Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,165,049 members, 7,859,770 topics. Date: Thursday, 13 June 2024 at 06:28 PM

Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. - Family (7) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. (10980 Views)

What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? / Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! / What's Your Biggest Fear About Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 2:30pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Even the minority are not happy about it, of course we appreciate them but we all know they would rather not be in that position. grin

Explain please cry cry

grin grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 2:32pm On Jun 17, 2020
Romangalactic:

Took you a while to finish browsing NBS. And still at the end, you still didn't understand what living effing comfortably means. Perhaps being able to eat food and pay rent of 200/300k a year is what living comfortably reach for you, not my fault. As u also don't know the population of females in nigeria for you to claim that many work in multinationals, still not my fault.

Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions.
.
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 2:33pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:

I am waiting...

How did I go from this; A PROUD GOLDDIGGER,



To this... A PRETENDER. In less than 24hrs grin
Okay I'm sorry,you're not a pretender, you're a proud golddigger.
So do u now agree you actively look out for money in your choice of a man, and that this is NORMAL BEHAVIOUR for nigerian women who are also like you?

Simple question, no go shalaye again biko

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 2:36pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Okay I'm sorry,you're not a pretender, you're a proud golddigger.

So do u now accept you actively look out for money in your choice of a man, and that this is NORMAL BEHAVIOUR for nigerian women who are also like you?

Simple question, no go shalaye again biko

Did I ever deny? grin grin grin

saucecode:

Ahhh,who doesn't know Poco and her lusting for abroad niggas. She doesn't hide it sef. The person she's dating right now lives across the Atlantic.

saucecode:
pocohantas will not like this, especially the part about proposing and spending money

Did I?? cheesy grin

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by jikins(m): 2:37pm On Jun 17, 2020
Ariza:
It takes one with value to see value in another. There is a common thing about those who ask such questions, most of them lack sense and value... Just imagine!

Lol I understand your emotions, its justified. But I can't fully say he lacks sense or value base on one post.

You see in the society we are in, its very easy to be that way. Its very easy to just bash and look down on women. Just as it is easy to glorify corruption.

I will admit, I had similar opinions a while back. But as we grow, we learn, we develop our views on things. Granted not everyone will grow out of their prejudices. Some people will never even develop such prejudices in the 1st place. But it is what it is. Its just a prejudice.

This reminds me of the ex US president Ulysses S Grant, whose father was against slavery. But Grant married a slave owner's daughter and even owned a slave. But do you know what, he fought in the US Civil war that ended slavery where he earned the highest military rank in US history at the time. He became the first US president post Civil war and he tried his best to promote equality for all.

This is getting too long, but my point is we are complex beings. We aren't just one thing. He is definitely lacking in this regards, doesn't necessarily mean he is all bad. He just needs to expand his view on things.

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 2:44pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


Did I ever deny? grin grin grin

Did I?? cheesy grin
Good,now you understand why OP should be scared of you and your naija based sistas. You for no dey counter am since u already know his fears are valid and he should be careful.
Not every guy likes golddiggers the way I do

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 2:53pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Good,now you understand why OP should be scared of you and your naija based sistas. You for no dey counter am since

Please explain your contradiction. Am I a gold digger when you want

1:-
saucecode:

Ahhh,who doesn't know Poco and her lusting for abroad niggas. She doesn't hide it sef. The person she's dating right now lives across the Atlantic.
She's so good and cool & she no see man to date for Lagos. A whole lagos

And a pretender when you want?

2:-
saucecode:
Coco candy and pocohantas will not like this, especially the part about proposing and spending money

Since everyone knows 1, considering I DON’T HIDE IT. What do you think my sucre papito needs to know? grin

saucecode:

But you too,why did no man hook you all these years?
Your sucre papito met you on nl and doesn't know the real you yet. Is there something he's missing?

What is eating you up?? grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by oluwaseyi0: 2:53pm On Jun 17, 2020
Kriss216:
It is more decent to marry a 35 year old foreign girl than to marry a 21 year old Nigerian girl.
Keep deceiving yourself, the idea of marriage over there is completely bleep off

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 3:00pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

The matter is really bothering you o. We have concluded and u have agreed you're a golddigger and not a pretender na.

Can't we just make love not war

No, I need everyone to see how double mouthed you are. Choke on your bile!!! grin grin grin

Team #IMustAttackPoco.
Anslem04 na president for this one. Lol

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 3:01pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


No, I need everyone to see how double mouthed you are. Choke on your bile!!! grin grin grin
Okay golddigger

5 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Thegamingorca(m): 3:02pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Ahhh,who doesn't know Poco and her lusting for abroad niggas. She doesn't hide it sef. The person she's dating right now lives across the Atlantic.
She's so good and cool & she no see man to date for Lagos. A whole lagos


grin no mind am

2 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Thegamingorca(m): 3:17pm On Jun 17, 2020
GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.


Dude focus on the passports. Forget about that marriage shiit. When the time is right, you'll swing your dick around with some broads in Europe or Canada in dire need of closure.

Marriage systems are gradually phasing out. Whats more important is having a spawn to propagate your noble lineage

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Thegamingorca(m): 3:24pm On Jun 17, 2020
Also it doesn't help that you are a teetotaller in the United States
You need to get on out and experience the way of life in full force, both good and the bad.

Unless you want to end up being altarboy to a parish

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 3:33pm On Jun 17, 2020
Ariza:
For every demand,there should be a corresponding supply? Are we discussing commerce here? Altruism truly isn't most of you forte but that's even not my problem but your entitlement of it is what I find disturbing. Corresponding my foot! Aside money what can men "who think like you" provide?

All of you with no value will just join the bandwagon to throw question around. And you expect me to start answering you? Wait! Like: Good day Mr Anslem, Alpha males, Nairaland users and my fellow ladies. I'm here to debate on a topic that says: Aside sex women can provide a lot, please hop on the train as we journey down to important roles Women play in our society. But first of all I will like to Define who a Woman is:
According to long man dictionary........ grin grin grin


Honestly, y'all feel so important to think your opinion count. grin



commerce ke grin don't you think we've out grown that, bus 101 or sumtin could av suffice tongue when you say altruism are you referring to " her money remains her money" ..
You could av just answered the question, the long speech was unnecessary.
E.g Asides money, men offer a home, last name, security & protection, establishment to there wives.
Asides sex, women also offer ..,..??.... you can follow my example grin
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 3:52pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Even the minority are not happy about it, of course we appreciate them but we all know they would rather not be in that position. grin



Even half of the minority will ridicule there husband in such situation, that is why you see most men with wives as breadwinner suffer the highest form of depression.

2 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Ishilove: 3:59pm On Jun 17, 2020
Thegamingorca:



Dude focus on the passports. Forget about that marriage shiit. When the time is right, you'll swing your dick around with some broads in Europe or Canada in dire need of closure.

Marriage systems are gradually phasing out. Whats more important is having a spawn to propagate your noble lineage
You must be a Marlian

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Thegamingorca(m): 4:01pm On Jun 17, 2020
Ishilove:

You must be a Marlian


Really...for some reason I've never bothered listening to afeez tho.
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 4:13pm On Jun 17, 2020
Nowhere also did I say you put a knife to his throat to force him to...Anyways, I can see you love to argue and type lengthy words just to make a concluding point, so, let me leave you to it. Yes, stress free life. Ciao, darling.
annex1:


Lool. You didnt see me putting a knife to his neck to accept did you? Or where did you read that I'm forcing down his throat?

He posted a public topic and expected public replies. I posted public reply. If its not bothering him but bothering you then you have a problem.

And if it's a problem to you, start learning to unlook or advise him to look for another forum that has private topics so he can invite whoever he wishes to contribute privately.
Till then, live stress free yourself.
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Ishilove: 4:21pm On Jun 17, 2020
Thegamingorca:



Really...for some reason I've never bothered listening to afeez tho.
Trust me, you aren't missing anything.

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 4:34pm On Jun 17, 2020
annex1:
If for 32 years in Nigeria you never saw a "below 26 year old "who complemented this your personality. Then there was something wrong.

If 32 Nigerian years of your non-drinking, smoking and womanizing, you didnt have a lady who noticed this and and was endeared to you. Then there is something amis.

If for 32 Nigerian years of your being a "church-boy" didnt attract a Nigerian "church girl" My brother, something was definitely off.

Dont bother coming to Nigeria to lay-low like a regular guy to find a wife. What wife are you looking for that you didnt see in this same 32 years when you were a "natural regular guy"?

And for you stereotyping by suggesting that most Nigerian ladies would fall face down because your home is now North America is an all time low. This is possibly what is subconsciously not allowing you give any of the Nigerian ladies in Nigeria a chance. So that mirror you were looking at while creating your username, look deeply into it, see the problem. Attack the problem.

And also stay calm. There are ladies with typically good - wife attributes around you. You are in a diverse environment now so be open minded. That's what you wanted. Except you are in dire need of a Nigerian woman and in that case refer to the 5th paragraph.

God bless you tremendously for this post. You said it all, really.
As for the OP, you're a local champion. That girls will start falling over themselves because you're now in America. Lool. What a loser.

Is it not men like you that built the country to its high standards that you were able to migrate? One of my secret wishes is that western countries will place a ban on African and Asian MEN from migrating abroad for at least 50 years.

They must stay back in their home countries and build!!! If they can't build it to international standards, they should sit in the rot like that.

Imagine Oga that migrated just 2 years ago to a country fellow men like him built for their women and children to enjoy, coming here to abuse and denigrate his own women.

Is it any wonder they sit on you people's necks over there? I'm so angry because many men like him that manage to escape the hell hole they created with their low IQ and ineptitude will come and flex on women again to show that they are in the abroad.

America and Canada, please grant my secret wish. Let African men stay back in their countries. Thank you.

6 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by nkwuocha1: 5:03pm On Jun 17, 2020
GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.

Go through the list of ladies you have been 8n contact with years back before you travelled out.One must really not be that bad, contact her and marry her.
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Thegamingorca(m): 5:56pm On Jun 17, 2020
This guy don turn goldfish finally sha.

The amounts of pm sliding into his email no go be here right now. grin
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 5:59pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


No, I need everyone to see how double mouthed you are. Choke on your bile!!! grin grin grin

Team #IMustAttackPoco.
Anslem04 na president for this one. Lol



I know what you are trying to do !!
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 6:05pm On Jun 17, 2020
jikins:


Lol I understand your emotions, its justified. But I can't fully say he lacks sense or value base on one post.

You see in the society we are in, its very easy to be that way. Its very easy to just bash and look down on women. Just as it is easy to glorify corruption.

I will admit, I had similar opinions a while back. But as we grow, we learn, we develop our views on things. Granted not everyone will grow out of their prejudices. Some people will never even develop such prejudices in the 1st place. But it is what it is. Its just a prejudice.

This reminds me of the ex US president Ulysses S Grant, whose father was against slavery. But Grant married a slave owner's daughter and even owned a slave. But do you know what, he fought in the US Civil war that ended slavery where he earned the highest military rank in US history at the time. He became the first US president post Civil war and he tried his best to promote equality for all.

This is getting too long, but my point is we are complex beings. We aren't just one thing. He is definitely lacking in this regards, doesn't necessarily mean he is all bad. He just needs to expand his view on things.



if she can't , can you please enligthen me, share what you know about these women that differs & applies to majority
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 6:31pm On Jun 17, 2020
Rozz:
.
Lol, did you edit your comment or what? Why?
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 7:37pm On Jun 17, 2020
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin


Now can It get any better? grin

2 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 7:45pm On Jun 17, 2020
Romangalactic:
Lol, did you edit your comment or what? Why?
yes I did but it's nothing
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by GuyInTheMirror: 7:54pm On Jun 17, 2020
You guys have already derailed the thread.
Thanks to everyone that contributed.
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Ejenavi18(f): 8:10pm On Jun 17, 2020
This thread is just too funny abeg..
Op, GuyInTheMirror, hope you've gotten the advice you seek?
Fountainofyouth:



Haaaaa poco.hantas come and see o cheesy

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply)

Visa Lottery Reveals Wife's Infidelity / #OPINION : Does Marriage Even Make Sense Anymore? / What Do You Like About Your Father.

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 75
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.