby but some things didnt add up to me...let me highlight as follows:
My doubts are on:
You claim u told him politely to go n change and he was angry.i doubt was u said was actually polite or in a polite manner ...yoruba will say "pele o ni ako o ni abo"

-secondly,u told him to lets you guys take family pics and he just started beating u...aunty just like that.

Well,l observe u r trying to act as the saint here,its better u try n meet your husband,drop all the talk of l no do anything to him cos u might have unknowingly do something he doesnt like for such misunderstanding.nothing happen without a cause.Ask him wat u did wrong to warrant such action,he will tell u...
Finally,ur hubby bleeped up big time to have raise his hands on u.i wont support that.but learn to dialogue with ur hubby without doing self righteousness

thorpido:
That must be his own way of celebrating Christmas with you.

na kolo you be walahiiiii

My anger with her is that she still went for the party. What kind of fake life are you living? Is it that you don't have self worth? You dragged your kids to go to the party after all that happened. Madam you are a shame to motherhood. Don't worry, new year beating will be deadly, go like some people are advising you to ask him what happened? Then he will show you 2020 in view.

I don't know about everything else but hitting you was wrong and very unacceptable. Be careful there. He can kill you.

baby124:

Her husbands dressing concerns her. What are you talking about? If my husband doesn’t like my dressing or he has an opinion on it, I take it and change. You have to be mentally imbalanced to take dressing so seriously. Like you don’t have other life issues.

She was right anyway to tell him to dress more appropriately for the occasion. She already picked out the clothes for him. If he didn’t agree he won’t have gone in to change it. Did she put a gun to his head? So why the beating after agreeing? Some of you are mentally deranged I really pity people who have to pick spouses from a cesspool of sick men like OP’s husband.

Thank you.

If you allow your husband to go outside looking like a joke, do you really love that guy

Hm! Make I no talk before dem come beat me for house o since its that serious smh

Originalsly:


That's possible.... but there is no fair game about this whether or not she retaliates.

Two wrongs don't make a right

Just u justified his wrong na! Why is it that when woman retaliates this sentiment will arise?