Ellipsoid:
Leaving her alone with your abusive mom who seems to be full of hatred for her is a bad idea. For her peace of mind and safety, do let her find another place to stay in the interim.

Bless you for that.
@ Op, Let your fiancee excuse you for the moment. You can't, you enjoy free boot y. Anyways, I have no advise to give you but I need to talk sense into that lady of yours. She should back off you. You are bad market from the beginning. She has not married you and she is being stressed already. From one wahala to another is what she will experience because your mother is not in support. Before you know it, the whole of your family will gang up against her.
It's better for her to stay on her own and rely on her creator if truly she has no one like you say.

Betakeshi:
Honour your father and mother so that your days may be long....

Doesn't mean you should be a foøl and let others run your life.

dominique:
Th fiance is seeing all sorts of red flags but will still jump into this marriage and will come online afterwards to come and wail about how her mother and sister in-law are about to ruin her marriage. My people say a bad spouse is manageable but bad in-laws (or in this case, ones that can't stand you) is hell. This op I'm seeing here won't be able to call his mum and sister to order when they start unleashing their wrath on her after they're married. It's better he lets her go

Well said. She should run.

If you dating a guy who's family hates you, kindly bad out o. I doubt this Op's fiancee will enjoy her marriage to d Op

Betakeshi:
Honour your father and mother so that your days may be long....

You honor parents who actually honor themselves.

I hope your fiancé finds someone else.
Marrying you will be a bad idea.

Your mom is practicing self hate. Typical brainwashed self-hating african who exalts lighter skin over darker skin. Pitiable

The choice of a wife is yours and not your mum's. Off course advice can be taken from her but not when it is obviously irrelevant and flimsy. Your mum prefers fair ladies...is she the one marrying her?

About the living arrangement, let your fiancee go somewhere else for now if she can. When your mum is tired and there's no one(your fiancee) to assist with housework, she will go.

Know that whoever you marry...fair, dark, from the same village or not, your mother will still trying to cause trouble. So don't give her room to interfere

1) you should marry the girl before living permanently with her.
2) if your mother gave a valid reason for not liking your fiancee, I would have said, consider her opinion but to say she doesn't like your fiancee because she is dark skinned and "ugly", then your mother is shallow.

Personally shallow people really annoy me.

In conclusion, your mother's control will eventually frustrate you. Even if you don't end up marrying this girl, the next girl will face same challenges.

If your mothers only reason of being against your marriage is because the girl is dark skinned and "won't birth beautiful children", then pls that is not a valid reason.

I am not saying marry the girl, who am I to choose for you. Make up your mind and draw some lines. If you marry her, she becomes a legal occupant in the house, for now, she is illegal and you are sinning. All the best.

amanda2013:
If am in her shoes, I wouldn't even allow your mum to meet me in your house not to talk of staying and dragging space with her. She is your fiance not your wife so please allow her to go and stay with her friend. If you ask your mum to leave no matter how polite you sound ,she will definitely say you are chasing her out of your house cause of your fiance and she will hate the girl the more .

Hehehe, the girl get mind sha.
Op eeh, you want to cause a very big problem for your lady. Asking your mum to leave NOW because of a girlfriend will be a very very bad idea and a grave mistake, please don’t.
If you do, you’ll be starting a war for your fiancée that’ll eventually leave her burnt out in the end.

The irony is that you’ll be exonerated while the babe will take the fall for it and everybody in your household will join in the operation kick the bi.tch out of our brother’s house campaign . If somehow they fail to succeed, she’ll still not be at peace with your family and no woman wants to go through that.

Babe should go find some other place to stay ASAP. You need to let her go for the good of everyone in the picture. She can go back to her sister’s, I’m almost positive she won’t be kicked out, siblings fight and make up after all, but if this is far-fetched, she can go put up with her friends until the coast is clear.

Your mum is there to chase the girl away and you must give her the illusion that she has succeeded for peace to return. Only when babe leaves will your mum leave that house and you should stop making things more complicated.

Francis609:
I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore

How your lady let your mother come to meet her in the house is puzzling.

What does she mean by she has nowhere to stay? No family? Friends? Relatives? Nothing?

See, one needs to give him/herself a great deal of self-respect to avoid certain issues.

You better let her go where she wants to go.

You need to draw boundaries for your family anyways.

Until that lady becomes your Mrs., your mother is fine in your house.

It is the lady that will find her cube root.

Graxie:
Another single mom loading, boldly living with a man that is not her husband in one room even with the mom's presence. Who dey raise this girls? No dignity at all. Kai!!!

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Lol, girlfriend fighting mother of boyfriend for space.

What insolence...

Your fiance should leave, not your mum. And whenever you're ready to settle down, take her straight to your dad. I'm sure he'll approve.

dominique:
Th fiance is seeing all sorts of red flags but will still jump into this marriage and will come online afterwards to come and wail about how her mother and sister in-law are about to ruin her marriage. My people say a bad spouse is manageable but bad in-laws (or in this case, ones that can't stand you) is hell. This op I'm seeing here won't be able to call his mum and sister to order when they start unleashing their wrath on her after they're married. It's better he lets her go

U beat me to it.

I will thank my stars and run leaving my shoes behind.

crackkhaus:
Lol, girlfriend fighting mother of boyfriend for space.

What insolence...

Nothing insolence about this at all.
Mum will torture that guy because of the sins of his father. She is overly possessive cos when she lost her husband, her first son automatically became her husband excluding the other side that's why she can manipulate the guy easily.
If this woman has a capable man handling her after her divorce and is so deep into her, she will have no time for this and not be like this.
Fiance already want to go and stay with friends.
Look at all her excuses, she simply want her out and nobody will be ok except one she handpicked and can easily control.

Another mum will be checking her out if she don carry belle and here she is trying to drive her away.
She can open let her son enter so she can be happy.
If u missed out in emotional happiness,don't be a stumbling block to others. Or better,Go and get yours.
Parents or not. Na only she be mother?

I know u guys love una mama so well but some mothers, oh heaven.

Why are you camping a girl, having sex, committing abortion, and turning her to expired goods when you haven't married her? inside one room you still camp your mother, nephew and sexx mate together. Smh

sassysure:

Nothing insolence about this at all.
Mum will torture that guy because of the sins of his father. She is overly possessive cos when she lost her husband, her first son automatically became her husband excluding the other side that's why she can manipulate the guy easily.
If this woman has a capable man handling her after her divorce and is so deep into her, she will have no time for this and not be like this.
Fiance already want to go and stay with friends.
Look at all her excuses, she simply want her out and nobody will be ok except one she handpicked and can easily control.

Another mum will be checking her out if she don carry belle and here she is trying to drive her away.
She can open let her son enter so she can be happy.
If u missed out in emotional happiness,don't be a stumbling block to others. Or better,Go and get yours.
Parents or not. Na only she be mother?

I know u guys love una mama so well but some mothers, oh heaven.

This is not even about the mother or the guy, they have their own problems.
I'm only trying to figure out exactly what is going on inside the mind of the girl...

Like, how is she even comfortable dragging space with the mother of a man she's not married to?
If the guy's mother did not like her because of her complexion before, then this stupidity will definitely take it up a notch to hatred because she's claiming right in a place where she has absolutely none.

crackkhaus:

This is not even about the mother or the guy, they have their own problems.
I'm only trying to figure out exactly what is going on inside the mind of the girl...

Like, how is she even comfortable dragging space with the mother of a man she's not married to?
If the guy's mother did not like her because of her complexion before, then this stupidity will definitely take it up a notch to hatred because she's claiming right in a place where she has absolutely none.

Haba
She is not dragging space na. Remember the mother was supposed to leave since. And she has accommodation problem. Besides bobo don't want her to go anywhere.
She is his fiance for heaven's sake.
Mother don't like her. Period.
That's why she can't tolerate her.
If that babe had a better choice since, she for don bolt cos she knew mum hates her.
And I'm sure she is trying to woo her.
As e no work, las las na to leave so peace go rain. If she leaves, she will weigh her option to continue or not.

She didn't do wrong as her situation was dire.

We Nigerian mothers take this motherhood as some special thing that accords us special rights.
If na oyibo, she will inform her child before coming to visit and if him and his fiance didnt agree on her coming, that's the end of the matter o.
Unnecessary interference in the lives of your children because u born them.
Shuuu.
Why can't u be happy for your child because he found happiness?

I just hate that.

sassysure:

Haba
She is not dragging space na. Remember the mother was supposed to leave since. And she has accommodation problem. Besides bobo don't want her to go anywhere.
She is his fiance for heaven's sake.
Mother don't like her. Period.
That's why she can't tolerate her.
If that babe had a better choice since, she for don bolt cos she knew mum hates her.
And I'm sure she is trying to woo her.
As e no work, las las na to leave so peace go rain. If she leaves, she will weigh her option to continue or not.

She didn't do wrong as her situation was dire.

We Nigerian mothers take this motherhood as some special thing that accords us special rights.
If na oyibo, she will inform her child before coming to visit and if him and his fiance didnt agree on her coming, that's the end of the matter o.
Unnecessary interference in the lives of your children because u born them.
Shuuu.
Why can't u be happy for your child because he found happiness?

I just hate that.

Ok oo, I hear you...

Betakeshi:
Honour your father and mother so that your days may be long....

The Bible also said parents should not anger their children

crackkhaus:

Ok oo, I hear you...

Better o

Me, I no dey waste time, I don run be that
Ben Johnson.

I dey fear this type of mothers wella
If the guy eventually marry me tomorrow, any misfortune the guy experience is my fault
She need better man to handle her and she will never remember her son and fiance again

Op, with your mother, you will never have a settled home even if she matchemakes you, you will find no peace of mind in any relationship. Her choice of a wife is not yours, and yours is not hers hence there will be problem for any lady that walks into your family as a wife. Your kind of mother is a contradiction to human history. She is the type that has ended up giving good and loving mothers out there, bad name. There are lots of loving good mother inlaws.

sassysure:



Better o

Me, I no dey waste time, I don run be that
Ben Johnson.

I dey fear this type of mothers wella
If the guy eventually marry me tomorrow, any misfortune the guy experience is my fault
She need better man to handle her and she will never remember her son and fiance again

They will tell the man he was warned.

crackkhaus:

They will tell the man he was warned.

We told you syndrome.
Chai Naija and In-Laws matter.
I tire i swear.
Me i no get time.

amanda2013:
If am in her shoes, I wouldn't even allow your mum to meet me in your house not to talk of staying and dragging space with her. She is your fiance not your wife so please allow her to go and stay with her friend. If you ask your mum to leave no matter how polite you sound ,she will definitely say you are chasing her out of your house cause of your fiance and she will hate the girl the more .

Francis609, listen to this advice. As long as you are not legally married to your girlfriend your mother has more right to be in your house than her. Kindly let her go and squat with her friend temporarily and afterwards can return after your mum has left the house. Don't ask your mum to leave. I REPEAT, don't ask your mum to leave because of your girlfriend otherwise there will never be peace between them.

You stoop to conquer.

missimelda01:
Op are you scared of talking to your mom? Biko talk sense into her politely, you are a man for God's sake. And for those people saying she should go and stay with her friends, was your eyes blinded to the fact that she has no where else to go?

I personally don't support cohabiting before marriage, but since that's the only option I think it's okay... Afterall they are engaged. Whether one room or 5 rooms, they are both happy with each other and they are also working hard to change things.

Were your eyes also blinded to where he wrote that she said she has friends she can squat with?

Your mom might have seen something you don't know when we youngsters cut a tree in the bush those elders know where it's going to fall down to
Just leave the girl
Challenges may come up between you both during marriage your mom won't fill shit for you
Because she will tell you about being warned from the start

amanda2013:
If am in her shoes, I wouldn't even allow your mum to meet me in your house not to talk of staying and dragging space with her. She is your fiance not your wife so please allow her to go and stay with her friend. If you ask your mum to leave no matter how polite you sound ,she will definitely say you are chasing her out of your house cause of your fiance and she will hate the girl the more .

Too much wisdom no go kill you my girl

Francis609:
I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore

At this stage, you have to be very careful about your mum

She is seriously serious and you must e careful

Pls allow your fiance to go and squat with her friends

When she goes, reduce your spending at home to the extent that I'd she ask for money, tell her that your salary isn't enough for your transportation to work that since your girlfriend started dating you she has been the one assisting you and you saw her as a God sent and that the money you gave your sister for school fees she was the one that brought half of it, that she should endure and manage with you

Don't allow her to manipulate your happiness

You know the reason your mom is still around is because she is still there ( fiancée)
Allow her to go squat with friends for now. Until your mom leaves.
In another note, why are you living with her? Next thing na, you two will start making babies, be careful ooo, go and pay her bride price.

If your mom loves in the same city and if you're not working due to the shutdown, you and your fiance could move to your mom's house.

Since she has decided to take over your own house.

Francis609:
I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore