adekS1:
Madam if you care to listen,i have some observations to make not that am siding your hubby but some things didnt add up to me...let me highlight as follows:
My doubts are on:
You claim u told him politely to go n change and he was angry.i doubt was u said was actually polite or in a polite manner ...yoruba will say "pele o ni ako o ni abo"

-secondly,u told him to lets you guys take family pics and he just started beating u...aunty just like that.

Well,l observe u r trying to act as the saint here,its better u try n meet your husband,drop all the talk of l no do anything to him cos u might have unknowingly do something he doesnt like for such misunderstanding.nothing happen without a cause.Ask him wat u did wrong to warrant such action,he will tell u...
Finally,ur hubby bleeped up big time to have raise his hands on u.i wont support that.but learn to dialogue with ur hubby without doing self righteousness

guys, if someone do something you dnt like tell the person wife or co-worker, slapping or beating the person is no longer acceptable in civilization.
If Anthony Joshua is the husband friend and did something that annoy him, do you think he will slap Joshua?? he will not cos he will know that he will be lucky to wake up in the hospital. so he slap her cos he know he is physically stronger.

chrisj2:


OMG! This one has spoiled everything now with this comment. So having money means the woman can order the man around and his emotions will be in perfect check because he knows the woman will not take shit from him? Come on!

The man went to the room for 1 hour to cool off and even decided to make an effort to change. In all that time the woman did nto even bother to go and talk to him or even sense that he is not pleased... Give me a break. Your financial independence is what will actually make that man move straight out of the house because if it were me, I know the children will be alright for money at least...

If women think having their own money is all that it takes to get respect, then they are wrong. This woman knows deep inside that she pushed things too far - and he has practically separated from her within the same house. What sort of threat is her being financially independent going to have to solving this issue?

Change of shirt and picture is pushing things to far!!!
How??
And yes, money can solve the problem! She should dump him and move on! There a lot of good men who would love fashion tips and enjoy a picture of his family!!!
That man is bull shìt, straight up mad!
Enough said!

Mrsprissy:
Thank you so much everyone for your advice . Like I said earlier nothing actually happened between us before Christmas , everything was okey , on Monday December 23rd we went out shopping for Christmas after we took the kids out to the playgrounds and we ended the day with a nice dinner at the restaurant. On Christmas morning we woke up fine no arguments, he left the house and went to get his hair cut, I picked up his clothes and left it on the bed by the time he get back so he can wear them, he came back very normal on a good mood , the only time he got angry was when I asked him to go and change , I didn’t raise my voice , I only told him the clothes doesn’t look nice for the special occasion that was when he told me to keep quiet and I did. He took 1 hour just to change the T-shirt to a shirt and I wasn’t not happy but I didn’t say anything because he wasn’t in the right mood. Yes He beat me just because I have asked him to take a family picture , I swear to God I’m telling the truth and if I’m not lying because it won’t put any money to my bank account. This is the 2nd beating after 6 years of marriage , but this is one was worse than the first one. Something did happened back in October ( his fault) but we have already settle everything and went back to normal. I know it doesn’t make sense to some of you , even myself I just don’t understand why did he beat me with so much hatred when I did nothing wrong

I suspect bipolar disorder. This disease could make one who is very nice at one time to behave irrationally at other times with no valid explanation. Its a form of mental illness. I will advice he sees a psychiatrist. But it is when we admit we have a problem that we can seek for solution.

Graxie:
My anger with her is that she still went for the party. What kind of fake life are you living? Is it that you don't have self worth? You dragged your kids to go to the party after all that happened. Madam you are a shame to motherhood. Don't worry, new year beating will be deadly, go like some people are advising you to ask him what happened? Then he will show you 2020 in view.

Wait, but I dont understand the connection you guys are making between the beating and the party. Somebody said its "an intricacy of marriage" that I couldnt possibly understand, well I am ready to learn.

What is wrong in what she did? Where is the lack of self-respect there?

bukatyne:


What happened in October?

Did you cheat on him?

What happened the first time he beat you?

Good question....

A man can forgive and allow you to stay in his house but he can never forget.

You must have hurt him one way or the other and whenever he remembers, he feels depressed. Depression will lead to anger and outburst

Chai ma! Hope you have not become a suspect? For me keep a distance from the family you people went to visit, something is fishy dear.
.
Relax, perform your roles for him and the kids...he will regret his actions when the really truth comes out.
.
Sorry ma for the insult but there's a secret you don't know which you need to unravel with WISDOM.

Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again

You bruised his ego. Nothing more nothing less.

Never put any other person (Man) before your husband even if he's in rags as the case may be. His friend May be loaded (rich) more than him, and you're going he shouldn't go and disgrace you attitude.

So it may involve around him, you and his friend. His friend called you and bla bla bla.

Bbbwings:

As usual, you don't get the point.
Don't go around insulting people. Some day it might just be someone crazier than you.
You hold up the west as if freak thing's do not happen there

Shut up

midnighter:


Exactly but since the sound of her voice is already enough to send him mad, its better if she leaves and comes back later.

The guy is not all right; the begging might annoy him even more.

She should just totally avoid him before he snaps and causes her a serious injury.

If she leaves that man may even accuse her of adultery wether she is innocent or not... Lol ... My dear marriages these days na scam... Marriages turn sane people to mad people...

SmellingAnus:
If she leaves that man may even accuse her of adultery wether she is innocent or not... Lol ... My dear marriages these days na scam... Marriages turn sane people to mad people...

She should leave to one of their family members if possible...I personally dont believe she is safe in that house if he could be so bitter as to beat her up and leave her on the ground. Does she even lock the bedroom when she's sleeping Sheesh

Whatever he accuses her of is his business...at least accusation is better than beating!

Ardar [s:
post=85300247]What are you still doing in that marriage? Is it when he finally kills you that you'll understand that your horseband is gradually turning into a beast.

I don't know when women in abusive marriages will get sense, the day any man lays his finger on me especially when unprovoked will be the end of the peace and sanity in that marriage.

We will fight to our last breath, it's either he kills me or I kill him or we kill each other, but if we both survive he won't try such rubbish again.

[/s]

Shut Up! Mufu
Always claiming Boss on social media, but in reality they are a nobody.

Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again

You know the problem but you came here to pretend. Only a mad person gets angry without provocation. Be smart and tell us the reason....That man has suddenly discovered a secret you 've been hiding ....search your self very well...,nobody here can help you with this....

midnighter:


She should leave to one of their family members if possible...I personally dont believe she is safe in that house if he could be so bitter as to beat her up and leave her on the ground. Does she even lock the bedroom when she's sleeping Sheesh

Whatever he accuses her of is his business...at least accusation is better than beating!

I don't think she is safe either... The man is definitely going through stuffs that his wife is unaware of... If I have 10 friends at least 8 or 9 are married, it's either their wives complain about them to me or they complain about their wives... There is hardly a happy marriage amongst them is just that some of them still look beyond their differences and still make out fun time pending when the fire and brimstone era sets in... The way we see marriages as singles is as good as fantasies...

Beating for the second time...
This time it’s worse...
You really need to understand what is at root of his anger to avoid a third time which could be more devastating. He probably has a problem. :-

crackhaus:
1. I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

2. I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly.

After giving you the benefit of a doubt and assuming this is exactly how it happened - then your husband has definitely gone mad to react to absolutely nothing.
Please politely ask him if there is madness running in his family, make sure you ask him from a safe distance because he will surely use the nearest furniture to kill you.

Madness does not have a cure, but it can be managed.
Arrange to have him put in chains and get him on medications till everything returns to normal.

hahahahaha you're not serious oo.. epic advice

Guy man

stupidity:
Something is fishy. I’m suspecting he wanted to go to that party alone and didn’t know how to tell you.

I believe he went ahead to the friends party thinking you’d stay back at home crying while he enjoys himself


You picked yourself up and still entered the place.

He must be very disappointed when you showed up.
Just my analysis.

xtivin2:
am sure hubby is a yoruba man, he has ego issues and felt bad when corrected.pls becareful wit him, play the foul as a good wife that you are, beg him and when all is settled by God grace talk sense to his head calmly, let him know ur duties is to put him in check, also be prayerful and dnt report him pls, am sure he wil regret his actions

Same here, I'm also sure u've smoked ur Igbo again.
Pls don't carry ds fuuulish stereotypes into 2020, biko.

Because Of Too Much Thinking or maybe He Has A New Catch. God Help I Know I'll Never Lay Finger On My Wife, i Rather Home Angry and Go Somewhere to Clear My Head. And Later Figure Things Out

SmellingAnus:
I don't think she is safe either... The man is definitely going through stuffs that his wife is unaware of... If I have 10 friends at least 8 or 9 are married, it's either their wives complain about them to me or they complain about their wives... There is hardly a happy marriage amongst them is just that some of them still look beyond their differences and still make out fun time pending when the fire and brimstone era sets in... The way we see marriages as singles is as good as fantasies...

Lol, I think you need to make some new friends! You dont know one of us must still arrange better date for one Saturday with you?

He beat you up to remind you he is the MAN in that marriage.

You don't tell a man what to wear when he already picked what he liked... his Friend's house not some presidential or black tie event..

You made him feel like he is nothing and don't know what he is doing.

It may be the way you told him to go and change his clothes (it may be that you told him to go and change his clothes the way you always tell your kids to go and change their clothes when there dressing is not right)
You said he went inside for like an hour (may be he is thinking about the way you talked to him...)
So he later kept your offense inside warmer for you �

So when you are now abt to leave, the way you told him to snap the family picture is not cool again that's when he now opened the warmer and beat the offense you have been offending him out of you.

Sorry abt all the story... It may be that the way you always tell your hubby to do something is disrespectful, please check the way you always talk to him
(not everyone doesn't care about respect)

Greatfullheart:
Because Of Too Much Thinking or maybe He Has A New Catch. God Help I Know I'll Never Lay Finger On My Wife, i Rather Home Angry and Go Somewhere to Clear My Head. And Later Figure Things Out

All dt na story biko. U never jam woman who will lock d door, throw the key out of d window and lock ur shirt, shouting ''u will kee me today". When u jam Jezebel's great granddaughter, u will regret coming across 'woman' in ur life!

Just pray God gives u ur own missing bone. Nowadays, wife (and by extension - husband) materials are extremely scarce.

It's abominable to beat your wife, it's even worse beating your wife in front of the kids. That's a terrible low, just go and commit suicide. That's scarring the kids for life and imprinting an indelible image in their minds, for which you will forever be remembered for.

I still cannot comprehend why women stay with men who beat them, perhaps that's why I'm still single in my old age.

So confusing info...or not ordinary cos it makes no sense.

From my point of view, I think ur hubby snapped because he feels fed up with u always trying to control him n av it ur way.

Geez!! How can u tell a grown ass man to go n change like he was ur kid? To make matter worse, when he refused to do as u wanted, u asked him to snap a pic to c himself


OP, stop trying to control that ur man because he is fed up with it or more slaps r on their way o!

Overlordrichy:
It may be the way you told him to go and change his clothes (it may be that you told him to go and change his clothes the way you always tell your kids to go and change their clothes when there dressing is not right)
You said he went inside for like an hour (may be he is thinking about the way you talked to him...)
So he later kept your offense inside warmer for you �

So when you are now abt to leave, the way you told him to snap the family picture is not cool again that's when he now opened the warmer and beat the offense you have been offending him out of you.

Sorry abt all the story... It may be that the way you always tell your hubby to do something is disrespectful, please check the way you always talk to him
(not everyone doesn't care about respect)

U said it like it is. Women these days don't know d meaning of respect. I don't blame them because men these days don't demand respect.

Plead:



Shut up

midnighter:


Lol, I think you need to make some new friends! You dont know one of us must still arrange better date for one Saturday with you?

hahaha better date with you?

your hubby might be having a hard time in his place of work. i think you and hubby aint communicating like u used to. it happens to every men, when they having issues at work, they prefer being left alone to be able to think, but your hubby didnt act well. u guys need to talk things out if not more beating awaits u.

Once a beater, always a beater. You can manage the hurts and pains of a violent marriage.
You can stay.
But it will not get better. It was 6 years ago, after this it will be 3 years later until it gets to every month.
Root cause is a lack of self control. There were a thousand a one ways he could have dealt with an erring wife but he decided to lose control.
He will lose control again and again but if you can persevere then go ahead.
I hope you do not have a son because a lesson in marital violence has just been initiated.