THE UNPAID PACKAGE: Their voice , your choice
Hey, ladies and gent on a lighter mood let's gather round and have a round table discussion. OK guys have you ever been within the circle of your friends in the cool of the evening as you seep that chilled drink while you watch that manchester united game and when its over the dude at the table begins to narrate how Vivian has been acting up lately without picking her calls or returning the calls and even ignores his chat all because a recent issue between them , there you go, the married dude with the diamond ring continues the story narrating how his lovely cherry has turned to vinegar nagging daily of what he is not doing and how unhappy she feels about his recent attitude and the only way to escape her complaint is to hang out and sneak into the house at the dead of night to sleep not minding whether he is hungry or not. How about the ladies hang out time when making their hair at the salon(the center of aproko unlimited with hot and spicy topics to gist )and ifeoma narrates how her fiancée refuses to give her money to foot her bills and always complaining that he has no money to give her, I guess the money for the hair resulted to a fight and an unknown lady laments about how her husband has been spending time on his phone without spending much time with her , trust the ladies they dish out those fearful words" he is cheating on you'' like a chorus. "Relationship wahala" the thing tire person my dear will always be the summarising sentence of the discussion.
We all have circle of friends or close pals we share moments with outside our spouse and sometimes share our relationship problems with either to get empathy or advice but hey young dude and cherry can you step out of that circle for a moment and let's talk. Now youve done that , know this the chat with friends in the cool of evening and the unending relationship topic and complain ends with diverse unpaid advice from friends. Let's see this scenario,the phone rings Mr Albert picks the call , so delighted like one who has won a jackpot he picks his car keys and heads towards the door without informing nobody, steps into his car and zoom off finally he is going to stay away from his troublesome wife and have a moment of peace. Albert gets to the event center, chill with his friends heartily and begins the story tale of his nagging wife and her annoying act, he explain his state of emotions and feelings for his wife, expresses his pain by taking more bottles of liquor and there the unpaid advice begins to flow from his friends who seems to have a reserved package with contents of their relationship experience packaged in that box as a gift to be given out to anyone who cares for it, at the end of the day, watch this Albert steps into his car alone with the package (advice) residing within the board of his mind as he drives home . Meanwhile charity has called her friend narrating how Albert left home without having dinner or telling her about where he is going to and how he comes home late in the night and here you go another package of advice and comment will be given out as the conversation comes to an end. As crisis continues to occur and linger in the relationship, the reserved packaged is brought out from the safe box of their mind and applied by Albert and charity on their relationship unknowingly which might either quench their flame of love or reignite the fire of love they once had depending on the content of the package they have received.
Relationship isnt just beautiful but dramatic viewed by spectators whom I call the unpaid counsellors giving out suggestion on how your love story should look like, feel like and be like when their opinion is needed . They display their role effectively especially when tragic events begins to occur within the relationship and your love story takes a twist from the original script which have been imagined and well laid out by you from the inception of the relationship. There views becomes strong when you hand over your will power of decision to them. Marriage is the only enterprise that doesn't admit a third party or circle of friends. Let's get it right, the bond we create with our friends is essential, as no man is an highland and sometimes we are faced with life challenges that the support of our loved ones , closed pals is needed as we journey through life but from the time of creation when God instituted marriage he made it an affair for just two ( the husband and his wife) . I know marriage and relationship comes with its own challenges, but never forget that you are the board of director of your own enterprise ( marriage). And the success of your marriage is your sole responsibility and not a community social responsibility. Many marital and relationship decisions has been made from the reserved packages received from circles of friends which we are left alone to ponder and draw our decisions from based on their advice but do not forget that these unpaid advice given freely like palliatives comes from the relationship knowledge and experience these circles of friends have undergone. Am not saying their ideas or counselling isn't the best or can't help build or reform marriages going through a challenging phase in life but sometimes we end up experiencing and seeing the reverse situation on such challenging homes leading to a divorce ( a big scar that cannot be forgotten).
Hey, cherry and Mr macho I just want you to know that you are the director of your love story and in the midst of these tragedy which may get to its peak that makes you feel like giving up on what you once believed(love) ,having a resentful attitude towards that adoring spouse of yours which you couldn't spend a day without hearing from him/her and drooling over their unique qualities, the power still lies in your hand to determine the end point of your love movie. You are the decision maker having the ability to seive and filter every petty advice you get regarding your challenging phase in marriage through the word. No one can make it better and achieve a blissful home for you except you. You both have been separated from your circles of friends to work it out together and never forget that the creator of this beautiful instution is still always there to help you when you seek him.personally I strongly know that the antidote to fight those unwanted plague that raises its head in every marriage lies in the scripture. Yes, the difference in background ,beliefs, culture, mindset and lifestyle may come to play in marriage but see yourself as two different personalities driving a car heading towards the same direction with the manual of the word as a guide by your side,though the car might be faulty as you journey together but the manual is still there to be used when the tension rises and still keep you calm and in deeper situation where it can't be repaired , then there is need to call on the best engineer to fix it which is Christ and he is always willing to help and his uniqueness is that he recognises the problem, fix it and helps the journey become smoother and when the parts begins to wear off he replaces them but that's if the owners of the vehicle decide to ask for his help and are willing to apply every advice he gives. Circles of friends may come with their own ideas without experience and better mindset but you have the will power to decide whether to make it work or rely on making decision from the reserved packages received from people.No good director allows the ideas of the viewers or audience to determine the end point of their movie cause he know the script more better than the auduence and he knows what he wants to achieve from the movie so also it is applicable in your love story. Its too late for your relationship or marriage to fail, you haven't come this far with your cherry and sugarplum by your side and letting it go all because of a storm which will pass if you submit to Gods word and apply his principles on it. See bae and boo , step out of that circle of friends,drop every single gift of advice that comes from them as a reserved package, hold on to your spouse, look him/ her in the eyes , you will see the fire of love hiding in those eyes waiting to come out, keep the scripture between you, spend time with the word and make it work by applying the instructions on that manual, hey I know it might be difficult cause of the hurt,anger and resentment towards each other but remember that the effect of a broken home is more severe than that little marital challenge that can be solved with just a hug, kiss and a romantic apology.
Its too late for that marriage to fail. Its too early to give up on your berry and macho man. Its never too late to drop those baggage of unproductive advice and tell your spouse how much you love him or her in the midst of that chaos. Couples awake and paint a beautiful marital image/portrait with a true meaning of love. Welcome to a new love era lovebirds.