Chi59:
They're coming for you. The boys who are still tied to mummy's skirt. They'll drag you for trying to state that a wife comes before a mother. You better run

If not for the way men worship pussy nowadays, do you think it's justifiable placing your girlfriend ovr your own mother?

Let me ask you this: can you place your husband over your mum?

missimelda01:
True to an extent.

It still bothers me how a mother can reject a lady her son has spent time knowing, does it mean that she doesn't trust his judgement or something. Obi is gonna be a man someday and would need a mind of his own, women should know where to draw the line.

When it's time for your son to get married, then you can revisit this comment

tk4rd:
The final decisions of any man is being influenced most of the time by the opinions of the women in his life.

At every stage in life, the order of importance of the opinions of these women vary a lot.
With this topic, I tried to pinpoint these stages in a man's life and the order of importance of the opinions of these women in his life.
..
1. Long Before Marriage.
a. Mother
b. Sisters
c. Girlfriends
..
2. Close To Marriage.
a. Mother
b. Fiancée
c. Sisters
..
3. Immediately Into The Marriage
a. Wife
b. Mother
c. Sisters
..
4. When The Children Are All Grown
a. Wife
b. Daughters
c. Mother
...
...
5. Randy Husband
a. Wife
b. Girlfriend
c. Mother
..
6. Crazy Husband
a. Girlfriend(s).
...
Ok..
This now brings me to the argument about why mothers have a very big opinion in the choosing of life-partners of their sons.
..
Assuming that it was a decision that would affect the man alone such as business, place of work, investments, projects and so on, he has the liberty Not to involve anybody, nor seek anybody's opinion, and nobody would say anything about it.
..
But in the case of choosing a life partner, the man's family will definitely be involved. Both families will be involved. Kindreds are involved too.

The man in an attempt to carry his family along, would go to seek his father's opinion. His father would then discuss with his own wife and his other grown children (that is, the man's mother and brothers and sisters).

After that, the man's mother (wife of the man's father) who now knows what the problem of the son is, would now make out time to talk to him in a language he would understand better, which includes knowing more about the lady in question, and having her invited over at the house once or twice for series of one-on-one interactions with her.

And trust me, if the fiancée had not done her homework well, and it happens that the man's mother doesn't like what she sees in the lady, the mother can easily talk her son out of it, and the fiancée's opinion cannot do much at this point because the man's father will support his own wife (the man's mother), and the man in question wouldn't want to be against his father.
..
Meanwhile, a woman's family can also reject a man they don't like too., but there must be strong reasons for that to happen.

If a woman's family happens to reject a suitor and the woman went ahead to bring him home, they would reject the bride price openly, and there would not be any marriage rites performed again.

This particular topic about women would be discussed another day anyway.

I am more interested in the men for now.

The question is ; can your wife prioritize you over her own mother?

missimelda01:
True to an extent.

It still bothers me how a mother can reject a lady her son has spent time knowing, does it mean that she doesn't trust his judgement or something. Obi is gonna be a man someday and would need a mind of his own, women should know where to draw the line.

She doesnt trust the lady enough not to turn his son against him after marriage.

Wife and mother inlaw must be in good terms for the overall success of the relationship

That's true to some extent

HeliotJ:


The question is ; can your wife prioritize you over her own mother?

Very good question

NaijadrivaCars:

To most Mommy's boys/halfmen it is one stage all their lives:
a. Mother
b. Sisters
c. Girlfriends/wives

And their moms be like...

exactly my case right now. Treated like just a maid. It hurts.

Everyone should have their place, but there is really no need for an order of importance

Moreover, no one should be ranked higher in a man's life except they have earned it.

You can't assume that you are more important in a man's life simply because you are his wife. If you are rude and mannerless, no man will make you an important part of his life.

Nice write up...

ProfDview1:
I eunt say anytin until Mart.inez39 Omar09 ub.unja Ar.iza MZr.apper LadyG.CrueDKilaB Paxie55 talk first

Could be true.

When the chips are down. You will know that blood is thicker than water. A wife may leave you when money is not flowing as usual. But your mother will never leave you

jericco1:


Yeah.. will the amount of money reduce if she should have a say?

Wise up bro....ur mom will never support you financially

Evercurious:


But we all know that some ladies do manipulate the guys . so his decisions could be impaired which we all know as women.. So dont blame mothers a times.. WE DONT NEED TO PRETEND NOT TO KNOW WHAT SOME LADIES CAN DO. DO WE?

Happy this is coming from a lady. ..but no matter what ,its good to consider your parents advice when it comes to marital choice

Evercurious:


But we all know that some ladies do manipulate the guys . so his decisions could be impaired which we all know as women.. So dont blame mothers a times.. WE DONT NEED TO PRETEND NOT TO KNOW WHAT SOME LADIES CAN DO. DO WE?

No doubts, but you know there are few cases where a mother manipulates her own son. My point is the man in question should be able to weigh his options and make his final decision regardless of which female that gets hurt.

adexpa:


What parents sees sitting, kids will never see even clamping Kilimanjaro(mother does because they are the ones that always take spiritual things serious, fathers don't really care). My own opinion is that parents should involve in their children's activities early enough before it will get to verge of decision before they will come up with their observations and aside spiritual issue, I don't think tribal issue should be their reasons. Many youths don't take spiritual issues serious this days. That you are not compatible spiritually doesn't mean the girl/boy is bad, they are not just compatible spiritually n they have to accept that and move on to the right person..... No need staying in relationship for long before clarifying that kind of things. Don't glue yourselves emotionally and sexually before clarifying key issues.


On what op wrote, I have some men who decided their life themselves up until they get married... They do not allow sisters or mothers to come in.... They are not common...they are called Omo odo agba (I am talking from experience)

I like this, the best thing is for the families to get involved in the relationship early before it gets too far. Nice input.

Wayne4uall:


Wise up bro....ur mom will never support you financially

Which of my post did you see that asks for my mum's financial support? You the one that needs to wise up

NaijadrivaCars:

To most Mommy's boys/halfmen it is one stage all their lives:
a. Mother
b. Sisters
c. Girlfriends/wives

And their moms be like...

Nigerian ladies, if you smell "Mummy's boy", runnnnnnnnnnn!

HeliotJ:


If not for the way men worship pussy nowadays, do you think it's justifiable placing your girlfriend ovr your own mother?

Let me ask you this: can you place your husband over your mum?

If not that you are short sighted, I would have answered you. Scurry along, boy.

This is a good topic to discuss. You are 100% right. The place of a mother in a man's life can never be overemphasized. The prayer of every man is to have a good mother. If she is, be assured she wants the best for you. Love her unconditionally as you will love ur wife.

Take heart o.

Fynchi:
exactly my case right now. Treated like just a maid. It hurts.

Nnemuka:
idiotic post

How idiotic

HeliotJ:


The question is ; can your wife prioritize you over her own mother?

It is very very possible too...
A good wife hardly seek the opinion of her people before she makes her decisions, but she would more likely seek the opinion of her husband.

Semaj77:



For most men , their daughters become number one once they are born

I'm telling you..
But when it comes to decisions, the opinions of the little daughters wouldn't count though

Plead:


Trash. Stupid generalizations.

Is there any person who generalized anything here??
You just came here and showed how truly stupid you are.

TemmyT002:

This is deep

That's how I saw it.

Ebidosia:






At this stage in my life, my daughters count before my mum before my wife.

Wooww..!!
Your wife came last here??

She must be so far away from you emotionally, and in family/marital communications..

Rozz:
make God the most important and you will live happily ever after

We are talking about women for now, not spirits, nor even the males..
No.
It's Just Women for now.

Reelmii:
what are u trying to achieve with this....are we supposed to larf or wat exactly

Gerraouwtt.!!
You are supposed to read and understand,, or read and scroll past it.

NaijadrivaCars:
To most Mommy's boys/HALFMEN, it is one stage all their lives: a. Mother b. Sisters c. Girlfriends/wives
And their moms be like...

You got me laughing my head off..

missimelda01:
True to an extent.

It still bothers me how a mother can reject a lady her son has spent time knowing, does it mean that she doesn't trust his judgement or something. Obi is gonna be a man someday and would need a mind of his own, women should know where to draw the line.

Please are you on Facebook?

Hisincrease:
Rubbish!

Ever since I left home at 19, God and my conscience have been the only ones that influence my life.

My mother did her part then but I don't have a sister or GF.

We trust God and move.

When you are married, just remember this thread..
And please, try to also remember the role your mum played while you were choosing your wife.