Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self image and attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
Grandiose sense of self-importance. ...
Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur. ...
Needs constant praise and admiration. ...
Sense of entitlement. ...
Exploits others without guilt or shame. ...
Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others.

Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships

Love bombing is the practice of showering a person with excessive affection and attention in order to gain control or significantly influence their behavior. The love bomber's attention might feel good, but the motive is all about manipulation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhILcuoVhgE

Abandonment To give up on, leave, or desert another whether physically or emotionally. Typically with reference to narcissistic abuse, the term is used regarding abandonment from primary caregivers in childhood, or from other significant relationship where reliable and constant interdependence is a reasonable expectation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AddQhttqRyM

Abuse by Proxy: The manipulation, either directly or indirectly, of third parties to undertake abuse on behalf of the narcissist. Typically used with reference to flying monkeys, this may for example, include direct abuse such as ostracising the target, or perpetuating smear campaigns. Indirect abuse- by-proxy can occur by third parties by reinforcing trauma sustained by the target. This can include for example, disbelieving the victim.

Antisocial Personality Disorder:
Failure to obey laws and norms by engaging in behavior which results in criminal arrest, or would warrant criminal arrest
Lying, deception, and manipulation, for profit or self-amusement
Impulsive behavior
Irritability and aggression, manifested as frequently assaults others, or engages in fighting
Blatantly disregards safety of self and others
A pattern of irresponsibility
Lack of remorse for actions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89pvI7n9xU0

Baiting Baiting is the narcissist’s deliberate act of provoking emotions and reactions to confirm their superiority and power over others. This is a tactic used to secure supply.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HNK07Khk9w

Boundaries Our personal rules around what works and doesn’t work for us emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. Boundaries guide us and determine our limitations on how others behave towards us (as well as how we behave towards ourselves), protecting us to ensure our safety and wellbeing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZrcEmRafwM

Cluster B personality disorders Grouping of mental disorders that includes Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder. These are characterised by being highly emotional and dramatic, and unpredictable thinking and behaviours.

Codependency A pattern of enabling and controlling behaviours due to self-esteem being dependent on the behaviours, emotions, and needs of others. The pattern of behaviour arises in relationships where the other party has compulsive or addictive behaviours, is otherwise ill, or as a result of dysfunction and/or abuse in families-of-origin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AkSWIquoaQ


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpYXjQiFEVc

cc farano, Rocktation

Cognitive dissonance A state of anxiety and discomfort arising from holding opposing beliefs at the same time. The resulting confusion and distress, motivates the need to resolve the contradiction in any way necessary, whether this be by creating differing belief systems, or questioning one’s grasp on reality. This is a key underlying effect of gaslighting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l58hj6Kyvyg

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) Occurs through ongoing, repeated exposure to trauma such as abuse or abandonment from a primary caregiver, or from other significant interpersonal relationships. The symptoms of C-PTSD can include:
hypervigilance
difficulties with regulating emotion
dissociation, flashbacks, disconnection from people and surroundings
feelings of helplessness, terror, rage and shame
distrust of others
withdrawal/isolation
depression
difficulty sleeping

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeQ8bgUAnFg

Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse Narcissistic Personality Disordered individuals follow a pattern within relationships covering three phases: idealisation, devaluation and discard.
Idealisation is all about worship and adoration. One is “love bombed” receiving incredibly fast declarations of undying love, constant reminders of the unparalleled love shared, and intense focus on meeting victim’s needs.
This is starkly contrasted with devaluation where the abusive narcissist does a 180 and deliberately conveys contempt to disempower the victim and keep them insecure about the relationship.
Discard delivers on threats embedded in devaluation, by rejecting and abandoning the victim.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcDDqpQC5Xg

Deflection A control strategy used when attempts are made to hold the narcissist to account, to steer discussion away from the issue. Tactics could include gaslighting, stonewalling, projection or change of topic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgYrGjtp82g

Denial Defence mechanism used when an individual is unable to cope with the reality of an event, experience, thought or emotion by either believing or pretending that it did not happen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lsj_8v_-Jk4

Devaluation This is the second phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle. Devaluation contrasts starkly with idealisation, where the narcissist deliberately seeks to undermine and disempower the victim and keep them insecure in the relationship by using control and power based manipulations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oik4IsgQ4uk

Discard This is the final phase of the narcissist’s cycle of abuse, where the threats made in the devaluation phase are carried out by rejecting and abandoning the victim.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb536sIT69E

DMS-V Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition. (2013). Published by the American Psychiatric Association for the diagnosis and classification of recognised mental disorders, used by mental health practitioners (clinicians) and researchers.

Domestic Violence Domestic Violence is perpetrated through patterns of coercive and controlling behaviour to maintain power within a relationship. This includes (and is not limited to) all acts of abuse that are sexual, physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, financial, legal and spiritual, that result in harm or suffering.
Domestic Violence encompasses intimate partner relationships, as well as those within family systems. For example, within families-of-origin and partner families from parents and siblings alike; and more broadly in extended families for many cultures.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guih2Ymy9G0

DoNM Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother

Enabler An individual, often codependent, who supports negative and unhealthy behaviour of the other party in a relationship either overtly or covertly, through rescuing behaviour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz6jf5gLlWk

Enmeshment A relationship between people or groups of people where boundaries are unclear, poorly defined, and permeable – occasionally, boundaries can be completely absent. In these relationships individual identity is compromised, and ownership and responsibility for emotions is confused between parties.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMyM8v5KVes

These are the same narcissists you sleep with while friendzoning the good men. Smh.

Exploitativeness Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (and Antisocial Personality Disorder) are frequently exploitative in interpersonal relationships, which relates to using others as objects to achieve personal gain. The pervasiveness of this in narcissistic abusive relationships is underpinned by their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy.

Fauxpology The narcissist’s version of an apology, devoid of sincerity, accountability or empathy. It is used as a hoovering tactic to mitigate potential loss of supply (i.e.: you), when what lies behind the mask is at risk of being exposed

Flying monkeys Third parties recruited by the narcissist to perpetuate abuse on their behalf. Flying monkeys are enablers and supporters of the narcissist, believing in their manipulations. These guys protect and defend the narc, and are frequently used to spread further the effects of smear campaigns or to gather information sought by the narcissist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDclCIFQML8

Future-faking Future-faking are statements made about intentions and plans that support the pathological narcissist’s beliefs regarding their grandiosity. It is used both to bolster their own self-beliefs, as well as to mould the beliefs of others regarding who they are. Within narcissistic abuse, future-faking is found in idealisation and the love bombing stage, as well as throughout devaluation as a hoovering technique through for example, false promises.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMaZLBKNko

Gaslighting The manipulation of information and/or the environment to confuse the victim into questioning their perception of reality and mental health.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVBdWSPXyRw

Ghosting A strategy used to discard you when the narc decides your supply no longer meets their needs. Ghosting is a disappearing act, sudden & unexplained. Your existence is in effect deleted from theirs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1zQrViVj3s

Golden child Favoured child of narcissistic parent who is given special attention and privileges. The Golden Child in a family can ‘do no wrong’, and receives projections from the narcissistic parent such as being superior, ‘better than’ others, including other children within the family. The Golden Child is continuously idealised.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8VQR4-ZXjU

Grandiosity Grandiosity is a key belief of the pathological narcissist, and one of the diagnostic criteria of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the DSM-V. It is the unfounded belief of being superior and ‘better than’ others; and of being unique, special, or ‘more than’ others. This inflated view of the self is articulated through exaggerations or through outright pathological lying.

Grey rock A method used for protection to deny narcissistic supply and minimise opportunity to be manipulated. Information shared about personal matters, thoughts and emotions is limited. Providing minimal, neutral responses and ceasing to ask the narc any questions about themselves encourages loss of interest in maintaining the victim as a form of supply.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly0EfWUYArU

Grooming Grooming is the process of incrementally lowering your boundaries, and increasing isolation for the purpose of creating vulnerability. This tactic used by narcissistically abusive individuals also simultaneously focuses on building trust. By eradicating boundaries, support systems and fostering trust, this facilitates the abuse to occur with lowered risk of impediment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jguzYen7FTY

Hoovering Hoovering a.k.a ‘sucking victims back in’ is used in devaluation as intermittent reinforcement to maintain control over relationship. Applying irregular bursts of love bombing during abuse keeps hope alive for victims that the relationship could improve and the narc really is a good person underneath it all. Post discard, hoovering is used to hook victims back into the relationship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFlyIz75JwA

Hypervigilance When in a state of ‘fight or flight’, sensory awareness is heightened with mind and body on high alert to the present danger. In PTSD & C-PTSD, this becomes chronic where the individual is in effect stuck in this state, continuously expecting and scanning for threats.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZQNPaolsyg

Idealisation Initial phase in the cycle of narcissistic abuse where the victim is worshipped and adored. ‘Love bombing’ takes place with overly rapid declarations of undying love, constant reminders of the unparalleled love shared, and intense focus on meeting victim’s needs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CL6sJGt7oLs

Intermittent reinforcement Intermittent reinforcement is used in operant conditioning as a learning tool in behavioural psychology. It is the irregular and unpredictable provision of reward for desired behaviour. This approach is known to produce the greatest effort from subjects in pursuing said desired behaviour. Within the context of narcissistic abuse, it is applied as a powerful form of manipulation creating trauma bonding used within devaluation to maintain control over targets by ‘sweetening’ the abuse haphazardly. By doing this, one ‘holds on’ waiting for the next hit of sweetness from the narcissist. It also reinforces the belief that if ones tries hard enough, the relationship, and the narcissist can be ‘fixed’.

Intimate Partner Violence ‘Behaviour by an intimate partner or ex-partner that causes physical, sexual or psychological harm, including physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviours’

Intimacy Avoidance Narcissists have avoidant attachment styles, maintain distance in relationships and claim not to need others.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30mNhZEow6s

Invalidation Invalidation is the product of an absence of empathy. It is the act of purposefully denying, rejecting, negatively judging, and/or ignoring expressed experience, thoughts, actions, or emotions. It can be overt as is typical in aggressive bullying tactics, as well as covert, subtle & insidious as seen in gaslighting. Invalidation is at the core of all abuse whether physical, psychological, emotional and/or sexual.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSB56DlWbBc

Isolation Removal of human, emotional, psychological, physical and/or financial resources to heighten victim dependence on the narcissist. This strategy is used to maximise control over victims.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diMalE5mQBY

Learned helplessness Learned helplessness occurs through the repeated exposure to painful stimuli, which the individual is unable to avoid, as evidenced in narcissistically abusive relationships. Learned helplessness causes a pervasive sense of hopelessness due to the belief that individual control to change the situation is not possible, to the extent that if presented with opportunities to escape these will not be taken. Learned helplessness is debilitating and strongly linked with mental health conditions such as depression & anxiety. Learned helplessness breeds the sense of ‘giving up’.

Low contact (LC) When No Contact with a narcissist is not possible, for example due to shared parenting, family or work responsibilities, Low Contact is employed. This relates to minimal exposure to the narc, and maintaining strong boundaries. For some, LC may mean a couple of text messages per year, whilst for others it may mean limited interaction whilst going grey rock and emotionally withdrawing.

Magical thinking A term used in psychology and psychiatry that denotes the belief that thoughts and emotions can influence events in the external world. Magical thinking occurs during child development, and is also seen in some mental disorders such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), an anxiety disorder which can arise as a consequence of sustaining trauma including narcissistic abuse.

Marginalisation The inferior treatment of another to convey their insignificance and diminish their value, and to achieve social exclusion/isolation.

Mindfulness State of awareness & calm acceptance of the present moment, and of any thoughts, emotions and physical sensations.

Mobbing Mobbing typically occurs in dysfunctional family systems where Narcissistic Personality Disorder is present (or other Cluster B Personality Disorders), in toxic workplaces, schools and friendship circles. Mobbing is also referred to as bullying, the act of ‘ganging up’ on one individual, and psychological terrorism. It is intentional, malicious abuse that targets a designated scapegoat within a group, led by the pathological narcissist and support by their flying monkeys. The abuse commonly includes smear campaigns; blaming and projection of all real or imagined issues relating to the group and to its toxic members; overt demeaning and humiliating action; sabotage; and exclusion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If8ZvzZ00S8

Moving the goal posts Continuously shifting and redefining expectations so that they can never be met. This is a form of gaslighting and used to reinforce feelings of worthlessness.

Narcissistic FOG The term ‘FOG’ refers fear, obligation and guilt which the abusive narcissist seeks to instil in the victim through manipulation strategies in order to control them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N94ngc3ZlqA

Narcissistic injury Narcissistic injury occurs when the narc perceives that their concepts of grandiosity, superiority or power are threatened. Reactions to injury can include rage, paranoia, envy and/or general distress.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5aCmU7S2rM

Narcissistic mirroring Narcissistic mirroring is the mimicry of verbal and non-verbal behaviours of others; and reflecting the traits, behaviours, goals and preferences they believe their target seeks, in order to secure trust and admiration. Narcissistic mirroring is foundational to creating the illusion of ‘soul mates’ during the idealisation phase of narcissistic abuse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDiqw337Cwc

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
Requires excessive admiration.
Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectation of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).
Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).

Narcissistic rage Narcissistic rage is triggered by a narcissistic injury when the narc perceives that their concepts of grandiosity, superiority or power are threatened. Expressions range from minor annoyance through to violence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEyKLMMj-FA

Narcissistic supply Narcissistic ‘supply’ is both positive and negative attention that supports the survival of the fragile belief system of those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is the ‘hit’ of reinforcement that confirms their beliefs regarding their superiority, grandiosity, entitlement and omnipotence. Supply is ideally positive in nature, however, in the absence of this, negative attention suffices to confirm control and power over others. ‘Supply’ is the drug of choice for the narcissist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUnmx3tgKZI

No contact (NC) Removing all contact with the narcissist, including face to face, phone, email, letters, social media – all contact. No responding, no reaching out, nothing. Precipitating this significant and often extremely painful decision, is for protection and the desire to cease the cycle of abuse.

Omnipotence Inherent in the pathological narcissist’s belief of their superiority, is omnipotence which relates to being more powerful than others. To sustain the belief that this is reflective of who they are, underpinning all narcissistic manipulations is the need to continuously affirm their omnipotence, a.k.a. power and control, over others. To be ‘more than’ all others.

Parentification This is the developmentally inappropriate responsibility borne by children required to parent their own parents. The roles of parent/child are inversed, and the child is expected to satisfy the needs of the parent rather than the reverse.

Pity-plays A form of hoovering deployed to target your empathy and compassion, knowing that these are easily manipulated, with vulnerability subsequently guaranteed. For example using guilt to coerce you into engaging by playing the victim

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Reactions & behaviours developed from a traumatic event that threatens the life or safety of an individual or of those who surround them. The symptoms of PTSD can include:
hypervigilance
difficulties with regulating emotion
dissociation, flashbacks, disconnection from people and surroundings
feelings of helplessness, terror, rage and shame
distrust of others
withdrawal/isolation
depression
difficulty sleeping
The experience triggers chronic intense fear and/or helpessness, and is a form of anxiety disorder impairing significantly the individual’s daily life.

Projection The narcissist is unable to accept that they have any flaws. They use projection as a defense mechanism by attributing what is unacceptable in themselves, onto others.

Pushing your buttons ‘Pushing your buttons’ is the intentional targeting and exploitation of known vulnerabilities and trigger points. It is the act of triggering you for control & to secure negative supply.

Reacting vs. responding
Within the context of narcissistic abuse, reacting is immediate, reflexive, and leads with emotion. It’s typically triggered by an event or comment that directly targets or activates a wounded part of ourselves.
Responding is more measured and controlled, allowing for a level of detachment from the situation, and incorporates thought, rationality, as well as emotions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89pvI7n9xU0

Rumination Rumination is a form of repetitive thinking, that seeks to resolve a given trauma. This could be caused from loss, injustices, threats and/or any direct or indirect harm. Rumination is a symptom of many mental health challenges including depression, anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. All of these are prevalent in victims of Narcissistic Abuse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3BoZFaRr-c
Scapegoat Family member/s blamed for all negative issues within the family system, including any mistakes, faults, flaws etc. The Scapegoat often carries more responsibilities than other members of the family. They ‘can do no right’ and are continuously devalued.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rn3xhDni4w4

Self-differentiation process Developmental stage when a child understands the difference between their emotions and thoughts, creating awareness of self, and that these are separate from those of others who have their own experiences.

Self-invalidation Self-invalidation is the act of denying, rejecting, negatively judging, minimising and/or ignoring one’s own experience, thoughts, actions, or emotions. Within the context of Narcissistic Abuse, this occurs through the internalisation of the narcissist’s continuous invalidation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_O62UjU4zg

Separation-individuation process This occurs between mother (or other primary caregiver) and child, where the child progresses from being merged with and wholly reliant on her following birth to eventually becoming separate and autonomous mentally, physically, and psychologically.

Silent treatment Refusal to communicate as a form of punishment. Employed to convey your decreasing and contingent worth to the narcissist depending on your ability to meet their supply needs. Can run from hours, to days, to weeks, to months. However long it takes for you to learn your lesson and amp up provision of supply.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9biVbda-Pmk

Smear campaigns Intentionally spreading false information and gossip, to discredit, undermine, control and isolate victims.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2WCgiP5nz4

Splitting The inability for the narcissist to accept that all individuals (and themselves), include both negative and positive qualities. This results in the use of all-or-nothing or black & white thinking as a defence mechanism against the reality of the duality of human nature.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7EJbqoaf98

Stonewalling The deliberate withholding or withdrawal of information, emotions, or physical resources. This is used to maintain power and control over victims.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhIvZBUfpHo

Suicide prevention services near you For support with self-harm or suicidality, please contact your local suicide prevention service. For services near you please refer to the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) list of crisis services available globally, and online: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/.
If at any point you fear that you or anyone else is in imminent danger, contact emergency services immediately.

The 'soul mate' effect The ‘soul mate effect’ is the illusion created through love bombing during idealisation. The purpose is to hook you in as a source of supply; and groom you by simultaneously building your trust in them & eradicating your boundaries in preparation for devaluation.

Trauma bonding Trauma bonding creates powerful, unhealthy attachments to another who causes you harm.
It occurs in conditions where an individual is under threat psychologically or physically, and they perceive that their survival is dependent on their abuser. This could be due to isolation, and/or inability to escape from the situation. In addition to these circumstances, the victim also perceives that the abuser is intermittently kind towards them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmB9fpHVd2o

Triangulation Involvement of unrelated individuals into conflicts for the purpose of isolating victims further, for example, by gaining support from others for smear campaigns. It is also used to divide people by misrepresenting information and views of others in order to gain control, attention and/or support.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS4knTxthuI

Validation Validation is being present and supportive of another’s experience, by acknowledging their emotions, thoughts, and feelings without attempting to change them. In being validated we feel accepted, seen and heard by others, which in turn enables us to accept ourselves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFaipcfa3vU

Values Stable guiding principles, standards, or goals about what is important in one’s life. They are the lens with which one perceives and judges themselves and the world, hence they influence behaviour and decision making.

Word salad A nonsensical, circular, erratic ‘pastiche’ of words, statements and views commonly used when either in argument with the narcissist or when attempting to hold them to account for an issue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hET_bzSv5yQ

https://narcwise.com/glossary/

wow! that is a lot of information

Catenya McHenry chronicles her marriage to someone with narcissistic personality disorder in her new book.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3RF12xpgvM


How The Narcissistic Male Views Marriage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uf7v3-O-EIM

The Player vs Narcissist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXBgmWPmWEo

The Female Narcissist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyllxsJUpo4

Educative.

If i read it well, I'm a narcist as i could see like four to six things am found of doing in that write up.

Issokay


Nice write up BTW.


.

Plut01:


If i read it well, I'm a narcist as i could see like four to six things am found of doing in that write up.

Issokay

Nice write up BT
.

You can try to take the test on Narcissists personality disorder on the site below
https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/NPI/1.php