‘OUR BLOOD NO JAM’

It’s a popular saying I’m certain you’ve heard or said yourself especially if you’re from or reside in Nigeria. It’s a common phrase we use when we do not naturally connect or when we have no reason why we click more with some people or someone.

Has something or someone ever caught your attention in seconds after meeting them?

Are you aware that science plays a role in who we’re attracted to?

Sometimes we meet people and immediately or overtime are able to establish a rapport with them. Other times, we meet people and we don’t just relate well with them even after a long time of knowing them and we can’t seem to find any logical explanation for that.

Here’s why we click more with some people than others:

Research has shown that the intensity of attraction or likeness we have towards people depends upon the number of things we have in common with them. And when we meet people for the first time, we constantly search (on a subconscious level) for similarities between us.

These similarities vary from facial features, smile, language, intellectuality, religion, beliefs, dress sense etc.

Immediately we’ve identified one or two similarities, we like them instantly (note that the brain is capable of doing this in microseconds).

Why do we click more with some people?

We feel (on the subconscious) they face the things we face, feel what we feel, make the same mistakes we make, fight similar battles we fight and even hide the same things we’re hiding; we feel like we’ve found someone just like us, someone from our ‘tribe’.

So we begin to crave their indulgence, we are freer with them hence we love to converse more with them.

The more things we have in common, the more we like them.

Now, how do you know when they like you too?

They smile when they talk to you


I hope by now, you can tell a plastic smile from a genuine smile? When someone likes you, they’ll smile at you when you talk sometimes even when you exchange mere glances (a grin or a slight smile will suffice). Most times, you’ll find yourself smiling back and in that instance, an ambience of friendship is created.

They’re willing to help you


When someone likes you, they can’t help but be favorably predisposed towards you. Such a person can go an extra mile for you. For instance, not everyone gets an extra copy of receipts from the bank when they make bill payments ��‍♀️.

You get to exchange contacts


This can happen immediately you met, the type we see in love scenes of movies. It can also take a while, sometimes it never happens, especially when your relationship with such person is strictly professional and fleeting hence their contact is not necessary.

To understand how much similarities influence why we click more with some people and vice versa, Donn Byrne, a renowned American psychologist developed a method known as ‘the phantom stranger technique’.

The procedure begins with participants completing a questionnaire about their attitudes on a variety of topics such as the use of nuclear weapons and etc.

Next, they take part in a ‘person-perception’ phase where they evaluate a person based on their responses to the same questionnaire.

By manipulating the degree of similarities between a person and a ‘phantom stranger’, Byrne was able to conclude that participants reported feeling more attracted to people who held similar attributes. This is why we click more with some people.

However, there are exceptions of course. One study found that the more familiar we become with people, the more we like them and even begin to find them more attractive. This should therefore explain why friends from the opposite sex may tend to develop feelings for each other after some time of being together.

Well, this article is inexhaustible, which is why I’d love to learn your opinions.

Do you believe we like people who bear similarities with us? Or do you have a contrary opinion?

Please feel free to drop a comment.

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Really enlightening

Elssa:
Really enlightening

Thank you